~~Make me lol

S

Soulgasm

Brainzzz~~~
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weird thread...the usually lol gasm in this thread will be a stoic peice of rock...your challenge is to make me lol...use either a story...or a joke...or a comment...whatever...make me lol...

first one to do so...will get something...probably will get a made gasm laugh award or something...

so make me laugh...
 
nice try DTS...disinterested post almost got me to lol...like your oxy-moron angle...but...i'm stone in this thread...never going to break until the right time...
 
Soulgasm said:
nice try DTS...disinterested post almost got me to lol...
Click to expand...

Damn it! *Begins to think of another way to try and make you laugh*
 
This one time I was hanging out with erin and corry at school(this is when i was 18). When the day was over erins dad came to pick her up. we decided to go with to see erins mom at work(she works at mijers). so we go find her in her section and she says she can go on break and hang out with us. so she starts leading us to the food cort and she must have thought erins dad was behind her but he wasnt i was. so when she held out her hand behind her to hold his hand i was the only one there so i thought she wanted to hold my hand so i grabed her hand and we walked for like 5 isles befor she turned around and kinda freeked out. corry erin and erins dad were standing behind us busting a gut.
 
Ok this will probably get deleted but here goes!!

Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a
flower shop where the redhead saw her boyfriend buying flowers. Red sighed and said, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again." The blonde
looked quizzically at her and said, "You don't like getting flowers from
your boyfriend?" The redhead said, "I love getting flowers, but he always
has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air."

The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?" 😀
 
Ol' 'Gasm must be made of stone if he didn't LOL at Akasha's joke - politically incorrect tho' it was 😉
 
Hehe glad u all liked it...so come on Gasm do i get an award pleeeaaasssse 😀
Here's another for you..


Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware program, Party Girl 2.1, which I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I then upgraded to Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this product soon has to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2002.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge.

These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShopBrowser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express, which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources.

These conflicts with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money files before uninstalling itself.
 
good try kasha and cycloptic x...but...i've always been immune to blonde jokes....even though that was a good one...

geez c x...that must've been hella akward...i would've just ran away...
 
So, the other day I was in the store and I saw a naval orange. Then I looked at my own naval, thinking "This naval orange doesn't really look like a naval, so why is it called a naval orange?"

But then I put some lint in it and thought "Well, maybe..."

~Kindred
 
lol well we have canned food drives for the homeless at my school of course and me being stupid said "shouldnt we be getting them can openers too?" cause they cant open cans if they dont have can openers lol yea i know that is not that funny but i tried!
 
Ok this made me smile at least...might not make you lol though 😀

A Few Zen Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously:

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 Percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese in the trap.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what
happened.
 
Nah i thought it was funny too...

this one time(i was like 12-14) i was having a party at my house(i don't remember why) and we had helium balloons. well being young and kinda a goof ball i thought making my voice high with helium was funny and if you used more helium it would be even better. so i took a deep breath from the balloon and held it then let it out and took two more and held them. then i ran up to my mom and said "Hay mom, wanna here some thing funny..." and then passed out.
 
Rene: makes me smile.

One eyed xander: lol,poor you

Ok this probly isnt funny just me making an ass of myself.lol. anyway, it was a rainy day and i was walking down the stairs to my classroom and my friend pushed me an ran so i ran after him and i pushed open the doors and kept chasing him. but the whole bottom area was like fludded and i didnt see it, and ran and sliped and and fell right on my back and i was saturated in water, and my friend seemed to think it was funny because i made a weird sound like...HU.lol. its not that funny, but anyway 🙂
 
wicca...were you all right??...that must've falken hurt...

nice try els...that would've got me about 15 years ago..
 
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