Question Marriage?

nightshade

Your grandfather is a cat
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Black Thorn
Are you married? If not do you want to get married? Do you think that marriages are a good thing or just a piece of paper?

Personally right now I have no intention of getting married, but who knows in the future that may change
 
I'm not married but I would like to get married in the future.

I think marriage is what you make of it. I think a lot of people get married without really appreciating what it means or how much effort it takes. For two people to want to spend the rest of their lives together and be crazy/brave enough to make that commitment, I think it is a beautiful thing. But I also think it is very hard and needs constant work.
 
Washburne
Washburne
[No message]
I've been married to a wonderful lady for almost thirty years, and it never ceases to amaze me that she has managed to put up with me and all of my quirks and idiosyncrasies for so long. I never really intended to get married, or even thought about it at all until I met her. Is marriage just a piece of paper? Maybe it is to some people, but I am definitely not one of them. Is marriage a good thing or a bad thing? Yes to both, depending on how you approach it, how you live it, and most importantly, who you share it with.

Plus, having a grandson named Spike is really cool.
 
I never want to get married. I don't think it's as important as it used to be as you can get the same legal rights over here if you co-habit with someone. I don't like the idea of being tied to someone forever, I definitely don't want to change my last name and I'd hate to be called somebody's 'wife' like they owned me. If I end up finding someone then they'd have to understand that marriage is not an option. Besides, I don't think it's the only way of showing someone how much you love them.

Each to their own obviously, but it's just not for me.
 
I'd love to get married one day but first I need to find a man that actually wants me for me, and that actually loves me for a change!
 
I definitely want to get married one day, ideally by the age of 25. That may be a long-shot, however, so... 😀
 
Wow, what a topic. Do you guys ever feel like the powers that be are really trying to talk to you?

Um... I think marriage can be a very beautiful thing. I'm really quite... I don't know if idealistic is the word...but I believe very strongly in love and companionship...I don't think we're meant to walk this world alone, but that doesn't necessarily mean we all have to couple up.... I guess I'm of two minds about this (and I'm going to try to make this rambling make some sense...here's hoping)

One part of me really likes the yin/yang idea...the pieces of a puzzle coming together, two halves making a whole...yadda yadda yadda.... you complete me.... etc... I really love the fairy tale aspect, "i never really heard music till I met you" thing... getting all swept away, I love every part of that....

and then, the other part of me really hates all of that... or that is to say feels like we're all enough on our own. we're already whole. already complete. we don't walk around as half people waiting for our other half....

for myself... I wish I had given myself more time to grow as an individual before I got married....but I am where I am and it is what it is.

acceptance.... I believe it's the answer to living in peace with oneself and with others, but I fight it all the time... still got lots of growing to do.

hope that wasn't too much information and it made some sense.
 
I've been married for 12 years. So yes I believe in marriage and yes I think it's a good thing and yes I think that it's more than just a piece of paper (I'm Catholic, it's actually a Sacrament for me). But I don't think marriage is for everybody, and that the decision to get married should be well thought out, not taken on a whim. I also think that anybody should be allowed to get married to whomever they want. 🙂 Marriage and family is wonderful, it's what I always wanted, but it is really hard work. There's a lot of compromise involved, a lot of forgiveness, but you also still have to retain your own self. It's easy to get lost in the other person & overdepend on them for your self-worth. In my case "The Schedule" (as I like to call it) is often in charge. With work and home and kids, I often feel like "The Schedule" is my Lord and Master, and that we live to obey it. Ugh. We sometimes lose the joy when we do that.
 
I am not married, but I am excited to get married in the future. I was one of those little girls who had their wedding planned when they were little. Obviously, noI am still quite excited
 
I don't want to get married, I don't think so. I don't see myself getting married. It's not that I don't believe in marriage or think people shouldn't get married, it's more personal. It's just not something for me. I also don't want a boyfriend, and that comes from the same place. I've tried the couple thing a few times, and I'm not fond of it. I like the "me" in my own relationship of me and me.

Also, I see that so many married couples get divorce. And I sometimes ask myself, why bother if there's such high chances it'll end up badly. I don't want to end up in a bad relationship. I know some couple make it, but I wouldn't want to try something that might affect my life so harshly. I just don't wanna get there. I don't want to wake up to a life with someone I have no connection left with. Wake up to a life I didn't want and regret it. With the decision of not getting married, there are less risks. If one day I want to get married, I will be able to, I alway can. But once you get married, you're stuck with a certain life that you choose for yourself, but not wisely.

Again, this is just me feelings this way. I'm not saying people shouldn't get married!
 
C
caritas08
[No message]
Married for almost 2 years... I love it. For me, making that commitment is a big responsibility. But it also is a declaration of your love and dedication to each other. There's always a chance things won't work as someone said before, but it's better to love and have lost yadda yadda 🙂. I think the reason for a lot of the failed marriages comes down to maturity. People jump into commitment without thinking, or don't put in the effort that a long term relationship demands. People grow apart, and it takes a great deal of work from both parties to prevent this. But it's totally possible, and totally awesome when someone can find that person they just click with. I love being married.

My biggest problem with marriage right now is that it is restricted from certain segments of the population in this country right now. As long as two consenting adults love each other, they should have the same rights I do.

Now I'll jump off my soapbox after doing my part to stir the pot...
 
Professor Walsh
Professor Walsh
My six-year-old told me that he does not want us to go on holiday to places where people can't marry whomever they want.
VisionGirl
VisionGirl
Love this whole post. :)
Joan the Vampire Slayer
Joan the Vampire Slayer
Agreed. I signed a petition saying that I wouldn't get married until everyone could.
IMO, Marriage is kinda like jail!!! It's different kind of slavery that people don't talk about in that way too much. Anyway, I could go on and on about how I don't believe in marriage. But no one would listen to me anyway. All I can say is, DON"T GET MARRIED!!!! It will be the WORST mistake of your life!!!!!!
 
S
sisterofmercy
So, you're not a fan then? :p
VisionGirl
VisionGirl
LMAO at sisterofmercy!
Joan the Vampire Slayer
Joan the Vampire Slayer
Sounds like you speak from experience.
I don't really have much of an opinion on marriage. I don't know if I would. Even though I'm in a relationship, I just think of being with someone for life as the same as marriage, even if it's not in the legal sense. I think everyone should be able to get married if that's what they want though.
 
I'm not married, I'm only 17. 😛 But I would like to get married in the future with the right person.

I don't think marriage is just a piece of paper, I think it's what shows you're really committed to be with each other for the rest of your lives. I mean, I'm sure there are old couples that have been together forever who aren't married, but if you're not married, you're not able to call them your husband/wife. 😀

You'd have to forever call them your girlfriend/boyfriend, and the fact that the word "friend" is in there makes it not as special.
 
VisionGirl
VisionGirl
Really interesting perspective!
I'm not married, but I'd like to one day. Not because I believe it's the right thing to do or because I don't believe two people can make a family without that piece of paper, but because I want to.
 
I am not married. I'd like to one day, but if I don't it wouldn't be the end of the world.

I strongly believe that marriage is what you make it. If you go into it thinking its just a piece of paper, questioning the commitment, or feeling like you are giving up you freedom then you are setting yourself up for disaster. You are allowing those things to become true.
 
IMO, Marriage is kinda like jail!!! It's different kind of slavery that people don't talk about in that way too much. Anyway, I could go on and on about how I don't believe in marriage. But no one would listen to me anyway. All I can say is, DON"T GET MARRIED!!!! It will be the WORST mistake of your life!!!!!!

Why?

Both my husband and I were quite happy to be not married, and "could consider doing [that] for the rest of [y]our life". When I got pregnant, though, it was important to my father that my child's father's rights were as protected as mine - should anything happen - so we started looking into the paperwork. At that point, getting married was the easy way to get things sorted, so we got married. A lovely little ceremony in Edinburgh with me 34 weeks pregnant and three friends who threw us a dinner party.

To me, marriage isn't jail. It isn't bliss, either, it just is the framework around our family. The real commitment to each other was deciding to have children. The commitment we both have to making a family work is what makes us find the way back to each other when hot tempers and different hobbies sometimes causes us to drift apart.
 
VisionGirl
VisionGirl
Sweet story. :)
I've been married for 5 years. Married my best friend from high school.

Marriage isn't that big of a deal to me but my husband's father is a pastor. So it was important to my husband and his family.

I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him either way. Not to say that it hasn't been difficult. The dude is like, chronically lazy but he puts up with me.

It's seriously not easy to be in a relationship with someone like me. I'm totally ruled by when I feel the need to create and can spend days in my studio, pretty much dead to the world. Also I'm pretty much a walking medical problem. 😀 And he deals with that too.

I guess what I mean to get to here, is that marriage isn't a big deal to me but I am glad that I did it. I still get a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest when I call him my husband. 😛
 
My biggest problem with marriage right now is that it is restricted from certain segments of the population in this country right now. As long as two consenting adults love each other, they should have the same rights I do.

Now I'll jump off my soapbox after doing my part to stir the pot...

Stir away!! That pot needs constant stirring. 🙂
 
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