Incorrect Quotes #3

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Darla: I once invited the dumbest guy to my house - said i wanted to have him over for dinner. When he commented that i had no food in, I smiled and told him i got takeout. He still didnt get it.

Next: Angelus
 
Joyce: I have one daughter who's the Slayer and another who materialised out of thin air.
Joyce: Why couldn't I just have children with drug problems?

Next: Giles
 
The Mayor: Remember boys, cleanliness is next to godliness!
The Mayor: Well, next to demon-ness in my case anyway.

Next: Cordelia
 
Cordelia: So Faith, how was Xander in bed anyway?
Faith: you're not missing much.
Cordelia: Okay, I'm so glad I didn't give it up to him. If I did, I'd probably end up married to him twenty years from now, fighting about his beloved Buffy while our demon spawn run around the house screaming.
 
Sorcerer: I give you a cursed amulet!
Fred: Cool! It’ll make me look cute, and the shadow that follows me will make me more active, I’ll get out more!

Next: Spike
 
Spike: That bleedin' pansy Angel spends far too much time mucking about with his hair.
Buffy: And that's coming from the man with immaculately styled, no strand out of place, bleached blonde hair...

Next: Willow
 
Willow: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

Next: Joyce
 
Joyce: Mr Giles is coming over tonight.
Buffy: Giles is coming? Why? What are we going to talk about?
Joyce: Oh, you don't need to be here.
Buffy: I can stay if you want.
Joyce: I really don't want.
Buffy: ...
Buffy: Oh dear lord.

Next: Drusilla
 
Drusilla: *bites lip* Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?
Cop: That isn’t gonna work, hands behind your back.

Next: Lindsey
 
Lindsey: So, this gesture is called "jazz hands."
*looks*
Lindsey: Err, "jazz hand."

Next: Gavin Park
 
Clem: Hello! My name is Clem and I have a problem.
Everyone: Hi Clem!
Clem: It's kittens. I just can't give them up. The fluffy little things just taste so good.
Everyone: ...

Next: Angel
 
Angel: Buffy... you're alive.
Buffy: Something like that.
Angel: Was it bad where you were?
Buffy: Heavenly. Now I feel like I'm in hell.
Angel: If it's any consolation, I'll be your guardian angel in hell.

Next: Olivia
 
Olivia: I got a taxi to Heathrow, waited in line for three hours, flew 13 hours to LA, got on a puddle-jumper plane to Sunnydale all for a booty call with Rupert Giles then caught the same feederliner to LA and got a 12-hour flight back to London and a taxi home.
Olivia: And if it wasn't for the scary things going on, I would do it all over again.

Next: Warren
 
Warren: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

Next: Harmony
 
Harmony: Why is being evil so difficult?
Spike: 'Cos you're thick Harm.
Harmony: That's mean!
Spike: What can I say. The truth hurts.

Next: Cordelia
 
Jenny: Xander, I was wondering how your computer project was working out.
Xander: Oh! Uh..haha! Great. Its...ah...heh...coming along just great.
Jenny: Good to hear. But you might want to delete your internet history afterwards...


Next: Wesley
 
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