Let's talk about Joyce

[Professor Walsh]

What do you think of Joyce? Do you like her? Dislike her? Was she important to the show in her own right or merely a background figure used to add a hint of reality to Buffy's life?

 

[Big Damn Hero]

I love her 🙂 Especailly seasons 1-3 (but that could just be because they are my favourite seasons of Buffy).

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

I like her. I can't say I love her but I don't have a problem with her either. But I think she never accepted Buffy being a slayer, and sometimes her reactions were fast, as her words. And the thing I hate the most, is when she went to Angel in The Prom, that just wasn't her place.

 

[Spike Angelus]

I liked Joyce. I think she showed that even though Buffy was the Chosen One, she still had a family who cared about her, other than the Scoobies.
When she died in season 5, it was a shock to me.

 

[anyatara]

I didn't used to like Joyce; not the first few times I watched through Buffy. I thought she was exteremely unfair in Becoming, when she tells Buffy not to return once she'd left; but I kind of got over that. I know where she was coming from - I doubt it was easy having Buffy tell her she was the slayer - and I grew to love Joyce. Sometimes I wish my own Mother were more like Joyce, as harsh as that sounds. But, yeah, I love Joyce now; The Body brings me to floods of tears every single time I watch it; Joyce truly was an amazing character in the 'verse.

 

[MinwaraYana]

Joyce was a nice mom, but I won't say I love her. Sometimes she acted or said something that made me think she didn't want to have children. But I know completely that she loved Buffy and Dawn so much. I even like her more in season 3-5, after she found out about Buffy being the Slayer. And I think I love her in season 5 with Dawn. You can feel her warm mommy hugs and Summers love. 🙂

 

[saturn5]

Loved her to bits, best TV mom EVER! Met Kristine Sutherland too and she's wonderful

 

[Lindsey McDonald]

I think, generally, the older you are, the more you grow to love Joyce. Young people would tend to view her from the young Buffy's perspective. She's unfair, she's restrictive, and she's a pain. But when you get older you begin to understand the reasons why Joyce did the things she did. It's all from a place of love. And that's why I find her such a wonderful character. The depths of frustrating irrationality she reaches are, in the end, justified by her desire to protect her kids in a world of absolute horror. Plus, she was just adoreable with Spike!

Edit:

Kean agrees: I completely agree with you. I will admit though I nearly spit me tea out laughing when you say "Young poeple" and then I look to your stats and it says 19! Old soul!

Yup, I was pretty much born 40. 😉

 

[Megalita]

For the most part, I liked Joyce. When she was sick and eventually died, I really sympathized with Buffy because my mother also passed away. The scene where she's on the couch, and Buffy is just stunned really holds a place in my heart. I think that's one of the main reasons why I enjoyed watching Joyce on screen so much -- she reminded me of my mom.

 

[BillyidolwannaB]

I liked Joyce a bit, she had a kinda friend relationship with Buffy that i liked, and she seems usually quite smart and openminded for a mom. But there was a few episodes she really irked me(becoming and band candy) generally she's a cool mom though.

 

[Lyri]

I grew up with Joyce, like Buffy, so I get to see her from both sides of the generation gap.

On the one hand, I think she's a wonderful person, who only tried to do the best for her daughters and their friends. She was the only parental figure with a true connection to the core cast that we ever saw, and I thought she held that place well.

But on the other hand, I thought she did some really questionable things, even if she did do it because she had Buffy's best interests at heart.

The whole going to see Angel thing in 'The Prom' was way beyond her duties as a mother. Buffy was eighteen, old enough to choose what she wanted for herself, and to have Joyce go behind her back like that was a low blow, and I bet Joyce would have never forgiven her mother if she'd done that.

There's also the thing at the end of S2, when she told Buffy that if she left the house, she wasn't to come back. I get that it was a shock, finding out that her daughter kills vampires as a side gig, but that was a little over the top. And then passing the blame onto Giles when Buffy does as she's told and doesn't come back is beyond ignorant. She knows she was the one in the wrong, she just doesn't want to accept it.

I think it's because Joyce was less than perfect, just like the rest of the cast, that we all love her so much.

 

[Foster]

I agree with what Lindsay said about the older you get the more inclined you are to like her.

I like Joyce but I think she can be the Queen of Wrong Moves sometimes which has me rolling my eyes in frustration. I think I kinda see her in the way I see my own Mother- love her, think she's a laugh, talk easily with her but there are just somedays where I'm like 'argh!' and just don't have the energy for her. It's the same with Joyce- sometimes I'll watch an ep and be like 'Joyce is cool' (mostly in School Hard and Band Candy) and othertimes when I'm thinking 'Ee, quiet woman!' (In Bad Eggs when she keeps regrounding Buffy. I mean that scene when she catches Buffy in her room. Beyond being in her clothes- which a lot of teens are up late in their rooms- there's no evidence to prompt her to ground her. It's like the teen/mother version of a police search without probable cause or whatever the term is). Also she got me frustrated in The Prom when she goes to see Angel. I mean c'mon Mother's are concerned yeah, but when your daughter's eighteen....butt out. I mean if Buffy had found out she'd done that I so suspect all hell would have broken loose. And then some.

So I guess it just depends on the day. But I don't think I ever dislike her- Kristine's too enjoyable to watch. Kinda like Molly Shannon.

 

[saturn5]

What I like about the Summers family is that they're real, they're not some twee hollywood ideal, they're all flawed and they're all realistic and the love between them is overwhelmingly and palpable

 

[hannahfngrl26]

I like her. I can't say I love her but I don't have a problem with her either. But I think she never accepted Buffy being a slayer, and sometimes her reactions were fast, as her words. And the thing I hate the most, is when she went to Angel in The Prom, that just wasn't her place.

I have to disagree here. As much as I love Bangel Joyce had every right to approach Angel. She was merely looking out for her daughters best interest. Not that I agree with the outcome but I know my mother would have done the same thing for me.

I find Joyce a delight. I loved how her character matured through out the seasons and I have to say that her passing away was very hard for me.

 

[ubi4soft]

Joyce was a cool mom. She acted with the best interest for her daughter(s) and she was a single working mother. Just think about how many times she washed blood/slime from Buffy's clothes, or buying new ones, or made repairs after destruction of her home. These are little things we as children consider them automatically deserved without thinking of parents sacrifices. She was so happy for Buffy's great scores at the tests thinking she will have a chance to good education.

EDIT. Because Joss wanted to kill her, it was a good thing that her death was a natural one.

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

I have to disagree here. As much as I love Bangel Joyce had every right to approach Angel. She was merely looking out for her daughters best interest. Not that I agree with the outcome but I know my mother would have done the same thing for me.

I find Joyce a delight. I loved how her character matured through out the seasons and I have to say that her passing away was very hard for me.

Well that is the problem, my mom would did exactly same thing for me, but I don't want her to do that. That was Buffy's life. Buffy's love. Buffy's choice. Not her's. She meant well. She did what she thought was the best. Maybe it was. If my mom did that to me, I don't know if I would ever forgive her that. I would just like to see Buffy's reaction that thay if she found out that Joyce was there.

 

[hannahfngrl26]

I guess the first thing I would ask you is how old you are. I know that at 16 I definitely did not make the best relationship decisions. Usually at that age if your mom doesnt like your boyfriend there generally is a pretty good reason. Now bear in mind I am not saying this is always the case but generally your mom would have more life experience and be able to tell a healthy situation from one that is not. That is all I am saying. Now if Buffy had the maturity level of an adult at the time I think there is something to be said for that but the reality is she did not. And bear in mind that I say all of this being a truly devout bangel shipper.

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

I'm 16. I'm with my boyfriend, it will be 11 months later this month. I can't say she doesn't like him because we never really talk about him, but I know her and my dad would like that I have someone who already knows what are they going to do in life, and someone younger then him. He is 19, he is in college, but he is.. well free spirited. My mother and father are together since they were 16 years old, so what she had.. one serious boyfriend? And that's my dad. Probably I'm more experienced then she was in my age. My mom is mature and she knows a lot of things, and in the half of them she is right.. but when it comes to the things like my future job or love or whatever I would like to make that decision myself. I would like to decide when it's time to let some people go. And Buffy had to do the same. Joyce pushed him. And in my book, that is not ok.

 

[hannahfngrl26]

I am excited to hear about your parents. They are certainly the exception and not the rule. Its nice to see that sometimes that situaiton works out. I cant relate because I dated the same guy starting at 14 years old, married at 19 and divorced by 23. Good times.

 

[Professor Walsh]

Oooh, I love reading this thread. One of the things I enjoy so much about this forum is how we are so many people of different backgrounds and ages discussing on an even keel.

The older my own two kids get (a toddler and a pre-schooler, these days), the more I enjoy watching Joyce. She made a few choices I distinctly disapprove of, but on the whole I love the way she always strives to be the best mother she can be without loosing herself.

As for her talking to Angel in "The Prom", I watched that episode a couple a weeks ago for the first time in ages. I had actually forgotten all about that until Scobro mentioned it in a thread. As to wether it was her place or not ... My inner jury is still out on that one, but I'm leaning towards "yes".

Princessbuffy, it's sweet to hear about your parents. Mine split up when I was nine, and I've seen rather a lot of turbulent relationships around me. I suppose that explains a bit of the different viewpoints you and I have on love.