My Fanfic- Season 6, the lost story

eunsoma

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Dec 20, 2005
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Late Septemeber "“ 2001 (Buffy's still dead from the season 5 finale, this is a story written to be the first few episodes of season 6)

PART ONE

Minyaka walked into the Bronze, it wasn't exactly what she expected. She was told it was the only club in Sunnydale, but she'd seen at least four on the way. It didn't matter to her though, she wasn't there to party, she was there to do her job and this was a hot spot. She looked over the crowd; in the corner was a group, all of them looked depressed, this is just too easy she chuckled to herself.

Sitting down, was a red headed girl, she looked about 21. Hugging her much too affectionately to be just a friend was another woman. Minyaka saw that they were a happy couple, "˜No vengeance there, she thought.' Next to them was another couple, a man with big upper arms and a blonde woman she knew from somewhere, but didn't remember where. "˜Hmm"¦' couples everywhere, she thought.
In the corner of her eye, she could see another girl coming over, she looked only about 16 and she was obviously upset about something. The vengeance demon walked over, acting lost. "Uh hey, I'm Mina, I'm kinda new in town, and I think I've seen you around before, maybe at school? I don't really have any friends here tonight, I was looking for someone who'd maybe want to talk?"
"Oh, hi, I'm Dawn, I've lived here for years, ever since I was like 12 years old. You're new here so where are you from?"
"Me, oh here and there, originally Cleveland, but yeah, I move around a lot, my dad owns this business so we are like always on the move."
Minyaka was lieing through her teeth, she was over 700 years old and she came from Europe. The demon could sense a lot of pain coming from the girl she was talking to.
"Dawny, come on it's late" Willow called over.
"What? It's like 10.00!"
"We better be going, what would your sis- come on lets go."
"Yeah ok, sorry Mena, I'll see you at school right?"
"Yeah sure,bye Dawn."


*****
This is the first part of my first ever real fic, so tell me what you think, but try to be nice lol.
 
PART TWO

"Dawny the hardest thing in this world, is to live in it."
Dawn woke up in a sweat, she missed Buffy so much, more than she missed her own mother. Dawn stood up and walked into Buffy's old room, to find the Buffy-bot was missing. There was a note though.
"Gawn to pattrol, and ravish Spyke" it read. So the Buffy-bot can't spell she thought, it's not like she needs to. Dawn went back into her bedroom and got dressed, she knew exactly where to find the Buffy-bot. Checking to see if Willow and Tara were awake, she peered into their room, they were fast asleep. "˜I'll just go and get her and bring her home', thought Dawn.

Dawn kept checking behind her every few seconds, walking the streets of Sunnydale was very risky. The cemetery looked deserted, but Dawn knew that the Buffy-bot would be in there. Dawn could hear footsteps now, she looked behind, but no one was there. Dawn was terrified. As she walked to Spike's crypt, she passed Buffy's grave.

"˜She saved the world, a lot.'

It killed Dawn to read this, the pain she felt inside was so overpowering, "Buffy, it's me. I hope you can hear me, I'm scared, and I miss you."
Dawn heard footsteps again, "Willow?" she asked, "Buffy, Buffy-bot, it's me, Dawn."
There was no answer, Dawn kept talking. Minyaka was watching Dawn through the trees, "come on, make a wish, I'm bored. D'hoffrin isn't gonna like it if I teleported all the way to the hellmouth for nothing"¦"
Dawn turned around "Who's that?! I'm the Slayer you know; I'll stake your ass! Well your heart but still, I kill people, I have sex with vampires! Get lost!"
Minyaka sat silently. Dawn inspected the area, "˜It's my mind,' she thought.
"Buffy, I miss you so much, I love you, and I wish youould come back!"
Minyaka almost jumped when she heard this, "Ha? Did I hear wish, this could be good, WISH GRANTED."
 
PART THREE

"Dawn! My sister Dawn! Run, there's a vampire and I'm injured, we need to get to Willow!" Over from in the distance Dawn could see someone running towards her, it was the Buffy-bot. Dawn ran as fast as she could to catch the robot. "You're my sister Dawn, I won't let him hurt you!" the Buffy-bot promised.
"Oh, thanks Buffy" said Dawn. The vampire was gaining on Dawn, the Buffy-bot stopped. "You don't want her, I'm the Slayer."
The vampire turned to the Buffy-bot. She kicked it in the face, throwing it into the cemetery wall. It looked up at her, "You're dead Slayer!" The vampire grabbed the Buffy-bot and tried to strangle her, it was useless, but the vampire wasn't aware of this. "I do not require air to live."
"Buffy!" yelled Dawn. "You do so!"
"Oh yeah, I do. Watch me," The Buffy-bot took a big breathe and exhaled almost instantly. "That's better!"
"You're weired Slayer!" said the vampire as it backed away.
"Uh ah, don't you go anywhere," yelled the Buffy-bot as she took out a stake.
The vampire turned to run, but the Buffy-bot threw the stake directly into it's back, piercing it's heart. They watched the vamp explode into a pile of dust, "Perfect," said Dawn, "Now let's get you home."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the cemetery something was happening. There was a bright green light pulsating around Buffy Summer's grave. There was a blinding white glow, which slowly began to fade into the figure of a woman, it was Buffy, she was back"¦
 
PART FOUR

"Dawny is that you sweetie?!" Yelled a voice from upstairs, it was Tara, she had obviously woken up. "Hey Tara, it's me, I'm ok."

Another voiced overpowered the both of them, "Dawn! Where were you? Get your ass inside, god what were you thinking going off in the middle of the night like that on your own? You could have gotten killed, god we were having sex and we had to stop to come over here you know!"
"Anya!" yelled Xander "Stop!"
"Dawnie, what she's saying is right, what were you thinking?" Xander asked.
"Stop, she's my sister! Leave her alone, Dawn was visiting Buffy, the other Buffy!" said the bot.
"I needed to go, you guys have each other, I have no body, and no-one even cares."
"Dawny, it's ok, we love you, you know that, maybe you should have woken us that's all, but you're ok," Tara said trying to calm Dawn. Tara cared for Dawn like her own sister, the two had bonded instantly when Willow introduced them and she loved Dawn.
"I don't care, I'm going to bed." Dawn said as she stomped upstairs.

She could still hear the rest of the scoobies talking about her, she wasn't just a little girl like they all thought, she wanted to prove she was powerful.
"Buffy?!" she heard someone yell. "Buffy is it you?!" It, was Willow, the excitement in her voice was overwhelming. "Oh my god it's her, Buffy, it's me Willow, remember?!"
Dawn walked to the end of the stairs to see what the commotion was. She knew Buffy couldn't be there, not the real Buffy anyway. She couldn't exactly see what was happening, was it really her sister, was she dreaming or was it the Buffy-bot?
"Buffy!" Dawn yelled, she ran down the stairs and hugged her sister. It's really you?"
"Dawnie." Was all Buffy said, she just hugged her.
"Buffy how are you back? I missed you so much, it's so strange I just visited your-"
Dawn could sense something about Buffy, she was in great pain, her eyes were pools of tears just waiting to come out. "Buffy what's wrong?" asked Dawn.
"Oh sorry Dawnie, it's nothing, I'm just a little overwhelmed, tired too."
"Yeah, I mean jet lagged from the ride from hell right? You go sleep!" Anya said.
"Hell?" Buffy responded with great sadness, "I think I was in heaven."

PART FIVE

"Willow, did you do this?" asked Xander.
"No! I promise, I would have told you!"
"It's just, we talked about doing it and now, well we didn't have to."
"She didn't do it, I'd know Tara defended. "Buffy are you ok? Do you feel ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I need to sleep."
Everyone seemed to have worried looks on their faces, Buffy knew it was because of her being back and all, but she couldn't help it, she felt like heaven had betrayed her, and now she didn't want to comfort others.
Suddenly, the door swung open, "Willow! I told you to fix the bloody thing! Why is it still coming to me?!" The anger in this mans voice barely compared to the sadness in it.
"I did, I took out everything about you, she doesn't even remember the times you "˜ravished' her!" Willow answered a little sarcastically.
"Bollocks! She came to my crypt tonight!" the name argued.
"Spike! Enough, there's more important things happening!" yelled Xander. "Look, who's here!"
Spike glanced at Buffy, "yeah whatever I saw the bleeding bot just before, what's all the excitement?!"
A voice came from behind them both, "Spike! It's Spike! Do you mean me Spike? I am the bleeding bot. I think Xander is referring to the other Buffy, But don't worry you still have washboard abs!"
Spike turned back slowly to the real Buffy, "Slayer, it's you?"
"Yeah Spike, it's me, I'm back."
"Willow! How? You, did you do this?" Spike asked angrily.
"No, she didn't do a thing, you better back off!" Tara said rather defensively.
"The witch had something to do with it I know it! You all trust red, bollocks!"
"Spike, I think you'd better go," Dawn said.
"Wait, Slayer, I missed you." Spike edged towards Buffy, he meant what he was about to do more than anything he'd ever done.
"What the hell are you doing?" she asked, shocked.
"Bloody h, oh that's right Spike's not good enough for Buffy. I looked after Dawn the whole time you were gone! You ungrateful bint, oh but Angel was good enough, he had a soul! Look at him now!"
Buffy looked up, "What does this have to do with Angel? Spike I don't love you."
"Well you know your ex hunny, not so cuddly anymore; he's back to his old tricks!"
Spike stomped out the house swearing as he left.
 
****"Bollocks! She came to my crypt tonight!" the name argued.
Sorry sub 'name' with 'man'... I was tired lol
 
Hey! Does anyone want me to continue this because no one has really made any comments at all, I don't care if you's don't like it, but I still want to hear you all say it! I have some good stuff I've planned to come but if no-one is really reading it anyway i don't know if i should bother... Can you please give me a sign! Lol thanks
 
PART SIX

Buffy stood up, "Guys, is this true?" she looked at each and every one of their faces, she knew what Spike had said had been the truth. "I need to go there. If he's evil I need to stop him. Willow, sorry to ask but"¦"
"Don't worry, I'll come I need to re-insoul him, don't say sorry it's the first spell I ever learned, I'd be offended if you didn't ask."
"Good, let's go." Buffy said hurriedly as she ran up the stairs, "get some stuff!"
"But don't you think we should wait till tomorrow?" yelled Willow.
Buffy came running back down the stairs with some stuff in her bag, and went straight for the weapons chest. She took a broad sword and a crossbow, as well as two stakes and some holy-water.
"Now way," she replied "We're going now, it's Angelus Willow, people could die by tomorrow, and I can't have that." Buffy walked into the lounge room, everyone was sitting in there. "Look guys, I know I just got back and stuff, but this is way important, if we don't stop him now, it's only gonna get worse."
"Buffy, can't Cordelia and the L.A. guys take care of it, I mean we're on a hellmouth here, and we don't have our two strongest members." Xander said, he was worried about the Scoobies and he knew Buffy didn't have the clearest judgment, especially now.
"Xander, I'm sorry but we're going. I've always fought what came up against me, I've always won, Angelus I'm familiar with, and I think I can help, Willow is going to be the major key to stopping him, sorry but it's not up for discussion."
Dawn stood up, ready to speak, "Buffy, if it helps, I think you should go, kick his ass."
Buffy looked at Xander, she'd remembered him tell her this line from years ago, she smiled and said her good byes.
Buffy was waiting in the car, it had been almost 10 minutes before Willow came out.
"Geez, what'd you pack for come on all ready," she teased as Willow got in.
Buffy laughed, but Willow didn't, she looked worried.
"Buffy, don't you think you're rushing into things a little too quickly, I mean 2 hours ago you were dead and now your planning to drive to L.A."
"Willow, it's ok, I'm ok. I'm better than ok, I'm dandy."
The two women were far out of Sunnydale traveling on dirt roads. Buffy just stared at the road, keeping concentration, but Willow didn't know if she was trying to drive safely or it was something more. She could sense Buffy's sadness, Willow tried really hard to read her mind, she knew it wasn't the best thing to do, and it was very intrusive, but she didn't want to ask what was wrong, and she felt stupid asking a question like that. She knew Buffy had just come back to earth from heaven, and she knew what it must have felt like, to be in perfect peace and be ripped out to find yourself winding up in hell, well the closest thing to it, the hellmouth.
Willow concentrated on Buffy really hard, she could hear her thoughts, "What the hell is happening, first I get throw out of heaven straight back down to this hole. When this is over, I'm gonna go back there".
Willow's face looked shocked, Buffy realized what was happening by the look on her face, "Did I think something wrong? Willow stop doing that, please. I'm just stressed at the moment."
"Buffy! Don't think that! You aren't gonna go back! Suicide is a sin you know!" Willow yelled, still shocked by what Buffy was thinking.
"Don't worry, I would never do that, I still have people to protect, plus this world aint that bad, killing stuff, Choc fudge cookie mint chip, what's not to love?" Buffy assured her.
"Good, I just don't like to hear that, something brought you back Buffy, I'm betting a higher power, and that means you got a purpose here, not everyone can say that. You're special Buffy, not just the Slayer part of you, the Buffy Summers part, the part we all love, Slayers die Buffy, you know the rules, another one's called when the old one dies. Buffy you died, twice, but you're not dead still, something out there has got to want you alive, something powerful, and it's personal because they could just get a new Slayer. "
Buffy had begun cry, "Aw, Willow I love you, and you're my best friend."
Willow just smiled, as to say she felt the same. "So Buffy, you said you went to heaven right, what was it like?" Willow asked curiously.
Buffy looked at her a little strangely, "Well, it was disorienting, after the thing with Glory when I jumped, I stopped for a little, I was nothing, but when I came to, it wasn't like anywhere I'd ever been, the beings there were all just energy, there wasn't physical form and there were no worries. Time wasn't relevant. I didn't have feelings, no feelings except for complete bliss. I knew that you guys were ok, everybody I cared about was ok, I just had this assurance you know. Anyway can we talk about somethinse now, anything but this?"
Willow looked at Buffy, she knew how disappointed Buffy was and Willow herself was now crying inside. "So do you think Angelus is like he used to be?"
"Yeah probably, I can't see a vamp like him changing his act after 250 years," Buffy answered. She breathed heavily, "here we go," she said.
The sign read: Los Angeles, City of Angels
 
PART SEVEN

L.A.'s lights were shining like Buffy had always remembered them to. "Wow, big place," commented Buffy as she got out of the car at the Hyperion Hotel. "It's better than their last one. Have you seen this place before Will?"
"Yeah, I was here when, when you died, I told them what happened"¦" the mood went sad again, "but it's really nice inside!" Willow said gleefully.
Buffy heard a woman screaming from inside, "That doesn't exactly sound nice Willow!" she ran to the doors and kicked them open, "Where is he?!" she yelled in her angriest voice.
Inside was Wesley Wyndham Price, Buffy's old watcher and a skinny woman she'd never seen before, the woman stood with her mouth open, while Wesley just stared.
"Hey guys," said Willow from behind Buffy, "how's it goin?"
Wesley spoke, "Buffy, Willow what are you doing here?"
Before they could answer, the petit woman spoke "hi Willow! How are ya'll doing at the hell mouth?"
Wesley looked at her with an almost shocked expression; it was the first real words he'd heard her say since she came from her room. She had just been rescued by Angel and the gang from a hell dimension called Pylea, and she no longer really trusted people, or herself.
"Oh hey Fred, how are you adjusting, you look a lot better since I'd seen you last." Willow stated.
"You guys know each other? I'm Buffy, now we've passed the pleasantries, how bout we catch ourselves a soulless vampire, who's with me?" Buffy said sarcastically. In complete disregard of the point Buffy was trying to make, Fred simply answered "you're Buffy, didn't you die?"
Wesley looked puzzled, "yes Buffy, what happened, how are you back?"
Buffy just answered "We don't know, all we know is it happened last night." Changing the subject said "Anyway, I heard screaming; we thought he was here, what was all the noise?" Everybody looked to Fred.
"Sorry, that was me, I have a fear of ink on my hands, and the pen was leaking."
Buffy heard a door close on one of the higher levels "Is someone up there?" she asked.
"Yeah Fa-" Fred partly answered before being cut off by Wesley.
"No, no one is up there, the hotel is haunted, the ghosts aren't evil they're just a little noisy sometimes," he answered cautiously..
"Wesley I'm sure I just saw someone up there."
Then from behind her, Buffyheard a voice, a voice of someone familiar to her, she turned around to see Faith standing at the top of the stairs.
"Hey B! I'm on it, go home!" she yelled down from the second level.
 
PART EIGHT

"What the hell is this?! Wesley what the hell are you doing bringing this CRIMINAL to help you? She belongs in jail for the rest of her life!" Buffy yelled angrily.
"Buffy, if you will listen here for a second, we didn't exactly know you were alive or of course we would have asked for your help, and we figured that Willow and the rest of them had their hands full in Sunnydale."
"Yeah B, what we can't work together? Boy was that a stupid question." Faith said almost sarcastically.
"No! We can't, I don't work with killers like you. I hate you, and if you don't get out of my way, I'll call the police."
Faith didn't like the idea of Buffy threatening her. "Is that right? Well let me tell you I'm not going anywhere, Angel is the only person who never gave up on me, and I'm not gonna give up on him either."
Buffy looked up at her again, her eyes were like daggers, it made Faith feel horrible. "I swear I will not work with you on this, I can do it myself"¦ Willow are you with me?"
"Uh Buffy, of course I'm with you but another slayer could be a big help I mean if you would work together maybe you'd have more luck."

The door flung open, a big black man Buffy had never seen before ran through it, he was carrying an unconscious Cordelia Chase, an old friend of Buffy's in his arms, "Wes! Get some bandages, she's bleeding badly!"
"What happened?" Yelled Wes as he ran for the first aid kit behind the desk.
"What do you think? Angelus bit her! Quick, she's lost a lot of blood!"
Willow rushed over "Move, I'm not gonna let her die, but I need some space." She put her hand over Cordy's neck punctures, and started residing some Latin, Buffy knew it was magic talk. Gunn stood and watched, he knew she was a witch, but he was wondering just how much power she had. The holes in Cordy's neck began to close up, and she slowly opened her eyes, blinking a few times. "What happened..?" she said as she regained consciousness. "I can remember Angel, I mean Angelus, and he bit me." Cordelia started to weep as she sat up. "Cordy, its ok, you're ok, Willow here saved you." Gunn told her. "I know who she is" she said smugly "I went to school with her for 12 years." Willow gave her a smile, Cordelia gave one back.
"Thank you Willow, I see you've gotten good with the magic now. You saved my life, I owe you one." She said.
Buffy looked at Cordelia funny, had she really changed, or was it just she was grateful? The Cordelia she knew in high school was the queen of all the popular and nasty girls, the one she was seeing now though, was completely different.
"Hi Cordy," she said, breaking the ice a little.
"Hi Buffy, it's good to see you alive! I thought, well Willow told us that you were dead but obviously not right?"
"Oh, I was, but I came back. None of us know why yet," answered the Slayer, a little saddened by the whole topic.
"Well, hey at least you're not dead, and for a chick that was just six feet under, your hair is really shiny!" Cordelia said, trying to lighten the mood a little.
Faith interrupted, "Ok are we gonna go on and on about this crap all day or are we gonna use our Slayer strength to kick some vampire ass?!"
Everybody looked upon Faith as rude first, but then realized she had a point.
"Ok, here's what's gonna happen, it's me and Willow patrolling downtown, Wes and uh"¦ Fred right? You guys head down to the pier. Cordelia, Gunn, Faith you guys head out from here in a 10 mile radius, we're gonna find him and restore him before sunrise. Load up with weapons, let's go!"
Gunn looked straight at Buffy as to say who the hell are you to tell us what to do but the only words which came out were "Excuse me?"
"Don't bother," Faith said. "You aint gonna win and there's more important things to deal with. Let's go."
Gunn shrugged his shoulders and walked to the weapons cabinet, he took out his home made scythe and looked at it with pride, "We should have never took the guy back after he ditched us last year."
Cordy turned around quickly "Hey Gunn, what happened to Angel wasn't his fault, you know that, the monks at that retrethat YOUR cousin sent him to did it to him, they stole his soul, so don't let me hear you say that again."
Gunn just rolled his eyes and opened the door to leave, "Coming?" He said sarcastically.
"Of course I am you big dummy," Cordelia answered as she giggled and followed.
 
OK, first of all, let me begin by saying i like the story.
I'm enjoying the development, and there is a certain level of believability to the story, even though we know its wrong(AU sometimes kicks ass...lol).
There are some issues i have with the story, however, that i would address with you.
Structure for instance.

I'll give you two examples of what i mean and how to remedy it.
"Yeah, I was here when, when you died, I told them what happened"¦" the mood went sad again, "but it's really nice inside!" Willow said gleefully.
This line, though does manage to get across the emotion, does feel like a mish mash of words.
Here is how i would have written this.

"Yes, I was here when you died," Willow said, in a sombre tone, "I had to tell Angel about....."
Willow broke off for a second. The painful memory still strong in her.
"But, its kinda nice inside," she continued with a forced enthusiasm."

Now, all i did there was split these two parts of one line and give the reader time to digest each individually.
You can never over write something like this as long as you stay true to the scene.


Inside was Wesley Wyndham Price, Buffy's old watcher and a skinny woman she'd never seen before, the woman stood with her mouth open, while Wesley just stared.
"Hey guys," said Willow from behind Buffy, "how's it goin?"
Wesley spoke, "Buffy, Willow what are you doing here?"
Before they could answer, the petit woman spoke "hi Willow! How are ya'll doing at the hell mouth?"
Wesley looked at her with an almost shocked expression; it was the first real words he'd heard her say since she came from her room. She had just been rescued by Angel and the gang from a hell dimension called Pylea, and she no longer really trusted people, or herself.

This part is quite confusing. You are flitting too much between peoples without giving the reader the change to understand whats happening.
For instnace, here you have Buffy monologue not knowing who Fred is, then without even taking a breath, we have a Wesley monlogue telling the reader that Fred hasn't really been out of her room.

I find you are best off in situations like this to take one persons perspective and have anything that person doesnt know, explained to them.
It may take longer to write, but again, if its true to the scene, you can't over write it ever.


There is also a mild issue with tense.
eg
"Oh hey Fred, how are you adjusting, you look a lot better since I'd seen you last." Willow stated.

Willow is talking from her perception of that moment, yet 'I'd seen you last' suggests another time previous she is talking about, not the first time, but a time inbetween then and now.

The flow would have been easier like

"Oh hey Fred, how are you adjusting to life in the human world? Your look a lot better then the last time i saw you." Willow stated with a smile.

Its only minor issues, that you will resolve cause your still a newbie, and i mean what do i know, i mean its not like i'm the Storyteller 2006 award winner...ohh wait, LOL.

But seriously, i hope this helps, you know where to find me if you want more help. I look forward to reading more.
 
thanks a lot BotD, that's some good advice, I'll take it all in.

Anyway can some more people please give me some feedback?!

^^Lol see BotD dead, I let the reader digest each part with the line in between. lol in all seriousness, thanks a lot for the feedback.
 
PART NINE

Fred and Wesley walked on the pier, it was full of people. At this time of year, getting towards the colder months, it was normally a little more deserted, but tonight the carnival was full of people.
"Hey Wes," said Fred "This is the first time I've been out or the hotel since Pylea. After Angel went evil I just locked myself up in my room. I want to thank you."
Wesley was flattered, he didn't exactly know why though, but he had been quite attracted to Fred since he'd met her, so it didn't particularly matter, but out of curiosity he asked "For what?"
"For helping me get out a little, I don't want to be shy, crazy girl Wesley."
"Next time I take you out, we'll go somewhere tasteful ok?" Wesley said jokingly.
"Sure, count on it," answered Fred with a big smile.
It pleased Wesley to hear Fred agree to go out again.

Across the other side of town, Buffy and Willow were walking the streets together, searching for Angelus in every demony looking bar they could see.
"Do you think we'll find him?" asked Willow.
"Honestly, I think that if he doesn't want to be found he won't be." Buffy was sorry to say.
"Hey! Wait up!" someone was screaming out from behind.
Buffy and Willow turned around, it was Faith, she'd been running. She caught her breath. "Jeez, I gotta quit smoking." Buffy looked at her up and down.
"What do you want Faith, haven't I made myself clear enough to you?" Buffy asked angrily.
Faith looked at Buffy and sighed. "Well, Cordelia had a vision, so her and Gunn are on that for now. I didn't wanna go, I figured you guys could use me. Angelus is bound to be around this place somewhere."
"No Faith. We don't want you here, get out of my sight!" Buffy yelled.
"Willow?" Faith said as if to say "˜back me up here'.
"Buffy, I know you two aren't friends, you don't have to be, but please, just do this, as soon as we do it, we can go home, and she would be helpful." Willow said almost pleading.
"Ok, whatever. I'm warning you don't get in my way Faith, really!"

*****

Willow looked at the alley she was walking passed, she could feel something, it wasn't magic, it was something else, she had a feeling Angelus was in there. "Buffy, Faith, I'm going to look down there ok," said Willow as she pointed down the alley "You two please act like grown ups and don't fight."
"Sure Willow, I'm not the one you need to warn anyway," said Faith smugly.
Willow turned and walked down they alley.
"You know what Faith, maybe if you didn't kill people and try to take everything in my life every time we met, I wouldn't hate you and therefore I wouldn't want to fight all the time." Buffy said.
This comment was like a dagger getting Faith right in the heart.
"You know what B?! Not every little thing is about you, I apologized to you I did everything I could to make it up, but you don't get over a thing do you? I was vulnerable at the time all that happened!" Faith yelled.
"Oh yeah, don't even try it, I'm so vulnerable I might go KILL someone! That's really smart isn't it?" Buffy answered angrily.
"B, don't push it, I'm warning you, I don't wanna fight but if you don't shut your mouth I'll "“" Faith threatened before she was cut off.
"You'll do what? I'll beat you all over this city. Go on Faith throw a punch! Come on a punch is nothing, you're a murderer!" Buffy kept taunting Faith hoping she'd break.
Faith looked her in the eye "You know what, you're right!" Faith threw the strongest punch she could build up at the time, almost knocking Buffy over.
"What am I scrambling to be like you for? You're the last thing I'd want to be like!" She yelled as she walked over to Buffy while she was getting up and punched her in the jaw again. Buffy fell back down. Faith went to throw another punch to the face, and then Buffy caught it, and reversed the attack on her by kicking her in the knee, making her fall. Faith screamed in pain, yet soon rose to her feet again. "You're sick! I'm disgusted by you!" yelled Buffy so everybody could hear. She grabbed Faith by the hair, held her head back and punched her smack in the middle of her face. Faith elbowed Buffy to the nose and broke free, then went to throw another punch, but she was stopped by something.
"SEPARATE!" she heard. Both Slayers flew back into walls on either side of Willow.
"What the hell are you doing she attacked me?!" yelled Buffy as she rose to her feet.
"Get lost you came at me!" Faith yelled defensively.
"I don't care!" said Willow, and she was serious, Buffy had never seen Willow so angry before, her eyes were like fire. "If you want to fight, go somewhere else and do it, I can take care of this by myself, but don't do it on my time. I have more important things to do, do you understand?" Faith looked straight at Willow, she wanted to say something rude back, but she held back, she knew she could crush Willow in a fist fight, but nowadays Willow was a lot more powerful than any Slayer could ever be.
"Yeah, sorry," said Faith.
"Buffy, how bout you?" asked Willow, obviously still frustrated.
"Ok, yeah you're right, there's more important stuff to do," Buffy agreed.
"Good," said Willow, a little relieved "now let's find ourselves an Angelus."
Then, from above, somebody spoke, "Well, sorry girls. The thing is, you weren't really doing a good job finding me, so I found you."
All three of them looked up; it was Angelus, holding a human corpse it looked like he'd just killed.
"So then get your ass down here and have a go!" yelled Faith.
"In a sec!" he answered. He threw the female corpse down from off the roof, and jumped down straight after. Buffy looked at the body with disgust, and then looked into Angelus's eyes with disbelief. "Aww, sorry Buff, you haven't seen me kill people for a long while, ever since you sent me to hell. Gee time flies doesn't it, those were the days. Don't worry, you'll pay for that!"
"So how bout it leather pants, we gonna fight or what?" Faith asked, mocking Angelus as she stepped towards him.
"Faith, you were never my favorite slayer, but you'll do, for now." Faith threw a punch at Angels face, pushing him backwards. "Wow! Anyone got a leash for this one?" he yelled.
Faith just glared at him, "We're gonna get l back, and when we do, you'll never come back again!"
"What's a matter Faith, don't you like me? A few years ago you wanted this; you tried to meet the great Angelus, but not even Angel was gonna touch you!" Angelus mocked.
Faith ran at him, but he caught her out and threw a punch right into her face, she slammed into a dumpster, hitting her head, knocked out cold.
"Faith!" yelled Willow, she ran over to Faith and tried to help her.
"Looks like it's only me and you now lover," Angelus said to Buffy.
 
PART TEN

"Seeing I can't kill you, again, I just gotta settle for causing you pain." Buffy said, and then blanked. She had remembered saying something similar to Glory before she died.
Coming back to, she saw a boot aimed for her face about to collide wit her, she ducked. While in a lowered position, she threw a heck of an uppercut into Angelus's chin, throwing him backwards. "Whoa! Easy tiger, that almost hurt!"
"Almost?" asked Buffy as she threw three punches to Angelus's head, all hitting the target.
Angelus fell to the floor, motionlessly. Willow, come on, we need to get him back so you can do the spell. Let's get go-" Buffy said, before being cut off.
Angelus rose quickly and grabbed Buffy from behind, she struggled, and he gagged her with his hand, and then bit into her neck.
Willow saw Buffy getting the life sucked out of her, she was helpless. Willow had to do something to save her friends life; she wasn't prepared to lose her again. She rose to her feet and began an incantation: "Llueva agua bendita"¦"
Willow's eyes turned black, her head shot upwards and she began to repeat her words: "Llueva agua bendita. Llueva agua bendita." Buffy felt droplets hit her hair, and Angel dropped her. The spell she cast was to create rain of holywater to temporarily shower Angelus. It worked better than she thought. Angelus screamed in pain, steam coming off of his body and holy water burning like acid through his clothes. He ran away yelling and swearing.
Faith had regained consciousness and picked up Buffy, to carry her back to the hotel. Faith began to run, "Wait!" yelled Willow, "Don't run, it'll take to long, come on, we can take this car!" Willow stared at the car, "Open!" she commanded, "Jump in Faith, come on!"
"And you guys think I'm bad?" Faith said almost jokingly. She layed Buffy across the back seat and jumped in.
Faith clutched Buffy's hand, "hold on," she whispered. Buffy looked into Faiths eyes, "you'll be ok," Faith assured her, as she ripped of a piece of her shirt and held it to the wound to stop the blood, keeping the pressure on.

******

Faith ran inside the hotel, and laid Buffy down on one of the couches in the foyer. "Willow! Get your ass over here and heal her!" Faith yelled across the lobby.
Willow was looking for the medical kit! "I can't, I tried before and it's not working! I think I've used all my juice!" Willow rushed over with some disinfectant and a bandage. "Put this on her, I'm gonna call the others," Willow ordered.
Faith cleaned up the wound, and looked at Buffy, Buffy looked back up at her. "You're gonna be fine," said Faith, "can't say the same for your white top though."
"Thanks for this," said Buffy, and she really meant it, Faith could tell.
"It's cool, don't sweat it, you need to rest, come on let's get you upstairs." Faith lifted Buffy up.
"Hey Will, Buffy's ok, I stopped the bleeding she'll be fine I'm gonna take her upstairs and put her in Fred's bed ok, Angelus can't get in there, they did the un-invitation spell on her room."
"Ok, good thinking," said Willow "Some rest will do her good, she'll be fine, she's tough."

PART ELEVEN

Buffy lied in Fred's bed, fast asleep, she dreamed of terrible things, mostly all different things, demons, vampires, but the one familiar face she saw was the Master's. It'd been years since Buffy had had a nightmare about the Master, and several months since she'd even thought about him. Buffy woke up horrified, she knew her dreams were often prophetic and she really did not want to deal with the master at this time of her life. The only other weird things Buffy saw were Willow and Xander, but in vampire form, this scared her most, her best friends as demons. She'd remembered how much it scared her when Willow had a doppelganger vampire a few years ago. She awoke and looked out the window, the sun was bright, somewhere out there was Sunnydale, she knew if the master was arising, it'd be there and she knew she needed to get back so she could protect the people.
For the time being, Buffy had to sleep, it was the only way she'd be able to defeat Angelus.

******

Downstairs, the rest of the L.A. group were talking about what was to be done.
"What exactly happened when you came in contact with Angelus?" asked Wesley.
"I'll tell you what happened, her knocked me out, COLD, and then bit Buffy!" Faith answered, "We need a better plan, or he's gonna kill us all!"
Fred had a worried look on her face, "Is Buffy ok?"
"Yeah, she'll be fine, don't worry." Willow assured Fred; they smiled at each other, with a mutual understanding.
"Getting back to plan, I think it's obvious what we have to do." Wesley said.
"We need to get him back! We know that! It's just how?" stated Cordelia.
"No Cordy, we need to kill Angelus, it's too late to bring him back. He's killed people, it's just too late Cordy," said Gunn.
"He's right Cordy," said Wesley.
"NO. He's not." Everybody looked up towards the second level, it was Buffy, and she was dressed to kill. "We aren't gonna kill him. We're gonna get him back, the only way I know how, but this time, I'm coming out on top, we're coming out on top."
"Wow, that's how I remember her in the old days, the days of the big mayor snake," Cordelia whispered to Willow.
Willow smiled at her, "You should hear her inspirational speeches."
Buffy walked down the stairs, "You feeling better Buffy?" asked Willow.
"I'm fine, but I'm gonna be finer when I beat him back." Buffy was ready to get Angelus back, she was looking a lot like she did around every March, big, bad, angry, and ready to kick some ass. "Faith, Willow, you're with me, we are gonna get onto the street and find him. Will, get your magicks happening because you're gonna be the one to do the spell. Gunn since you're pretty much the muscle here you're with the rest of "˜em, you're gonna need to protect them. All you guys stay here, last time Angel was evil he went for the guys who were close to Angel, last time that was mainly me, kinda you two as well Will and Cordy, but now it's pretty much all of you guys, so be careful and don't stray from each other."
"Sounds like a plan," said Cordy, "maybe Lorne could get over here and some of his "acts' could do the sanctuary spell here, you know the no demon violence thing?"
"Good thinking Cordelia, I'll make the call now," said Wesley.
"Oh, sanctuary, hmm, I think I've heard of it, makes a barrier when any type of demon violence happens, there's one for human violence too, you guys should try and install it." Willow said.
"Ok, you guys do that, we gotta go," said Buffy impatiently.
Buffy, Faith and Willow left, the door closed behind them.
"Good luck," said Fred.
 
I will say this...the story itself is a good idea, I think you have a couple problems with fleshing it out. Also, I think it's moving along a little too quickly, with not much room for explanation. You seem to have a grasp on everyone's character, but again, you don't detail a lot of things. Maybe for the next few chapters you could try adding a little more detail, and maybe work with the structure a little like Dia was talking about. Also, trying spacing things out a little better - I'm finding it kinda mishy to read.

All in all, though, I think it's a smart concept. It has potiental to be great, you just gotta work on it a little more.
 
okay, thanks. I don't think im made for fic writing lol im trying pretty hard
anyway thanks for the feedback its go to hear some 🙂🙂
 
PART TWELVE

"Look B, I don't want to say anything to piss you off but what makes you sure we are gonna do any better than last time?" asked Faith cautiously.
Willow looked into Buffy's eyes as if to say the same thing, she had a worried look on her face. "Maybe we should think this through a little more," said Willow. "If Angelus comes out on top again I can't even do that holy rain spell at the moment I am all out of magicks, I don't even know if I could do a locator right now Buffy."
Buffy stopped and stood in front of the them, "Look, we are gonna win this time because I say we are, I could take Angelus over 3 years ago and I am currently in the best physical shape I've ever been in, something tells me I'll win."
"Ok, but your gut better be givin' you the right feeling here B." Faith said.

*******
The women walked down a quiet road, which seemed to lead to a busy one. Patrolling up the road Buffy could sense a few of the people around her as vampires, but she didn't care at the moment. When the women came to a demon bar, Buffy led them in.
Willow looked around in disgust. The stench of yak's urine and amount of kittens being gambled was extravagant. Buffy looked around, scanning the bar.
"He's not here Buffy," said Willow.
Buffy looked like she'd found what she was looking for, she stomped past everyone and walked over to a quiet wimpy looking demon. All the other demons started to leave.
"Hey there buddy, got a minute?" asked Buffy.
"A minute for a human? No way. Get lost before I pay someone here to kill you girly girl." The demon replied staring at the television, not actually looking to see Buffy.
Buffy grabbed his hand and twisted it behind his back in a quick move. "Talk or I'll kill you," said Buffy bluntly.
The demons green eyes were almost popping out of its head. "Okay I'll talk, I'll talk. God what do you want from me?" The demon had a red complexion, was dressed in crappy clothes and its skin was horny and rigid.
"I wanna find a guy, name's Angelus, you heard of him right?" Buffy asked.
"Angelus, hmm, Angelus who?" asked the demon.
Buffy twisted his arm just a little more. "Waste my time again and your arm is gonna come off!" Buffy threatened angrily.
"Okay stop! Stop! He was here less than five minutes ago I swear! He left the back way! Go find him, kill him!" The demon said, Buffy knew it was true, she just slugged him in the face and led the way out. "Thanks."
Behind the bar was an alley way, but it was deserted. "Bastard!" said Buffy, "he lied to me!"
"Buffy wait!" said Faith, "listen, can you hear something?"
"No, let's go!" yelled Buffy.
"Buffy shut up and listen!" ordered Faith. She was looking like a dog with its ears up.
Everything was silent"¦
"Ahhh! What's wrong with your face?!" the three girls heard another girl they didn't recognize say. Buffy almost jumped, she broke a wooden chair and took one of the legs, and it was pointed on the end, just like a stake.
The 3 women ran over.
Faith pulled the girl away from Angelus. "She's not hurt, just in shock! Willow, come here take care of her!" yelled Faith.
"I didn't think you'd heal so quick after last time lover. Almost killed you there slayer, you'd better watch out," Angelus said sarcastically.
"Yeah ok, fair enough," replied Buffy, Angelus looked at her as if to be waiting for a snappy come back. "But, the only thing is, rules change this time," she said, with a slight zest in her tone.
"Is that right?" Angelus asked smugly.
"Yeah, because this time: I get to kill ya, again," she said. Buffy wasn't serious, she didn't plan to kill him, but she wanted him to think she did.
Over the other side of the alley, Willow took the girl behind the dumpster, and opened up her bag. Inside were a whole lot of magical ingredients, including an "˜orb of thesula', Willow began to arrange them, as she prepared for the spell. She was worried, Willow didn't think it was going to work because her magicks had been off lately.
As Willow started the incantation, she felt something begin to surge through her, maybe it would work.
On the other side of the dumpster, Buffy and Faith had pinned Angelus to the wall. Although he looked like he seemed to be struggling, he wasn't. Instead, he picked up Faith by the throat and threw her. Faith sprung up and ran for Angelus. Buffy moved away. Faith threw three consecutive punches to Angelus's head, pushing him backwards. She raised her knee right into his crouch, making him scream in pain and then she pulled his head down to collide with her fast moving knee. While in this position, Angelus picked her up from underneath and threw her right at the wall, where her head hit the bricks and she was knocked out cold.
"Faith!" yelled Buffy, "you bastard!"
"I thought it's what you wanted Buffy, last time I saw you, you didn't care much about what happened to her at all, and suddenly she's the sister you never had?" Angelus said sarcastically "that is except for the other one you never had!"
It hurt Buffy to hear Angelus mock Dawn's existence like that, "All these words Angel, how much are you gonna say when I can fit you in an ash tray?"
Buffy hit Angelus across the face, knocking him right to the floor. When he tried to rise back up, she hit him again, knocking him back down. Buffy rolled him over angrily and got on top of him.
"Mmmm"¦ this takes me back," he said.
"You're a pig," Buffy said as punched him hard on his left cheek, "you can't even touch Angel!" this time on the right cheek she hit him. Buffy continued to hit him. Angelus's face was getting bruised and his eyes began to puff up. "You'll never touch him, you're sick!" Buffy kept punching Angel continuously until she heard the words:

âsa fie! Asa sa fie! Acum!"

Willow had completed her spell, and Buffy saw Angel's eyes flash a light shade of yellow for a moment. "It's done," said Willow as she walked over "you can get off him."
"Okay, well done, Angel you in there somewhere?" asked Buffy.
Angel looked up with a completely blank look on his face.
"Buffy? Willow? What's going on?"
 
PART THIRTEEN

"Give it a few seconds, you'll remember everything," said Buffy, she remembered how it all worked from the last time it had happened.
"Are you ok Angel?" asked Willow cautiously, she didn't really know what to expect.
There was no reply; he just stared at the floor.
"Willow, that was some good work you did there, I thought your magick wasn't working?" commented Buffy with a smile.
"Thanks, but it's not really a hard spell. As far as the other part, I didn't think it'd work, but I must have re-charged, it's strange it didn't feel like it." Willow said.
"Angel, are you in there?" asked Buffy, again.
Angel began to weep, he didn't get up.
"There were girls," he blubbered "I killed them."
"No Angel," replied Buffy, she felt sorry for him "you didn't kill anybody, it was Angelus."
"I can remember doing it, I know I didn't really kill anybody, not me, but he's a part of me," Angel replied, he was so remorseful for what Angelus had done.
Buffy didn't want to see him like this any longer; quite bluntly she was in a rush to get home.
"Angel look at me." she said. He looked up at her, tears on his face, which was all beaten.
"I know you Angel, and I know that you and Angelus are two different people, you weren't you," said Buffy.
"What about Faith?" asked Angel "is she ok? I remember I hurt her."
Buffy looked around, "Hey Will, where is Faith?" she asked.
"I don't know she was right there, and now she's gone!" Willow said frantically, pointing at the floor where Faith had lay unconscious.
"Okay, we need to keep a level head about this, did anyone see her go anywhere?" asked Buffy.
Willow and Angel looked at her with worried faces. Buffy knew that they hadn't seen Faith, nor had she.
"Okay, we are going to have to find her, I'm gonna go straight from here, you guys go back to the hotel ok, see if she checked in."

******

"Hey, we're back!" shouted Willow as she and Angel entered the Hyperion. The lobby was quiet, it seemed like no one was there. Angel looked around, he felt like he hadn't seen this place for months.
"Guys where are you?" Willow shouted, looking around the lobby.
Then, from upstairs they heard voices.
Angel panicked, "I don't want them to see me."
"You'll be fine, it wasn't you." answered Willow, trying to calm Angel. She herself had no idea what the reaction of the gang would be, but she knew if he believed in himself, they would too.
"It's Angel! He's back!" yelled Cordelia, she ran down the stairs to check out what was happening. Behind her came Wesley, Gunn, Lorne and Fred.
"Willow, you did it! Kudos!" said Wesley excitedly.
Willow just smiled and looked at Angel.
"Angel," said Cordelia, "we're glad to have you back. I'm sorry about what happened with the monks."
Angel could sense Cordelia wasn't particularly comfortable speaking to him. It pained him to think of his dearest friend not being able to speak her heart to him. Angel remembered what Angelus did to her; he remembered biting into her neck and almost draining her to death. In his eyes, she had the right to be angry, even if she didn't show it.
"Hey man, good to have you back," said Gunn as they shook hands.
"Yes it is, welcome home Angel," said Wesley.
The gang all had uncomfortable looks on their faces and tried to avoid eye contact.
Lorne grinned at Angel, "Hey there peach pie, get back on your road now won't you."
Fred didn't say a word; she just smiled uncomfortably, hiding behind Wesley and Gunn.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry ok. I know what I put you all through, I remember and I'm sorry for doing it," said Angel.
"Angel, don't worry man, we all know it wasn't you, it was Angelus. I'm just as at fault as you are for those murders and what Angelus did, neither of us had anything to do with that stuff."
What Gunn was saying didn't make Angel feel any better at all, he knew it wasn't sincere. Gunn was just trying to make him feel better.
"So where's Buffy then?" asked Cordelia.
"She's out looking for Faith, we lost Faith." answered Willow.
"You LOST ?" asked Wesley.
"Yeah, she was there, then she was gone, don't worry Buffy will find her." Willow assured the gang, but she wasn't sure of this herself. It was a big city and Buffy had no way of contacting Faith.
Suddenly, they heard thunder outside, and straight after, a downpour began.
"Looks like she's gonna get wet though." said Cordelia.
 
PART FOURTEEN

Buffy Summers was soaking wet, she'd been searching for Faith for the last three hours, but couldn't even manage to find someone who'd seen her.
Suddenly, she had heard screaming from down an alley way. Buffy raced down to the end of the alley to where there was a wall, it became a dead end, but she could still hear the screaming, even though she didn't know where from. After having a look around, she realized it was coming through the wooden door in front of her, without thinking twice, or even trying to turn the handle, she kicked it open.
In front of her, stood two vampires, "Here we go," she said. Slaying had become such a drag for Buffy, especially since she'd been revived.
The first vampire threw himself at her, but she gave him a kick to the face while he was still in the air, knocking him to the floor. She reached for her stake and impaled the vampire through his back, right into his heart. After a few seconds, he exploded into dust.
The second vampire picked up a chair and threw it at her, knocking her over. He leapt straight for her and jumped on top of her.
"For Kakistos I live! For Kakistos you'll die!" yelled the vampire. Buffy had remembered hearing this before.
"What, Kakistos? He's dead! I saw Faith kill him!" she yelled.
Quickly, she jabbed her stake into his heart and he dusted all over her.
Buffy jumped up and dusted herself off. "Okay, what the hell, Kakistos? He's dead." she said aloud.
Buffy took a few minutes to look at the place she was in. It seemed to be a factory.
The floors were dirty and in every corner there was a big steel cage, but every one was empty. The factory reeked of blood. Buffy knew the smell pretty well after being the slayer for so long. In the centre of the room was a big machine. It seemed to be some sort of extraction machine with valves and levers all over it.
Through the sound of nuts and bolts, Buffy could hear a girl weeping. It sounded like it was coming from the other side of the machine.
Buffy walked around and looked at the conveyer belt as she passed it; it had empty trays all over it.
"Hey!" yelled Buffy to get the girls attention.
The girl looked up. She was slim and had long blonde hair. Her body was all bruised and battered and her clothes were torn. Now she had a worried look on her face.
"Hey, don't worry I'm not going to hurt you. Are you ok?" asked Buffy.
"I can't walk," replied the girl. "What happened to those big guys?" she asked.
"Oh them, I killed them, don't worry." replied Buffy
"You what?! I mean jail yeah sure but you killed them?!" yelled the girl, shocked and a little worried.
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Look, those guys who hurt you, they weren't human, they were vampires."
"Oh, vampires, I thought so. I've never seen one before tonight but I heard a lot about them. God I think I could have taken one, but two, not so much" The girl seemed to know a bit about vampires.
Buffy looked at her, puzzled. "YOU know about vampires?"
"Yeah, my watcher is a total slave driver, of course I do. I could be the next slayer if the current one dies you know!" replied the girl, as she jumped up spryly.
Buffy had a totally confused look on her face.
"Don't worry, I don't expect you to have any idea what I'm talking about." said the girl.
"Ok, start again. I'm Buffy, the vampire slayer, who the hell are you?" said Buffy, and by this time she was very confused.
"My name's Laura, I'm a potential slayer." she said. Buffy was surprised that the girl didn't ask twice about her being the slayer.
"Okay, look I'm confused what exactly is a potential Slayer?" asked Buffy.
"I have the potential to become a vampire slayer, but that is if you died." said Laura.
"Ok, I understand, but it's not me who has to die, it's Faith, the other slayer. You see I'm not the "˜active slayer' anymore, Faith is, she was called after me and I'm looking for her now. If we don't find her, you could be the new slayer really soon." said Buffy gravely.
Laura looked at Buffy, "Ok then, let's find her."

******

Angel sat in his room, silently.
"Hey, can I come in?" he heard from the corridor, it was the sweet voice of Cordelia Chase.
"Yeah, I guess. Come in." he answered her.
Cordelia went over to his bed and lie down comfortably.
"So Angel, what's it like to be you again." she asked.
"Mmm, good." he replied, but Angel didn't have much enthusiasm in his voice.
Cordy could sense something was wrong. She sat up on the bed and looked right into his eyes.
"Angel, listen to me. I know you blame yourself for what happened and I know it's weird. I know that no matter how much I tell you it wasn't really you that you're still going to blame yourself, because I know you. I know you don't hate the broody part of life. But Angel nothing of what happened with Angelus matters to me, I'm fine and I know it wasn't you. If you choose to stay up here and brood, then it's your loss. We need you Angel, the cityeds you, and heck the WORLD needs you. Angelus is gone and he's not coming back. Now, get back to work, come on, and be the champion I know you are."
Cordelia's words spoke volumes and Angel knew there was truth in them.
"Ok," said Angel, as he raised his head with pride, "let's get to work."
 
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