Girl with Sword
Townie
I'm sorry, the title is a lie, I just needed your atention. I posted this a week ago but nobody looked because my thread title was boring as can be. Anyway, just take a look please, hopefully you'll enjoy it and I promise; no more lies:
Hello all! I hope to be a writer someday and I thought a great exercise for me would be to recap the first Buffy comic. I know the boards already have recaps but this is a bit different. It's more opinionated and (hopefully) kind of funny.
Please remember that you are reading my perspective on the whole thing so don't freak if I say something you don't agree with. I would love comments from all of you though. Especially on my grammar. I did spellcheck and looked over it a few times but mistakes are probably there.
And now...... Buffy 8x01, The Long Way Home Part 1
We come up on a beautiful picture of the sun rising over the earth as Buffy (I assume) VOs that when you change the world it becomes different. Wow! Real insight there.
She continues that everybody calls her "ma'am" nowadays. Except that I don't care because this is written below a picture of Buffy and three other slayers JUMPING FROM A HELICOPTER wearing the coolest clothes I have ever seen. It's all leather and bullet vests and black combat boots (aww, Spike luv!). Is that mandatory slayer gear. I hope it is.
One slayer has short blond hair and is wearing a backwards baseball cap so her name is Guy. The other one's name is Toby and the Big Red Hair because that is one of my favorite children's books and her hair is incredibly pouffy. The last one's name is... Awesome, that is her name. That is quite simply what she is.
We continue with Buffy telling us that there is now 1800 slayers in 10 different squads and three of her, while they shoot a force field with laser guns (?). They all jump onto the roof of some old cathedral. Buffy tells TatBRH (sorry, it would be annoying to write every time) who's name is Leah to "open her up".
Buffy goes on that one of her is underground. The other, your gonna love this! Is in ROME! Dating the IMMORTAL! Wanna know why? Because ANDREW thought it would be hilarious. Hee, hee! We love it to you little monkey!
Awesome tells Buffy that she can't see anything. Don't worry Awesome, Buffy smells something. Buffy's VO goes on to say that things aren't so hilarious in command central, a little more "what the hell am I doing" as she put's it. I guess the right word would be confusion then. As she jumps into the cathedral through a window the VO tells us that she still has demons and she still has a watcher.
We are then brought to what I assume is command central. There are slayers working at computers and two on the side maintaining some sort of shiny magic ball.
Xander's VO reminds us that he used to be in construction. His actual voice tells Buffy that whatever is inside doesn't know the girls are there. He also uses the phrase "five-by-five" and I stop to pray that all those season 8 fics with Xander and Faith getting together aren't true. Please not be true. God, please.
Xander's VO: Pay was good. Hours were way better then this. But when duty calls you don't exactly get to screen.
An African-American slayer with boy short hair tells Xander that something is going on in the Barcelona squad. Apparently the vamp nest was bigger then they thought it would be. Xander tells the slayer to get Andrew to send over his 10 best (fighters, not fashionistas and I do believe that Andrew could make that mistake). She replies with a "Yes, Mister Harris"(wait, is Xander in charge here?). We find out her name is Renee as they nerd-flirt (thank god). Xander then tells Buffy that the game is on. What game? Uno? Go Fish?
Buffy, Awesome and TatBRH (where's Guy?) come into the cathedral. There are three large, slimy looking, green demons hovering over some dead guys. Buffy VOs something about the demons needing to kill someone before she can kill them. Since when?
The slayers attack. One demon comments that Buffy lookssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
tasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssty.
Buffy says:"Thanks, I work out". Hee! I've missed this show? They all fight a little more until three other slayers (one of whom is Guy) come from behind and harpoon(?) two of the demons. Buffy grabs the big cross and holds it like a weapon(you know, the kind that Buffy might use). The demon is all like: I'm not a vampire stupid, crosses don't burn me, and Buffy's like: Ya, but see this sharp end, I'm going to plunge it into your head, that's gonna hurt.
TatBRH comments that the fight was a bit repulsive, or maybe she's talking about the goo now oozing from the demons. Buffy feels weird about using a cross to kill something. TatBRH notices that Buffy knows nothing about religion.
Awesome then notices a mark on one of the dead guys chests.Buffy sees that it isn't recent and tells Awesome (well, Satsu as we now find out, but she'll still be Awesome to me) to send a picture of it to Xander. You see, Buffy figures that the marks are self-inflicted and that the now dead guys locked themselves in with the demons.
She says this while holding a GUN by the way, what the hell? Laser guns? Harpoons? Guns? Buffy doesn't use these things! Stakes, axes, swords, pieces of random wood, pencils that's what Buffy uses!
Everyone agrees that it doesn't make sense (the guys locking themselves in with demons thing, not the weapons thing) but Buffy reassures them that the symbol will clear everything up. We pan up from the cathedral to see a pair of feet dangling in the air. Dun!
"An army" states someone in a helicopter. We go into the helicopter where a nervous guy in a suit tells General Voll (oh god, not the Initiative again) that calling whatever he's referring to an army is a bit much. The General gets all pissy and yells that THEY HAVE TO BE TOGETHER ON WHAT THEY'RE FACIN, IT HAS POWER, RESOURCES AND IDEOLOGY THAT DOES NOT JIBE WITHE AMERICAN INTERESTS, DAMMIT! I hate the General already.
The General continues that it also has a charismatic, destructive leader. And points to example A; the pig pit that once was Sunnydale. Wasn't there a beach? As for charismatic and destructive... Well, Buffy did get numerous people to fall in love with her, including ourselves. Destructive? Self-destructive maybe. The pit was Spike's doing.
Someone in a tent next to the pit techno-blabs to a guy in a hazmat suit under the runes of Sunnydale. The guy is not getting any mystical readings. He says that he's all alone in the pit as creepy hands approach him. He turns and all we see is a cracked face reflected on the glass of the hazmat suit. Then he screams, really loud.
We see the symbol and Buffy asks what it means. Xander guesses that it's a frown turned upside down. Then upside down again.
Buffy: So you think it's a frown
Xander: A guy with monocle frowning
Buffy: You're a terrible watcher
Xander: I'm not a watcher
Buffy: Well clearly
*swoon* Did I mention how much I've missed this show?
Xander tells Buffy that she needs to talk to Dawn. Buffy says "La, la I can't hear you" by musing that she thinks the symbol is a beautiful sunset. Xander repeats himself and Buffy complains that Dawn is only gonna whine (this is new?). Buffy insists that there is nothing they can do until they find Willow. Xander, shining in the light like the angel he is reminds Buffy that she could be her sister.
Buffy VO's that Xander is annoying when he's right, lucky that doesn't happen often then. But all Dawn does is gripe about her problems (this is new?!) which have apparently gotten bigger. Indeed they have. For little Dawnie is now a giant. This, of course reminding us that Dawn is always the problem.
The next page is pretty cool. It's one picture cut up into four panels. The scenery and Dawn remain constant but Buffy is in a different spot (and so is the conversation) in each panel.
Panel #1: Buffy comes in and Dawn accuses her of only coming because Xander told her to, which is true so nothing on her there. She asks if Willow has called. She hasn't.
Panel #2: Buffy tells Dawn that she could help if she knew what caused it. Dawn only wants to talk to Willow because she taught her a lot when Buffy was dead. Wait, did Buffy die again? Or is dawn talking about 3 and a half years a go? Buffy suspiciously asks what Willow taught her.
Panel #3: Dawn complains that Buffy thinks the whole giant thing is her fault. Honestly, it probably is. Buffy tells us that she was dating a thricewise. Finally we're getting somewhere. What's a thricewise? Dawn defends herself by saying that she didn't know. Buffy says; Everyone who ever met him told you, you ignorant, self-involved, whiny, idiot! Or maybe she just listed the people who told her(Buffy, Giles, TatBRH).
Panel #4: Buffy tells Dawn to get out of the barn and take a jog. Dawn tells us that they're in Scotland. She does this by whining about it of course. Dawn says that once she's "person-sized" she's leaving. Oh please make her person-sized soon. Buffy snits that she has things to do as she storms out of the barn.
They insult each other a little more on her way out. Then Buffy's VO wonders why they turn into 12 year olds when they talk. Um, because Dawn is perpetually and forever a 12 year old and has now gained the ability to make people sink to her level?
Buffy goes to the highest tower of her castle (yes, they live in a castle). She sighs that she misses her home and her mom. And the gang. And churros. And sex. Her mind wanders to Dawn who she just knows had sex with her thricwise boyfriend Kenny. She wonders why Dawn doesn't want to talk to her about it because First Time Goes Tragically Wrong is her play and she knows it backwards and forwards. She hurumphs that she can't even feel sorry for herself laterally she's so frazzled. She tells herself to suck it up because she's a big girl now.
The General peeks into some room that contains something icky. He asks the guy who was in the tent next to the pit how it's alive. Pit guy says "magic, duh". More specifically that subject #1 was keeping it alive then taking care of both of them after the destruction of Sunnydale.
The General wonders what they ate. Pit guy guesses who ever else was down there. Everybody in Sunnydale left, so what did they eat? There could have been animals killed, they could have eaten that. But animals are usually the first to leave when dangers coming. This sense of danger was so great that it seeped in to the thickest, most obligingly ignorant people in the world. Surely the animals left. Whatever, it's not important.
The General hopes that they at least had the decency to go insane. Pit guy says that they're shaken but pretty much aware. He also tells us that subject #1's first words were "I'm gonna help you kill her". The General gets that pissy face I hate and barks that he wants to know who compromised they're intel.
Pit guy reminds him about the whole magic thing. The General snipes that he doesn't like it, well I don't like you General but sometimes we have to grin and bear it. Suit (who BTW has been with us the whole time) asks if subject #1 can help them. The General just wants to know what she wants. Which is: access to they're magical hardware(?), a weapons lab for her "boy-friend", full-immunity if they succeed in killing Buffy and a lot of cheese.
The General is like "cheese... sure whatever" and asks what her name is. We get a picture of a bandaged girl starring at the sparkly magic ball she made as pit guy tells us that Amy is back. Oh, joy of joys *smacks head on table* has Joss run out of villian ideas or something?
All in all a great start for the new season. I have my complaints, I always do, but mostly I'm just glad it's back.
I hope you enjoyed it, if you want more just tell me. And if you saw a spelling/punctuation mistake tell me about that too.
Hello all! I hope to be a writer someday and I thought a great exercise for me would be to recap the first Buffy comic. I know the boards already have recaps but this is a bit different. It's more opinionated and (hopefully) kind of funny.
Please remember that you are reading my perspective on the whole thing so don't freak if I say something you don't agree with. I would love comments from all of you though. Especially on my grammar. I did spellcheck and looked over it a few times but mistakes are probably there.
And now...... Buffy 8x01, The Long Way Home Part 1
We come up on a beautiful picture of the sun rising over the earth as Buffy (I assume) VOs that when you change the world it becomes different. Wow! Real insight there.
She continues that everybody calls her "ma'am" nowadays. Except that I don't care because this is written below a picture of Buffy and three other slayers JUMPING FROM A HELICOPTER wearing the coolest clothes I have ever seen. It's all leather and bullet vests and black combat boots (aww, Spike luv!). Is that mandatory slayer gear. I hope it is.
One slayer has short blond hair and is wearing a backwards baseball cap so her name is Guy. The other one's name is Toby and the Big Red Hair because that is one of my favorite children's books and her hair is incredibly pouffy. The last one's name is... Awesome, that is her name. That is quite simply what she is.
We continue with Buffy telling us that there is now 1800 slayers in 10 different squads and three of her, while they shoot a force field with laser guns (?). They all jump onto the roof of some old cathedral. Buffy tells TatBRH (sorry, it would be annoying to write every time) who's name is Leah to "open her up".
Buffy goes on that one of her is underground. The other, your gonna love this! Is in ROME! Dating the IMMORTAL! Wanna know why? Because ANDREW thought it would be hilarious. Hee, hee! We love it to you little monkey!
Awesome tells Buffy that she can't see anything. Don't worry Awesome, Buffy smells something. Buffy's VO goes on to say that things aren't so hilarious in command central, a little more "what the hell am I doing" as she put's it. I guess the right word would be confusion then. As she jumps into the cathedral through a window the VO tells us that she still has demons and she still has a watcher.
We are then brought to what I assume is command central. There are slayers working at computers and two on the side maintaining some sort of shiny magic ball.
Xander's VO reminds us that he used to be in construction. His actual voice tells Buffy that whatever is inside doesn't know the girls are there. He also uses the phrase "five-by-five" and I stop to pray that all those season 8 fics with Xander and Faith getting together aren't true. Please not be true. God, please.
Xander's VO: Pay was good. Hours were way better then this. But when duty calls you don't exactly get to screen.
An African-American slayer with boy short hair tells Xander that something is going on in the Barcelona squad. Apparently the vamp nest was bigger then they thought it would be. Xander tells the slayer to get Andrew to send over his 10 best (fighters, not fashionistas and I do believe that Andrew could make that mistake). She replies with a "Yes, Mister Harris"(wait, is Xander in charge here?). We find out her name is Renee as they nerd-flirt (thank god). Xander then tells Buffy that the game is on. What game? Uno? Go Fish?
Buffy, Awesome and TatBRH (where's Guy?) come into the cathedral. There are three large, slimy looking, green demons hovering over some dead guys. Buffy VOs something about the demons needing to kill someone before she can kill them. Since when?
The slayers attack. One demon comments that Buffy lookssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
tasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssty.
Buffy says:"Thanks, I work out". Hee! I've missed this show? They all fight a little more until three other slayers (one of whom is Guy) come from behind and harpoon(?) two of the demons. Buffy grabs the big cross and holds it like a weapon(you know, the kind that Buffy might use). The demon is all like: I'm not a vampire stupid, crosses don't burn me, and Buffy's like: Ya, but see this sharp end, I'm going to plunge it into your head, that's gonna hurt.
TatBRH comments that the fight was a bit repulsive, or maybe she's talking about the goo now oozing from the demons. Buffy feels weird about using a cross to kill something. TatBRH notices that Buffy knows nothing about religion.
Awesome then notices a mark on one of the dead guys chests.Buffy sees that it isn't recent and tells Awesome (well, Satsu as we now find out, but she'll still be Awesome to me) to send a picture of it to Xander. You see, Buffy figures that the marks are self-inflicted and that the now dead guys locked themselves in with the demons.
She says this while holding a GUN by the way, what the hell? Laser guns? Harpoons? Guns? Buffy doesn't use these things! Stakes, axes, swords, pieces of random wood, pencils that's what Buffy uses!
Everyone agrees that it doesn't make sense (the guys locking themselves in with demons thing, not the weapons thing) but Buffy reassures them that the symbol will clear everything up. We pan up from the cathedral to see a pair of feet dangling in the air. Dun!
"An army" states someone in a helicopter. We go into the helicopter where a nervous guy in a suit tells General Voll (oh god, not the Initiative again) that calling whatever he's referring to an army is a bit much. The General gets all pissy and yells that THEY HAVE TO BE TOGETHER ON WHAT THEY'RE FACIN, IT HAS POWER, RESOURCES AND IDEOLOGY THAT DOES NOT JIBE WITHE AMERICAN INTERESTS, DAMMIT! I hate the General already.
The General continues that it also has a charismatic, destructive leader. And points to example A; the pig pit that once was Sunnydale. Wasn't there a beach? As for charismatic and destructive... Well, Buffy did get numerous people to fall in love with her, including ourselves. Destructive? Self-destructive maybe. The pit was Spike's doing.
Someone in a tent next to the pit techno-blabs to a guy in a hazmat suit under the runes of Sunnydale. The guy is not getting any mystical readings. He says that he's all alone in the pit as creepy hands approach him. He turns and all we see is a cracked face reflected on the glass of the hazmat suit. Then he screams, really loud.
We see the symbol and Buffy asks what it means. Xander guesses that it's a frown turned upside down. Then upside down again.
Buffy: So you think it's a frown
Xander: A guy with monocle frowning
Buffy: You're a terrible watcher
Xander: I'm not a watcher
Buffy: Well clearly
*swoon* Did I mention how much I've missed this show?
Xander tells Buffy that she needs to talk to Dawn. Buffy says "La, la I can't hear you" by musing that she thinks the symbol is a beautiful sunset. Xander repeats himself and Buffy complains that Dawn is only gonna whine (this is new?). Buffy insists that there is nothing they can do until they find Willow. Xander, shining in the light like the angel he is reminds Buffy that she could be her sister.
Buffy VO's that Xander is annoying when he's right, lucky that doesn't happen often then. But all Dawn does is gripe about her problems (this is new?!) which have apparently gotten bigger. Indeed they have. For little Dawnie is now a giant. This, of course reminding us that Dawn is always the problem.
The next page is pretty cool. It's one picture cut up into four panels. The scenery and Dawn remain constant but Buffy is in a different spot (and so is the conversation) in each panel.
Panel #1: Buffy comes in and Dawn accuses her of only coming because Xander told her to, which is true so nothing on her there. She asks if Willow has called. She hasn't.
Panel #2: Buffy tells Dawn that she could help if she knew what caused it. Dawn only wants to talk to Willow because she taught her a lot when Buffy was dead. Wait, did Buffy die again? Or is dawn talking about 3 and a half years a go? Buffy suspiciously asks what Willow taught her.
Panel #3: Dawn complains that Buffy thinks the whole giant thing is her fault. Honestly, it probably is. Buffy tells us that she was dating a thricewise. Finally we're getting somewhere. What's a thricewise? Dawn defends herself by saying that she didn't know. Buffy says; Everyone who ever met him told you, you ignorant, self-involved, whiny, idiot! Or maybe she just listed the people who told her(Buffy, Giles, TatBRH).
Panel #4: Buffy tells Dawn to get out of the barn and take a jog. Dawn tells us that they're in Scotland. She does this by whining about it of course. Dawn says that once she's "person-sized" she's leaving. Oh please make her person-sized soon. Buffy snits that she has things to do as she storms out of the barn.
They insult each other a little more on her way out. Then Buffy's VO wonders why they turn into 12 year olds when they talk. Um, because Dawn is perpetually and forever a 12 year old and has now gained the ability to make people sink to her level?
Buffy goes to the highest tower of her castle (yes, they live in a castle). She sighs that she misses her home and her mom. And the gang. And churros. And sex. Her mind wanders to Dawn who she just knows had sex with her thricwise boyfriend Kenny. She wonders why Dawn doesn't want to talk to her about it because First Time Goes Tragically Wrong is her play and she knows it backwards and forwards. She hurumphs that she can't even feel sorry for herself laterally she's so frazzled. She tells herself to suck it up because she's a big girl now.
The General peeks into some room that contains something icky. He asks the guy who was in the tent next to the pit how it's alive. Pit guy says "magic, duh". More specifically that subject #1 was keeping it alive then taking care of both of them after the destruction of Sunnydale.
The General wonders what they ate. Pit guy guesses who ever else was down there. Everybody in Sunnydale left, so what did they eat? There could have been animals killed, they could have eaten that. But animals are usually the first to leave when dangers coming. This sense of danger was so great that it seeped in to the thickest, most obligingly ignorant people in the world. Surely the animals left. Whatever, it's not important.
The General hopes that they at least had the decency to go insane. Pit guy says that they're shaken but pretty much aware. He also tells us that subject #1's first words were "I'm gonna help you kill her". The General gets that pissy face I hate and barks that he wants to know who compromised they're intel.
Pit guy reminds him about the whole magic thing. The General snipes that he doesn't like it, well I don't like you General but sometimes we have to grin and bear it. Suit (who BTW has been with us the whole time) asks if subject #1 can help them. The General just wants to know what she wants. Which is: access to they're magical hardware(?), a weapons lab for her "boy-friend", full-immunity if they succeed in killing Buffy and a lot of cheese.
The General is like "cheese... sure whatever" and asks what her name is. We get a picture of a bandaged girl starring at the sparkly magic ball she made as pit guy tells us that Amy is back. Oh, joy of joys *smacks head on table* has Joss run out of villian ideas or something?
All in all a great start for the new season. I have my complaints, I always do, but mostly I'm just glad it's back.
I hope you enjoyed it, if you want more just tell me. And if you saw a spelling/punctuation mistake tell me about that too.
