He eventually does all of those things but he just found out in this scene it’s supposed to be raw just like Joyce reacting badly when she first learns about Buffy being the Slayer. I honestly think that the scene would have been poorly written if everyone including Giles was perfectly understanding. Why should he immediately trust her? She has been lying and sneaking around for the past several episodes and she was discovered passionately kissing him.
I think she needs to be reminded because she’s playing with fire. I also think that Buffy messes up like everyone else. This is a big big mess up. Adults/Mentors/Parents are allowed to express hurt and anger it’s part of their job. He would be a pretty poor parental figure if he didn’t say these things.
There's a difference between criticizing a character's actions and saying the scene should be written differently; it
would be a poorly written scene if no one reacted badly, and Buffy
did need to hear what was said. The writing is perfect. Giles reacting poorly is what had to happen for this scene to work. But it is still an example of Giles reacting poorly, and I think it's fair to talk about what's wrong with it and how he could have reacted better without that being the same as "this should have happened in the episode instead."
Everyone in this scene seemed, at least to me, to be more concerned about themselves than about Buffy. They were only concerned about her in the sense that they were concerned she would do something stupid that would get
them hurt. They don't take into account that when Angel lost his soul he set out to ruin her life for his own amusement, that he was stalking her (and leaving evidence in her room so she would know he had been there), and then there's the added emotional trauma of feeling like she caused all of it by having sex with him & the aftermath of having to kill him. Buffy has been hurt by him, too, and nobody seems to take into account that he could hurt her again. Giles does this, too. Giles, as the adult, is supposed to look out for Buffy, and he instead talks about himself. I'm not dismissing his trauma or even saying it was wrong for him to bring it up, but to throw it in her face like that without once worrying about her is incredibly cruel. His tone is harsh, he claims she has no respect for him at all, and doesn't acknowledge her feelings or trauma at all. This is good writing. This is interesting writing. This is a bad response from him as The Adult in this situation.
Completely agree it's an amazingly well written scene, every character is so very much themselves and the whole thing is beautifully played. My issues are not with the writing or the acting or the characters. I don't really have an issue, it's simply for me Giles comes off as cruel and not the loving father everyone else seems to think him. It's a disagreement about the meaning of his words and actions. If Whedon/Petrie meant Giles to appear the loving father, then I've totally misread the scene, but even that isn't important. We may all read something different into every scene.
I don't think this scene contradicts the idea of Giles as a father figure, though. Fathers get upset, fathers get angry, fathers react badly when their kids keep things from them. He clearly is protective of her. He also is sometimes very bad at expressing his concern or disappointment in a way that doesn't completely ignore her feelings. I think he can be a loving father figure and also have moments where he's thoughtless and sometimes even outright mean, because he isn't a
perfect father figure. I think we're supposed to see his actions here as motivated by concern, but his own feelings about Angel are making it hard for him to even consider Buffy's point of view. He's biased against Angel, and she's biased towards Angel, and instead of meeting in the middle and talking things out, it becomes a complete mess that ends in a lot of really hurtful words being exchanged. Families are just like that sometimes.
