First of all thanks for the interest. I certainly wouldn't let my mother see this thread lol, as she is a ardent Ruffy fan and might get offended. But anyway...
I definitely think Buffy needs someone who does not feel inferior to her, and to whom she does not feel superior.
I think this is true but not neccessarily exclusive to superstrength or lack of. Her superiority could have to do with ability and morality. For example Spike and Angel were both demons with dark pasts. She could argue moral superiority over them. All of her men have felt insecure about their relationship with Buffy. Angel obviously believed she deserved more and more meant in context normality. Riley felt she needed someone superhuman and Spike felt so insecure he believed not only that Buffy didn't love him when she said she did but also that she never really had a shot with her. Arguably Spike was treated as the most inferior overall. Although many wish us to place emphasis on Season 7 Spuffy, I would at least argue that Season 6 Spuffy did a number on him.
She also needs a lover who can hold his own, so that the relationship is not marred by her having to protect him from the dangers of her life.
Well if she continues the life she has then, she certainly needs someone who can live in her world. As of yet, we haven't seen it work with any of them, so it's difficult of us to make such generalizations...
But a monster ..? I've never been able to see anything positive in "needing a little monster in her man". To me, that reeks of unhealthy relationships in which the two lovers are opponents battling it out rather than partners pulling in the same directions. It also reminds me of all the stories, real and in fiction, where a well-meaning girl falls in love with a bloke who has a bit of a history and believes that her love will heal and change it.
Well arguably all her men maybe better for knowing her but it's no guarantee the relationship will work. I agree about Buffy needing a monster in her man, not being all that healthy.
Buffy has certainly fallen for men with a bit of a monster in them, but as she grows up I hope she'll mature into an emotionally stable woman who does not need a monster in her man.
Is this something Buffy wants or is it circumstance? As for Buffy maturing...well as you may know, I'm a full on supporter of cookie dough.
She may well choose to settle down (except, of course, that this isn't likely to happen in the Jossverse) with one of the two monster-men nonetheless, but I don't believe that it will be because she needs the monster. I believe it will be because she loves the man.
Agreed.
I disagree with that statement. Buffy only noticed/loved Angel and Spike -the ones with monsters in them- because of their humanity, their good nature, NOT because they used to kill thousands of innocents.
This is true, IMO.
I really hate how so many fans take everything Spike says at face value. Spike said that to get to Riley, and because the fact that Buffy had been head over heels in love with Angel came to his advantage.
It's difficult because although Buffy says she wants joe normal, she pulled away from Riley.
It depends on how we interpret what has been said as well. Spike believed she likes men who hurt her. Whilst Buffy has gone through periods of self-degradation, I believe her when she says she doesn't hate like that anymore. This could be further evidence of her relationships being circumstantial.
It was Angel who decided he couldn't be with her when he was human but she seemed happy enough to be humanAngel's girlfriend. Would it have worked out? We don't know. But in any respect Buffy hasn't had a successful relationship yet, so can we assume that she would have one with a superpowered being? My Bander fanfriends seem to think that's a gross assumption. lol.
But hearts don't go for logic, and Buffy will fall in love with one of those men and it won't matter if he's perfect, doesn't matter if he's what she needs the most, doesn't matter if he's the right one, what matters is that she loves him, and they'll work the rest together.
It will also depend where she is, personally. Feelings and types (if she does indeed have a type) change.
To be honest I wont quote anyone else because my post would be frightingly long.
I post what I posted in another forum. This will be stepping on some of your points but...
"....And not forgetting all her men dispite the parallels have been very different and she's fallen for them under different circumstances. If we assume she was telling the truth when she said her 'I love yous' then she loved three very different men. If we pick and choose who she loved then we can mix and match it to suite our theories. Say for example she loved Angel, and cared for Riley because he was nice and was touched by everything Spike did for her and gave him the mercy love or she loved Spike but fancied Angel and cared for Riley etc.
Just to comment briefly on my point, it's about making the theory fit. I once said, if we believe most of what Spike said on the subject then the only person Buffy's did or will love is Angel. I'm not convinced myself really. I do believe Buffy loved Spike, and don't necessarily believe she needs a monster in her man.
I think Spike and Angel ar very different people apart from the fact they are vampires who loved Buffy. There are other parallels but there are so many differences that it makes it hard for me to believe they are the same type and the nature of their relationships are very different.
Which is the point. Practically speaking it hasn't always been that safe having Spike and Angel around and both of them have died or been incapicitated in some way during their relationship. People such as Xander, Giles etc have survived. Heck even Buffy died herself, so whilst superpowers may be important in the good fight, it's not a given that everyone in her life needs these abilities, even a boyfriend. None her relationships have been easy. Would they have necessarily been harder if her beaus were human. Maybe in some ways but with soullessness, attempted rapes, teachers being killed...well, it doesn't fill me with confidence comtemplating her next lover if he has a little demon in him.
I don't believe Buffy likes pain in the way Spike says she does but the burden of what she does creates a circumstance whereby 'normal' relationships are hard to come by. I think my mum said it best: she doesn't look for these men, they seem to find her.
The actual main point of the passage was about generalising. You don't need to be human to be insecure about being in a relationship with Buffy. You don't need to be human for Buffy to pull off her insolationalist Slayer crap, (which she did with almost everyone, including Riley). I also don't believe you need to be human for Buffy to believe (at least on an unconscious level) that's she's superior to you. There are no guarantees, no rules as far as I'm concerned. It's about cookie dough as I see it. Why should she or us, define her through her men. I wouldn't necessarily do this with any girl, especially a girl with an unusual lifestyle or a girl in her early twenties.
Ok knowing that we know that human people, if they are careful can live in the world of supernatural, do you think that means that Buffy needs someone who is physically her equal? (we are putting the monster bit aside for a moment) If so why? Is it about practicality? If Angel turned out to be human (when she first started to fall for him, she thought he was human remember?) how do think the relationship would have progressed if Angel just turned out to be an older human guy who's parents really were killed by vampires? Is it so set in stone that her relationship with Riley wouldn't have worked out if she got to him in time in Into The Woods?
