Is Faith the only grown-up?

[bespangeled]

Taking Giles and Joyce out of the equation on the basis of age, I was pondering the scene of Faith in her motel room, and it occurred to me that she was emancipated in a way that none of the Scoobies could comprehend.

Yes, probably any of the Scoobies would know how to rent a motel room - but they also know they have a home to return to. The same goes with getting all the necessities - food, clothes, tampons, medial aid, legal issues. It was all on her shoulders, and apparently from an early age.

Yes, Buffy did a short gig of supporting herself early in season 3, but even for her this was a choice and not really a necessity.

Being a grown-up doesn't mean never making really bad decisions, because we would all be kids by that standard. It doesn't mean not committing crimes. But I think when you are willing and able to support yourself in all things then you count as a grown-up regardless of age.

That may have been part of the problem for Faith - the scoobies were kids. They didn't understand. They had support systems they just took for granted. So when they made fitting in - becoming a child and returning to school, dressing more appropriately and dropping the attitude - it was just a set of hoops she was too mature to bother jumping through. She no longer had that teen age need to fit in. Yes, she may have wanted friends, but people who put strings on their friendship are not friends.

Just musing - once again resenting the idea that Faith was somehow wrong and damaged from the moment she arrived.

 

[Blaze]

I don't think Faith was a grown up. I think she was a teenager that was forced to act beyond her age, not just in renting a place, but in being the slayer and having the weight of the world on her shoulders. But in the end, she had the brain of a very broken teenager.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

There are a lot of teenage runaways living on the streets. I don't consider them adults. For whatever reason, they have no home to go to or no safety at home so they leave. You could also say Chanterelle from "Lie to Me" and "Anne" was living on the streets as an adult but she showed little sign of being able to make adult decisions. There is no way you could call her mature.

For all her evil, Gwendolyn Post had it right when she said, "Faith. You're an idiot." When the mayor offered her a place to live and reasonable luxury, she never said to him that she was an adult and she didn't want anyone pulling her strings. She was so willing to please the mayor that she killed the professor and the courier and wounded Angel for him. And she definitely played the dutiful daughter for the mayor, not an adult making her own way in the world by her own choice. She was not able to escape the PTSD from the attack of Kakistos on her watcher and that plus a bad home situation forced her to leave. The mayor certainly had strings attached to his love.

Parenting skills among the sccobies' families were very deficient. Buffy had a missing father who offered no help at all and a mother who had no clue what she was doing. Willow had a mother who was more interested in categorizing and diagnosing her daughter than knowing anything about her and never noticed her haircut from months before. Xander lived in a dysfunctional family where the father and mother were constantly fighting. There were no happy families among the scoobies and no real distinction between them and Faith other than she left home and the scoobies didn't.

 

[bespangeled]

I don't think Faith was a grown up. I think she was a teenager that was forced to act beyond her age, not just in renting a place, but in being the slayer and having the weight of the world on her shoulders. But in the end, she had the brain of a very broken teenager.

I get this. I'm not saying she was a very functional adult - but adult is kind of an arbitrary designation as far as age in concerned. Yes, there are ages too young - one of my fosterlings remembers frying corn flakes for his younger siblings because his mother was off somewhere high on speed and his father was off on a heroine binge. He was 5 years old and had to act beyond his age.

He wasn't an adult, but he really was one when he hit 16. He was dealing with gangs and drugs, and though he never got into that, there were plenty of people after him because of his younger brother. Even now, 20 years later, he goes by his middle name, and lives in a different state.

Being the slayer is also part of why she has to grow up. It's the difference between Sunnydale Buffy and Hemry High Cheerleader, and some specific traumas. Seeing death, dealing death, seeing her slayer killed, being hunted - and no support system. Spike told Buffy it was her support system that kept her alive.

How does the mind of a broken teen differ from that of a broken adult? Isn't this why most adults break - all of these issues contribute. Yes, she fell apart - but go to any AA meeting to find the same stuff. Hell, look at Nicholas Brendon. Is age the only issue when considering someone an adult? To me, after a certain amount of time, how much they are in charge of their own life matters more.
 

There are a lot of teenage runaways living on the streets. I don't consider them adults. For whatever reason, they have no home to go to or no safety at home so they leave. You could also say Chanterelle from "Lie to Me" and "Anne" was living on the streets as an adult but she showed little sign of being able to make adult decisions. There is no way you could call her mature.

But they are adults. Childhood ends at different ages in different situations. And I am not talking about only class here - but poverty does lead to less of a support system. They are not functional adults - but there are lots of people older than they are who are less functional. Give me the age when someone becomes an adult. For what it's worth a 15 year old can petition for emancipation. Is 17 an adult - when Angel slept with Buffy? 18? 19?

Parenting skills among the sccobies' families were very deficient. Buffy had a missing father who offered no help at all and a mother who had no clue what she was doing. Willow had a mother who was more interested in categorizing and diagnosing her daughter than knowing anything about her and never noticed her haircut from months before. Xander lived in a dysfunctional family where the father and mother were constantly fighting. There were no happy families among the scoobies and no real distinction between them and Faith other than she left home and the scoobies didn't.

Yes, none of the scoobs lived in the Leave it to Beaver world. There parents were at times insensitive, out of touch, even argumentative. None of them had a perfect home. But there are tender moments between Joyce and Buffy - I assumes that those occurred for all the scoobies. These kids know that, if they want it, someone will feed them, clothe them, house them, and care for them. Faith manages without that security - it is all on her. Buffy may have had money problems later on, but Faith had to support herself in all areas. When you do that, I think you are pretty much an adult.

As to the Mayor and Faith, yeah - she had no loyalties to the scoobs. He gave her incredible things and was very fatherly and supportive - that was an amazing job by the way handling that and not giving it a sexual vibe. But once again - hit the local prison, or narcotics annon and you will find plenty of adults willing and wanting to have that arrangement. Hell, a lot of adults would not mind being indulged and pampered, and only the rare ones would insist that their benefactor be squeaky clean. This is a pretty common road, in fact. (I'm gonna assume that the killing is a slayer thing - had Faith not been a slayer she might well have managed a marginal life)

 

[Skanky Vamp]

To rent a place one usually pays for it- as in rent. Faith was only squatting at the hotel. Remember the hotel owners son coming to the door telling her that he is being sent to collect money, if he had his way she could keep staying there (more or less). She never paid rent.

 

[thetopher]

Sure Faith had adult type responsibilites- to take care of herself and be self-reliant- but she always wanted somebody to be in her corner, on her side and take care of her. Obviously her mother failed her and her watcher was murdered (so, in her mind, Faith failed her watcher) but Faith wanted- in some ways- very much to be a kid.
See her reactions to being given her own place by the Mayor. All enthusiasm and jumping on the bed. Very child-like.
I thing Faith was, paradoxically, probably proud of her confidence and independence but also desperately wanted to be taken care of and belong. That Christmas with Buffy and Joyce was probably one of her best.

 

[bespangeled]

To rent a place one usually pays for it- as in rent. Faith was only squatting at the hotel. Remember the hotel owners son coming to the door telling her that he is being sent to collect money, if he had his way she could keep staying there (more or less). She never paid rent.

So they were nice enough to let her have a room for free? Wait, no - she had to pay for it - and that is rent. You can rent a car for a few days, rent a motel room for a quickie, rent a lot of things. So how is paying for a motel room not rent?

 

[Skanky Vamp]

So how is paying for a motel room not rent?

She wasn't paying, hence the word squatting. The time the owners son came to collect he died. Squatters typically don't pay rent. Hell, that chick from Happy Days was squatting in a hotel here for months.

 

[Blaze]

I get this. I'm not saying she was a very functional adult - but adult is kind of an arbitrary designation as far as age in concerned. Yes, there are ages too young - one of my fosterlings remembers frying corn flakes for his younger siblings because his mother was off somewhere high on speed and his father was off on a heroine binge. He was 5 years old and had to act beyond his age.

He wasn't an adult, but he really was one when he hit 16. He was dealing with gangs and drugs, and though he never got into that, there were plenty of people after him because of his younger brother. Even now, 20 years later, he goes by his middle name, and lives in a different state.

Being the slayer is also part of why she has to grow up. It's the difference between Sunnydale Buffy and Hemry High Cheerleader, and some specific traumas. Seeing death, dealing death, seeing her slayer killed, being hunted - and no support system. Spike told Buffy it was her support system that kept her alive.

How does the mind of a broken teen differ from that of a broken adult? Isn't this why most adults break - all of these issues contribute. Yes, she fell apart - but go to any AA meeting to find the same stuff. Hell, look at Nicholas Brendon. Is age the only issue when considering someone an adult? To me, after a certain amount of time, how much they are in charge of their own life matters more.

For me, the level of maturity can absolutely be arbitrary. What someone has to do in order to survive can be arbitrary, independent of age. Look at child soldiers, they have to do things that no adult should ever even have to do. Of course it will expose children to things that will influence them in a way that would not happen for a normal child. But studies have been conducted, and whether a 16yo is a top grade highschool student in a nice clean neighbourhood, or a child of the foster system, the brain functions is still those of a undeveloped brain, a teenager or a child. Any 16yo is capable of acting maturely depending on the circumstances they grew in, but it doesn't make them any more of an adult than any other kid. It's a survival method. But given the option, I bet you any of those people would prefer to act like a normal kid or teen. It makes them more mature. Their brain is still one of a teenager or a child. As thetopher described, were showed many instances where Faith does act like a normal teenager, even childlike at time. Yes, she had to grow up faster, but it doesn't take away that deep down, Faith wanted what a teenager seeks.

Of course teenager and children can have huge issues, just as adults can, they can lead a seemingly adult life. But they are still just a very damaged kid to me. Of course, it depends on the definition of adult. In biology, technically the definition only means someone that has reached sexual maturity, so in that case they would all be adult. Legally the adult age is 18. But brain function usually does not reach the adult phase until around 25yo.

 

[weaker slayer]

Just because Faith lived in an apartment alone does not prove or disprove the others were not adults. Faith really did not have a family, and to grow up faster then the others if you say living alone. True, the writers could not show Faith living in a homeless shelter when she had a watcher. What good is a watcher if you live in a homeless shelter and from time to time sleep on a park bench.

In fact, Buffy Summers had more then Faith. After the death of Buffy's mother, she received the house. If you say being a adult by having an apartment is a sign of being an adult, being a homeowner during your first year in college is something most people never have.

 

[Lyri]

I think Faith is more aware of the world around her, she knows more about how bad things can get, how hard it can be just to survive, to find food and clothing and shelter. She's more street wise than the rest of the team, having grown up in a city like Boston for most of her life, whereas the others come from a tiny Californian town that doesn't get much outside influence.

But I don't think any of this means that Faith is more 'adult' than the rest and she proves this, to me, when she hooks up with the Mayor. Faith wants someone to take care of her and when she's with the Mayor, she regresses. Her cocky, aloof attitude disappears and she becomes a simple teenager - bouncing on the bed, acting shy when given a gift, laughing at his dad jokes. She even dreams of father-daughter picnics.

I think Faith has been through a lot in her life, but I think that just made her grow a think skin so that she would be able to deal with everything, but at her core, she's still a young woman who wants to be able to rely on someone and not have to worry all the time.

 

[gite63]

Faith wasn't grow-up, she was just street wise due her family/life circumstances. The fact that she lived alone – and “paid” for a motel room – doesn't mean she was mature for her age or anything, it was pure street smarts.

Buffy, on the other hand, showed how mature and grow-up she was from early age: after having gone through one of the most traumatic time of her life, she left town, got a job and a place to live all by herself; Buffy didn't get lost, as much as she was despondent and miserable.

As for the Scoobies not comprehend, how many of us – having had shelter, and food, and stability and love since birth: a home - can truly comprehend what is not to have none of these?

 

[mackenzie99]

If you mean emotionally,then Faith was a grown up, she had to be even though she was probably like 16 at the time cause she doesn't have mommy and daddy at home like the scoobies do...

 

[SB4thewannabes]

But I don't think any of this means that Faith is more 'adult' than the rest and she proves this, to me, when she hooks up with the Mayor. Faith wants someone to take care of her and when she's with the Mayor, she regresses. Her cocky, aloof attitude disappears and she becomes a simple teenager - bouncing on the bed, acting shy when given a gift, laughing at his dad jokes. She even dreams of father-daughter picnics.

I think Faith has been through a lot in her life, but I think that just made her grow a think skin so that she would be able to deal with everything, but at her core, she's still a young woman who wants to be able to rely on someone and not have to worry all the time.

Exactly. She's not more adult, she's acting like one. Kids get hurt, are seen as weak, and are easy targets - something she knows first hand having had an (at least) physically abusive home life. She's also most likely been the subject of her own 'get some, get gone' approach to relatoinships. The people who she has been around who haven't been are all adults and alpha personalities, so she adopts that as her outward appearence to the world. We see it slip in 'Amends', and, as above, in other ways with the mayor. By the time she gets to LA, the mask she wears has hardened, and taken over, possibly having melded with her personality permenantly, and now they're living with each other in a sort of co-existance in a similar way to how Oz learned to control the wolf. End ramble.

 

[bespangeled]

For me, the level of maturity can absolutely be arbitrary. What someone has to do in order to survive can be arbitrary, independent of age. Look at child soldiers, they have to do things that no adult should ever even have to do. Of course it will expose children to things that will influence them in a way that would not happen for a normal child. But studies have been conducted, and whether a 16yo is a top grade highschool student in a nice clean neighbourhood, or a child of the foster system, the brain functions is still those of a undeveloped brain, a teenager or a child. Any 16yo is capable of acting maturely depending on the circumstances they grew in, but it doesn't make them any more of an adult than any other kid. It's a survival method. But given the option, I bet you any of those people would prefer to act like a normal kid or teen. It makes them more mature. Their brain is still one of a teenager or a child. As thetopher described, were showed many instances where Faith does act like a normal teenager, even childlike at time. Yes, she had to grow up faster, but it doesn't take away that deep down, Faith wanted what a teenager seeks.

I think most of the issue seems to be that we all have different definitions for the word adult. Once again - I am speaking of life circumstances and not decision making skills. I don't hold being an adult as superior, only as indicating a different time of life. Faith does the job of taking care of herself with no support system, no family, and no help.

First off, the decision centers of the brain mature in the mid-twenties, so we can use the lack of brain maturity for everyone.😀

One of my main issues all along has been the idea that Faith is abnormal - as if most kids have ideal situations. Faith is the person she is because she adapted to the circumstances in her life. That actually makes her normal and fully functional. And an adult acting like a teenager or wanting to be taken care of is not all that unusual.

Faith really did not have a family, and to grow up faster then the others if you say living alone

Had to grow up faster - so what makes you an adult? It seems to be the product of growing up - faster.

If you mean emotionally,then Faith was a grown up, she had to be even though she was probably like 16 at the time cause she doesn't have mommy and daddy at home like the scoobies do...

Exactly! There is a difference between a child living at home, a child transitioning out, an adult living with parents, a teen living on their own. All of those give different challenges. But once you no longer have that family backing you up and you only have yourself to count on, then you are an adult, emotionally and psychologically.