My first Fan Fic!

Thanks guys for all the support, its totaly helping, I am really getting into this!

These girls they fight in order to help the rest of the world, and the rest of the world is to concerned with their own problems to see something that is right in front of their faces, Illyria thought as she glided along taking grate strides in a her movement, she was not the type to flee from something she would normally crush, once upon a time, but now she is limited in her power she is a mortal of sorts. She may be stronger than a normal person and she moves with the grace and ease of a God, Yet the word mortal would be a good word to describe her, she is in a mortal form and she will eventually die like the rest of the mortals on this planet. Death is not something she had feared before, she had not feared anything before. And now she is a stranger lost in a world of billions, she is alone, like the rest of them and that is the one thing she did fear, if she could not rule this world then who was she?

Willow could see Kennedy up ahead, soon they would know the outcome of this battle, either way. She slowed as she neared her, panting from exhaustion, " Is there anyone in the park?". "No I cleared the couple of couples that were in there, are you ready?" Kennedy replied. She did not know how to respond, No. Yes. Maybe. If it even works. "Yeah I think so, Ill need to set up over there" she noticed a gaziebo a little inside the park, "While you guys fight here just outside the entrance" she said surveying the Park gates, It was like a big bronze doorway, with an arc at the top with the work "˜Park' in fancy letters, "This should do" Willow said to herself.

What should do? Angel thought as he stood there looking from Willow to the way they had come, knowing that at any minuet the demons were going to flood threw the streets in an effort to destroy him. "Willow, what's going on we need an explanation! How did you know we were going to need your help?"
Angel asked. "Angel, I will explain everything" Willow replied as she picked up a bag that lay beside the park entrance, "But we have to deal with the baddies first". "Where's Buffy?" Spike suddenly asked, Willow looked at him. Why didn't I ask that, Angel thought. Then Willow spoke slowly, as if she was carefully choosing her words, "She's still in Rome" She looked from Spike to Angel, "She could not get here, She wanted to, but its to far away." Angel just stood there not knowing what to say now. " We can talk about this later, I have to set up.". Right the demons, Angel reminded himself.

Kennedy saw this as her point to take charge of the situation, "Right, Slayers" she commanded to the eager looking girls, they suddenly turned to her and stood looking like a perfect army. "Take your positions around the outside of the Gate, stay far enough that they wont get through but close enough to run back in when needed. I want five of you inside the Gate to deal with any strays that get through, You five" She points to the closest five. "Ok take positions, and remember they will kill you just as soon as look at you!" As she finished her sentence the all the Slayer, except five, spread out around the gate, as if guarding it, they were about a thirty second sprint away from the entrance. Kennedy turned to the others. "Ok you gu"¦" She stopped talking off the look she was getting from Angel and his team, "Eh"¦What do you wanna do?", and she smiled weakly. She was used to bossing people around now, as one of the more senior Slayers she was often placed in the position of leader and she liked it.

While Kennedy was giving out orders, Willow walked further into the park and went into the Gazebo, It was a large sheltered area, with wooden floors and steps leading up to it from all directions, she walked in and stared taking out candles from the bag she had picked up earlier, and she placed them in a circle around the Gazebo. She then lit all the candles. She was ready to began. She walked to the side of the Gazebo and yelled over to Kennedy and the others. "I'm ready to begin, I'm gonna start now cuz, eh, I'm not sure how long it will take". Giles was putting allot of faith in her to do this, she knew she could do it, but she did not know how long it would take, she walked into the centre of the candles and sat down, crossed-legged she closed her eyes, and began to take deep breaths in and out. In and out.
 
I must recommend you get a proof-reader, cause spelling, grammar, and punctuation are more than a bit off 🙁 The story however is really exciting 😀 I'm glad you put a little more of Kennedy in it! Anyway, keep up the good work; I really like how you write! 🙂
 
I know I really suck at
spelling, grammar, and punctuation
I always have lol, although my spell checker is saying there in nothing wrong?
 
"So we're just supposed to fight these things until she says, yea? We don't have to kill em all, right?" Spike said. "Yea we just have to keep them away from Will, until she tells us, then we let her do the rest."
Kennedy replied, and just as she finished her sentence there was a huge roar in the direction they had come, they all turned as a tidal wave of demons poured in from every direction. Angel ran out to the Slayers, who were already bracing themselves for battle, Spike followed him, They took up the front position followed by Illyria and Kennedy. They all stood there in silence as they surveyed the demons that were charging at them, calling for their deaths. "Anyone else getting Deja vou?" Spike said.

This was it, her first ever"¦war, was that the right word? One month ago, she was living at home with her parents and her 3 brothers and 4 sisters. One day while she was walking home from school a red-haired Woman came up to her smiling, "Hi, are you Emily?". "Eh yeah, I am" she replied suspiciously. "Oh good, I'm Willow, I was wondering if I could talk to you?" The stranger asked. "About?" Emily asked. "Your Destiny". At first she thought she was crazy, but then she showed her, she introduced her to a world of nightmares and horror. But it was a world where she felt she fit in. She was strong, and she was able to help people, but this, this was something she could not even began to fear it was beyond that. Demons, thousands of them charging at her wanting her to suffer and die. Well she was part demon right! She wanted them to suffer and die. They were the cause of all the fears in the world, she would be able to fight fears tonight, she would crush and destroy fear. She clenched her fist, she was read, ready to fight her worst nightmares.

The army of demons collided with their targets. As every demon tried to tear them apart, them fought back. They were not going to let these things take them. Angel fought off three demons at the same time, cutting them down. Spike battled with a Vampire, while Illyria obliterated opponent after opponent. Kennedy pummels the demon she is fighting, and all the Slayers fight like all the Ones that have come before them. Emily delivers a devastating kick the chest of a demon, who goes flying backwards into a load of other demons, knocking them over, but they do not stay down long as they jumped to their feet and charged at her, to many for her to handle, they easily ripped the life from her body. The words "You Destiny" still echoing in her mind.
 
Wow, I really liked this part... the introduction of the Emily character builds up anticipation and them WHAM! You go and kill her off 🙁 Didn't see that one coming. A very solid and unexpected next chapter; I hope the next one will be as good 😀


Black Eye Guy said:
I know I really suck at
spelling, grammar, and punctuation
I always have lol, although my spell checker is saying there in nothing wrong?

Lol, well in the line above you've mistyped is as in, which a spellchecker won't recognise as a mistake. They're pretty handy but you can't fully rely on them. Especially if you're aware you have "difficulties" with spelling and stuff, try reading it again and only paying attention to the language. It's hard, 'cause you start noticing the story and might get carried away with that (especially with a good writer such as yourself 😉) but if you focus hard enough, I'm sure you can manage. Otherwise, you can always ask for someone who is good at spelling, grammar, and punctuation to proof-read it for you. Also, in this one, in the last paragraph, you switched from past to present tense and back again.
 
Black Eye Guy
Black Eye Guy
Lol, hehehe. Thanks for the comments on my story though!
Ok so wow there is allot of spelling mistakes in the last post sorry about that! hope this one is better! oh and I have put the thoughts that the characters are actually thinking in Italics 🙂

What had happened? Why had Angel turned on him? Why? Eve thought as she wandered the streets. Lindsey"¦

Angel killed the ugly scaly demon he was fighting and was immediately confronted by another demon, giving him no time to check on his friends, or Spike. How much longer could they hold out? They were not sure how long this spell of Willows was going to take, he wasn't even sure what she was going to do.
The demon slashed Angels shoulder with his dagger like claws. He spin kicked it into another demon, picked it up off the ground and hurled it into the army of demons, right before he was tackled to the ground by a four legged demon that opened its mouth wide, revealing its many jagged teeth, ready to bite and he was pinned to the ground unable to move.

Illyria was enjoying herself, this was helping with"¦ With the grief. Grief, a human emotion felt from the death of a loved one, but she could not feel grief she was beyond it, was it the shells grief? Violence would help with the grief. She ran at the army of demons knocking two off their feet as she ran. She grabbed the tail of one that had pinned Angel to the ground and flung it up into the air, it flew up high before falling, but by the time it hit the ground dead she had charged right into the next wave of demons, sending demons flying in every direction. Yes this does help.

Kennedy finished off the demon she was fighting and looked around at the chaos, If Willow did not hurry they were going to loose this battle. She could she a couple of dead Slayers lying on the ground, but that number would build in no time, at that moment the first demon got past them and charged into the park, she watched as the five Slayers guarding Willow snapped into action, She was safe. But she was not, she was not paying attention to the battle, and there was a Vampire coming up behind her.

A Vampire Slayer, the demon thought, They have to taste good, and this one was not paying attention to the battle, she was looking at five of her fellow Slayers fighting a demon inside the park.
Word had spread quickly though the demon world, rumours at first, "˜More then one Slayer now"˜, but allot of them had already herd this rumour before. But then the rumours had gotten out of control, One day the Slayer would be in America, the next England, or Africa, France, Italy, Spain. Demons were reporting encountering the Slayer from all over the world. Then they found out that it was worse then two Slayers, every single potential Slayer was suddenly active. It also started to spread that one of the Hellmouths had been completely destroyed. The great evil they had all felt gathering had failed in its plan of wiping out the Slayer line, it had done more good then bad. Well the world was about to lose another Sla"¦ahh, he felt it slide into his body, he felt the little splinters cut his insides. Right before the World faded out of existence , and he turned to dust. Slayed from behind by a Slayer. So un-honorary, so despicable, so"¦ something he would do.
 
Hahaha... that last paragraph was funny... last line is just great 😀 The thoughts in Italics DOES really help 🙂
 
She could feel it building up inside her, power. It wanted to be released, not yet. Willow was sitting in the centre of a circle of candles, she was breathing heavily now, with beads of sweat forming on her forehead, her breathing got faster and faster as she built up more energy. This was not like the Activation Spell, she had nothing to "˜tap' into, she was collecting energy from everywhere and building it up inside her, all this power being kept inside her was now having a physical affect on her, but she could not stop yet, she was almost there"¦

Spike was having trouble finishing off this demon, it had a sword in both hands and it kept trying to stab him, so far it had only managed to cut him, but nothing serious. He punched the demon in the face, just as it stuck one of the swords into his stomach, He stumbled backward, with the sword still sticking out of him. The demon prepared to finish him off but Spike grabbed the sword in his stomach and pulled it out and spun around in a full circle and decapitated the demon. "Bastard".

This was it, she had all the power she needed. She was breathing very fast now and the sweat was dripping down her face. "Get back into the park, NOW!" she yelled, without uttering a word.

They all herd Willow yell out to them, she sounded exhausted. They knew that when they herd the call they had to run into the park, they had to get through those gates before"¦

All the demons stood in shock as it seemed all at once their enemies had decide to retreat, but they knew they could not let them retreat, they could not surrender they could only die. They started to move towards the gates of the park where they were running to.

Kennedy stood just inside the gate looking out as Slayer after Slayer ran through into the park, Angel came through and stood beside her, Illyria came next, and also joined them, the last of the slayers passed through, there was only Spike left and he was being followed by the Demons, who were now all running at top speeds towards the park.

Willow could sense that everyone except Spike were in the park. Come on, come on. Just a little further. As he passed threw the entrance, Willows eyes snapped open, She took a deep breath and released the energy from her body and aimed it at the entrance. The invisible force flowed threw her to that specific spot, but the demons where closing in fast, the first couple passed through the gates.
Willow decided to release all the energy from within her, it was the only way. She took in another deep breath and let out a scream as all the power and energy passed from her body.

The demons were almost upon the gate, to late to stop themselves even if they had realised what was happening.

Willow continued her scream as the last of her energy passed from her, it reached it destination and ripped the very existence of time, it started out small but it soon grew spreading out from a small cut hanging in the air, it filled out until it was the size of the gates.

The first few demons tried to skid to a stop but they were pushed through the doorway by the momentum of the demons behind them, the doorway rippled outwards pulling them in through the portal, before it shrunk down to a cut again and then disappeared out of existence.

Willows voice went, and she stoped screaming, she had done it. The same moment the portal closed she passed out, falling to the side When she hit the floor all the candles around her flickered out.

Angel stood in utter shock at what had just happed, a portal had sucked up most of the demon army, there was only a few stray stragglers around most of which were already being attacked by the Slayers. He turned to ask Kennedy what had happened, but she was gone, she was running over to the gazebo where Willow lay on the floor unconscious. Angel looked from Spike to Illyria, who then dashed forward to help the Slayers finish off this battle. Had they won?

The dragon trashed around in its mystical prison suspended above the earth.
A figure walked down the ally towards the dragon, it razed it hand at the same moment that Willow passed out. A second later the barrier around the dragon broke. The figure waved its hand as the dragon shot upwards, and the dragon disappeared in a flash of white light. The figure then disappeared into the shadows.

Eve was still walking the streets, she was crying and hugging herself.
"Eve" a demonic voice bellowed out of the shadows, She spun around to look in the direction the voice had come, a hooded figure stepped out of the shadows, "I have a proposition for you, from them" it said. "I don't have anything left, what could they offer me?" she replied, anger swelling at that the thought that they would offer her something. It hesitated a second before answerig, "Vengeance."
 
Wow, I didn't see that one coming... okay, well I did when the demons were running into the park I kinda got the feeling.

I wonder what's up with the figure that vanished the dragon... and what about the hooded figure, are they the same? Is the hooded figure D'Hoffryn... very exciting.
 
this last post was great, BEG. your grammer has improved considerably, and it really shows.
this last chapter was very well written, i totally got caught up in the momentum.
it's getting exciting, i really want to know who vanished the dragon!!
so update soon!
 
Black Eye Guy
Black Eye Guy
Thank u! I will :)
I know I hav'nt posted in a while, I've been kinda busy, so here is the next part.

Aimee's parents had gone to have a look at the house they were interested in buying, they left early that morning and would be gone all day.
Sunnydale, Aimee thought, she had never heard of it, but she felt like she knew it. "You do" said a voice from behind her. She was in her kitchen and she was alone, she thought. She spun around to see a man standing there, he was wearing funny looking cloths and a hat. "Who the hell are you? How did you get into my house?" Aimee asked moving backwards towards the phone. "Whistler. And I walked through the door." He pointed to the open door behind him. "My parents are going to be home any minute now." Aimee said, her voice shaking. "No their not, they've gone to a town called Sunnydale for the day, you know you really shouldn't lie." Whistler replied walking over to the table and helping himself to an apple, he took a bite out of it and said "So what did you think of your vision?" Aimee stopped inching backwards and stared at him. "I don't kno"¦" she started before Whistler cut across her "You don't know what I'm talking about, yada yada, do you mind if we don't play this game it's boring. I know that 4 days ago you had a vision, In it you saw a very old Vampire rise and reek destruction, then he killed a Vampire Slayer and walked upon the earth, causing chaos everywhere he went. Oh and the reason why you think you know the town of Sunnydale is because that is where this will all happen and you are going to go there and help that Slayer"¦"
 
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