Incorrect Quotes #3

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Princess Cordy: Can i request a statue built in tribute of my oh-so-highest self?
Servant: I'm not sure that is possible.
Princess Cordy: Do I have the power to have you fed to a hell beastie?
Servant: I'll, ah, see what I can do...
Princess Cordy: Want me to sing Killer Queen again?
Servant: I'll get building your statue. *Hastily walks out*

Next: Lorne
 
Lorne: You know what I say? You can never have too many colours in the same outfit.
Angel: My eyes! My eyes! It burns!
Lorne: Now you're just being a drama queen.

Next: Fred
 
Fred: When people call me a nerd i tell myself thaf they're just jealous that i'm smarter than them. Then I smile politely and say 'your sweater's on back to front'.


Next: Drusilla
 
Dru: I'm ringing! I'm ringing! Why am I ringing Spikey?
Spike: 'Cos you're dancing around with bells on pet. You weren't supposed to take "with bells on" so literally.

Next: Willow
 
Giles: I'm sick and tired of you kids giving me no respect! From now on, I expect you to treat me the way I deserve!
Jenny: Very good Rupert. Now try saying it when the kids are actually here.

Next: Cordelia
 
Harmony: Last night i had a date with this guy named Jarod. He was intelligent and totally hot. And so sweet.
Cordelia: That's nice. Are you gonna see him again?
Harmony: I can't. He's dead.
Cordelia: Oh god. I'm so sorry!
Harmony: Don't be. I killed him. What do you think i meant when i said he was sweet?
Cordelia: ........

Next: Maggie Walsh
 
**Maggie Walsh:** Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Next: Adam
 
Adam: *mechanically* YOUR OPERATING SYSTEM HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN TO PREVENT DAMAGE TO YOUR SYSTEM. REBOOTING... REBOOTING... REBOOTING...
*some time later*
Adam: I hate Windows 95.

Next: April
 
April: Hello! Yes. This is the customer assistance AI. How may i help you?
Buffy: Uhm...ookay. I wanna discuss my utility bill.
April: I'm sorry. I do not understand that question. Could you ask again?
Buffy: My utility bill. I've been charged more this month and i want to know why.
April: I'm sorry. I do not understand that question. Could you ask again?
Buffy: Can i talk to a real person?
April: I'm sorry. I do not understand that question. Could you ask again?
Buffy: Sonofabitch!


Next: Faith
 
Faith: Gotta a question for you B.
Buffy: Yes?
Faith: Before you met me, had you ever been attracted to a girl before?
Buffy: ...
Buffy: Okay, maybe Amy.

Next: Tara
 
**Tara:** I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

Next: Xander
 
*Anya returns home*
Xander: Hi An.
Anya: Xander!
Xander: I know July 4th isn't really your birthday, but I thought we'd celebrate it as if it was.
Anya: Exciting! What did you get me? And why are you still sitting down?
Xander: *retrieves a magical device from a bag* This bit is more comfortable for me sat down. *uses the device*
Xanders: Happy birthday Anya!
Anya: 😀

Next: Buffy
 
**Cop:** Can you describe the person who stabbed you? **Buffy:** Lithe, spirited, outgoing, and not afraid to speak their mind. They were a raw sexual force and they knew it. They were a dandelion fluff on a summer day, gone in an instant, leaving you with nothing but a memory of their touch and the faint taste of strawberries on your lips. **Cop:** …Great, we have a motive, but we still need a description.

Next: Wesley
 
Wesley: *rushing in* Angel! Stop!
Angel: What's wrong?
Wesley: I made a slight error in the translation.
Angel: You said "To keep the hell god imprisoned, break the urn."
Wesley: Yes. It should have been "To set the hell god free, break the urn." Don't break the urn.
Angel: *looks down at broken urn*
Wesley: oops

Next: Giles
 
Buffy: I am happy to report that i have successfully beaten the monster - it wasn't easy: he almost killed me and it took a lot of strategizing and quick decision-making. But i finally killed it.
Giles: Well done, Buffy.
Buffy: The game took me about three hours to complete in total.
Giles: ............

Next: Doyle
 
Doyle: Now David, listen to me carefully. This is what an Irish accent sounds like.

Next: Fred
 
Fred: Sometimes when i'm explaining string theory people get that same look that dogs have when their owner tries to teach them to roll over.

Next: Gwen
 
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