Up until "Once More With Feeling," the only two people who knew the truth about where Buffy had been were Buffy and Spike, and through that entire time, I can not remember a single time when he was not supportive and helpful, and I cannot remember a single instance during that time when he tried to use that knowledge to his advantage. He was, in fact, the only person in Sunnydale who was not totally oblivious to her grief.
And as for being "truly selfish," I don't see where allowing someone to beat the mortal crap out of you on a regular basis while doing nothing to defend yourself constitutes selfishness.
And don't bring up "Seeing Red," because that was nothing more than a plot device used to make Spike decide to regain his soul and totally out of character for both Buffy and Spike.
Yeah but this isn't a Spike Vs Angel Topic, this is a What if Angel came back in Season 6, and I'd said Angel wouldn't have been selfish like Spike, and in Season 6 he was totally selfish, when their relationship started he should have know it was becasue Buffys life was sucking that it was happening and he shouldn't have done anything with her till she sorted herself out, but he was to selfish for that.
The examples you gave above were for Season 7 Spike, who as far as Im concerned was a totally different character, he did stop being selfish, but in Season 6, he just wanted sex with her, and didn't care about the reasons for it.
And don't bring up "Seeing Red," because that was nothing more than a plot device used to make Spike decide to regain his soul and totally out of character for both Buffy and Spike.
This had nothing to do with anything, so im not sure why it was brought up, but can't leave it haning there, as it's such an unfair point to make.
Firstly it couldn't have been more in character, your talking about the demon that killed 2 Slayers and loads others, tortured some with railroad spikes, attempted rape is within his character.
Secondly dismissing something as a plot device is such a load of crap argument, not to mention ridiculous.
We can also say The Mayor wasn't actually evil that was just a plot device to let buffy blow him up in the end.
You can't just choose to dismiss something as a plot device because you don't like it - although I see why you want to what with the beloved Spike attempting to rape Buffy not really fitting in so well with the "He loves her"