Incorrect Quotes #3

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Adam: *eyes the wire he's plugging into his head distastefully* Had Mother never heard of WiiFi?

Next: Forrest
 
Forrest: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

Next: Professor Walsh
 
Professor Walsh: So this is what it is. Talking about communication... what is that sound?
Student: Sorry professor. It's my cellphone.
Student: *brightens* It's a thing used for communication!

Next: Dr Angleman
 
Glory: Its not that i'm a tramp - I just like to look good when i'm massacring humans.

Next: The Mayor
 
Mr Trick: Do you know what the best human invention is? Food delivery to your doorstep.
Mr Trick: And let me make it clear, I mean the humans turning up on your doorstep when you order something.

Next: Natalie French
 
Willow: Damn it! Black roots again.
Willow: Now I'm going to have to borrow Anya's hair dye again.
Willow: Good job she has so much she won't notice any is missing.
Willow: Or she'll be claiming that taking it without asking and never giving it back is theft.

Next: Giles
 
Giles: Buffy werent you supposed to be patrolling last night?
Buffy: I was. I was there. In the park. Investigating the sighting of our new local vamp threat.
Giles: Funny, I went by the park incase you needed assistance and heard music. Alongside the typical ruckus of teenagers.
Buffy:.....points for attending. But you just used the word 'ruckus' which gives me the moral highground...


Next: Harmony
 
Harmony: Spike, are you treating me as if I'm stupid just because I'm blonde?
Spike: No, Harm. I'm treating you as if you're stupid because you are stupid.

Next: Wesley
 
Wesley: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Next: Billy Fordham (Appeared in Lie To Me)
 
Billy: Vampires are cool and good, aren't they?
Buffy: *bluntly* No.

Next: Spike
 
Spike: Every bloody year we argue over which one of us gets to carve the turkey - why dont we settle this by flipping a coin?
Angelus: Fine *flips coin* Looks like i win, Spikey!
Spike: Fair enough *looks around* But first we need to figure out where the little bugger scurried off to...

Next: Faith
 
*Faith and Buffy are arguing*
Anya: Buffy? Faith?
Both: *irritably* What?
Anya: Why don't you admit the real reason you are arguing with each other is that you want to have sex with each other but will not admit it?
Buffy: I don't want to sleep with Faith!
Anya: Oh, pft! I have seen many women over the centuries who are attracted to each other and I can clearly tell you both want to have lots of orgasms together.
Buffy: Faith! Tell her we don't want to have sex with each other!
Faith: ...
Buffy: Faith?!
Faith: Um, demon girl's right, B. I do want to get you in the sack.
*Buffy turns red*
Faith: You are so hot when you're embarrased.
Anya: Very good Faith. Admitting how you really feel will aid your relationship with Buffy. Are you going to admit your true feelings too, Buffy?
Buffy: I do not want to sleep with Faith!
Anya: I can still remember a truth spell, Buffy. Shall I cast it on you?
Buffy: No!
Anya: Why not? It would prove your point that you do not want to sleep with Faith.
Buffy: ...
Buffy: *mumbles* 'cos it would prove yours.
Anya: See? Does it not feel better now that the truth is out?
Faith: Not half as good as it will feel for both of us in a few minutes. C'mon B, let's follow her advice and go have lots of orgasms. *both leave quickly*
Anya: Now I want lots of orgasms.

Next: Illyria
 
Wesley: why must you lie?
Lilah: it’s in my name. And my contract.
Wesley: lawyers are perhaps the most evil entity I’ve faced

Next: Lydia
 
Lydia: So, um, Spike, would you sign something for me?
Spike: Sure. What?
*Lydia shows him*
Spike: ...
Spike: It will wash off you know if you have it there.
Lydia: Oh, I will have it turned into a tattoo.

Next: Illyria
 
Illyria: I did what you asked me to do.
Wesley: Refresh my memory -what did i ask you to do?
Illyria: You told me to stop kicking Spike in the face.
Wesley: Oh thats right.
Illyria: So ive started kicking him in the crotch instead.

Next: Holtz
 
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