Lurking Around The Boards

[Chosen Enemy]

I actually see David in a complete different light now, after finding out about his cheating. And it's not the cheating itself, it's the person who's behind it. A person that could cheat, can't be exactly a saint. I thought he was a good guy, but if he cheats his just had their baby wife... I can't look at him the same anymore.

 

[zobothehobo]

I actually see David in a complete different light now, after finding out about his cheating. And it's not the cheating itself, it's the person who's behind it. A person that could cheat, can't be exactly a saint. I thought he was a good guy, but if he cheats his just had their baby wife... I can't look at him the same anymore.

Same here. I tried to not let it bug me, but I find I don't want to watch interviews with him because I don't want to like the guy. I feel like when he's in interviews he feels to me like a good guy... funny and cool... but I feel like in reality, he's not because those people don't cheat ESPECIALLY right after their wife has had their baby.

 

[VisionGirl]

The cheating thing or the Season 8 thing? Because the chetaing thing I could see happening.

Yep, talking about season 8. I could care less about the cheating thing: I'm not his wife.

 

[white avenger]

I wouldn't be angry at Boreanaz about what Angel did in Season 8, and further, I would be really surprised if he even knew about it. I think that I read somewhere that he doesn't have any interest in either the Angel or Buffy comics, and he certainly doesn't have any say as to what the character does anymore like he probably did while the show was being televised.

 

[Goldilocks]

Okay, I am just gonna make it clear:
James, if you're here and if you read this, I just need you yo know; You are quite hot, I dream about you every second night, and you're body is sizzling hot.

 

[randiann]

Same here. I tried to not let it bug me, but I find I don't want to watch interviews with him because I don't want to like the guy. I feel like when he's in interviews he feels to me like a good guy... funny and cool... but I feel like in reality, he's not because those people don't cheat ESPECIALLY right after their wife has had their baby.

Sad thing is that those kind of people CAN cheat. That's what a lack of love or boredom or whatever it was can do to your marriage. Doesn't make it right, but good people do stupid things all the time. It doesn't make them horrible people, it's just that what they have done in itself is horrible. They know that. They have to live with it. It's the people who do something terrible (not to say cheating, but anything really vile) and who DON'T feel any remorse or regret that you have to watch out for. I don't judge him for what he did, because it's none of my business. What happens between a husband and wife has nothing to do with me and I'm not gonna dislike the guy because he has relationship issues.


I still wear my "I heart David Boreanaz" pin proudly on my shirt.

 

[Skytteflickan88]

GrrArghx agrees: Pretty sure VisionGirl's talking about the Season 8 thing. I don't know why DB would get "lynched" by other people for cheating when it has nothing to do with them...

I don't think it should turn personal either, I meant that it made more sense to lynch him about the cheating than what his character did. The cheating thing I can see happening for in case someone takes it too personally (maybe some members have had cheating husbands) but blaming someone for what a character does in a comic would be over the top. Like, over the stars, top.

---------- Post added at 08:44 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:33 AM ----------

Sad thing is that those kind of people CAN cheat. That's what a lack of love or boredom or whatever it was can do to your marriage. Doesn't make it right, but good people do stupid things all the time. It doesn't make them horrible people, it's just that what they have done in itself is horrible. They know that. They have to live with it. It's the people who do something terrible (not to say cheating, but anything really vile) and who DON'T feel any remorse or regret that you have to watch out for. I don't judge him for what he did, because it's none of my business. What happens between a husband and wife has nothing to do with me and I'm not gonna dislike the guy because he has relationship issues.


I still wear my "I heart David Boreanaz" pin proudly on my shirt.

Thing is, we don't know if he feels remorse or not. He could be cheating right now, covering up his tracks better. Maybe he's a good person that did something bad (hurting his wife and kids), or he's just a bad person. I don't know. I just know he did something bad (but I don't know how bad, cheating effects people differently. Maybe his wife is already over it.).

And not that I judge people that can care for a guy like that, but now I know more bad things about him than good, thus I have more bad feelings about him than good. If I knew more good things about him than bad, I might not dislike, maybe I wouldn't even care. But I can't stop caring for his wife and kids. If he had done something bad to strangers, not his family, maybe I'd care less.

I know it's not my business, and I'd probably keep my mouth shut around him and his family, but I can't turn of my heart. And my heart hurts when people get cheated on and when kids hurt because their father is a bad person (maybe the wife's evil and had it coming, I have no idea, but I can't imagine the kids got it coming).

My dad seems to be a saint compared to this guy, but I remember (relatively mild) bad childhood stuff with my father that scared me for life. I keep imagining that DB's kids go to sleep every night, crying because their mom's heart is broken and hey found out their dad isn't perfect.

Hopefully they don't know, or don't get what this is all about, but I keep imagining worst case senarios.

Sorry for the rant. I have parent issues. Hope no one took offense. I know no one is perfect, and that a cheater can be a good person.

 

[randiann]

Thing is, we don't know if he feels remorse or not. He could be cheating right now, covering up his tracks better. Maybe he's a good person that did something bad (hurting his wife and kids), or he's just a bad person. I don't know. I just know he did something bad (but I don't know how bad, cheating effects people differently. Maybe his wife is already over it.).

And not that I judge people that can care for a guy like that, but now I know more bad things about him than good, thus I have more bad feelings about him than good. If I knew more good things about him than bad, I might not dislike, maybe I wouldn't even care. But I can't stop caring for his wife and kids. If he had done something bad to strangers, not his family, maybe I'd care less.

But that's the thing is that nothing is black and white. Nothing is bad or good. It's not that simple. We don't know what's going on in his life, or why he made the decisions he did. Yes, it will affect his family. But that's none of our business.

I think we all have parent issues to an extent. Mine is that I am the offspring of two cheaters who did alot more than just mess around on each other. My parents were on and off from the time I was 10 till they finally divorced when I was 16. In effect, I became the parent out of necessity. During that time, they weren't always there for me and my little sis. But do I resent them or think they are bad people? No. I know my parents love me. I know life got crazy for awhile, and they let other things like partying take priority over their family, but I know in each of their different ways, they still care. They are still my parents, and the only pair I get. And however disfunctional our family is, it's still my family and I love them regardless.

I can't judge a person based on one decision they have made in their life. There's more to a person than just that 99% of the time. Are there some decisions that are completely unforgivable? Of course. But infidelity that doesn't involve me or my husband is not one of them, and it's not my place to say whether or not he's a bad person based on his private life.

 

[VisionGirl]

Wow, I'm sorry for even bringing up DB! I have no desire to get into this debate again, except to say that none of us have any idea what these actors do in their personal lives: none at all. We don't know them personally, we're not friends with them- they're actors who play beloved characters. We only know about DB's affair because it got broadcast by the unscrupulous mistress. For all we know, they could all be cheating adulterers.

 

[Skytteflickan88]

^^ Yeah, that's true. Maybe they're saints for 99.9999% of the time and we shouldn't judge them for the mistakes we hear about. Or they have corpses burried in their back yards.

We don't know. ;D

 

[Harley]

I was on a different forum that regularily had Buffy alum browsing. It was mostly writers. It wouldnt suprise me if they showed up here too. For the record, I think it would be extremely immature for anyone to hold what a character does against the actor.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Himiko]

Hmmm... if I found out that someone related to one of the shows was lurking around the boards then I might phrase my criticism more politely, or be a little more reluctant to post it, but that probably wouldn't last all that long, I think people would become accustomed to that person being around. There's enough criticism, largely constructive on the board, from what I can see, that anyone related to the show who would be annoyed or upset by it would probably have left by now.

I honestly don't think I'd feel offended, neccessarily. There are probably loads of members who've joined the boards, but never post, just read threads and lurk, or post very rarely. Any of them could be linked to the show, most of them aren't claiming otherwise 😛 If that makes any sense... Basically, if it transpired that someone on the forum was one of the writers/actors or whatever, and they simply hadn't told people their name or mentioned they were connected with the show, I see nothing to be offended about. I mean, at the end of the day, noone's required to share information, there's lots of people out on the internet who won't show anything more than their username- they don't talk about personal stuff. It's up to them, and anyone who's posted personal stories on a public forum have to accept that people who don't know them will be reading it. On the other hand, if someone's concocted an elaborate lie about their identity, and told me that was who they were, and I thought I knew them, I can see being a little angry- mostly because there is no obligation to share that information, they could simply have not disclosed anything about it and been done, no need to lie. But at the end of the day, that's the internet. We could all be lying, it's a risk you take when you don't meet people face to face. Hell, it's a risk when you do meet someone face to face.