Long Distance Relationships

SinisterPledge

SinisterPledge

Shipping Lander!
Joined
May 22, 2012
Messages
305
Location
In a lucid dream.
Hey guys!

Sorry for my absence, I've had a lot on my mind with a new job and a new girl. So anyway, I met this girl online, and we've really been getting closer to each other. It didn't happen fast, but it has been built up over a longer time, so it feels like it could get very serious.

Anyways, she lives in Wales and I'm in Sweden. It's not THAT far but still...So I'm asking you guys if you have any tips and stuff for long distance relationships? Don't tell me it doesn't work because I will give it a try.


Thanks! ^^
 
First off, don't worry too much about the long distance, I've done it first hand and it's very much possible. It all depends on the person. I think it's important that if you're going to be long distance, that you set up some "rules" (I guess we can call them that) as to what each of you want. For example, are you two going to be exclusive? Which is probably the bigger and harder question for a long distance couple. How often do you plan on seeing each other? Should you both alternate the visits to make it fair, or is it easier for one person to move around.

With the age of internet, there really is no reasons to not keep in contact, so communication shouldn't be much of a problem.

Also, just to give you some hope, one of my friend's parents live in different countries and they have been doing so for 20+ years. Her dad is Mexican and her mom Canadian, and they've tried moving countries to be together, but each preferred their own. They are still happily married and see each other a few weeks a year, and it works out for them.
 
I've had two long distance relationships. One was a guy that I met while he was on holiday in Perth from Adelaide. We spent a night together and exchanged numbers and facebooks and kept in contact. We both realised that we both really liked each other despite our reservations about long distance relationships. I visited him once and he eventually decided he was moving to Perth. So we were long distance for about 2 or 3 months, then together in Perth for about 4-6 weeks or so? He broke up with me via text and obviously it didn't work out, but it had nothing to do with long distance.

Also had a soldier boyfriend in Afghanistan and we were very successfully and happily holding down a long distance relationship. We spoke every night on the phone and sent each other little care packages very regularly. If he was out of contact for any more than a day he would arrange for flowers and presents to show up for me to keep me from missing him. I think it was important for us to remember to be completely honest with each other. Especially when I was having boozy nights out. Also you have to completely trust the other person. This relationship was the best I've ever had and the happiest I've ever been so try it! Don't be scared of the long distance.
 
Blaze
Blaze
[No message]
Bluebird
Bluebird
[No message]
As an Army wife, I can second what Cait was talking about with Afghanistan... My husband leaves for a year at a time sometimes, and all you can do is talk when you can and find little ways to keep your love alive. If you really care about someone, you will make it work, regardless of distance. I've been married for a very long time, but when I first met my now-husband, we lived in different states, an hour and a half away from each other. Back then all we had was AIM to talk on (because long distance phone calls were EXPENSIVE and I didn't own a cell phone), so we would get online and chat for hours. We spent as many weekends as we could with each other, and after only 4 months together we were married.

Honestly, I think that all those chats we did were an awesome thing because it allowed us to talk about anything and everything without feeling the pressure of face-to-face conversation. I have always felt like people open up more on the 'Net 'cause they don't have to watch a person's reaction to what they say, so they feel less pressure of rejection. And I think this was true for both of us...

These days you have Skype, Facebook, texting... There are SO many ways to keep in touch if you really want to make it work. And don't underestimate the power of a good old-fashioned love letter in the mail... When he was deployed, he couldn't always get online, so I sent love letters and LOTS of care packages with cute themes to let him know we were thinking of him. You just have to get creative... I LOVE getting mail, and nothing makes a girl melt more than getting a love letter from her man in the mail. Romance is not dead. 😉
 
Taake
Taake
Aw, romance is not dead :heart:
I've been in a long distance relationship for 5 years now, I'm in the UK and she lives in Canada. Hopefully we'll be getting something together next year as far as moving to Canada etc.

The main thing is trust, you have to trust that when they are going out for example, that they aren't doing anything with anyone etc, or when they say they are going with a 'friend' that it's actually a friend! lol.

Try to talk as much as possible too, me and my girlfriend speak every night on Skype, even though she works and I do,plus the time difference, but we still manage even if it's just for 10/20 minutes a day.

If you like the person enough,and they feel the same about you, and you can cope with not being with each other every night etc, then it can work, and it'll be worth it.
 
DNelly
DNelly
My thoughts exactly!
One of my friends is from here (Canada) and his girlfriend is japanese. They regularly make the trip to go see each other and they stay together for a while when they can. He stays with her family when they go to Japan and she stays with his when she comes here. They've been together for a few years (4-5 I think) and I'm pretty sure they'll get married eventually because even on pictures you can see how much they love each other.

If you really love each other, you'll be able to work it out. 😉
 
It's worth it, communication is key though. find as many ways to communicate as possible, skype, phone if possible, there's a few apps you can use that you can text and send photos through. I find also that having a plan to met up helps, I've just come back from America and am already planning the next trip over, knowing how long I have to wait to see him helps.

plan things that you can do together (while apart) whether it be games, quizzes, movie nights or even watching buffy together! Just because you're apart distance wise it doesn't mean you can't do things together

Goodluck
 
Blaze
Blaze
[No message]
The movie night idea by [MENTION=8885]nightshade[/MENTION] is great! I've actually been doing that for a while with my friend. We've known each other for 11 years but now live 7h away from each other, so we'll go on skype or facebook, and set up a movie and we both start it at the same time. It's a good way of turning your every day activity into a "date". Every time you watch a show, or watch a movie, you can simply asked the person to join you if possible (me and my friend use netflix so it's easy to get the same movie playing).
 
Hey!

Thanks everyone for your replies! Gave me lots of ideas and motivation! 🙂
There are a lot of factors that makes communication hard at the moment, but I know in time we'll make it work!


You're all great! 🙂
 
All relationships needs to be worked on if it's going to get anywhere. If that's what one wants. Some may be more than happy just to have "fun". No, not only talking about sex. Kind of difficult considering the distance. Glad to hear that the previous answers have gotten you motivated. If one gives up on a possible relationship before it starts due to relationship it probably hadn't worked out anyway. Now people are different but for myself I'd like to say not to stress things. Especially in the beginning you'll probably want to be together all the time and the distance suck. No point denying that. What you need do decide/feel is if that pain is worth it. It probably is but up to everyone to decide for themselves. Yes, all relationships well eventually cause some "pain" but here you're aware of it from the beginning. Although... Time apart can be a good thing too in some ways. Everyone need some "me" time.

My long distance relationship (Sweden - Scotland) ended some years ago. I would never blame it on the distance though even if definitely didn't make things easier.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom