jasmyne stone

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jasmyne

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jasmyne stone is a jamaican slayer releated to kendra and she is kendra"s 15yr old cousin her hair is dark brown and her eyes is dark brown and the that Iam writing right now is about jasmyne stone which is me and the story is going to be about a shy 15 yr old 10th grader girl who finds out that she is a slayer well I hope you like my story mrs buffy summers and I hope you Enjoy It. It all started when this went to a new high school that was called hunnybee high It was an all girl school the boys school was right beside and she walked in the and by an accident she bumped into a girl named christina who was captain of the cheerleader team and the most popular girl in the school and jasmyne was asked to be on the team by a girl named lakenya but christina said no and then things were really starting to get serious and christina and jasmyne got into a fight and then a guy named leon walked up to her and said he like her then aman named shaun said he was her watcher and he said that hunnybee,califorinia was in danger then my watcher he would teach me everything he know then my show went off and if you have or if anybody wont to right anything to me Iam here and hope you all like It goodbye and mrs summers you are like a mother to me and I love you and the rest of the team and I would really like to play in one of your new stories please mrs summers and I would like you and your the team to write me and I really love all of yall and i hope you enjoy my story goodbye.
:mobile_ph

please read my story andtell me what u think

And Another Thing Mrs Summers Please Tell Me If You Like Me.
 
Last edited by Buffy Summers : Today at 06:53 AM. Reason: Please use the edit button
Click to expand...

Erm, Buffy Summers, haha....you changed Jasmynes bit, that will probably break their heart!!!..

Erm, on the point of what has been written, firstly, hello. How are you? i hope you enjoy it here Jas.

NOW, for the 'nice' bit of 'writing' at the beginning.....erm, you have kinda mixed the worlds of that fantasy with this reality....lol

You erm, was this a description of your story, or the beginning of.

,.....and Buffy Summers, i'm shocked, you must have seen that Jasmyne was hoping for a 'hi' from you here.....instead of simply editting....for shame..FOR SHAME!!! 🙂🙂.....(i dont know how to do big grin, and cant be bothered looking through the icons)
 
Buffy Summers
Buffy Summers
I don't respond to spam
My points:

- Don't mention your thoughts in the story lol. Like Dia said, you've mixed reality with fantasy, which in my opinion, does not work well.

- You've used very little description. I mean for example, what did Shaun look like?

- You've also used very bad punctation; for one thing, names have a capital letter...It would be Jasmyne Stone.

My suggestion is to make this on a word document, or something on your computer with a spell-check 🙂
 
I m just letting you know that iam trying can you help me!!!!!!!!
 
im sorry. im trying to get used to this. im only 13.......so i am sorry
 
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