Marriage? yay or nay?

M

mire

procrastinator at work.
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i'm helping my friend on her psicology essay, so ok, i dunno bout other places, but on my country on the last decade the mrriege numbers have been decresing a lot, as oposite to the divorce numbers, and also the average age that people get married also droped to the erly thirtys.
so my point on all of this is, what's your view on marrige? where you live is it happening the same phenomena? and why do you think people don't want to marry anymore or at leats not as young?
 
Hmm...less straight people are getting married, and yet more gay people want to get married.

Wouldn't it be good for a yuk if in the future marriage turns into something only gay people do, and then farther into the future than that the straight people decide they want to get married too, but the gay people won't let them, because it would be messing with their traditional ways. (You know I'm just kidding, right?)
 
A
Amber Benson
Yea! I like that idea.... 'Cept I have straight friends... Meh...
Well, before, in say the 50's and earlier, it was expected that a young woman would marry a young man, most likely a friend of the family, but nowadays, women would rather high-paying careers, than marrying and having kids young. Even before then, most marriages were arranged marriages... I don't see marriage as a necessity anymore... Young people are thinking for themselves, and want a future more than a husband or wife... Go young people... 🙂

And that is SO true about gay people and "joining"... It's the urge to merge 😉
 
Personally I don't know if I want to get married. I was looking at my parent's marriage the other week and it seemed so...empty as so to speak. I just feel that marriages fizzle out as so to speak.
 
Hm, I almost don't know anyone (my age) who wants to get married, or "plans" to, some day in the future. Most people are like "why get married, you can just as well just live together why have a stupid ceremony in some church when you're not even religious" (yes I do know you don't have to get married in a church but still, it's of course associated with religion). But, I kinda like the idea of getting married, ad long as you do it in your own way and do it just 'cause you really want to.. I think it's kinda nice to have a ceremony and rings or whatever to celebrate the fact that you've found someone you want to (and believe you can) spend the rest of your life with. I don't believe in the whole "promis to spend the rest of my life with you"-thing, but intending to do so is romantic and strong and real in my opinion. So I kinda like marriage (although when I was younger I was kinda against it as well, 'cause of my parents who are divorced and stuff but.. not that's got little to do with anything, to me)...
 
I think that marriage habits are changing in the US. It has been noted that young people are getting married at an older age (closer to their thirties) and having families later. This is probably due to women in college and wanting careers. I do not think there is any problem with that.

I was married when I was 21. That's extremly young compared to the standard. But, most people are find with it, because I was with my husband for five years prior to getting married. The thing that most people are concerned about, is that we are starting a family so young. I'm 22, and will be 23 when my baby is born. So, we are considered a very young family.

It's all about everyone's opinion. But, it does seem that marriage is not as popular with younger people anymore.

Hope that helps you out.
 
I'm 24 and I am engaged to marry next year and I couldn't be happier. My fiancee and I have been together for 8 years already and we can't wait to start our family.

On the other hand though I have many friends who never want to get married, so like Feigenbaum said, it's all a matter of opinion.
 
I'm trying to come up with a nice little slogan that's anti-marriage, but all that I can think of is "Hell no we won't go" and don't think I can apply that one for marriage.

I'm all against marriage. To me it's nothing but a legal action to help make the economy easier. It's a business arrangement to some extent. If people want to get married go ahead, but it has nothing to do with love in my opinion. Don't get we wrong one day I might get married, but not for love, but legal reasons.

I think that there's a whole lot more of the marrying thing going on in the US than this side of the atlantic. At least in Sweden marrige isn't such a big thing, it's something most people do at least once in their life time, but it doesn't have to last for all of it. It's like riding a rollercoaster or something like that, you have to do it once, but really not such a big deal (ok the rc metaphor perhaps wasn't the best, but I think you get what I'm saying).
 
Just to put in a good word for marriage here's my $0.02.

Like Feigenbaum, I was married young...23, and Mrs. D was 22. This is a bit misleading, since we had been together 5 yrs at that point! And at 20+ years later, I can say that marriage is definitely NOT about a business arrangement, JollyApe's opinion to the contrary. There is no way you can maintain a relationship for that period of time without deep feelings: committment, respect, love, desire. If that is so, then why all the acrimony surrounding divorces? If it was a "business" thing, you'd think the breakups would be, well, businesslike. Some are, but more are nasty, emotional rents in people's lives. Only deep feelings being damaged bring out that level of animosity. Sorry, it ain't about business, it's about love...

A quick word on statistics: The marriage/divorce rate is calculated this way...# of divorces divided by # of marriages. This is a spurrious way of deciding how many first marriages fail. Many of the marriages and divorces included in these numbers are second, third (or otherwise) marriages, and they are not separated out. This leads the divorce rate for first marriages to look like it is worse than it really is...it is more like 35%, not the 50% widely reported...just a caveat for anyone doing research and looking at the stats!
 
w00t for kd!! It's so nice to hear a happily married person standing up for marriage! I really believe in marriage, as a life-long relationship based on love, trust, and mutual respect (for ANYone!). And since I'm only 19, never having been married, I always thought that was just me...being niave, but kd, you've just confirmed that it can work! Yay! Good to know!
 
Well, as a 22 year old who is nearing her fourth year of marriage, obviously I am for marriage.

I feel like alot of people don't want to marry young because they don't believe that they have enough world experience. They feel like they need to get around some more. With the right partner, there is no reason you can't do this together, unless your talking sexually, which is a whole different story and, in my opinion that much experience was never important to me.

I've learned many things in my years with my husband. I feel like we have grown together and that is important. Just the fact that we can-that neither one of us leaves the other in the dust is very important.

When I first married my husband I met a great deal if opposition from people who didn't know us very well. But, my answer was always this. I feel, in my heart, that I love this man. So, why go chasing some foolish dream of "experiencing the world" when I am HAPPY. How many people get to say they are truly happy?

If something goes wrong someday between me and Ismael, that's what will happen? But why risk my relationship by continuously pushing off the inevitable. I knew what I wanted from the very beginning and I have yet to be proved wrong.

So, definitely a marriage advocate 🙂
 
I don't know what I think about marriage. Or, if it feels right and you really wanna do it then sure, do it. I just have a hard time to picture myself in that situation, feels weird. But I don't totally exclude marriage forever, it just doesn't feel right now. But it might, in a few years or many years ahead.. you never know.
 
I'm all for marriage its a beautiful event where two people come together to become a true family. I myself love to wittness marriages in real life and watch them on t.v they are beautiful and when people actually create their own vowels its even better. I will also be joinning the Group of married people in about 2 years and i have to confess i cannot wait to plan the day. Call me old fashion but it is one of the biggest events in a girls life. Expecially if she gets to marry her prince charming, its the one day she is a princess.
 
I'm all for marriage, but then again I've been surrounded by wonderful, caring marriages all my life. It's hard for me to see the bad in marriage when I'm surrounded by the good. My boyfriend is very opposite of me in that aspect which causes some friction (a lot lately) between us.

I'm definitely an independent woman in many aspects, but I do want to share my life with someone on that level and if I don't, I know I'll still be happy.

I think some people feel they need to marry to complete themselves, but seriously marriage shouldn't even be an option unless you can feel complete by yourself.
 
I'm kind of at the opposite end of the spectrum to Cordelia because growing up i've been more used to seeing couples splitting up than staying together in a happy marriage. My parents were divorced (my dad twice actually), my auntie got divorced, my sister got divorced, my two best friends marriages both failed ... need i go on?

However, on the opposite side of the argument i know a number of couples who have been together for years, unmarried, and are as happy today as they have ever been.

Basically i'm not really against or for marriage. I don't think it matters anymore to be honest. The best idea, i think, is to go into a relationship without getting married and if you are still happy together after five or six years and you still want to make it more official then go ahead and get married. Seems like the better option than to get married too soon and have to go through the mess of a divorce once you realise you weren't meant to be together long term.
 
I've known two couples, both younger in age than someone of my parents generation who felt that they didn't want to go through with the marriage because of problems, but are still going through because so much is paid for.

I don't know what these people are thinking because the one divorce I've seen in my close circle of family and friends has cost way more than even a fairly extravagant wedding...
 
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