Life Question

[Cohen]

Okay, question here. I've recently come to terms with the fact that while I do love women, and would greatly appreciate marrying a woman one day, and having kids with her... I also am attracted to men. Aka, bisexual. And I've started seeing this dude. And I like this dude. A lot. I didn't mean to. I was just curious and wanted to explore this curiosity, and then before we could meet, I started chattin with him, and before you know it, I'm in his truck in the parking lot at MY apartment complex (roommates dont know about me) and fallin for him. And we've spent a lot of time together since. And now I have trouble balancing the missing him with the few times I get to see him (his job is from 5pm-5am).

So.. how do you not let missing someone and wanting to be with them all the time not stress you out?

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

When you miss someone a lot, the feeling is better when you finally see them. In the meantime you can phone them, or chat with them online. When I miss someone I try to concentrate on something else, and spend time with my friends. And remember, the minute you see that guy, that feeling is going to be awesome, 100% 🙂

 

[Professor Walsh]

So.. how do you not let missing someone and wanting to be with them all the time not stress you out?

Enjoy the missing him. Go on with your life. Don't get too caught up in what you don't have at just that moment. Just allow the feeling to hum a little in the back of your mind, reminding you of him. And if you like having music in the background, make yourself a playlist with tracs that remind you of him. Most of all, just enjoy that feeling of falling in love. It's rough, it's shocking, it can be painful, I've always found it a bit scary, but it's also very, very nice.

Oh, and don't wait too long before introducing him to your flatmates.

 

[Cohen]

Oh, and don't wait too long before introducing him to your flatmates.

eh.. probably not gonna happen. im only roomin with them until the end of the year in april, and then probably never see them again and i'm one of those who like to keep private matters private, and i know one roommate in particular who wouldnt heed that rule so..

 

[BuffyElevated]

Honestly? Make yourself busy so you have other things to do that agonize over missing them so much. If you have a hobby, dive into that until you can talk to them or see them again.

 

[Megalita]

Hello fellow bisexual~!

I think the best thing to do is just kept busy -- do schoolwork, hang out with your friends, take a bath, read a book, hobbies, etc. I used to be in a long distance relationship a few years ago and it was hard, but I found things to do. Plus, whenever I saw her, I was very appreciative of her since we were away from each other so long (it really makes you not take any time spent together for granted!)

Also, cute little texts or phone calls during the day might help!

 

[theroyalgoat]

I agree with the above advice as far as keeping yourself busy, and I just want to offer a little more. Don't obsess. Because nothing ruins new relationship quicker than the super intense "I've been thinking about you all day" stuff that always comes when you spend all day thinking about someone and then finally get to see them. Especially with us men. Hell I just had a guy I've been seeing for less than a week tell me he loves me after gradually getting more and more intense. I'm going to avoid him for a few days and if he hasn't calmed down a tad then it's over. The missing part is really sweet and annoying when you're going through it, enjoy it as much as you can and just keep it chill.

oh and I'd be careful of over doing the during the day texts too...it's fun a few times throughout the day, but give him a chance to miss you too.

 

[Cohen]

Yeah, I've been trying to balance the missing him and seeing him. Its getting easier to deal with. It's just all new. Havent had a serious relationship in.. well, ever, really. But i love him, so I'm dealing. The hardest part is having to leave whenever I get to spend time with him, ya know? And I'm trying to not obsess. I know obsessing kills relationships faster than anything. But thanks guys. You rock.

 

[Harley]

I remember when Al used to talk to you about being gay and you were so NOT. Interesting development if I do say so myself...

 

[Cohen]

eh.. probably not gonna happen. im only roomin with them until the end of the year in april, and then probably never see them again and i'm one of those who like to keep private matters private, and i know one roommate in particular who wouldnt heed that rule so..

Actually, i did tell them. And they're cool with it. which was amazing. and because they were so cool with it, and cool with me, i felt comfortable enough to tell me sister, brother-in-law, and mom. And my mom cried, but i expected that. but i think she'll get used to it and accept it eventually. its such a relief to have my close friends and family accepting.

 

[Cohen]

By the way, this past month and a half with this dude? best relationship I've ever been in. okay, so i've only been in one other, that crashed and burned. but the way we are with each other is a hell of a lot better than i was with my past relationship. and i've gotten used to not seeing him all the time. and i've had to control my texting, but i'm gettin used to it. haha. I really have fallen in love with him, and at least for the near future, I see myself with him for awhile. Isn't life grand when it throws you a nice, big bone?! 😀