Looks or personality – what's more important?

[Chosen Enemy]

Please be honest when you answer.

What's more important to you in someone, looks or personality? And what do you think about those who think differently than you?
Do you think the world is too superficial?

 

[LizzieRainbow]

For me it is all personality. My boyfriends have never been gorgeous and im not the best looking person in the world but personality always wins for me. (not that i don't appreciate looking at a good looking man lol)

I think the world is becoming very superficial now, loads of people only give someone a chance to show their personalities after looking at them and making sure they are pretty enough first.

 

[Skanky Vamp]

Looks, of course. You can have the best personality but if you are a chick with a hairy upper lip and a unibrow then personality just ain't gunna cut it.

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

Looks. Maybe that's the reason why I'm still single, but I need to be physically attracted to someone or I just couldn't be physical with them.
On the bright side, guys I find attractive are not neccessarily attractive to other women, so I think based on this attraction thing almost everyone can find someone who finds them attractive.
Of course if somebody has no personality and is just a bad person, nothing long term is gonna come out of that. But I do fully believe that we are biological beings, and as such the first thing we react to is looks. Actually, I believe attraction is all instinct. Someone can have the best personality, but if there's not this attraction by instinct you can become friends - not more.

 

[brinkster130]

Ultimately personality matters the most; but honestly, looks do count for a lot. Sometimes a persons looks can be the thing that will keep you from getting to know them. Its sad but we do live in a pretty superficial world that places high value on external beauty.

 

[November]

Well both would be ideal... but if I had to choose one over the other I would go for personality. I wouldn't want to be with a cardboard cut out no matter how good they look. I need someone thats going to entertain me and keep me interested.

 

[Wishing Oceans]

I think that they're both important. On the Looks side, though, it's really not that hard imo. I think that anyone who puts some effort in can look good. And, of course, if you really like someone, I'm sure that you'd find them attractive - even if you didn't think so before you got to know them.

 

[prophecygrrl]

Maybe it's just my age group, but it feels like there's lots of pretty people and not enough pretty personalities to match. I could never be with someone who's a jerk, or who doesn't care about the things I care about. But looks? Of course I care a fair amount, but honestly, it's so much more important to me for someone's personality to just be compatible with mine. Especially cause I think I'm difficult to put up with, lol. 😀

 

[Ollehh]

Looks. That's what I notice first anyway, someone may have a great personality, but if I'm not attracted to them then it's just not gonna work out. Looks draw me in, but if they have a horrible personality then it's definitely not gonna work out. I need a nice balance of both.

 

[November]

Scobro agrees: Why's that damn? It's not wrong. Its human nature. You should not base your decision ON looks alone, but they deffo matter.

Not what I meant, that just counts me out for most people hahaha

 

[Ms.Trick]

I personally mostly pay attention to someone's attitude. It's like a mix, a bit of looks and a bit of personality.
I realized that not such a long time ago, when a friend was asking me "Who is...?" (a guy in the class) and I said "It's the guy who always looks tired". Then another friend said "Oh, is that the guy who has more acne than I do?" and then we started talking about people in the class. The girls were paying attention to details like clothes or acne or lips. And when they were talking about it, I just wasn't seeing those things. When you say a name, I can say "This one has always sparkly eyes like he was going to tell some joke" (but I can't tell the colour of the eyes). I can say "This one speaks and moves like Marshall in HIMYM". When they said a name, they thought about some physical details I just never paid attention to. That's when I started realizing that your attitude is what determines if I like or not or if I just don't care.
Some people are not really seen as pretty but I see them as gorgeous because of their attitude. Some also have an attitude that scares me a bit.
So yeah, attitude is what I really pay attention to.


About the looks, when I do pay attention to it, it's always bad: if I think a boy is ubercute, I can't speak cleverly to him. And I already happened to try to change a bit to be more like what the guy liked. But it's hard to not be natural, so I quickly become a bit of myself again, but I have that nasty tendency to change my attitude when I think a boy is cute. I just can't help it. Which is why my boyfriend will probably be someone I didn't find ubercute at first. Because with those, I'm 100% natural and it's so much more fun! And after a while, you discover that that guy you were not attracted to has his cute little habits and it's his personnality which makes him awesome.


And last year, when my "awesome" personality was just not enough for the boy I stupidly fell in love with, I wished I became superhot during the holidays, and that I was suddenly becoming the girl every boy falls for (silly, right?). And then I thought "That would be a real shame if I finally had a boyfriend after becoming a hottie. Does that mean looks is really that important?"
But I didn't became a hottie so I couldn't really test if I would have more success.
Now I'm more and more feminine in my style, but it's not to please the boys, it's to feel good in my own skin. And it works! I do feel good with myself. And I'm not going to change anymore for anyone, nope sir!

And surprisingly, the world is not that superficial. It happened a few times that I go to the nearest Mcdo with my mum, with a large sweat, the first skirt I found, tights, biker boots, with my hair which looks like a bird nest, with no make up at all, with my glasses on because I was to lazy to put my contacts, and have guys checking me out and waiters blushing and smile shyly when I order. It always makes me want to say "Honey, thank you for blushing in front of my Neanderthal me :heart:"



I'm kind of tired so my text maybe doesn't make a lot of sense, and I'm not even sure I answered the question but that's all I had to say, I think 😀

 

[PrincessBuffy16]

Personality. You can look like the most perfect man in the world, but without good personality, you're nothing. I could never be with someone who is the total contradiction of what I'm looking for just because they're cute.

How do they say, beauty gets attention but personality captures the heart?

 

[Doppelgang]

I agree with the above point about how a persons attitude can make them more attractive, rather than just looks on their own or personality on its own. I think that a relationship needs an initial physical attraction, but without compatible personalities it won't last for long, or if it does it will be a strained unhealthy relationship.

 

[sisterofmercy]

Personality. I wouldn't want people to judge me by my looks so I extend the same courtesy to them. People can look nice but be incredibly dull, not my cup of tea really.

 

[This Year's Girl]

Of course personality is the most important thing. I think very few people could stand to be friends with someone just because of their looks. And yeah, it is a cliche, but that doesn't make it less true: if you like someone that person becomes beautiful. And its not like there is something called objective beauty anyway, it's a subjective thing, so who could even decide what "good looks" really are?

 

[LoveLoveLovix]

For me, personality, but that's probably because I'm weird. I have NEVER been attracted to someone physically- like, looks wise. I will look at a person, and I'll say "oh, she's cute," or, "he's hot," but that's really based on ideals. Looks have never made me want to date someone. For a relationship, it's all in personality, because that's what keeps me up all night making me think about them and think about everything I'm going to say and how amazing they are, and their opinions.

 

[InsaneMystic]

Seeing as I'm near 100% exclusively using the internet for social contacts, I can safely say personality is much more important.

Of course, it all depends on what the goal for the sitch is. Some moments just call for eye candy (even if said candy's IQ is below room temperature and she eats babies for breakfast) - but that's noone to hang out with then, just to drool over. 😉

 

[arabella]

Looks at first...I agreed to go out with my now husband because he is megahot. Of course I stayed with him because he is the kindest, funniest, most loving man I have ever met. I can be shallow, but it worked for me this time.

My few of my previous relationships that were formed based on personality first didn't last because there was no attraction and people show the parts of their personality they think is most attractive at first...the dirt comes out later. Looks were a safer bet for me.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[EvilBuffy]

Looks are nice to you know, look at. But personality is it for me. I don't care how people look, if they are awesome, then they're freakin awesome. Bottom line is pretty people may be nice to look at, but being pretty doesn't mean the person is at all tolerable.

But looks in general (not beauty) matter some. Such as if someone looks like a creeper, that's going to make me turn away.

 

[white avenger]

Looks, unfortunately, is what immediately attracts most people's attention. Personality is what KEEPS their attention.

Hopefully.