I agree that Buffy has a right to know but I don't agree with your earlier point that somehow it was Angel's responsibility to tell her. This one is all an Spike, you can't blame Angel for his cowardice in this situation. Spike bottled it, plain and simple.
(Okay. it's now 4:30, and the latest (and hopefully last) crisis has been dealt with, leaving me a few short moments before something else comes up)
I've been thinking about this off and on since my last entry, and I haven't changed my mind at all about what I said. I do believe that Angel has some responsibility in this matter, and that he has justifiable reasons to tell Buffy that Spike has returned. Unfortunately, the more that I think on it, the harder it becomes to express just WHY I feel that way. So this is the best that I can come up with, and even I can see that it's a not a really good argument, merely what I would have done if I were Angel or Buffy.
If I were Angel--I would feel responsible for Spike's death because he, in a sense, died in my place (that is assuming that Buffy bothered to tell him that about the circumstances of the last few moments of the fight as I'm sure she did). It was my job to wear the damn amulet, and I should have insisted on doing so, especially since I had my doubts as to just how dangerous wearing it might be. If it was a suicide mission, it was MY suicide mission, not someone else's. I agreed just too readily about that "second front" crap. I should have insisted on staying to help in the fight. It's what a real champion would do, and if I want to considering myself to be a champion, it's what I would have done.
If I were Buffy--I gave Spike the amulet, knowing that there were doubts as to just what its actual use would be and how dangerous it would be for the person wearing it. Whether I had "that cool axe thing going for me" or not, I was the leader, the risk should have been mine, not someone else's. By my direct actions, Spike died. Whether I was in love with him or not isn't an issue at this point. Spike, Anya, all of the others who didn't walk out of that hole alive died directly because of my actions, so, yes, I will mourn them. As their leader, that is the very least that I can do. If I could in any communicate my gratitude for what they did,I would do so.
Given Angel's (as I see it) feelings of responsibility for Spike's death, or loss of his undeath, I would feel that it was my obligation to assist the man who died in my place in returning to Buffy as he wanted to do, WOULD HAVE DONE, except for whatever mystical forces were keeping him chained to Wolfram & Hart. It could even be seen as being in my best interest, since not letting Buffy know of Spike's return would look far too much like I was just trying to eliminate a competitor for Buffy's affections and fresh baked cookies. Spike saved the world, and he did it in no small amount because he loved Buffy, and whether he does end up being her true love or not, as an honorable man, I should at least do everything in my power to insure that Buffy has that choice when the time comes,
Okay, I know that all of that is complicated and assumes quite a bit on my part, but that is still my opinion on the matter. I still feel that Buffy will hold Angel at least partially responsible for keeping her ignorant of Spike's return, and rightly so. Those are the actions that I believe, if Angel considers himself to be an honorable man, that he should have taken. Now, rip it apart as you see fit, but that is what I feel should have happened, and my explanation, to the best of my ability, of why I feel that way.
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Incidentally, I am referring to Angel's responsibility to contact Buffy immediately after he first appeared, not after he became corporeal again. At that point, I agree, the decision was Spike's and his alone.