My 21st Birthday

The Ferg

The Ferg

Scooby
Joined
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Location
Omaha, NE
So my birthday is Tuesday and unlike one would assume.. I'm kinda nervous. I'm pretty much an introvert. I like media, geeky things like comics, music, movies, internet, video games, Buffy, etc. So I'm not really into "going out" and getting wasted, dancing, socializing, and such. I feel really uncomfortable in places with a lot of people, like I can't figure out how to jump into a conversation with more than 3 people, and this is whats making me nervous. During the day I'm going to be doing the "City Pass" in Seattle, which is like museums and touristy stuff, but during the night my friends are expecting me to get messed up and go to a bar with them. I think they're assuming I'm gonna go try to hook up with someone, but honestly I really have no desire, whatsoever, to do that... especially with them around.

Sorry about the long ass post, but I'm just in a bit of a pickle. What should I do? Should I just embrace it and go crazy? Will I look back in a couple years and hate myself for not doing anything on my freakin 21st birthday? Any advice would be helpful.
 
Just try to let go and have a good time. Once you get a few drinks in you I think you'll find it a whole lot easier to socialize outside of your comfort zone 😀
 
I know the feeling. All you can do is try your best to have fun like [MENTION=12155]iShower4free[/MENTION] said.

Try to mingle and have fun. I know it's hard to let go and have fun. Just try to have a drink. You don't even need to have more than one drink if you don't want to.

With my 21st birthday, my parents wanted to pay for my first alcoholic beverage and I forgot my ID so they couldn't.😛
 
Abbeycat said:
With my 21st birthday, my parents wanted to pay for my first alcoholic beverage and I forgot my ID so they couldn't.😛
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Ugh that sucks!

I'm not really the biggest fan of drinking but yea, I'm obviously planning on getting a little drunk (also a different drug... living in Washington and all 😛 ) I was hoping it would alleviate the whole non-social thing, but I think another issue I have is that I just don't want to be social... My friends definitely assume I'm going to be social though, and I am just not ready.
 
Hey I know what you mean It's my birthday tomorrow (Tuesday) also...My 40th!!! My friends want to go out on Saturday night for a meal then a pub and or club...I've said no and said I'll probably get a cab home after the meal...party pooper but I don't want stress for my birthday celebrations.
 
The Ferg said:
Ugh that sucks!

I'm not really the biggest fan of drinking but yea, I'm obviously planning on getting a little drunk (also a different drug... living in Washington and all 😛 ) I was hoping it would alleviate the whole non-social thing, but I think another issue I have is that I just don't want to be social... My friends definitely assume I'm going to be social though, and I am just not ready.
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Hey I feel the same way dude! I'd say use the liberal laws of your state to acquire some relaxing legal substances. For me it really helps in those situations, as long as you don't take too much. That social barrier is removed after that, for me at least. I'm not much of a drinker at all (due to some horrible experiences) so I tend to use the other stuff...

Anyway, good luck, and don't let anyone force you to do anything! 🙂
 
The Ferg
The Ferg
LOVE that gif. :)
First it's tuesday here now so congrats!

Sure, there's a chance you might regret later in life if you don't celebrate properly but personally I've never seen things like that when it comes to birthdays. One wants to celebrate, fine. One wants to get totally wasted, that's their choice. Still, you don't have to do it the same date. Your birthday is exactly that, your. It's for you, not for your friends. You should do what you want to do.

That being said, I'm definitely not a social person so my answer is most likely biased from that. "Party people" will most likely see things very differently. I do know that going against your feelings and go out and do something can make for a great time. It can also turn out to be a pain. Why not go out with your friends and take it from there. If you don't enjoy yourself don't stay all night. If your friends don't like it, who cares? Easier said than done as always. If they don't want to please you on your birthday are they really the ones to be celebrating with?

Not that it matters but I last celebrated my own birthday 8 years ago. I don't miss it.
 
As a fellow introvert I completely empathise with your worry here. I was lucky enough to be in the States on my semester abroad when my 21st rolled around. If I'd been at home in Ireland I would have been a wreck. The norm here is to have a blow out party for your 21st. A.K.A My Worst Nightmare. 😉

It would be really easy for me to tell you to just do what you want to do and feck anybody who gives you trouble for it. But I understand the social pressure you must be feeling. It isn't easy to juggle, especially when a "Big Event" comes along. All I can suggest is to do something you are comfortable with. For my 21st I ended up having a small party in my apartment with my roommates and my friends that I had traveled with. It was in a place I felt safe and comfortable, I felt in control, the party was completely on my terms and honestly I had one of the best nights of my life. Is there any chance something like that would appeal to you/is possible? Maybe even going out for a casual meal with some close friends? I think the key is pick something you are comfortable doing and including your friends in it. At the end of the day it is your birthday and I'd be surprised if they didn't respect your wishes in how you want to celebrate it. Plus, if they really want to go out they are totally free to after they have marked the day with you. Is there anyone in your group of friends that understands how you feel about social events? I often find that if I have one person/people in a group who gets how stressed socilaising can make me they often help me deflect the pressure from other people or support me when I decide to leave and people are giving me crap about it. It can make all the difference.

P.S. It's the 18th here so happy birthday hun 🙂
 
The Ferg said:
Ugh that sucks!

I'm not really the biggest fan of drinking but yea, I'm obviously planning on getting a little drunk (also a different drug... living in Washington and all 😛 ) I was hoping it would alleviate the whole non-social thing, but I think another issue I have is that I just don't want to be social... My friends definitely assume I'm going to be social though, and I am just not ready.
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I'm not a huge fan of drinking. I don't like tasting the alcohol. My dad is having a drinking problem. I just don't have an interest in drinking alcoholic beverages.

Hehe. Yeah. The drinking might open you up a little bit and make you a little socialable. Right. I get that. A lot of times, I don't want to be social especially in a room full of people. And that's okay. Just tell them that you aren't ready to be social. Hopefully, they'll understand.
 
If you're not the go out and party type then just stick to your guns and do what makes you comfortable and what you have fun doing. Don't let peer pressure or anything else make you miserable. It's YOUR birthday! 🙂
 
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Living Dead Boy
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Abbeycat
Abbeycat
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SinisterPledge
SinisterPledge
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I think you could find a happy medium between a crazy night out with lots of socializing outside of your comfort zone and a quiet night in with no socializing. Perhaps just go out to a couple smaller dive bars with some of your friends and have a couple drinks - places like that can be just as fun as the cool trendy club/bar that draws a big crowd. Honestly, you having fun and enjoying yourself is what your going to want remember about your 21st.

ps: HAPPY 21st! :cheers:
 
Celebrate your birthday the way you want, and don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks. If you don't feel like going out and getting trashed, then don't! There's no law saying you're supposed to get wasted just because you can. 🙂
 
Yeah, fair enough it's your birthday, but it'll be your friends memories. A tip for next years birthday, have some acting lessons in how to appear tipsy. Acting really drunk is easy, throw up then go to sleep.
 
Hope you had a great birthday! I know this might be late but this really struck a chord with me 'cause I've had similar situations over the past few years. But I can't get out of going out for my friends birthdays so I'll be damned if I spend my own birthday being in an uncomfortable situation I don't want to be in! For my 21st last year, I had some friends and family over to my house. I didn't go out despite the expectations. That's not how I have fun so I wouldn't want to do it for my birthday. I'm 22 this year and I've told my friends I want to go out for a meal. That's it. no clubs or anything. Most of them understand because they know that's just not what I like to do but some say I'm 'boring' but its my birthday not theirs 😛 Do exactly what you want to do, your friends should understand!
 
Happy Birthday for yesterday! 😀

I have to agree with the majority and say do what you want for your birthday. Like many I don't drink, I hate partying and getting wasted. The best way to get round this situation I think is to maybe go out but don't drink as much and if you've had enough after a while just call it a night. That way you've been out at least and said hello to your friends. For my birthday this year I went to a museum followed by a west end show and I couldn't have had a more perfect day. You don't have to drink to have fun, thats my motto any way. 😉
 
Thanks for the help everyone! I figured I'd be being a d*** if I didn't reply here, yuur answers to my problem really did inform my decisions. I ended up having an awesome 3-day long celebration which included the EMP museum, a zoo, alcohol, marijuana, and Buffy Season 9. 😛
 
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