More School Violence

To expand on what Dlou mentioned earlier...

Dan Savage(yes,the guy who pens the syndicated sex advice column Savage Love)wrote an article for the Seattle alternative newsweekly The Stranger(which he edits)just after the Columbine incident which should explain that take a bit more...(note: this column does contain some naughty words,so be advised beforehand.)

Fear the Geek - News - The Stranger, Seattles Only Newspaper
 
SpikedBuffy: I don't know HOW you do it with the parents these days. I had to scold my own friend when she said BEFORE the first day of school she walked in and went right up to the teacher and said, "Now, my daughter is smarter than most of the kid's in this class and I need you to find her 'special' work that she can do extra". She also wanted HER daughter to have special library privileges...IN THE FIRST GRADE! And BOY was she ticked when the teacher said she couldn't do that.
I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore if she ever did something like that again. And that the poor teacher did NOT have time, that was HER job to make time, not the teacher's.
How parent's think the teachers can teach ANYTHING to their kids when the parent's spend their time saying how WRONG the teacher is all the time is beyond me. If the parents don't respect the teacher, why would the kid?

My Dad would have laughed me out of the ROOM if I tried to tell him I got in trouble but it wasn't my fault, it was the teacher's.

And, I'm not for my kid's getting beaten up, but I am NOT for hitting back. That doesn't teach the kid anything. Children DO hit, but it's our job to teach them better ways to 1.) control their anger and 2.) work out issues. It's the job of parents and teachers to create capable adults. Sadly, it seems, that these days, only teachers remember that. The parents want a "mini me" or something to show off, like a trophy.
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I absolutely hate parents who demand that I make up extra work for their child to do. They are all like..."La-di-da, my child is the most smartest kid in this class and you are obviously not challenging them enough, and that's why they are acting out." And then I'm thinking... "Right. Your child is so freakin smart that they are under their desk biting themself because they can't figure our how to borrow during subtraction! You just continue to live in your fantasy world there!"


And with the hitting thing. I know that a lot of people say you should stick up for yourself and defend yourself, but when we're talking about hitting, it's rough play on the playground or a minor disagreement between students. We're not talking a gun being pulled on somebody or getting the extreme crap kicked out of someone. In these situations, the rules say that no child is supposed to use any part of their body against another student. In fact, that's rule number two in our classroom "We will keep our bodies to ourselves". Children need to learn how to deal with their anger and issues by handling their problems a different way. They need to talk out their problems or learn coping strategies to deal with problems. Think about it, if someone comes up to you as an adult and hits you on the arm because they are rough playing, so you just haul off and hit them back? I should think not. You ask them what their problem is or just ignore it. That's what children need to learn, yet parents tell their children just to hit back instead of helping their child understand why this is happening and what they can do to solve their problems other than hitting back.
 
They are all like..."La-di-da, my child is the most smartest kid in this class and you are obviously not challenging them enough, and that's why they are acting out."
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YES! That is my friend! She was last ticked off because her daughter made a 98 on a practice test, a 92 on the next and an 89 on the actual test. And she was furious at the teacher for not noticing how "bored" her daughter was. And ranted on and on about this IN FRONT of her daughter. How her teacher must be an idiot and uneducated.
I asked her how the teacher was supposed to tell kids that knew things from kids that don't just because they do poorly on a test. And, secondly, why she wasn't scolding her DAUGHTER, if this was true. Tell her that life is FULL of doing dull and boring things and that if she KNOWS the stuff, to DO it. That piddling around and doing poorly on a test that she knows the answers to is unacceptable!

Again, if I had told my Dad I did bad on a test because I was bored and the teacher was a moron, he'd have laughed me out of the room!

Where did this group of parents come from? It's like they take it as a personal kick in the pants if someone eludes that their kid didn't pop out of the womb knowing everything there is to know!
And, WORSE, it creates a group of "victims". If you spend your life telling your kid they are succeeding, because "the world" is trying to keep them down, they don't learn self-esteem or work ethic, they learn that the way to "deal" is striking back the one trying to keep them down....like their 3rd Grade teacher.
It makes me sick!

Edit:

If you spend your life telling your kid they are succeeding
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Just in case, I meant to say AREN'T succeeding.....
 
B
Blondie Bear
ABSOLUTELY agree with your "victim" point.
It comes from a generation of getting in touch with feelings and doing what feels good instead of what does good. Too many parents wanting to be their kids friends instead of their parents.There is also a very common thought out there that people are all the same and if you are just nice enough to them, everyone will get along. I don't subscribe to this point of view. The first thing that happens when people hear about something like this is the rush to understand. Normal people will not, cannot understand because the people that have these thoughts do not think like the majority of people. I own a martial arts studio and I have one kids class, where I make it a point to explain to them every week that not everyone is nice and there are people that like to hurt other people. I think it is vital to teach your children how to protect themselves and more importantly to understand that some people are bad. I also tell them IN FRONT OF THE PARENTS, that its my job to teach them how to punch and kick, but its up to their parents to tell them WHEN they can do it.This tends to be an ugly and scary reality that most like to deny.
I also teach several police officers and corrections officers. Anyone who doesn't believe that the criminal mind is different than the average guy needs to sit down with one of these officers for an hour. Manipulative, scheming and ruthless. There is far too much compassion for the criminal and not enough for the victim.
Want to fix the country? Get rid of excuses and enforce the personal responsibility.
 
Too many parents wanting to be their kids friends instead of their parents.
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Ooh yeah, you really highlighted something there for me. I know parents who and try and do that, mostly if their children are in their teens. And I had a few friends whose parents were like that too. They are 'laid-back' letting their kids do whatever they want because they want to be seen as one of the gang. So they'll let their kids drink, be out at all hours etc etc. It's like 'Be there for them yes. Be the one person they can totally trust. But remember, you're a parent not their friend'
 
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