Just some thoughts.

[Spiral]

Of course it does. I'm sure some of them do...what I said then wasn't a criticism...I don't know why you're taking it as such.

if anything alot of what you posted seems disingenuous.

I have never dictated anyone's response...people can respond with anything they want...I really don't understand why you're getting so annoyed over my post, hahaha! I think I should be able to say what I want (with the obvious exceptions...) and the staff/members should be able to respond in kind. I just don't think it should go on and on. "I think" is me expressing my opinion, not me saying "THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE". It's just what I THINK. I'm aware others think differently...they're well within their rights to. There's nothing dictatory about that.

you posted that a person shouldnt take whatever happens in a thread personal & once it's closed, that should be that. & my response to that is...how does that help someone like Darla? who gets attacked simultaneously in 3 threads. how is she NOT supposed to take it personal?

I don't genuinely find many of the members whiny...and we should be, and are, as far as I'm aware, allowed to express opinions. That should be a moot point.

well we'll just have to disagree on that b/c i've seen MANY examples of how whiney, ungrateful & rude members are to staff around here. expressing opinions only goes so far. @ some point ppl have to realize that they're members on a board, essentially benefting from the fruits of the staff's labor & enjoying something being PROVIDED to them. If they have so many problems w/ every little thing that goes on or changes then maybe they should go somewhere else?

Before you jump on me...I was one of the many who said how much I loved the new theme. If I didn't like it, I simply wouldn't have posted, as has happened in the past.

i could care less who did/didn't like it. i think it's a damn shame that 3 different threads popped up to slam the changes & whine about it like it was the end of the boards as they knew it. did anybody consider how much time & effort Darla put into setting things up etc?

I'm just saying...its pretty effed up how ppl think their "right to express their opinion" should come @ the expense of those who work hard to keep this board going. if its that big a problem...why not just go somewhere else?

 

[FaithsFollower]

I have to say I must be having a big blind moment. I know I do not read through every thread on BB but I've not seen the team here (staff) attack anyone or throw their weight around without good reason to. ???

I agree with this. I, too, haven't noticed any of the staff attack or throw their weight around. If anything, the only time I see them "attack", and I use that term loosely, is when people are 'bitching' and 'moaning' towards them for being 'bitchy'. How can they NOT act/feel this way when people are constantly being negative about things, putting down every single new thing that the staff have gladly decided to share with us, getting upset about the littlest things, feeling entitled to things when all they really are, are privileges, acting like ungrateful brats, etc, etc? This message board? Yeah, it's supposed to be FUN. And while it's still fun for us members, it's probably not so fun for the staff. And THAT really sucks.

As somebody said in another thread, they are human beings. As all humans do, they have their crappy days and all they want is to come on here for some time to get away from stuff and they encounter...whatever. I don't know, I'm not them, but sometimes board stuff gets on their one last nerve [I should know; I'm a mod at a different board with our own issues].

Yes, we, the members, are allowed to voice our opinions. But shouldn't we extend that same courtesy towards the staff too?

I just don't like how people seem to jump all over the staff, especially Darla. It's NOT fair. Or cool. It makes me upset. It really does because I'm a really sensitive person.

So...yeah. That's my two cents.

 

[Enemies]

I wonder sometimes how the Boards would look if all the staff, but especially Darla and Faith, just threw their hands up and let it spiral out of control for a while. I wonder how many people would be moaning about it then. Personally I feel we could all jut calm down a little. It's not the end of the world if we don't all get a long. We weren't born to love everyone but please disagree respectfully. Be a bit more astute to what kind of efforts have been put into something before slamming it. Although I'm not condoning any rudeness of any kind from anybody on the boards all of us have bad days and sometimes snap at someone, a lot of the time when you see a mod 'snapping' its a build up of weeks worth of posts and situations leading to that point in time. As a newer mod I myself have learnt exactly how difficult it can be sometimes to post something on the board, in terms of going off topic, advice etc, in such a manner that it won't be ripped apart because some people are very adverse to being asked to do something, however it's not like we do this for the fun of it we do it because we care about the board and it's members. I've seen the way some staff members are spoken to and it makes me cringe, it's so disrespectful. A lot of the time these things go unnoticed because we as a team deal with it in our own manner however if the same was to be said for a member being treated poorly everyone would have their two cents so to speak. Not everything's so cut and dry. I think we all need to remember that sometimes we miss things going on at the boards because we can't be everywhere at once but we could all learn to be a bit more civil and understanding at times. I've made some brilliant friends here who have really been lovely to me and if it wasn't for this board and Darlas hard work over the years none of us would be here to say that.

I'm sorry for waffling but that's how I feel. I also want to add that if anyone has a problem question or needs advice you an always PM me. I am more than happy to help with any issues.

 

[Flannen]

A couple of things I'd like to add to this.

Firstly, the OP suggests that the mods (or some of them) need to get off their high horse but I also think some members need to take us off our pedestals. We are human; we sometimes to have made quick judgement calls and they may not always please everyone or be seen in the same light as other people, but it's the risk you sometimes have to take to keep things under control.

I'm personally quite offended by the way the staff have been called out here. Even though its been said several times, it's not every mod, they have also been references to the staff team as a whole and I have to agree with Taake with how saddened I am by it all. I mean, I agonise over PMs I send and posts I make, making sure that they cannot be misinterpreted, that I'm approaching members in the most appropriate way possible, changing words, adjusting punctuation to ensure that the tone is accurate only to then be made to feel like I'm a power junky who gets off on the fact I can delete and edit posts and have my own avatar?

I just find it really sad that history is repeating itself. There is so much miscommunication, it's unreal. At the end of the day, there are always going to be things going on behind the scenes that isn't relayed to you because a lot of things remain confidential, for the sakes of the members involved.

And one last thing, I've seen a lot of stuff about tone and how the staff are saying things that equate to "I'm a mod and you're nothing" and I think you have to bear in mind that you (general not personal) place a tone on a person's post. I'm not saying that no member of staff has ever made a snappy post (like I said, we're all human) but it's not as frequent as it seems some members think.

 

[SlayerFest]

We had a thread a while back that we posted vague accounts of things we were doing behind the scenes. We would say things like "Discussed member concerns with a member" or things like that, so people could get a feel of how much work goes into this board behind the scenes. Maybe we could do another thread like this, but we definitely have to keep things vague so as not to violate trust and privacy issues.
I, myself, just want everyone to understand that all this animosity has been building for a while. The staff is tired of getting treated like crap by members who have no respect for the rules of this board and the job we do to enforce them. I know the members are frustrated with a lot of things, too, though, but fail to realize that we ARE trying to work on things and make it better around here. It's just hard when people refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

I think that would be a good idea. A lot of people don't realize what you guys have to put up with. Those who see you as dictators or whatever will be able to empathize with you guys.

 

[EvilWillow]

I don't see any staff member as a "dictator" or anything like that, but I can't say I am surprised at the fact that other people do. But being staff isn't easy, and I know that at times, I have not made it easy on a staff member either. The staff are people too, with their own lives, and at times it may be hard, and as humans we slip up sometimes, but we have to respect each other's needs and opinions. We all get irritated sometimes, and we don't always have the reserve to control it, but it doesn't mean we can't try. 🙂

 

[Taake]

I think that would be a good idea. A lot of people don't realize what you guys have to put up with. Those who see you as dictators or whatever will be able to empathize with you guys.

Honestly, I see your point, but I don't think we should have to do that. We posted one of those threads, temporarily, just to give a feeling of what we deal with. People like it but personally I felt it was a bit of an infringement on privacy when it came to cerftain matters. To me some things are meant to be private, some things are private concerns and not important for the whole board to know about or be able to theorize about.

It's not about secrecy or hiding things from anyone but personally I prefer for people to be able to come here and enjoy their stay without worrying what the staff are up to, or the less pleasant things that are going on, mainly because they shouldn't have to. You're here to discuss Buffy, please, focus on that and treating each other well. 🙂

I just want you all to know that none of us consider ourselves above you, and that what we do is always for the best of the boards. It's not so much about wanting empathy as respect for that. We're not powermad crazies, we're just trying to make this place pleasant, for all the members.

 

[BuffyElevated]

I just want you all to know that none of us consider ourselves above you, and that what we do is always for the best of the boards. It's not so much about wanting empathy as respect for that. We're not powermad crazies, we're just trying to make this place pleasant, for all the members.

Exactly... Every decision that I make about the board is with the best interest of the board and its members in mind. Sometimes you have to be the "meanie" to get things done, and that sucks. But I tried the whole nice guy thing when I first became a mod and people walked all over me, so to speak, so I had to harden myself a little bit. One mod said in another thread that it's a fine line, and I agree with her... If we're too hard, then we get labeled a Nazi and if we aren't hard enough, then people don't take us seriously when we do try to do our job.

 

[Jules]

I really think that the menbers on this board need to respect the staff a lot more than they do. For all intents and purpose they are ''managers'' on this board. I dont think their actions need to be justified. Honestly, if someone in your work place was being disciplined you would never dream of asking the manager to divulge evidence about why that employee was in trouble, you would respect the system enough to know that if they were in trouble it was because they had done something wrong.

The comment about us members being treated like children because the layout was complained about, well there is a saying that if you act like a child expect to be treated like one. And personally I dont think that action was childish, I took the time to read all of the posts in that thread and the number of times that it was mentioned by Darla, that if the layout didnt work it would be changed back and people were either too ignorant and just wanted to post negative comments or didnt take the time to read the posts.

I really think the staff on here do a great job, and I'm sorry Darla that its getting to the point were its not enjoyable for you *hugs*

 

[EvilWillow]

I really think that the menbers on this board need to respect the staff a lot more than they do. For all intents and purpose they are ''managers'' on this board. I dont think their actions need to be justified. Honestly, if someone in your work place was being disciplined you would never dream of asking the manager to divulge evidence about why that employee was in trouble, you would respect the system enough to know that if they were in trouble it was because they had done something wrong.

😵

At any workplace I have ever worked at, a manager's actions must always be justified, especially with disciplining an employee. I agree that it's not anyone's business what happens with others though. Unless they choose to share.

But this is not a very good comparison to an internet message board, where none of us are paid to be here. We really don't have rights at all, since we don't contribute monetarily, then again, do any of the staff, besides Darla?

Darla is a reasonable person, which is why user feedback is always considered. But ultimately, it is up to her.

 

[Jules]

😵

At any workplace I have ever worked at, a manager's actions must always be justified, especially with disciplining an employee. I agree that it's not anyone's business what happens with others though. Unless they choose to share.

But this is not a very good comparison to an internet message board, where none of us are paid to be here. We really don't have rights at all, since we don't contribute monetarily, then again, do any of the staff, besides Darla?

Darla is a reasonable person, which is why user feedback is always considered. But ultimately, it is up to her.

Ok, it you dont want to buy into the work place comparison, that's fine.

The feedback on this board, that I have seen, is never usually given to Darla in a nice way. Members write a lengthy post on how they are entitled to their opinion, give it as bluntly as they wish, expecting her to take it because it is only helpful commnts. I'm sorry but if you write a post with things like ''I hate this new layout'' or ''the problems on this board are due to staff having a God complex'' and then put a sentence at the end saying that it isnt meant to offend, that does NOT excuse the rest of the post and memebers really need to get a reality check if they think that is acceptable.

Also with regards to having a ''God complex'' it isnt the staff on here that have that problem, its some of the members. With comments like members would better understand the staff if you could see what you have to put up with, if evidence was shown etc. Why do we as members need the staff to justify anything.

If my post comes off as blunt, then so be, I dont think its fair to have a thread like this were the staff are getting picked on, anyone else would accuse this of bullying. Also I bet every member of staff has had to check their post so they dont ''offend'' anyone with their tone.

 

[zobothehobo]

I just read through this whole thread and I have a couple things to say. I too have noticed a change the the mods' behavior. I've also noticed a change in the members' behavior. To be honest, I usually come to the boards, refresh see if I have notifications, MAYBE check out what's going on in VH and then go back to tumblr... because the negativity here is absurd.

A while back during the 10 years of Buffy-Boards thing, we were asked if we could change one thing what would it be... and I said the lack of good communication between the mods and the members. That sometimes members (myself included) feel literally afraid to say something because of the way the staff will react. Sometimes members do get ganged up on by staff. Sometimes, the staff gets so wrapped up in their feelings of being mistreated that they lash out. This DOES happen. It DID happen with the layout thing, but that's neither here nor there. Now this isn't to say they don't ever get mistreated. Mods get mistreated just like all of the other members here.

When I joined the boards in August 2010, the staff was helpful, polite, kind. If I had an issue, I felt I could openly talk to them about it. And I ADORED that. The place I came from as my online home before here really did have a dictatorship for staff. The head administrator was a jackass for lack of a better word. It was a terrible place... the staff was downright MEAN to the members... one time, the a member of the staff publicly said on twitter she wanted to punch me and another member in the face... and NOTHING was done about it. I remember BEGGING for rules to be set up. There were literally no rules. And they kept yelling at me for crossing lines and breaking rules that were not documented. It really was absurd. Then I found here and I just... I was so happy.

The first couple months here on the boards were fantastic... all the way up until about March 2011... that's when I noticed a huge shift. The shift was to the point, I couldn't tell what the mods were going to do... that's why the April Fool's joke of that year hurt so bad. When Darla and Cait started going at it publicly, I HONESTLY thought it was serious. Because at that point the staff behavior had become so unpredictable that I didn't know what was going on. I didn't step in and defend Cait because I thought that if I did, I would have gotten banned in a milisecond. I did not like that feeling at all.

Then I noticed more general nastiness from staff... I notice it from staff more than members because they're supposed to set an example. If the staff is negative, you can't dare expect the members to be positive. That's absurd. The staff LEADS us. I noticed a couple staff members poking in to things telling people to be nice to each other in a less than nice way. There was this one time I remember, I was reading a thread... and it had kind of gone into a semi-off topic circular argument between two members... and the very first staff warning in the thread said "Be nice or the thread gets closed." And I just remember sitting there astonished that there was no polite "hey guys, a reminder to keep this on topic and be polite" before the threat... there was just a harsh, cold, one sentence, one line threat.

In about November I pulled away from the boards big time. I did not have the emotional energy to put up with everything... as I've been trying to come back and get back into it... I can't help but notice the negativity from everywhere. Member negativity is met with staff negativity which is met with member negativity. And pointing fingers from the staff to the members or from the members to the staff is not going to fix it.

I understand that EVERYONE is fed up with it and just plain tired. This everyone includes me. a year and a half ago during my first couple months on the boards, I never would have imagined a situation where I would post in the "check out" thread. Honestly... 'cause I NEVER go without internet and this place was my HOME. But now, the only thing that keeps me from posting there saying "I'm only going to lurk. Peace out board!" is that I don't think I need to let everyone know that because it's pretty much what I already do. That saddens me beyond belief.

I wish there was a way we could all click *reset* and just not be upset or annoyed or frustrated with each other anymore. Because I know there are some names I see pop up that I roll my eyes at because I just don't like them. Everything they say sounds snotty and mean. And I'm sure other people have those lists too. I'm sure I'm on that list for some people. And I just wish it could all just stop. 'Cause I'm not a mean person, and I know those members who are on my list probably aren't either. But we're in a vicious cycle here. The mods and the members need to stop pointing fingers and EVERYONE needs to step up and accept responsibility. During the be nice on the internet week, I posted about apologies and part of what I said is "for every situation you feel you're owed an apology, you owe one too." And that's true... NOTHING in life is totally one sided. We ALL have a part to play in this. And we ALL need to step up and say "I'm sorry, I've been a bitch."'

That said, I'm sorry... I've been a bitch. The most recent example is the layout thing. I still stand by my opinion that the mods overreacted... but I'll concede that I did too. I spoke purely from emotion at the beginning... and then a little from a rational place, and then totally from emotion again. I have a way of letting my emotions get the best of me, just as they did here. It's something to work on. Something I need to be more aware of. This is something I did wrong that contributed to the negativity. And this is not the only time I've let my emotions get the best of me in this way, and for that... I truly apologize.

 

[Taake]

Then I noticed more general nastiness from staff... I notice it from staff more than members because they're supposed to set an example. If the staff is negative, you can't dare expect the members to be positive. That's absurd. The staff LEADS us.

I'm really sorry Zoe, but how many times have you not quarreled with us about your right to express yourself freely, regardless of how rude it might seem, or complained about having to censor yourself here... as far as leading goes I can't remember a time when you ever allowed yourself to be 'led' on these boards. I am not saying this to be mean, but if you're going to post about how nasty we're being I am now taking my cue from you, and where once I would have kept my mouth shut, I will point out that perhaps if you noticed an increasing negativity from the staff (not all members have done this clearly, but a choice few) then perhaps it hasn't got everything to do with us on the staff but perhaps it has to do with how your own behavior was landing with us, or with what complaints we got about it from other people. Repeatedly ignoring or circumventing warnings, be it in threads or pm's, will not be tolerated for a long time and yes, perhaps our tolerance with certain people ran short. But I can assure you that it was not without reason.

In about November I pulled away from the boards big time. I did not have the emotional energy to put up with everything... as I've been trying to come back and get back into it... I can't help but notice the negativity from everywhere.

Yes, and childish as it may seem I'm going to point out that you did not bother to resign from your post as a prefect from VH during this time, demonstrating to us how you were not taking the responsibility you had been given very seriously which yes, some of us were offended by.

Member negativity is met with staff negativity which is met with member negativity. And pointing fingers from the staff to the members or from the members to the staff is not going to fix it.

Agreed.

I wish there was a way we could all click *reset* and just not be upset or annoyed or frustrated with each other anymore.

The only thing each individual can do is to work on their own attitude on the boards and what we're putting out here. There's no reset, just personal adjustments from all of us.

The mods and the members need to stop pointing fingers and EVERYONE needs to step up and accept responsibility. During the be nice on the internet week, I posted about apologies and part of what I said is "for every situation you feel you're owed an apology, you owe one too." And that's true... NOTHING in life is totally one sided. We ALL have a part to play in this. And we ALL need to step up and say "I'm sorry, I've been a bitch."'

This is true but I have to say that regardless of what your post previously stated I don't see any unreasonable lash-outs from the staff. Perhaps I am biased but when you're faced with constant negativity (and unlike some of you we don't take lenghty breaks from the board, we're here to see it and deal with it all the time) wears on you. I'm sorry if I have come across as short however, or specifically in this post as a bitch, but I'm tired of sugarcoating it for you guys when all we're met with is negativity anyway.

I love Buffy Boards, I'm on here almost every single day because I love it, through thick and thin and I will continue to be a moderator for as long as Darla and Faith allow me to be, if that rubs some of you the wrong way then I'm sorry, but I can only say that in complete honesty that I have never intended to abuse my 'power', it if comes across as such then I'm sorry for that to, and that in the continuation of this site I will go on doing the best work that I can, trying to keep this place a welcome site for everyone, that sometimes mean being the 'bad guy' and I don't mind because at the end of the day BB is my online home and I will not let anyone step all over it or any of our members (staff included) without trying to help.


I'm gonna add a phrase that I quickly noticed was a general rule when I first started modding; everyone loves a moderator... until they're being moderated... 😉

 

[Washburne]

I just want to point out that in your control panel there's an option there you can add memebers to your ignore list. Edit Ignore List. If there's certain members that make you angry, sad or annoyed a lot that can be a good way to avoid unpleasentries. I doubt that many know of that option.

I've never used it myself but I think someone put me on it at one time. Or if it was a joke/threat. Of course it can have happened a lot more. I don't think you get a notification when you're put on someones list.

 

[zobothehobo]

I'm really sorry Zoe, but how many times have you not quarreled with us about your right to express yourself freely, regardless of how rude it might seem, or complained about having to censor yourself here... as far as leading goes I can't remember a time when you ever allowed yourself to be 'led' on these boards. I am not saying this to be mean, but if you're going to post about how nasty we're being I am now taking my cue from you, and where once I would have kept my mouth shut, I will point out that perhaps if you noticed an increasing negativity from the staff (not all members have done this clearly, but a choice few) then perhaps it hasn't got everything to do with us on the staff but perhaps it has to do with how your own behavior was landing with us, or with what complaints we got about it from other people. Repeatedly ignoring or circumventing warnings, be it in threads or pm's, will not be tolerated for a long time and yes, perhaps our tolerance with certain people ran short. But I can assure you that it was not without reason.

The purpose of my post was not to point out how nasty you're being. The point of my post was to point out how nasty EVERYONE is being and how it's a vicious cycle that is nobody's fault at this point. Which is, to me, exactly what you're saying here. I know that the increased negativity on the mods' side isn't non-provoked. Just like I know the increased negativity on the members' side isn't non-provoked either.

As for arguing about expressing myself... Usually it's because there's this tenseness between the staff and the members and I'm afraid that when I post something, the staff will get overly defensive about it.

Yes, and childish as it may seem I'm going to point out that you did not bother to resign from your post as a prefect from VH during this time, demonstrating to us how you were not taking the responsibility you had been given very seriously which yes, some of us were offended by.

I know. And I'm sorry. I should have resigned from being prefect... But hindsight is fifty/fifty... and I honestly thought it was going to get better. But it didn't, and I didn't. And I'm sorry. I don't know why you felt the need to point this out here.. you're right, it is childish. Not because you're wrong, or even because nothing can be done about it... but more because it has absolutely nothing to do with what we're talking about here. To me, this seems to be just a way to make me loose credibility in the eyes of this conversation, which actually proves my point. To me it seems you're trying to air my dirty laundry for the whole board for the sake of doing it. Thank you for that exercise in immaturity. This is a perfect example of negativity on the mods' side for no reason. I mean really? Why do this? What on earth could have made you think doing this would be a good idea? You knew it was childish and rude... so why say it?

The only thing each individual can do is to work on their own attitude on the boards and what we're putting out here. There's no reset, just personal adjustments from all of us.

I know. And that's why I said "I wish."

This is true but I have to say that regardless of what your post previously stated I don't see any unreasonable lash-outs from the staff. Perhaps I am biased but when you're faced with constant negativity (and unlike some of you we don't take lenghty breaks from the board, we're here to see it and deal with it all the time) wears on you. I'm sorry if I have come across as short however, or specifically in this post as a bitch, but I'm tired of sugarcoating it for you guys when all we're met with is negativity anyway.

Look earlier in your post to me when you just aired my dirty laundry for the board to see. That was unnecessarily mean. My post was not pointing fingers at the mods.. my post was not pointing fingers at the members.. my post was what I consider to be a rational explanation of a vicious cycle of negativity... and you choose to be unnecessarily unkind. "Short" is one way of describing part of the negativity... but "rude" is a way of describing all of it.

I'm gonna add a phrase that I quickly noticed was a general rule when I first started modding; everyone loves a moderator... until they're being moderated... 😉

I've staffed on other boards, and I'll gladly agree to this. To be honest, modding is something I have great respect for. It's something I generally suck at. I get annoyed and pissy. I always start kind, respectful, and helpful... and I usually end somewhere around rude, offensive, and mean.

One more thing: My first post in this thread was written in a calm tone. When I read it back to myself, I do so in a calm level-headed tone. But this post is in a defensive tone. This defensiveness came from the defensiveness Taake had in her response to me. During the 10 years of Buffy-Boards we were asked if we could change something what would it be and I said it would be the tenseness between the staff and the members. My exact quote was

If I were to change one thing about BB, it would be how tense people get when dealing with Staff. Which includes staff. Over my time here, the only drama I've seen has come from the staff getting overly defensive about something or a member getting overly defensive about something towards the staff. That tenseness needs to go away on both sides. And I'm feeling hesitant about even posting this because I'm afraid of the defense I'm going to get from the staff. I'm not criticizing or getting mad or anything... it's just something I've noticed that if I had the power to, I'd change.

And I stand by that. The "or" has been highlighted so that neither side gets frustrated here. This cycle of overly defensiveness needs to stop. That was my point in my first post in this thread, and the tone of the two posts that follow (between Taake and I) prove it.

 

[Jules]

I know. And I'm sorry. I should have resigned from being prefect... But hindsight is fifty/fifty... and I honestly thought it was going to get better. But it didn't, and I didn't. And I'm sorry. I don't know why you felt the need to point this out here.. you're right, it is childish. Not because you're wrong, or even because nothing can be done about it... but more because it has absolutely nothing to do with what we're talking about here. To me, this seems to be just a way to make me loose credibility in the eyes of this conversation, which actually proves my point. To me it seems you're trying to air my dirty laundry for the whole board for the sake of doing it. Thank you for that exercise in immaturity. This is a perfect example of negativity on the mods' side for no reason. I mean really? Why do this? What on earth could have made you think doing this would be a good idea? You knew it was childish and rude... so why say it?

But this is exactly what other members have requested. They want evidence as to why staff are so ''rude and blunt''. People cant have it both ways, you cant say one minute that staff have to justify themselves and then when they do say that they are picking on you and trying to make you look less credible.

 

[zobothehobo]

But this is exactly what other members have requested. They want evidence as to why staff are so ''rude and blunt''. People cant have it both ways, you cant say one minute that staff have to justify themselves and then when they do say that they are picking on you and trying to make you look less credible.

Ok 1. I didn't ask for evidence as to why the staff is so "rude and blunt," because I see it. Members are rude. So for this meanness to be directed at me... I can say that this was mean.
2. What does this have to do with that? What does me not stepping down as prefect when some personal things came up and I pulled away from the boards have to do with why they're so defensive and on edge all the time? This was a low blow. And it was unnecessary.

 

[Bexieh]

So, as far as I'm seeing this thread is going around in circles and that's not going to be constructive to the cause. It's all very well saying "the staff are mean" or "nope it's the members who are the meanines" but that's just going to keep going in circles. Would it not be better to accept that there are issues on both sides (I've seen people acknowledge their mistakes already) and instead of continually pointing them out, post and say what you, just you, are going to do about it and contribute to stopping the negativity on the boards? If we're all on the same team of stopping the negativity and acknowledge what we're doing about it instead of what everyone else is doing about it, perhaps we'll get further towards stopping it?

 

[This Year's Girl]

So, as far as I’m seeing this thread is going around in circles and that’s not going to be constructive to the cause. It’s all very well saying “the staff are mean” or “nope it’s the members who are the meanines” but that’s just going to keep going in circles. Would it not be better to accept that there are issues on both sides (I’ve seen people acknowledge their mistakes already) and instead of continually pointing them out, post and say what you, just you, are going to do about it and contribute to stopping the negativity on the boards? If we’re all on the same team of stopping the negativity and acknowledge what we’re doing about it instead of what everyone else is doing about it, perhaps we’ll get further towards stopping it?

I agree with Bexieh. Very well said. :heart:

This is what I'm going to do to contribute:

-stay out of threads with topics that I know upsets me to the point that I can't have a respectful discussion about it.
- Give people the benifit of the doubt. If someone says something that I consider mean or hurtful I'm going to give them a chance to explain and not assume that the intention was to be mean. I'm also going to be honest about my feelings (in a respectful way!) when this happens.
- Try to give back some of the wonderful spirit and team feeling we have in VH to the rest of the boards too ---> widen my circle.

That's all for me now. :heart: for everyone!

 

[Taake]

Ok 1. I didn't ask for evidence as to why the staff is so "rude and blunt," because I see it. Members are rude. So for this meanness to be directed at me... I can say that this was mean.
2. What does this have to do with that? What does me not stepping down as prefect when some personal things came up and I pulled away from the boards have to do with why they're so defensive and on edge all the time? This was a low blow. And it was unnecessary.

For me it wasn't a low blow, it was an example of disrespect that to me shows that while members are happy to reap any benefits you're not willing to face up to things you have done yourself. You gave an example, I countered with a personal grievance that fitted as an example of my own. Perhaps you don't remember that I tried to help you during that time and it was blatantly ignored, something that yes, I found to be disrespectful and that as a moderator, I chose not to vent to spare your feelings and ensuing drama, which is why I have not lashed out as this before.

Doing so now is from my belief that if you have the right to an opinion, you have the right to be criticised for it, normally I have not done so in this kind of way, but I'm just tired of taking it I guess.

Sorry if you thought it was childish, I could counter that argument to but I don't see a point, the thread has started to go in circles and I don't see much good coming from it anymore. I wanted to give my view of things and I have, for once without censoring myself (which I don't mind doing because I prefer to stay neutral but enough is enough this week).