Moving Out?

[Angelic Slayer]

So it's looking like I'm going to be moving out on my own two feet come September and I was wondering what was everyone else's experience in moving out of your parent's house?

A very good friend of mine has been living with my family and I for about a year now and she and I have decided to get a place together. Nothing too fancy, about a 10 minute drive from the town I'm living in now. We'll both have a steady job, be within walking distance to work. And as a bonus her mother is moving overseas this summer, so we will be able to get a lot of the furniture and home furnishings from her old place.

Being honest I'm a little nervous (not being around my parents all the time, making ends meet month after month), but at the same time I'm relieved to get out of the house-- really think it'll be better for me in the long run to get out on my own. I'm saving up a lot of my full-time summer paychecks to help with rent (especially since I have very few expenses right now) which I think will really be a godsend for next year. But we'll see how it goes, anyway! 😉


When did you guys "leave the nest"? What was your experience? Any tips for a first-time mover outer? ???

 

[Blondie Bear]

Go you! It's a big step and kinda scary, but you'll get through it. I moved out of my parents house only to move in with my then hubby-to-be's family, so it wasn't that different except that we did our best to buy our own food/cleaning supplies/etc, but if we were broke, his dad would feed us. A few years later we moved for school and truly struck out on our own, and it was scary but nice (it's really really hard to . . . play checkers . . . when there's a houseful of people on the other side of the wall). We've managed okay; we haven't had to beg family for money yet, and to me that's a sign of success.

Edit

You wanted tips, too. Um . . . watch your finances. Between rent, utilities, cable, phone, and food, money goes fast. You don't want to splurge on a big screen TV or something only to find you can't pay for the cable to said TV!

Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it, even if it's just "Hey, mom, what temperature do I bake chicken at?"

Have fun!

 

[T.I.P]

I never left home till(25). i felt like i left it far far far too late but not only did i move out of my mums house but i moved to a different country(Scotland to Ireland) and i just wish i done it YEARS ago.

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

I'll be moving out next month, which puts me in the first group, as I'll still be 18. The reason why I move out is because of Uni, which I'll be attending in a different country, so commuting is not really an option (plus I really want to live like in a college party zone...I hope college is really like that, otherwise I'll be disappointed, lol)
I'm a wee nervous about everything, first the strange country part, but on top of that the I don't even know how to do laundry part (a bit like Rachel on Friends in the beginning).
Well, and so I'm really grateful for this thread, as hopefully, others can tell about their good experiences and calm me down a bit 🙂

 

[Bangelxx]

WOW! thats a big deal! I would be nervous too....I still live with my parents. obviously.

 

[Washburne]

I left the nest at 19, which I thought was quite late. Even if some of my friends lived at home for another ten years! Bur since my sister moved out just before she was 16 it was really about time for me.

I defintely needed to get out of the house but it felt strange of course. The first night was worst, in the middle of nowhere (countryside) and hearing a lot of unfamiliar noices. And waking up totally alone was well not scary but very strange. Having to sleep on the floor since we crashed the bed while moving didn´t help either.

Money was always an issue, but that what you get being unemployed from time to time. And you learn pretty fast that things cost more than you´d realized before.

As said I needed to move away from home, but I still had my parents pretty close by. So that was a comfort. Not that I could walk over for sugar, but about half an hour an a bike. I don´t have a drivers licence.

A big step in growing up anyway, and a well needed one for me.

 

[Joyce Summers]

Well, I was 18 when I first moved out. But that was just to go to college so while it was scary in a 'I'm no longer at home' kinda way, it wasn't quite the same as you're still having all major worries like food, bills, plumbing, heating etc supplied by someone else. So it never occurrs to you to worry. The only thing step wise that that was for me was being entirely independent in the living away from home capacity.

However, when I was about 22...I think it was 22...Might have been 21....argh, I have such a terrible memory when it comes to years and ages haha, I moved to New York for a while. Now THAT was scary. It was a different state, I was no longer living in a dorm. It was just me and a friend being roomies- we were kinda under the impression it would be like an episode of Friends. And while sometimes it was, a lot of the time, it erm, wasn't. You never see Rachel and Monica fretting over whether they can pay the bills. And we didn't have Joey living across the hall either...

But after a little while we got used to it- it really helped that it was the two of us, two friends going through it together. It would have been so much worse if I'd been in New York on my own. And after a while we got a rhythm going with bills, money, expenses, cleaning, laundry, the whole shebang. I got a job with a drama company which definitely paid the way and my friend got hired at an art studio (She's a cartoonist) and money stopped being such a panic. I mean it was still a concern- because hey, people have issues if you don't pay for stuff, haha- but it was no longer a constant worry and we were able to just enjoy being all living on our owny and heck, we even had the calm-down-time to actually enjoy New York. Haha.

We were there for a quite a while and after the initial cold draft of paralyzing fear I loved it. It definitely became home and I was sad when I left- a relative was really ill so I moved back to my hometown in California where my family was- and my friend stayed in New York where one of her fellow arty friends moved in with her to take my place. She's still living there now and doing very well for herself and I've not left California. I do miss New York sometimes....

Moving out is ALWAYS scary though whether it's first time, or the fifteenth time- it was still scary for me when my husband and I moved to Torrance. I think moving in general gets me all worked up, haha, but it definitely helps if you've got a friend with you like I did in New York. As long as you've got your finances sorted, which it sounds like you have, and you've got a friend to keep one another ground and sane, which you also have, you'll be fine. A little shaky at first but eventually fine. And just take one day at a time. I made the mistake of thinking about things that were months ahead which got me into one hell of a tizzy, so one day at a time. Trust me. And I really hope all goes well for your movingness!

 

[LittleMissLikesToFight]

wow you guys are making me feel bad! im 21 and still at home, finishing college. planning to move out by the next ...18 months or so. Once i get a stable job. Living in NYC is expensive, and i dont really have anyone to room with, and im not quite ready to move in somewhere with my boyfriend yet. MY brother is 27 and he's still home, and my dad can't wait til he leaves lol.

My boyfriend is still at home too, he's 28, but his mom is very overweight and suffers from diabetes and often needs his help, so thats the reason why he's still there, to take care of her.

 

[Rebecca]

I initially moved out when I was 18 to go to uni, and it was a HUGE shock to the system. I was pretty clueless about everything, laundry, cooking, transport etc. and ended up moving back home within 2 months (which my mother was not particularly happy about). I then spent the next 3 years living at home until I met my current boyfriend and moved in with him and his parents, whom I'm still living with. So I guess, technically, I still haven't really moved out. I've been pestering my boyfriend for the last five years though and at last we've just bought a house which we should be moving into late July. Hello Freedom! Lets hope I cope better this time 😉

So since I've never really moved out I don't think I can offer you any tips or advice, hey, ask me in September and we can share tips! 😉

 

[T.I.P]

I dont know when il Buy a house of my own but in Ireland the average price is........Over 300,000 grand. um.... no thanks. Sometime soon il move country again. Either america or canada(vancouver)

 

[Rebecca]

Social Suicide agrees: lol, and now I'm nervous because I'm just as clueless about everything as you were

Hey, don't worry about it. The problem with me was that I was so near home that I COULD move back. Plus, at 18 I was much less mature than you are! haha. I'm sure you'll be fine 😀

 

[T.I.P]

What country are you moving to if you dont mind me asking Social Suicide??

 

[The Chosen]

Well, as of current I still live at home. But as soon as I'm out of high school, me and my two (possibly three) friends plan on renting a house as we go to college. (We've all expressed interest in going to the same college, so it might work out.) It's a few years away but I can't wait. Livin' on my own. But not really. It'll be great. 😀

And we're already saving for stuff. So if it does end up happening, we'll have money to rely on to pay for bills and stuff. And if it doesn't work out, we have money for whatever. It doesn't sound too sure fire, does it?

 

[apocalypse]

According to my psychology teacher, people not moving out of their parents homes until their late 20s to early 30's is a growing trend.
I find that pretty unusual.

I still live at home and probably won't be moving out for a looooong time.

 

[palabravampiress]

I moved out when I was 18. I went to college in another state. I lived with my parents over summers, but I paid my own way through college with minimal help from my family and, whenever I was back home, I was no moocher. I made it a point to buy my parents' groceries and to pay rent so as not to be a freeloader. From the time I was 16 on, I was responsible for feeding and clothing myself (not to mention fun stuff), so when 18 hit, I was ready to be independent. My parents helped with college as much as they could, but it wasn't any consistent amount on which I could really count. It was more like the bill came and if they had an extra couple of hundred lying around, they'd put it in or buy my books. What they were really good at was helping me move in and out every year and coming to visit me at uni for fun stuff (like when I performed in the Vagina Monologues). Oh - and I convinced them to pay for my wisdom teeth surgery. After college, I got married, so I went straight from college to an apartment with my hubby.

I guess the best advice I can offer is not to be afraid to lean on your family. I don't just mean for money. I don't even necessarily mean for money at all. I'm just saying... just because you're independent doesn't mean you're not part of the family unit anymore. Give each other rides to/from work. Do weekly dinners. Invite your parents and siblings to game nights or parties or other evenings in which you entertain. That has really made all the difference for me. Even though we live far away, my hubby and I are very close to our families. When we did live in the same state, we hung out with them as much as we hung out with our friends. The bills, the big changes, the stress... all that stuff seems even worse when you feel like you have to be isolated from your family in order to be independent. So the biggest and best advice I can offer is that even though you're an adult, it's okay to still need mom and dad sometimes. In fact, it's pretty cool and will probably make them feel all flattered and stuff.

 

[November]

If you count boarding school, I moved out of home at 15. I loved it and have no idea how I could have stayed at home any longer! When I finished school I stayed in the same town (6 hours away from the rest of my family) for a year and then moved back to the city for Uni. That was the hardest move, I moved in with 2 guys that I knew of but had never met. We all put in money for things like the fridge/washer/lounges etc but things like food we paid for separately, it saves a lot of arguing about who ate/used what when 😛 I also had my own phone line put in. I was a full time student at the time but don't really remember struggling financially, my car was crappy but cheap to run, we didn't have cable TV, I always looked for the best deals when shopping, we went out heaps but managed to get a whole lot of free drinks lol. Things were tight but I suppose I am so used to budgeting that it wasn't a shock to my system.

Since then I have moved around a bit, I even went back to live with my dad for a while and before I moved here I was living with my mum and sister again. If it gets too hard for you being on your own are you able to go back to your parents? It takes the pressure off knowing that you wont be homeless if it doesnt work out.

I love where I live now, I'm by myself in a shed (well granny flat type thing) on 5 acres, A family lives in the main house on the property so I can always visit them when I get lonely! It is so much easier living on my own in that all the mess I make is my own and all the money I spend is spent on me, no unexpected house guests (except the possums lol) and I have privacy! Plus having ponies outside of my window is great 😀 I can be slack with shopping and don't get lecture about how unhealthy I am 😛 ( I hate cooking!)

Since you have a while before you leave, look out for specials in catalogues etc, on things you are going to need. Its never too early to stock up on toilet paper! Plus it should give you an idea of what you are going to be spending on day to day and how to budget for it. Make sure you have a good freezer for when frozen dinners/food are on sale you can buy heaps and heaps lol. Also check out the local fruit and veg shop compared to big supermarket prices. We have a great market garden direct place called the "Spud Shed" here and the food is really cheap, like less then half the price of what you would get at larger shops. It really does pay to look around for prices so to speak! And that goes for home appliances and beer too 😛
Also be carefull what you put in a microwave, not everything agrees with them!

 

[caitaintdead]

Well I was kindly asked to leave my parents house when I was about 18. I guess I have a success story of moving out for you because it was the greatest thing to happen to me!
Firstly - It forced me to be independent. I didn't have my folks to fall back on if things went wrong so I completely changed my money spending habits. I went from being the kind of person that never had enough money to even get buses to work a few days after pay day to being the kind of person that saved and budgeted.
Secondly - I partied till I dropped! My parents had always been fairly strict with me so when I first moved out I was permanently drunk and smoking and staying out till sunrise and doing it all over again. Then I crashed and more or less got over the crazy partying.
Thirdly - I went from being an only child in a big house with my own bathroom AND two bedrooms to living with my two girlfriends. I instantly had sisters... At first it was horrible but I think I'm much less of a brat then I was when I moved out.

I don't really have to much advise to give you about moving out. Don't buy to much furniture you don't need and try to get away with living as much of the stuff you don't need at your parents! Oh, and always have some two minute noodles in the cupboard!!!

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

What country are you moving to if you dont mind me asking Social Suicide??

The Netherlands.

Well to make things easier I'm trying to get a room that's already furnished and in a house with other students. The place I would like the most has 24 rooms so that's going to be a lot of students. Which I like. except maybe the sharing kitchen/bathroom thing.

 

[Slayergal]

Well I moved out when I was 23. Looking back on it I wish I'd have moved out when I turned 18. I moved out because my parents and I fought a lot from the time I turned 18 until I just gave up and moved out. I was the baby of the family and my parents just really didn't want me to grow up. We fought about everything. They hated my friends whom they didn't even know. I had a curfew of midnight (like I was still in high school). Which was pretty embarrassing around my friends who could stay out as late as they wanted. And if I stayed out later in defiance I was grounded (20 years old and grounded like a 15 year old). When I left the house they still expected me to tell them where I was going, who I was going to be with, and what I was going to be doing to the point that I ended up lying to them because otherwise they would tell me I couldn't go out. The only thing I can say about moving out when I was 23 was that from the time I was 18 I did have one or two jobs and the only bill I had to pay was my car insurance so I was able to save up so when I did move out I really didn't have to struggle to make ends meet. Which worked out nice since I didn't have a roommate to share the bills with. Once I moved out on my own my relationship with my parents changed for the better. They realized they couldn't control me like a teenager and I had my freedom to walk away or say nothing when they didn't approve of something. So like I say sometimes I wish I'd have moved out when I was 18 to avoid all the fights. Don't get me wrong living on my own hasn't always been easy there was times when I was between jobs and didn't have the extra cash flow where money was tight and bills were harder to pay.

 

[Angelic Slayer]

If it gets too hard for you being on your own are you able to go back to your parents? It takes the pressure off knowing that you wont be homeless if it doesnt work out.

I love where I live now, I'm by myself in a shed (well granny flat type thing) on 5 acres, A family lives in the main house on the property so I can always visit them when I get lonely! It is so much easier living on my own in that all the mess I make is my own and all the money I spend is spent on me, no unexpected house guests (except the possums lol) and I have privacy! Plus having ponies outside of my window is great 😀 I can be slack with shopping and don't get lecture about how unhealthy I am 😛 ( I hate cooking!)

Since you have a while before you leave, look out for specials in catalogues etc, on things you are going to need. Its never too early to stock up on toilet paper! Plus it should give you an idea of what you are going to be spending on day to day and how to budget for it. Make sure you have a good freezer for when frozen dinners/food are on sale you can buy heaps and heaps lol. Also check out the local fruit and veg shop compared to big supermarket prices. We have a great market garden direct place called the "Spud Shed" here and the food is really cheap, like less then half the price of what you would get at larger shops. It really does pay to look around for prices so to speak! And that goes for home appliances and beer too 😛
Also be carefull what you put in a microwave, not everything agrees with them!

Yeah, my parents are going to probably have a mental breakdown when I leave, I know for sure that if I ever need a place to go I'll have it-- which I agree is a very comforting thought.

Tara (my friend) and I are thinking of just getting a small two-bedroom place, mostly because we know that it'll be a alot easier to split costs at this point! We're keeping our eyes open, but we are going to look into one potential place that as long as we keep our utility use down, we should be able to handle no problem. Again, we've also lived together for a year now, so that I think is going to help us out a lot too.

Thanks, that's a good suggestion! We have made a "master" list for to buys (have it sectioned out into like "Kitchen", "Bathroom", "First Grocery Order" etc) and we're trying to get as much as we possibly can in advance while our living expenses are still down. And thanks for the microwave advice, I fully expect to bust any microwave we buy within a week. I go a little crazy with things that cook for me lol :silly:


It's awesome to hear everyone stories about moving out, please keep 'em coming! Some really awesome advice, really! Just hearing some of the stuff others went through and how to keep expenses down... there's a lot of stuff here I haven't thought of on my own!