Is it wrong?

S

SlayerDrow

She wants to go home.
Joined
Feb 27, 2004
Messages
223
Age
36
Location
Inside your mind.
Okay, last September a friend of mine died. I cried for days and was miserable for weeks. After a while I started to get over it. Of course I'm not fully healed, don't think I'll ever be, but things are, or have been, good. But recently I've started becoming miserable again...and I don't know exactly what it is. It may be that I'm feeling guilty about moving on...sometimes I force myself to relive that entire awful day just so the gray area will go away and I cry until I feel sick...or it could also be that I'm finally realizing that he is actually gone and isn't coming back, ever. I guess what I'm looking for here is someone to help me identify what I'm feeling and if it is normal to feel this way...
 
I think maybe you feel guilty about the fact that you're happy and your friend doesn't get to be too, in this life. You're trying to make yourself feel worse so you don't feel guilty. But it's ok to be happy. She would want you to.
 
I agree with srndpty cause my ex died last January and i got over it a bit but i still feel bad and i still cry sometimes i kinda feel quilty cause i have my whole life to look foward too an he doesn't anymore and its normal to feel that way....I dont know if the feeling will ever stop so i can't tell you if it does but it is normal to feel the way you do 🙂 i am really sorry to hear about your friend though
 
Im very sorry for your loss...

I hate to be blunt here, but, and quoting from Tara in Buffy here, you need to make a place in your heart for your friend, obviously, you'll never forget him, but moving on is normal, its healthy in fact...

I think whats happened is that you've not had much time to grieve, you say that you got over it quite quick, which is fine, but obviously is one of the reasons you're feeling guilty...but thats normal too...

When my Grandad died two years ago, I didnt grieve until his funeral, and...I was REALLY bad, like, hysterical, I just couldnt stop, but after I stopped, and I 'moved on' with life, I felt terribly guilty that I was happy, when the rest of my family was sad...

Its very common for people to feel like this, so dont think you're alone in this, or...that your wrong for feeling this way...

If ever you need anyone to talk to, I'll be here for you 🙂
 
A few years back a friend of mine died, he was actually on this board. I can't really explain how I felt, I was just in limbo and was going through the motions of every day but not really paying attention. I felt guilty for so many reasons, I wasn't there for him, I wasn't a good friend, I should have paid more attention. That stayed with me until very recently, it didn't matter how many people told me that it wasn't my fault he did what he did I blamed myself. I got on with my life as you have to do, but there are so many small things that remind me of him. There have been a few nights i've been out and swore i've seen him in every pub i've been to. If thats just guys that look like him, my mind or the drink I don't know. It happens now still, i'm not ashamed to admit that I talk to him when i'm in the house, because he is still part of my life and always will be. And even when i'm out places we used to go, I talk to him in my head (i'm not crazy honest) I've even had dreams where i've gone back and fixed everything I thought I had done wrong, but only to wake up and discover that it was all a lie.

Your friend will always be with you, and they know that you are thinking about them and will want you to move on with your life and not be miserable, as no friend wants you to be unhappy. I graduated last month and wore a pendant that he gave me, my mark to him as he was so proud of me for what I was doing and I knew that he was with me that day I got up on that stage, I was in tears that morning for him and my grandmother who wasn't there either, and well lets not get started on how much I cried that night when I had too much to drink.

I don't normally share private things like this, as I like to keep my private life, well private but there are some cases where putting yourself out there might just help someone else. If you want to chat you can get me on PM 🙂
 
Don't feel guitly. He'd want you to be happy. It sucks, and it hurts. But we do move on. I often feel really guilty because someone I was really close to died awhile ago, and it was really tough. She died of Lung Cancer...and I never even got to go see her in teh hospital. never got to say goodbye...and me and my sister and cousin were the people she asked to come see her. And we never got to. I still feel awful about it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom