I also understand that you say we don't know what goes on behind the scenes, but I'd say that's true for the staff too you also don't know what goes on, I have made some wonderful friends over my time on the boards, and when those friends are upset, and tell you things such as they're thinking of leaving the boards, or they feel victimised, it does cloud your judgment of situations.
The thing about talking to your friends, though, is that 99% of the time when people get in trouble or get into it with a staffer around here, they refuse to admit they did anything to warrent getting reprimanded. That's why it sucks because the members get one side of the story; they don't see what goes on in the PMs and stuff. Having been on both sides of it, I can tell you there is a massive amount of discussion behind the scenes as to how to deal with certain situations on the board; I was totally surprised to see how much the members don't get to see when I first became a mod. And
you'd probably be shocked to your core to see the amount of nastiness the staff puts up with around here. People may say they were perfectly nice about a situation, when in reality, they were anything but.
I definitely say what I feel, and I know that can annoy some people. I'm also of the attitude that once a topic's done and ended, then that should be the last of it, you shouldn't hold grudges. There are people here I've had awful arguments with, but there's no one I could genuinely say that I dislike.
There's nothing wrong with saying how you feel, but it's HOW you say it. That's the point we've been trying to reiterate over and over around here. If you're nice to us, we'll be nice to you. But if you're overly blunt and rude in how you post, we're all to the point where we just can't be nice back all the time.
I do sometimes feel like it's one rule for one person, and another for another person though, which can be frustrating.
I can definitely agree with you that it can seem that way at times. However, it goes back again to what goes on behind the scenes and how things are being dealt with. Sometimes it may look to everyone that we haven't done anything to reprimand someone who's out of line, but in reality, there may be a war going on through PMs or something. And sometimes there is a
lot of discussion between the entire staff on how to handle something, so as not to treat someone unfairly.
I also feel like both members and staff can be waaay too sensitive. I know not everyone likes me around here...and that's cool. You don't have to. I'm not gonna get all upset about it, it's part of life, but like I say, if people could just leave stuff be after a thread has been closed, I think it'd be much easier.
It's kinda hard for some people to just let stuff go, especially if they continually butt heads with someone. However, you are right that a person's dislike of another shouldn't interfere with their ability to do a job. I have had to learn this, myself, and have learned that sometimes it's best to let another staffer handle things if you can't do it without bias. However, sometimes other staffers might not be available, and you may have to handle something that brings out the worst in you. We're only human, and we don't and can't handle every single situation with grace and humility.
It's also kinda sad when people feel scared to post, for fear of being rebuked or even banned by the staff, if they disagree with them. I've certainly thought I was going to be banned before after a disagreement with an admin.
As I've said to many others over the past 24 hours, you should never feel scared to post. However, if you post something and think "This is gonna piss some people off", it might be worth rereading to see if you can word it in a more civil manner. If you don't care about pissing people off, there's obviously a problem somewhere.
I'm not saying this in order to get out of anything, but I really do feel that we should just let bygones be bygones, however I don't think that can be achieved if BOTH the staff and members don't chill out a little.
I agree; we all need to take a breather and step away from the situation a little bit. But I also think certain members need to own up to their own mistakes a little more, too. The staff has admitted several times that we know we're not perfect, and we know we could handle things a lot better sometimes. But I notice a lot of finger-pointing from some members here who could definitely stand to take a look at themselves, too.
Also...I'd really like to see a clarification of the BB roles. You say we don't know what goes on behind the scenes...without naming names, and being as vague as you like...why don't you tell us? We can't be expected to just know you've had a crappy day. I think a lot more people would be sympathetic if you could give us a vague outline.
Claire x
We had a thread a while back that we posted vague accounts of things we were doing behind the scenes. We would say things like "Discussed member concerns with a member" or things like that, so people could get a feel of how much work goes into this board behind the scenes. Maybe we could do another thread like this, but we definitely have to keep things vague so as not to violate trust and privacy issues.
I, myself, just want everyone to understand that all this animosity has been building for a while. The staff is tired of getting treated like crap by members who have no respect for the rules of this board and the job we do to enforce them. I know the members are frustrated with a lot of things, too, though, but fail to realize that we ARE trying to work on things and make it better around here. It's just hard when people refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
