Michelle Trachtenberg Bullied

[Kanazaka]

I saw an episode of "E! Investigates" earlier today, entitled "Bullying -- Celebs Speak Out". In one of the segments, Michelle Trachtenberg speaks with Laura Ling about being bullied when she was younger. In one instance, Michelle was invited to a house by her classmates, then lured out to the front of the house -- where a male classmate lifted his shirt and taunted, "Are these bigger than yours?" The other two instances discussed were a girl pushing her down a flight of stairs and boys being paid to jokingly ask her to a Homecoming Dance. I was quite surprised, even though I've heard similar "bullying due to jealousy" stories from other celebrities. Here's a link to the video: http://www.eonline.com/videos/194191/e-investigates-bullying-celebs-speak-out.

 

[AmelRIOT]

It's just shocking, loads of celebs were bullied when younger and it shows that people who are being bullied now can grow up and be something amazing while the bullys just dissappered. I hate bullying as a bullying victim myself I have grown and done stuff that I thought years ago I will never do, I wish that bullying would stop end all.

 

[kittenpoker]

awww poor dawnie!!!! :-(

I hate bullying. It's so sad.

although the bullies are probably kicking themselves now.

 

[Robb Stark]

It takes guts to talk about crappy stuff like that that's happened to you in the past. People don't always realize, but stars in Hollywood weren't always that way. Once upon a time they were ordinary people too, with crummy problems like bullying. But when they talk about it today, where the whole world (and especially kids) can see where they are now and where they've come from, well, I think that carries quite a bit of influence. It's pretty cool that she's willing to do that.

Oh, and as a side note, no one would ever have to force me to ask Dawn to homecoming 😀.

 

[BuffyElevated]

I feel bad for Michelle that she had to go through that. :\

Here's my take on bullying though, and I know it's an unpopular opinion, but it's mine.
I think a lot of the time today, kids are so damn sensitive about EVERYTHING. Kids today can have 1 bad day and come home claiming they are being bullied. I do realize that kids are mean and that bullying does happen, but I also think in certain situations, it's not so much that kids are being overly mean, but that the kid claiming to be bullied needs to toughen up a little.
I was bullied in junior high school. My "friends" wrote me notes telling me they couldn't hang out with me anymore 'cause "boys don't like fat girls", and other horrible things... I realized they were being mean, but I didn't even realize that it was bullying til years later when I was discussing the things that had happened to me with a family friend and she said "You know, you really should have turned those kids in." But I didn't, and instead I ended up having to go to anger management therapy because their bullying drove me into fits of deep rage and anger and I would hurt people.
I was raised to believe that you deal with things yourself and don't expect people to handle it for you. I am glad that today's youth have more outlets and can feel more comfortable to reach out when there is real trouble. But I also think that the trend of bullying has made it all too popular for kids to yell "I'm being bullied" when they're really not, and they simply need to learn how to not let things bother them so much.

Okay, rant over.

 

[Robb Stark]

I feel bad for Michelle that she had to go through that. :\

Here's my take on bullying though, and I know it's an unpopular opinion, but it's mine.
I think a lot of the time today, kids are so damn sensitive about EVERYTHING. Kids today can have 1 bad day and come home claiming they are being bullied. I do realize that kids are mean and that bullying does happen, but I also think in certain situations, it's not so much that kids are being overly mean, but that the kid claiming to be bullied needs to toughen up a little.
I was bullied in junior high school. My "friends" wrote me notes telling me they couldn't hang out with me anymore 'cause "boys don't like fat girls", and other horrible things... I realized they were being mean, but I didn't even realize that it was bullying til years later when I was discussing the things that had happened to me with a family friend and she said "You know, you really should have turned those kids in." But I didn't, and instead I ended up having to go to anger management therapy because their bullying drove me into fits of deep rage and anger and I would hurt people.
I was raised to believe that you deal with things yourself and don't expect people to handle it for you. I am glad that today's youth have more outlets and can feel more comfortable to reach out when there is real trouble. But I also think that the trend of bullying has made it all too popular for kids to yell "I'm being bullied" when they're really not, and they simply need to learn how to not let things bother them so much.

Okay, rant over.

I see what you mean, and I have no doubt that there are kids out there who exaggerate the problem. I wasn't really bullied in school, or at least, not in high school (but to be fair, there wasn't a ton of "bullying" by the time I got to high school. It had kind of burned out of most people). But in middle school, that Grade 6-8 range, I think it can be a real problem. I played hockey in school and was friendly with just about everyone, so I didn't really have to go through it, but I saw a number of times one guy (I'm sure it happens just as much, probably more, with girls) just relentlessly pick on someone.

Trouble is, over time the kid just gets beaten down, and doesn't have any real options to get out of it. I get what you mean about fixing your own problems, and for me that worked great whenever I did have a problem with someone (it still does). This took me a long time to realize, but it's the truth: not everyone is built that way. We can argue that they "should" be able to, but that's just not always realistic. If a kid is softer than others, or lacks confidence, that doesn't mean she/he should have to just go through being bullied. I'll never believe that. Not everyone is born strong, and I truly believe they shouldn't have to go through crap like being bullied to become strong. I hope that makes sense (I'm not sure if I'm articulating everything correctly here).

I hate bullying. Hate it. I wish, looking back, I'd been a bit more like Buffy at the time, and stepped up when I saw kids getting bullied in school (which I did). I didn't then, but I damn sure do now. Sure, kids play up "the worst day ever" as being bullied. But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. And when it does happen, when it's an ongoing problem for a kid at school (or an adult in the workplace, because it happens there too), I think videos and stories from people like Michelle can help tremendously.

 

[Mazikeen]

Re:

Kids were cruel when I was a child, but the venom in todays children is incredible. It scares the living daylights out of me. It's really very nice to see society speaking out against it. My daughter has had to deal with alot of bullying in her days. She's always been a very timid girl, and she craves social acceptance like nothing else. But for years she has come home with bruises or I would show up at the school to pick her up and the kids would have her cornered making fun of her. She tried to tell the teachers and the principles and they would simply tell her to stop being a tattle-tale. She came home one day with marks on her face from some little boy hitting her in the face with a basketball and I lost my cool. I called a conference with the principle, teacher, superintendent and teachers aide. Things stopped and some kids were punished. However that only curbed things for a while.
There's no handbook to tell you the correct way to raise a child, and I'm not afraid to say that being a parent is terrifying and difficult. Since my daughter was born I have tried to teach her to walk away from unnecessary drama and bullies. Be the better person I've told her. But how do you NOT tell your child to fight back and lay those kids on their hind parts?? What's the correct thing to do here?
My father was a bit rougher around the edges and raised me to be a fighter. He always told me that if I got into a fight (wether I started it or not), I better not lose. Cause then I'd have to come home and deal with him. So bullying was never something I had to deal with. Even as small as I was, I intimidated people enough that they wouldn't bother with it. So I'm having a rough time with this now.

 

[woogirl]

I used to be a victim of bullying in my secondary school. And then I moved to England and the situation was the same. Now I'm again in my country, going to the last class of high school and it's okay now. I think that victims of bullying are usually the people who show their individuality. With time it's becoming a quality. And the experiences from the past made me stronger. I know that after rain it'll come the sun. I don't give up after failure. Sometimes I thank to my life that it wasn't so easy, without that probably I would be totally different person.

And I understand Michelle. She's beautiful and confident woman. I respect her a lot.

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

Two things:

1. What REALLY constitutes bullying these days? Like that example from Michelle Trachtenberg with the guys being paid for jokingly asking her out for a Dance. I would call that a prank, not bullying. And that thing with the breast, that's also not really bullying in my opinion, that's being an immature jerk. When I hear people's "bullying" stories, a lot of times I can't help but wonder in what kind of bubble they grew up. People have always been known to fight amongst each other sometimes and say bad things, that's the way it's always been, and that is not really bullying. At some point some people need to realize that that's just the way life is, and either you learn to stand up for yourself every once in a while or you're not really fit for life. I don't mean to downplay real cases of bullying, like when physical violence is involved, or when like a clique in school is making it their goal to destroy you no matter what, but in cases like when somebody calls you fat once, there's no need to go straight to the principal crying your being bullied and everyone is so mean to you.

2. In my experience, a lot of people who are being 'bullied' (and by this I mean mainly receiving some mean comments from their peers) kinda have it coming. I don't know what things were like at your schools, but people that are usually being targeted from where I'm from are a lot of times either
a) smelling bad, like not showering and no personal hygiene
b) fat, in which case (assuming it's not due to medical reasons) either in my opinion you should stand by your own body and not give a damn what other people say about it, or, if it bothers you that much, lose weight
c) dressing in a certain style / being part of some scene / (also including makeup, the lack of it, haircuts etc.), in which case I also think either you should stand up for the way you decide to look like or, if it really bothers you, adapt.

This probably reads pretty harsh, but that's what I think about it. People are entitled to their opinions, and in schools whenever these opinions are not exactly the nicest, a new case of bullying seems to spring. But that's the way the world works. People are not gonna shut up to convenient you. So either learn to live with what they say about you, or change to conform a bit more.

(And once again I'd like to stress that this is about the cases that imo aren't really bullying, but just kids being kids, getting a bit mean sometimes. Obviously, if it becomes an obsessive thing, physical violence is involved, it's a big group that tries to make you break down intentionally (like everyone posting on your fb wall to go kill yourself), etc., it's a different story.)

 

[Cheese Slices]

@Tueuse de Vampires: While I really agree with most of your post, I'd just like to point out:

Two things:

a) smelling bad, like not showering and no personal hygiene

In school, I knew some children/teenagers who "smelled bad" and so on, and every time it was because they came from an abusive/poor family or background. They couldn't help it and were miserable enough without people picking on them. 🙁

 

[BuffyElevated]

Kids were cruel when I was a child, but the venom in todays children is incredible. It scares the living daylights out of me. It's really very nice to see society speaking out against it. My daughter has had to deal with alot of bullying in her days. She's always been a very timid girl, and she craves social acceptance like nothing else. But for years she has come home with bruises or I would show up at the school to pick her up and the kids would have her cornered making fun of her. She tried to tell the teachers and the principles and they would simply tell her to stop being a tattle-tale. She came home one day with marks on her face from some little boy hitting her in the face with a basketball and I lost my cool. I called a conference with the principle, teacher, superintendent and teachers aide. Things stopped and some kids were punished. However that only curbed things for a while.
There's no handbook to tell you the correct way to raise a child, and I'm not afraid to say that being a parent is terrifying and difficult. Since my daughter was born I have tried to teach her to walk away from unnecessary drama and bullies. Be the better person I've told her. But how do you NOT tell your child to fight back and lay those kids on their hind parts?? What's the correct thing to do here?
My father was a bit rougher around the edges and raised me to be a fighter. He always told me that if I got into a fight (wether I started it or not), I better not lose. Cause then I'd have to come home and deal with him. So bullying was never something I had to deal with. Even as small as I was, I intimidated people enough that they wouldn't bother with it. So I'm having a rough time with this now.

I do agree that kids are definitely a lot more hateful today. I blame the parents, but I also blame kids TV shows that make it "cool" and "funny" to be mean. Look at Sam on "iCarly". She is rude, physically abusive, and known for fighting and they glorify that on that show to be the funniest thing ever. Jade on "Victorious" is the same; she's mean to everyone around here, making cutting remarks and being overly rude and hateful, but everytime she throws out one of her nasty remarks we hear a laugh track on the show. My daughters love both of these shows, and I am always reminding them that acting like Sam or Jade will only get you in trouble in the real world.

Putting marks on my kids brings out my crazy. There is a little girl in our neighborhood that was giving my oldest problems a while back... Mostly she would call her names and make fun of her for different things. But the moment she put her hands on my daughter, I flew off the handle. Last summer my oldest, Emily, was playing at the playground behind our house and all of a sudden one of the neighborhood kids rang our doorbell and said "Destiny pushed Emily off the top of the slide! Emily's crying; I think she's hurt." By the time I got to the playground, Emily was gasping for air and all the kids at the playground were telling me that she had done nothing; this girl had just decided she was going to attack her and pushed her off the top of the slide. After checking Emily to see if she was seriously injured (luckily it had just knocked the wind out of her and she was pretty much fine), I immediately went to that girl's house and chewed out her parents. I was screaming like a crazy woman, and I informed them that if I ever saw their daughter come near mine again, I'd be calling the police, since they apparently refused to do anything to discipline her. She hasn't bothered Emily since.

Two things:

1. What REALLY constitutes bullying these days? Like that example from Michelle Trachtenberg with the guys being paid for jokingly asking her out for a Dance. I would call that a prank, not bullying. And that thing with the breast, that's also not really bullying in my opinion, that's being an immature jerk. When I hear people's "bullying" stories, a lot of times I can't help but wonder in what kind of bubble they grew up. People have always been known to fight amongst each other sometimes and say bad things, that's the way it's always been, and that is not really bullying. At some point some people need to realize that that's just the way life is, and either you learn to stand up for yourself every once in a while or you're not really fit for life. I don't mean to downplay real cases of bullying, like when physical violence is involved, or when like a clique in school is making it their goal to destroy you no matter what, but in cases like when somebody calls you fat once, there's no need to go straight to the principal crying your being bullied and everyone is so mean to you.

2. In my experience, a lot of people who are being 'bullied' (and by this I mean mainly receiving some mean comments from their peers) kinda have it coming. I don't know what things were like at your schools, but people that are usually being targeted from where I'm from are a lot of times either
a) smelling bad, like not showering and no personal hygiene
b) fat, in which case (assuming it's not due to medical reasons) either in my opinion you should stand by your own body and not give a damn what other people say about it, or, if it bothers you that much, lose weight
c) dressing in a certain style / being part of some scene / (also including makeup, the lack of it, haircuts etc.), in which case I also think either you should stand up for the way you decide to look like or, if it really bothers you, adapt.

This probably reads pretty harsh, but that's what I think about it. People are entitled to their opinions, and in schools whenever these opinions are not exactly the nicest, a new case of bullying seems to spring. But that's the way the world works. People are not gonna shut up to convenient you. So either learn to live with what they say about you, or change to conform a bit more.

(And once again I'd like to stress that this is about the cases that imo aren't really bullying, but just kids being kids, getting a bit mean sometimes. Obviously, if it becomes an obsessive thing, physical violence is involved, it's a big group that tries to make you break down intentionally (like everyone posting on your fb wall to go kill yourself), etc., it's a different story.)

I definitely agree with you... I think "bullying" is defined a lot differently today than it was a few years ago. Today's bullying rules kinda make me roll my eyes sometimes, 'cause I think it's like you said; a lot of the time it's more kids being kids than kids actually bullying someone.

 

[dexeded]

This probably reads pretty harsh, but that's what I think about it. People are entitled to their opinions, and in schools whenever these opinions are not exactly the nicest, a new case of bullying seems to spring. But that's the way the world works. People are not gonna shut up to convenient you. So either learn to live with what they say about you, or change to conform a bit more.

People are entitled to their own opinions, but do they really have to be mean about it? As they say, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all. Why should people be attacked for how they act or look like? It's true the 'real world' can be as bad as that too, but young kids at least shouldn't have to deal with being ostracised and made fun of by peers. When people grow up, they grow up. They shouldn't have to grow up so young.

 

[woogirl]

@Tueuse de Vampires Wow, your point of view is disturbing. I know that 'a soap is cheap' but sometimes you don't have money for basic products. I don't know in what world you were raised but maybe you can't imagine how the world really look like. And what is exactly bullying for you? For me generally it's a mental violence. Then physical.
In my 13 - 14s I was a bit fater than now, my hair looked like there were all in oil (even if I've washed them every day) and my skin was... not good at all. And it wasn't my fault. And also it wasn't a cause to fooling me around. To say that I'm ugly or something. I look different now, I grew up, but I still have got this comments in my head and I will never look at the mirror and say 'you're pretty and attractive' because of my lack of confidence. Which was caused by those mean comments. It's never nice when someone tells you 'you'll never be pretty'. And 13 - 14 years old people are not children, they know what are they doing. So those Michelle's experiences could affect her too.

Sorry for my reaction but I'm really sensitive about bullying.

 

[Cheese Slices]

[MENTION=8356]HisMrs[/MENTION] : When you come from an abusive family, hygiene is the last thing you worry about imo. "Regular" children don't really care about it, so those who live with an unstable family. When I was about 10, I knew this boy who was like you described, turns out her parents were alcoholics and beat him up on a regular basis, so I don't think it was fair to make fun of him at all. Besides, although I think people should be able to take of themselves and try to deal and not give a damn about other people's opinion, that doesn't make it okay for these people to be mean with someone because he's different.

 

[kittenpoker]

I think the point that there is a difference between teasing and bullying is valid.... and probably it's often hard to distinguish but the two examples from Michelle's story stand out to me quite clearly.

- the comment about her breast size = teasing..... I totally got that all the time, boys would come up to me in 7th and 8th grade and ask "if you didn't have feet would you wear socks? (pause) Then why do you wear a bra" and of course the famous "did the board come with the shirt?"

I believe this is teasing.

But the paying boys to jokingly ask her to a dance, I would define this as bullying. Because (I believe) it's a pack mentality - many against one - with the specific design and intention to humiliate a human being. Almost akin to (to bring buffy into it) the frat boys "prank" of that girl in season 7.

 

[BuffyElevated]

[MENTION=8356]HisMrs[/MENTION] : When you come from an abusive family, hygiene is the last thing you worry about imo. "Regular" children don't really care about it, so those who live with an unstable family. When I was about 10, I knew this boy who was like you described, turns out her parents were alcoholics and beat him up on a regular basis, so I don't think it was fair to make fun of him at all. Besides, although I think people should be able to take of themselves and try to deal and not give a damn about other people's opinion, that doesn't make it okay for these people to be mean with someone because he's different.

I never said it was ok to be mean. I don't agree that hygiene is the "last thing you worry about", even if you're abused... Hygiene is a basic necessity in life; taking a bath and washing your body is common sense. It's one thing for someone to make a comment one time and say "Dude, you need to shower" and for them to constantly ride someone's ass about being dirty. Neither one is nice, but the first one is not considered bullying to me; it's just a rude comment.
It's not "fair" to make fun of anyone, but kids do it. The hard fact of life is that kids can be cruel, and they don't always think about why someone may be the way they are before they make those rude comments.

@Tueuse de Vampires Wow, your point of view is disturbing.

You can disagree with someone's post, but please don't attack someone else for their point of view.

This is the 1 warning I will give in this thread. If people can't discuss this issue without getting personal, the thread will be closed.

 

[SlayerFest]

People are entitled to their own opinions, but do they really have to be mean about it? As they say, if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all. Why should people be attacked for how they act or look like? It's true the 'real world' can be as bad as that too, but young kids at least shouldn't have to deal with being ostracised and made fun of by peers. When people grow up, they grow up. They shouldn't have to grow up so young.

Seriously. "Hey you're flat chested, hey you're fat!" why are those comments necessary? In my opinion, a kid, teenager, adult, w/e has to be insanely immature and insecure to utter comments like those, just for the sake of being mean. That's not how the world *should* work. How a person looks is so irrelevant. When I was being picked on in the 3rd grade my parents told me it was probably because of my "tude" haha when I was a kid I had virtually no tact whatsoever. I was polite to adults but if a kid was annoying me, I'd let them know. A few girls could not stand this character flaw of mine and they'd call me names all the time. My mom suggested that it might be my behavior so I tried to work on that. I tried to be nicer to them and they started to respond well to that, but they would still pick on my friend and I occasionally. We chose to ignore them and the problem went away. It was easy for me to deal with all of that because I've always been totally chill with not having tons of friends. My sister on the other hand...cares way too much about her friends' approval.

She just started middle school. This should be interesting.

Point is, some kids are sensitive, some kids aren't so sensitive. Just because some kids can brush off the teasing, does not make it right. Especially if they're being made fun of because of the way they look. It can severely damage a kid's self esteem. I have encountered too many people who have eating disorders and most of them were taunted about their looks as a kid. Just because one kid gets over the name calling, does not mean that they all can.

 

[whitewolf]

I feel bad for Michelle that she had to go through that. :\

Here's my take on bullying though, and I know it's an unpopular opinion, but it's mine.
I think a lot of the time today, kids are so damn sensitive about EVERYTHING. Kids today can have 1 bad day and come home claiming they are being bullied. I do realize that kids are mean and that bullying does happen, but I also think in certain situations, it's not so much that kids are being overly mean, but that the kid claiming to be bullied needs to toughen up a little.
I was bullied in junior high school. My "friends" wrote me notes telling me they couldn't hang out with me anymore 'cause "boys don't like fat girls", and other horrible things... I realized they were being mean, but I didn't even realize that it was bullying til years later when I was discussing the things that had happened to me with a family friend and she said "You know, you really should have turned those kids in." But I didn't, and instead I ended up having to go to anger management therapy because their bullying drove me into fits of deep rage and anger and I would hurt people.
I was raised to believe that you deal with things yourself and don't expect people to handle it for you. I am glad that today's youth have more outlets and can feel more comfortable to reach out when there is real trouble. But I also think that the trend of bullying has made it all too popular for kids to yell "I'm being bullied" when they're really not, and they simply need to learn how to not let things bother them so much.

Okay, rant over.

How do we judge though? I mean if it was a one time thing, it's probably best to let it go, but if it keeps happening even if the people doing the bullying think they are just kidding it needs to stop. Besides, in my experience of being bullied, the bullies always say they were just kidding. Perhaps kids should learn how to not let things bother them, but they should also learn that if their actions result in someone being hurt, they should stop those actions.

---------- Post added at 10:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:37 PM ----------

I think the point that there is a difference between teasing and bullying is valid.... and probably it's often hard to distinguish but the two examples from Michelle's story stand out to me quite clearly.

- the comment about her breast size = teasing..... I totally got that all the time, boys would come up to me in 7th and 8th grade and ask "if you didn't have feet would you wear socks? (pause) Then why do you wear a bra" and of course the famous "did the board come with the shirt?"

I believe this is teasing.

But the paying boys to jokingly ask her to a dance, I would define this as bullying. Because (I believe) it's a pack mentality - many against one - with the specific design and intention to humiliate a human being. Almost akin to (to bring buffy into it) the frat boys "prank" of that girl in season 7.

This seems like semantics to me. If the action is intended to cause the person emotional or physical pain it is bullying and should not be tolerated.

 

[BuffyElevated]

How do we judge though? I mean if it was a one time thing, it's probably best to let it go, but if it keeps happening even if the people doing the bullying think they are just kidding it needs to stop. Besides, in my experience of being bullied, the bullies always say they were just kidding. Perhaps kids should learn how to not let things bother them, but they should also learn that if their actions result in someone being hurt, they should stop those actions.

---------- Post added at 10:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:37 PM ----------


This seems like semantics to me. If the action is intended to cause the person emotional or physical pain it is bullying and should not be tolerated.

And this is the problem that we're having here. People define what bullying is differently, so I don't know that we will ever come to a conclusion about how stop it.
You say if an action results in someone being hurt, then the "bully" should stop their action. I agree with this, but I also stand by what I said in the beginning; some kids get "hurt" too easily. Not all, but some.

 

[Washburne]

Late as usual.

In my definition a one time thing, no matter how mean, isn't bullying. That doesn't make it ok. I just wouldn't call it bullying. To do or say something repeatedly or by many to the same individual makes it bullying to me. Since we're all different and got different thickness to our skin I wouldn't equal all bullying. There's levels. But because not something isn't as bad as something else it doesn't make it "not bad". Also, physical bullying can often leave deeper scares that are more difficult to heal and anyone that think physical teasing/bullying isn't really bullying I strongly disagree with.

The tolerance level of people and not only kids will always vary and there is the big problem. We've had quite a few discussions on this board on how to treat/talk to each other. Some have thick skin, some are sensitive. We all go by what we're used to in real life (even if some probably use the anonymity to lash out more). "That's how I talk to my friends." "If you're offended it's your problem, not mine." Who is right and who needs to change? There we'll also have different opinions. There has been some strong opinions and not all have been happy with the end result/decison. What people give/say may be recieved differently to what was intended and that's cause for a lot of misunderstandings that can make situations blow out way of proportion.

Is something said in mean spirited way? "I was only joking." Ok then it's a bad joke because not everyone involved is laughing. You and your friends may be laughing but not the one you're making fun of. So should the sensitive ones toughen up, or should the "mean" ones become nicer? Both or none I'd say and that's why the problem will never be truly solved.

Lastly, I'd like to adress the problem [MENTION=8356]HisMrs[/MENTION] brought up. Being sensitive or not, the use of the word bullying is being misused. Which is why it's losing it's power. Having someone treat you bad (or treat you as they usually do but you're having a bad day, which you're allowed to) isn't automatically bullying. Keeping quiet, jumping to conclusions and act on them creates more problems. Not saying everything will be solved by talking. It won't, but much can be avoided by doing so.

At worst I've been bullied at a low level but at the same time hearing negative comments from every direction over the years. I may not be thick skinned so it's been enough to scar me for life. Hearing "Just get over it" doesn't help the slightest but still it's being said. Not saying I can't get over it. It's just if I can it'll take a lot of work and help. Keeping quiet about how I've felt for over 2 decades hasn't helped and has left me with severe problems when it comes to personal relations. I wish nothing like it to anyone.