Chosen Enemy
Losing my soul
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2010
- Messages
- 3,430
- Age
- 40
Be easy on me, I've never written a fanfic before, though I have many ideas in my head because I think about Buffy regulary, what could happen and how. Also, I'm more used to write screen plays, as in scripts. So I wrote this little bit, and I hope you'll enjoy!
It's from Buffy's point of view, and the character that are staring in it are Buffy, Angel and Spike. I won't give you a summary, because I want you to realize things during. About the timing, I'll let you decide, I keep that one open.
THREE BEATING HEARTS"¦ FOREVER
My heart was pounding, deep inside my chest. The rest of my body hollow. I was only a soul with a big heart. Heart that was looking for someone to love. Anyone.
I knew they were there, both, pacing around the room. The only thing that was separating between love and heartbreak was that solid wooden door.
I knew I had to reach for the knob and make the simplest move a human can do, to open the door. But it didn't feel easy. I felt my hand heavier than ever. Shaking, cold. Even painful. My whole body hurt. But it wasn't a sore from the fight I just had with evil. Fighting the forces of darkness was cake compared to what I had to do after opening that door. But I knew that every time a door closes, another opens. And it was time to test that theory.
I reached for the knob and slowly pushed the door away from me. I was about to enter to a new world, a world I didn't know before. The world of happiness.
'That's the goal', I reminded myself. Just to overcome the feelings of self hatred I will have after I'm done here. Someone is going to be happy. But the other one will be sad. I stopped myself for a second. How could I make a person this feeling, the sadness, this horrible storm in their heart? But it was too late. I was in. Two pairs of eyes were raised to look into mine. That deep stare they always had at me. It was chilling, it was once wonderful. I felt like staring at my feet, not at them. But I had to. I always have to. Those are my lovers.
"Hi", I simply let out, didn't know exactly what the best word to say was. The following words will be even tougher. To both parties.
I wanted to say I'm sorry. I wanted to say I love you. I wanted to say I can't and I have to. But there are no words in the world that would make them both happy. But I did have to. I just knew it. And because of me, someone will get hurt. The hardest thing was the fact that it would be me who will make that heartbreak. My words, my eyes. Maybe my lips on top of another mouth. .
They both looked at me. One pair of brown eyes and another pair of blue eyes. They've been waiting for this so long. They had to hear it.
After all this time I was sure. It has to be one of them. Not other people. There is no one else in the world. I love them so much; I just don't see a place in my heart for someone else. It's our destiny.
"Where were you?" Angel showed his interest in his love of his life.
"Oh, just fighting the good old evil", I told him.
Small talk. That's a good way to start a heavy conversation.
"I was worried", Spike got himself into the conversation with his usual honesty. I love his caring for me.
"I'm okay", I calmed them both down, "I just got a few scratches. Very, very small scratches. Nothing to worry about".
I noticed they were standing a fair distance from me. Like they were keeping themselves away from me. I wasn't sure if that was a good.
"This is it", I told them both quietly. "I've made my decision".
I saw them both tense up. Their beating hearts must have pounded in their chests as well. I wasn't alone in this. Three heart beats, three human beings, three souls standing together, waiting for an unknown future.
"I don't think I can stand this. This bloody awful gut feeling", said Spike like a little boy who was waiting for the thing he'd always wanted most of all, a candy. But this wasn't candy.
"I don't wanna hurt anybody", I continued.
"We know that", Angel tried to calm me down. But it didn't work. Those feelings I had were too strong. I couldn't stand hurting one of them. Yet, I knew I had to.
"I want you to remember that I love you both so much. And just because I pick one of you, doesn't mean I want the other one away. I still want you both in my life. Just not in the same way".
"Buffy"¦ can I say something first?" Angel interrupted. I nodded and he continued. "If you choose Spike, it's fine. I'll accept your wish completely. But I will get out of your way. I'll let you live happily ever after and won't bother you again".
I chocked. No, I can't agree to that!
"I don't want you to", I tried, "I want you both in my life!"
"Love, it's impossible", Spike burst in, backing Angel's words up. "Staying around and see you cuddle like a bloody care bear would be too painful. If you pick one of us, the other one should stay away and let you live together for all eternity, I reckon. Even if it's Peaches here. I will leave town if you choose Angel".
"Are you both trying to get me to pick you? Because my decision is already made. And I'm confident about it".
"You said you love us both", Spike said, "That's enough for me. I'll be happy just knowing that".
"And if Spike will make you happy, "Angel added to Spike's words, "he's the one I want for you. And I do believe Spike is good for you. Believe it or not, I do".
Spike and I looked at Angel in amazement, "Yeah, what he said", Spike said, probably faking it, as far as I know him.
"I believe that if someone loves you as much as he does", Angel continues, "he can make you happy. And that's all I want".
"I don't know what to say", I said almost to myself, "you're both being really"¦ grown ups. I mean, you two have used to be such little boys. You've really grown".
There was a little smile spreading across my face. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And I was hoping they weren't campaigning for themselves. Or lying. Maybe it's just a smokescreen to cover up the pain trails. But I wasn't gonna argue here. It's not the time. There was no time at all. The affect of 'one day where both vampires are humans so you could decide' was about to come to an end. The Powers That Be gave me one chance to pick which vampire I want as a human and he becomes human forever. If I don't get back in time with my decision, it's over. I'll never get another chance to choose and receive that gift of love. It was my decision and only mine. And I knew that the one that I pick to stay human forever, will be the one I take to be mine. And we'll live together for all eternity. How, the hell, did I get into that mess?
"Wait a minute!" Spike barged in, breaking apart my cloud of thoughts. "You just want me to say all those things about you, so Buffy will choose you! Bloody genius, a score for Captain Forehead!"
"What?" Angel looked at him with disgust.
"You heard me. If that's your brilliant plan, you can just forget about it! I'm not saying Buffy should be with you!"
"Spike, shut up", I stopped him.
"Spike", Angel said, "I said those things because I believe in them. And if you loved Buffy with all your heart for real, you'd think like me".
"I do think like you, you bent. I think Buffy will be happy with me".
"That's fine", Angel was being the grown up one. But in all fairness, they're both like children, always been like that with each other. "Let's let Buffy decide, shall we?"
Spike took a deep breath. I could see he reconsidered all those things he'd just said.
"So we shall", he answered shortly.
"Thank God", the words escaped my mouth. I didn't want, I so didn't want to have another lovers war. Although, I'll admit, I do enjoy that sometimes. "I'll just rip the band-aid off. Quick and"¦ Well, this is going to hurt a little. I'm sorry. I could apologize a million times, it wouldn't make me feel better".
I raised my eyes to look at the window. It's almost sunset. I had to do this now, or it will be too late. Rip the band-aid off.
"I did choose the one that can make me happy the most. Which means I choose the one who loves me more. Oh, God", I inhaled deeply. Not that it helped, 'cause I couldn't breathe anyway. This was my destiny sealing. This was a new start while it was also a new ending. I just hoped I made the right choice.
"I'm sorry..." I said the words again quietly, didn't really want anyone to hear. "Angel".
There most have been about 2 minutes of nothing. Simply nothing. Not a word, not a breath. Only 3 beating hearts that everybody could hear. Spike looked confused.
"Angel?" Spike said. "You're sorry that it's Angel, or you're saying sorry to Angel?"
Maybe Spike was the dumber one out of the both. Because Angel got real serious and quiet. Even more than when he's brooding. Maybe he was brooding. Then he slowly said, "She chose you, moron".
Now it was Spike's turn to get quiet. It scared me a little. Even more than some monsters I've met over the years. Scarier than Maggie Walsh.
Spike simply let out, "Bloody hell"¦"
I guess he ran out of words. Didn't think it was possible for him. I didn't know what to do next. Kiss him? Hug him? Or maybe I should have approach Angel gently, lay a light kiss on his forehead and tell him goodbye? Because this was a goodbye. He said he'd leave if I choose Spike. My God, it was the hardest thought of my life. It was scary, it was sad, it was so damn painful I didn't think I could stand it.
So I simply said, "Close your eyes". And he did. I turned his way, put my hands over his angelic face, and I pressed my lips against his. This kiss lasted forever. The greatest forever. It was perfect. Maybe because I knew it would be the last time I saw him. I pressed my body against him, feeling the closeness. We've never been this close before. I felt his heart. But its beating has slowed down a bit all of a sudden. Oh, God! Time was running out. He was turning into a vampire again. I had to go back and perform the ritual with Spike. He is the one.
I pulled myself away from Angel. I felt small, little and wet river in my eyes. I hope I made the right decision.
"We have to go. Now!" I cried at Spike.
There was no time to tell Spike all the things I wanted to tell him. I wanted him the closest, the nearest. But for that we had to get there on time. So they will cast their little 'uncurse' that will make him human forever. So we can live together forever.
I took another glance outside the window. The sun is setting quickly. Faster than I'd like. No time to lose!
I took Spike's hand and pulled him after me.
We had to get there NOW! If we miss it"¦ it will be the end of us. The end of a love story before it even began"¦
THE END
It's from Buffy's point of view, and the character that are staring in it are Buffy, Angel and Spike. I won't give you a summary, because I want you to realize things during. About the timing, I'll let you decide, I keep that one open.
THREE BEATING HEARTS"¦ FOREVER
My heart was pounding, deep inside my chest. The rest of my body hollow. I was only a soul with a big heart. Heart that was looking for someone to love. Anyone.
I knew they were there, both, pacing around the room. The only thing that was separating between love and heartbreak was that solid wooden door.
I knew I had to reach for the knob and make the simplest move a human can do, to open the door. But it didn't feel easy. I felt my hand heavier than ever. Shaking, cold. Even painful. My whole body hurt. But it wasn't a sore from the fight I just had with evil. Fighting the forces of darkness was cake compared to what I had to do after opening that door. But I knew that every time a door closes, another opens. And it was time to test that theory.
I reached for the knob and slowly pushed the door away from me. I was about to enter to a new world, a world I didn't know before. The world of happiness.
'That's the goal', I reminded myself. Just to overcome the feelings of self hatred I will have after I'm done here. Someone is going to be happy. But the other one will be sad. I stopped myself for a second. How could I make a person this feeling, the sadness, this horrible storm in their heart? But it was too late. I was in. Two pairs of eyes were raised to look into mine. That deep stare they always had at me. It was chilling, it was once wonderful. I felt like staring at my feet, not at them. But I had to. I always have to. Those are my lovers.
"Hi", I simply let out, didn't know exactly what the best word to say was. The following words will be even tougher. To both parties.
I wanted to say I'm sorry. I wanted to say I love you. I wanted to say I can't and I have to. But there are no words in the world that would make them both happy. But I did have to. I just knew it. And because of me, someone will get hurt. The hardest thing was the fact that it would be me who will make that heartbreak. My words, my eyes. Maybe my lips on top of another mouth. .
They both looked at me. One pair of brown eyes and another pair of blue eyes. They've been waiting for this so long. They had to hear it.
After all this time I was sure. It has to be one of them. Not other people. There is no one else in the world. I love them so much; I just don't see a place in my heart for someone else. It's our destiny.
"Where were you?" Angel showed his interest in his love of his life.
"Oh, just fighting the good old evil", I told him.
Small talk. That's a good way to start a heavy conversation.
"I was worried", Spike got himself into the conversation with his usual honesty. I love his caring for me.
"I'm okay", I calmed them both down, "I just got a few scratches. Very, very small scratches. Nothing to worry about".
I noticed they were standing a fair distance from me. Like they were keeping themselves away from me. I wasn't sure if that was a good.
"This is it", I told them both quietly. "I've made my decision".
I saw them both tense up. Their beating hearts must have pounded in their chests as well. I wasn't alone in this. Three heart beats, three human beings, three souls standing together, waiting for an unknown future.
"I don't think I can stand this. This bloody awful gut feeling", said Spike like a little boy who was waiting for the thing he'd always wanted most of all, a candy. But this wasn't candy.
"I don't wanna hurt anybody", I continued.
"We know that", Angel tried to calm me down. But it didn't work. Those feelings I had were too strong. I couldn't stand hurting one of them. Yet, I knew I had to.
"I want you to remember that I love you both so much. And just because I pick one of you, doesn't mean I want the other one away. I still want you both in my life. Just not in the same way".
"Buffy"¦ can I say something first?" Angel interrupted. I nodded and he continued. "If you choose Spike, it's fine. I'll accept your wish completely. But I will get out of your way. I'll let you live happily ever after and won't bother you again".
I chocked. No, I can't agree to that!
"I don't want you to", I tried, "I want you both in my life!"
"Love, it's impossible", Spike burst in, backing Angel's words up. "Staying around and see you cuddle like a bloody care bear would be too painful. If you pick one of us, the other one should stay away and let you live together for all eternity, I reckon. Even if it's Peaches here. I will leave town if you choose Angel".
"Are you both trying to get me to pick you? Because my decision is already made. And I'm confident about it".
"You said you love us both", Spike said, "That's enough for me. I'll be happy just knowing that".
"And if Spike will make you happy, "Angel added to Spike's words, "he's the one I want for you. And I do believe Spike is good for you. Believe it or not, I do".
Spike and I looked at Angel in amazement, "Yeah, what he said", Spike said, probably faking it, as far as I know him.
"I believe that if someone loves you as much as he does", Angel continues, "he can make you happy. And that's all I want".
"I don't know what to say", I said almost to myself, "you're both being really"¦ grown ups. I mean, you two have used to be such little boys. You've really grown".
There was a little smile spreading across my face. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And I was hoping they weren't campaigning for themselves. Or lying. Maybe it's just a smokescreen to cover up the pain trails. But I wasn't gonna argue here. It's not the time. There was no time at all. The affect of 'one day where both vampires are humans so you could decide' was about to come to an end. The Powers That Be gave me one chance to pick which vampire I want as a human and he becomes human forever. If I don't get back in time with my decision, it's over. I'll never get another chance to choose and receive that gift of love. It was my decision and only mine. And I knew that the one that I pick to stay human forever, will be the one I take to be mine. And we'll live together for all eternity. How, the hell, did I get into that mess?
"Wait a minute!" Spike barged in, breaking apart my cloud of thoughts. "You just want me to say all those things about you, so Buffy will choose you! Bloody genius, a score for Captain Forehead!"
"What?" Angel looked at him with disgust.
"You heard me. If that's your brilliant plan, you can just forget about it! I'm not saying Buffy should be with you!"
"Spike, shut up", I stopped him.
"Spike", Angel said, "I said those things because I believe in them. And if you loved Buffy with all your heart for real, you'd think like me".
"I do think like you, you bent. I think Buffy will be happy with me".
"That's fine", Angel was being the grown up one. But in all fairness, they're both like children, always been like that with each other. "Let's let Buffy decide, shall we?"
Spike took a deep breath. I could see he reconsidered all those things he'd just said.
"So we shall", he answered shortly.
"Thank God", the words escaped my mouth. I didn't want, I so didn't want to have another lovers war. Although, I'll admit, I do enjoy that sometimes. "I'll just rip the band-aid off. Quick and"¦ Well, this is going to hurt a little. I'm sorry. I could apologize a million times, it wouldn't make me feel better".
I raised my eyes to look at the window. It's almost sunset. I had to do this now, or it will be too late. Rip the band-aid off.
"I did choose the one that can make me happy the most. Which means I choose the one who loves me more. Oh, God", I inhaled deeply. Not that it helped, 'cause I couldn't breathe anyway. This was my destiny sealing. This was a new start while it was also a new ending. I just hoped I made the right choice.
"I'm sorry..." I said the words again quietly, didn't really want anyone to hear. "Angel".
There most have been about 2 minutes of nothing. Simply nothing. Not a word, not a breath. Only 3 beating hearts that everybody could hear. Spike looked confused.
"Angel?" Spike said. "You're sorry that it's Angel, or you're saying sorry to Angel?"
Maybe Spike was the dumber one out of the both. Because Angel got real serious and quiet. Even more than when he's brooding. Maybe he was brooding. Then he slowly said, "She chose you, moron".
Now it was Spike's turn to get quiet. It scared me a little. Even more than some monsters I've met over the years. Scarier than Maggie Walsh.
Spike simply let out, "Bloody hell"¦"
I guess he ran out of words. Didn't think it was possible for him. I didn't know what to do next. Kiss him? Hug him? Or maybe I should have approach Angel gently, lay a light kiss on his forehead and tell him goodbye? Because this was a goodbye. He said he'd leave if I choose Spike. My God, it was the hardest thought of my life. It was scary, it was sad, it was so damn painful I didn't think I could stand it.
So I simply said, "Close your eyes". And he did. I turned his way, put my hands over his angelic face, and I pressed my lips against his. This kiss lasted forever. The greatest forever. It was perfect. Maybe because I knew it would be the last time I saw him. I pressed my body against him, feeling the closeness. We've never been this close before. I felt his heart. But its beating has slowed down a bit all of a sudden. Oh, God! Time was running out. He was turning into a vampire again. I had to go back and perform the ritual with Spike. He is the one.
I pulled myself away from Angel. I felt small, little and wet river in my eyes. I hope I made the right decision.
"We have to go. Now!" I cried at Spike.
There was no time to tell Spike all the things I wanted to tell him. I wanted him the closest, the nearest. But for that we had to get there on time. So they will cast their little 'uncurse' that will make him human forever. So we can live together forever.
I took another glance outside the window. The sun is setting quickly. Faster than I'd like. No time to lose!
I took Spike's hand and pulled him after me.
We had to get there NOW! If we miss it"¦ it will be the end of us. The end of a love story before it even began"¦
THE END
