Men!

[jackiepolar]

can anyone give me advice about men. i dont get them at all. my boyfriend can be the best boyfriend ever and then other times a twat. he gets jelsous if i talk to a guy. which i like cos no he cares. I love him very much and he loves me. We been togther for nearly a year. Also he loves to be in control. Just was wondering who eles has a boyfriend and what is he like and got any tips for me to use.

MEN!!!! Cant live with them Cant live without them

 

[The Arcane]

Advice from the guy side of the divide? Jealousy is not really a sign that he cares. It's a sign that he doesn't trust you enough.

When it comes to my girlfriends I've never been the jealous type. The way I see it, if I'm with somebody then I'm going to trust that they want to be with me and not mess around behind my back. If I were to find out that somebody I was with had cheated on me, the relationship would be over, no two ways about it. However, I reckon that if you are going to be in a relationship in the first place then you have to assume that it's going to work and not always be doubting that your partner is faithful so there is no need for jealousy. Keeps things simple. 😉

Joking aside, jealous guys can be trouble so just watch out for yourself.

 

[Hero]

I noticed something. You want a man? Don't look for that in boys. There's a big difference. Arcane is right about him not trusting you. Him being nice one minute and being mean the next sounds like he doesn't care about your opinion unless he's going to get some. Someone should be nice to you, even if they are mad about something they shouldnt take it out on you. It's a big thing on respect. No matter how mad I was or mad at someone I loved, I wouldn't take my anger out on them...unless it's in a fun way.

 

[jackiepolar]

yea i get what u mean the thing is im very jealsous as well. I dont know i had times in past. The thing is he is diabetic and when he gets in a mood he gets in one. He sleep is really bad caused by it so normal nasty when tried as he is with everyone. I must say i am way more jealsous then he is to me. all are arguments have is mostly about his sleeping

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

Yeah, i'm with Arcane on the 'jealous' thing.
Its not a matter of how much he wants you, cares for you or even loves you its a matter of 'I don't want someone else touching my things'.
I know thats a sad way to look at it and that doesn't mean he doesn't love you, only that when it comes to the crunch, he doesn't want someone else touching you.

I'm not a jealous person myself. If I actually love someone then i'm pretty confident they love me and if that is the case, whatever will be will be.

Thats not to say that on the odd occasion I don't get a little jealous.
If someone I actually think is better than me at one of the few things I know i'm great at actually spends time with 'my lady' then, maybe then I get jealous.
The way I see that is, the reason she loves me is my 'talents' and if there is someone else with same but better talents then I get a lil bit aggravated.
Having said that, I am yet to me someone better than me at my greatest gifts, so not with the jealous.

 

[Angels baby101]

Yeah i kinda agree with the guys here Jealousy is not good... it just leads to wayyy to many problems i've broken up with a few guys because they were jealous i had male friends even if said male friends were gay... So yeah Jealousy= Bad lol

My boyfriend now isn't the jealous type and i have to keep reminding myself thats good cause i'm not used to it then agian i'm not jealous either.

and Controlling is bad too really if your boyfriend is controlling you thats not a good thing No man should EVER controll a woman. I love my boyfriend very much but the moment he tries to start controlling me is the moment he gets a swift kick to the groined area.

But as for advice on men, Us girls will never understand them. EVER. like i said before i love my bf and he's a great guy but there are times he's standoffish and i feel left out.... but thats guys for you... He just says he's sorry and he doesn't mean to do it.

but its simple as this. We will never understand them. and they will never understand us. but for some reason we cant live without each other (ok well that would mainly be because we need each other to reproduce but yall know what i mean)

 

[Harley]

Just keep his leash short and you'll be fine. 😉

Right Botd?

 

[Randy Giles]

I agree with everyone else...a jealous boyfriend is bad. It doesn't mean he loves you anymore than a non-jealous guy would. It means he's insecure, he either thinks you'll cheat on him or that you'll fall in love with someone else and leave him.

I'm not a jealous guy at all. In my mind, if my girlfriend cares about me enough, she's not going to cheat on me, so why get mad that she has guy friends? And I expect the same from her, a lot of my friends are girls, so I would never date a super-jealous girl. And if I'm dating someone and they cheat on me, well then it wasn't meant to be so no need to get violent about it.

To go off on a slight tangent...that reminds me of a discussion I overheard at work one day. People were talking about what a guy should do to the guy his girlfriend cheats with, IF the guy didn't know the girl was in a relationship. All the guys said it didn't matter, the guy should be beaten up anyway. My question is: WHY?! If a girl I was dating went and slept with a guy, and she told him that she was single and everything, it's not the guy's fault. It's the girlfriend's. The same goes for girls who get upset with "the other woman". Their man is the one who lied, so why make the "other woman" the enemy?

OK, end of tangent. I just wanted to say that because I've always thought it but the oppurtunity never arose until now. 😉

 

[Willow Rosenberg]

I think everyone has given really good advice so far. I've never had a jealous partner, and my husband is not the jealous type either, we have complete trust. It wouldn't enter either of our heads to cheat on each other. But that's not really important anyway. A relationship is a 2 way street, there should be give and take - on both ends. 😉

I have had friends in the past and just recently, that have had 'jealous' boyfriends, and all of their relationships ended badly. Of those, 99% turned into violent relationships. From what I've seen of those relationships, the possessive, jealous, controlling types usually are violent, or eventually become violent because to them, you are just a possession, you should have no free will of your own, and I'm not referring just to men either, it also goes for some women too!

If he truly loves you, he will trust you - and if you love him, you will trust him too. A relationship without trust really isn't a relationship because it's never going to be healthy.

My cousin's ex-partner was diabetic, so I understand about the mood swings, but usually that was when he wasn't managing his diabetes as he should be.

If your boyfriend is having mood swings & sleeping alot because of his diabetes, maybe he's not looking after himself as he should be & perhaps not managing his diabetes properly? I know my cousin's ex-partner's neglect of his diabetes nearly put him in a coma once... Funnily enough, since they split up, he has never been healthier 'lol'

 

[Wicked]

Ok I get what youre all saying about the jealousy thing but its not necessarilly as bad as youre all making it out to be.

My last boyfriend was the most jealous guy on the planet. Eventually it lead to our breakup a year and 9 months later. That was bad. But that was down to the level of jealousy and the reasons for it.

However, some people are jealous for a semi good reason. Trust issues for example. Doesnt mean they dont trust you as such. Just means they have problems trusting people in general. Believe me, I know. Ive never been a jealous person, but my fiance has and I can see it from his point of view because I know what hes been through. However we've been together long enough that its not so much an issue now.

Im just saying, jealousy is not always as bad as you guys are suggesting. There could be a good reason behind it.

 

[Kali]

My cousin's ex-partner was diabetic, so I understand about the mood swings, but usually that was when he wasn't managing his diabetes as he should be.

If your boyfriend is having mood swings & sleeping alot because of his diabetes, maybe he's not looking after himself as he should be & perhaps not managing his diabetes properly? I know my cousin's ex-partner's neglect of his diabetes nearly put him in a coma once... Funnily enough, since they split up, he has never been healthier 'lol'

I agree edb - is this problem because of his diabetes (mood swings, irrational emotions) or is it deeper rooted than that? Has he always been this way? Does it depend on whether he has been drinking or eating poorly? 'Cos if he is managing his diabetes correctly, then it doesn't sound like he's a great prospect, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Sounds more like he needs to grow up a bit and trust you. If it drives you that mad and makes you feel like you have to compromise yourself to keep him, it's not good news. And it's on the path to a nasty cycle of control. I'd have a deep and meaningful, and see if there is anything deeper rooted which may have escaped your attention, like past history or family problems with trust. Either that or poke him in the eye with a sharp stick and tell him to get a grip. It's up to you really 😉

 

[Edmund Blackadder]

Just keep his leash short and you'll be fine. 😉

Right Botd?

Absolutely mistress🙂

Ok I get what youre all saying about the jealousy thing but its not necessarilly as bad as youre all making it out to be.

My point was what was causing the jealousy.
Jealousy is nothing to do with how much you care for a person, nor really if you trust them or not, it's simply about not wanting someone to touch their things.

IF there has been a breakdown of trust before then fair enough, thats probably the root, but most cases of mindless jealousy, the reason above is the problem.