Marriage

[Blair]

I dunno why they have to rub the muff love in our faces over every single media platform they know of. The hetro friends keep it on the DL so they dont have to invite more people.

I think I prefer your hetro friends over mine. They're the ones who usually shove it down my throat on Facebook. Gets kinda gross after a while.

One thing I've seen on this thread from a few people is the "it's just a piece of paper/marriage doesn't have any benefit, etc".
To be fair, I don't what the laws are outside of Australia, but in Australia there are a fair few extra rights you get from being married rather than a defacto relationship. Basically being married makes things a lot easier if your spouse passes away and going over the next of kin situation.. Makes life tough if you wanna plan a funeral for your dead lover.
Then there's the whole, if you try to get pregnant via IVF, the person who isn't carrying the child has to prove that they are in a relationship, whereas if you're married, that's no question.
I had a list of the differences written down somewhere, those are the first few off the top of my head. I think there was something to do with tax breaks and such on the list.
But my point being, it's not just a piece of paper.

 

[sk]

Yeah, I think there is some legal benefits that is handy when you get married. Especially if you have kids.
Not sure about the details but as I understand it's just an easy way to arrange those thing even if you also can do by writing a will or whatever.

I could get married for those reason. I like doing things the easiest way.
Never a church wedding though. Absolutely not. Just sign the paper and get it over with.

Guess I can see and understand the joy of having a life partner, someone to spend your life with, even if I don't look for that myself.
What I don't really understand is a need to make it "official". This grand gesture to show that you belong to each other.
Why is that necessary? Why not just enjoy life together as it is? It just feels like added pressure to me. So I say no thanks to a wedding.

/SK

 

[November]

Im not gona get into another same sex marriage debate - I will say that there is very little difference between what my gay married friends have now rights wise due to the way the lawyers drew up their unions.

The next of kin issue is void when a legal will is draw up. Yes tax breaks are the big one but many families miss our on these benefits too, this is more related to income than sexuality. Defacto couples (of any sex) on welfare lose payments where as married families get tax breaks. I would rather see marriage scrapped and a union by law brought in across the board. Some Aboriginal and disabled people are told they do not have the mental capacity to love or marry. Disabled women are still sterilised in this country. Even when the gay marraige laws are passed, we are a LONG way from equality for all.

When it comes to IVF children - this is another debate. Proof of parentage applies to hetro too in this situation, also adoption of step children - which is not done here as much as the US (and should be!). "Proof" is not harder to do than proof of no job to be eligable for welfare. Its certainly easier than proof of disability. The people I know are on the richer side of the scale so hard zero issue getting around these things with a lawyer.

I saw wedding photos on fb of the snogging couple in front of a ute doing a burn out the other month. Other wedding photos are spammed til the kids arrive. I do not like the culture (?) Of it all. Wedding photography is massive business. I wonder how their stylised pictures and poses will age. Classy is rare now... And none of them should have worn white!!
 
Ugh I just woke up, this is why I didnt do fb first thing. Makes me grouchy! Oh well, off to hugs some rabbits and plants some veggies.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

In the U.S., there are about 1100 statutes covering marriage. They involve taxation, adoption, succession, death benefits, hospital visitation, right to sign off on "pulling the plug" in hospital cases, welfare benefits, wills, power of attorney and a bunch of other things that may never be of interest in day-to-day living but are necessary in the cases where major changes occur. To accommodate gay marriage, some laws may change simply by redefinition of the word "spouse" but others will have to be modified explicitly. LGBT organizations should get a lawyer to look over the legal landscape and provide proposed laws to ensure marriage equality is really equality.

There were eleven people at our wedding - parents on both sides, best man and wife, maid of humour and boyfriend, me and the bride and of course, the minister.

When my daughter got married, the costs of the wedding and honeymoon in Jamaica were budgeted at $10,000 and they came in on budget. Some friends of ours were on a reality show called "Rich Bride, Poor Bride" and they spent $95,000 on the wedding. That could have been the down payment on a house! They are still living with the parents.

 

[Blair]

Im not gona get into another same sex marriage debate - I will say that there is very little difference between what my gay married friends have now rights wise due to the way the lawyers drew up their unions.

In this instance I wasn't referring specifically to gay marriage, but to defacto vs marriage, of any sexuality.

Some Aboriginal and disabled people are told they do not have the mental capacity to love or marry. Disabled women are still sterilised in this country. Even when the gay marraige laws are passed, we are a LONG way from equality for all

And as I've expressed before, I do agree with you on those issues- that it is wrong that not everyone can get married.

I saw wedding photos on fb of the snogging couple in front of a ute doing a burn out the other month

How Aussie, and classy (this is sarcasm)

 

[Athena]

If you want to get married, get married. If you don't, then there's no need. It doesn't change a relationship, I lost count of how many times I was asked post-wedding "Do you feel different now you're married?". 🙄

I truly believe though, that everyone should have the option to marry whomever they wish and have the same rights as everyone else. Same-sex marriage has come a long way in the UK, but I know in other countries it's not so easy, comes with caveats, or, depressingly, is still illegal. 🙁

I certainly don't believe you need to be married. It's a choice, same as everything else in life.

 

[Taake]

If you want to get married, get married. If you don't, then there's no need. It doesn't change a relationship, I lost count of how many times I was asked post-wedding "Do you feel different now you're married?".

One question though, do you feel different now you're married? 😛

I think marriage seems really nice and it also seems like a pain the ass. I guess it all depends on who you marry whether it's worth it or not. Know yourself and know your partner. My mom was coaxed into getting married when she really didn't want to, so... that crashed and burned! Personally I wouldn't mind getting married, if I found a person I wanted to be in a relationship with for longer than a week 😉 but I'm in no hurry to get married and wouldn't mind if I never did.

 

[PaulParmar1]

If you want to get married, get married. If you don't, then there's no need. It doesn't change a relationship, I lost count of how many times I was asked post-wedding "Do you feel different now you're married?". 🙄

I truly believe though, that everyone should have the option to marry whomever they wish and have the same rights as everyone else. Same-sex marriage has come a long way in the UK, but I know in other countries it's not so easy, comes with caveats, or, depressingly, is still illegal. 🙁

I certainly don't believe you need to be married. It's a choice, same as everything else in life.

Yes I believe 100% that everyone should have the right to choose to get married or not as well 😀

 

[Bop]

I love the idea of marriage, but when people just get married for the wrong reasons it can become something very meaningless. But I think marriage overall is something that makes a lot of people happy 🙂

 

[ChaseRules]

I like the idea of getting married but think the price is a big no in my book. I had a cousin who got married & they had split up before they had finished paying for the wedding.

 

[Puppet]

I also think the trick is to not make it about the wedding, but about the marriage. Too many brides get all into the planning, the dress, the guests, their big day, and forget the most important part; what comes after the wedding. Part of why I applaud couples who decide to just go down to city hall or whatever it's called in English and do it there; a couple of witnesses and that's that.

I know a lot of couples do that for their second weddings; my mom and step-dad did a small thing like that and the reception was just their kids and them.

 

[Ayko]

Since marraige is of the mind and soul and about commitment, it has little meaning once you already have made the commitment by getting engaged (the one true wedding). If we were honest and mature with each other about marraige then we would take on the responsibility immediately when taking the oath privately and personally when he is on one knee and she says yes before the paper scribbling signing and public celebration of that commitment already made. Legalities only lessen the true nature of marraige.

 

[brinkster130]

I don’t see the problem with having a big wedding if you have the means for it. I mean, it isn’t the smartest financial move to go into debt for a big party, nor would I suggest it, but if you have the money there’s no shame in spending it how you wish. It is crazy to see how much influence social media has had on the growth of the wedding industry.

 

[thrasherpix]

Yeah, I'm for all the consumerism if it's doable and genuinely desired (people can pay to have statues of themselves made as well, if they've got the money to spare, I don't care), it's just a shame that a lot of people feel their love is somehow degraded or diminished if they don't spend, spend, spend. (It's also sad to me when a woman is a "bridezilla" because this is "her" "one day," which is sad because it's about her rather than them, and because she thinks this is her primary purpose in life with no other way to measure her own value save maybe as a mother, to be what I see as more of an accessory rather than a true partner, though she might see in in a way of legally binding a sugar daddy to provide for her even after divorce.)

Two things I wanted to add..

One, on gay marriage, it should just be called "marriage" the same way "kissing" is called "kissing" no matter the genders of those involved. To call it something else is just legal trickery, or at least keeping the door open for that.

Two, I mentioned how my grandmother was never married. Well my mom was, and I have my father's surname. And yet my father's side of the family has only grudgingly tolerated me until I was 14, and after the divorce they've had nothing to do with me. I really dislike having their surname, and I'm sure they're not pleased with it, either. Hmm, maybe I should legally change my surname, though that might be confusing for others since my birth certificate (and such) would still have my father's surname on it. I'm seriously going to consider this.

 

[November]

As I said, Im not getting into another "equality" debate, so I skipped over some of the posts in the thread, I dont have the energy. My argument for scrapping marriage is not all about the gays, its that marriage is a mockery of commitment. I think it is more than half that end in divorce now... a messy (and usually painful) procedure. Bringing in union by law would not restrict the 2 souls in it to one person "til death do us part", the legal process of leaving one partner and moving to another could be simplified, especially with monogamy being an 'outdated' trend. (I would go further to say this has been enabled by the medical world with treatments for STI's and pregnancy which is why monogamy was so fiercely enforced in previous eras.)

Most Weddings this decade are narcissistic, wasteful and excessive. It is just a show of how much they have to spend on the day, how quick they can get photos up for likes on media and the last hurrah before the bride gets fat with child.

Introducing the same-day wedding video.

Love isn’t love without a veil dance.
Thanks to this miraculous invention, not only can you force people to suffer through your wedding video long after the wedding, you can now also make guests suffer through it at the wedding.

Yep, AT THE ACTUAL WEDDING.

Despite the fact that they just witnessed the holy matrimony and are still, in fact, present at the wedding, they can relive those special moments of just a few minutes ago.

The world's most narcissistic wedding trend has arrived.

The show of love can be cute, nice and sweet, but the commercialisation of the wedding day has become ridiculous. I feel the same about childbearing in the current culture.