Need a Laugh?

[November]

Hey all,
Everyone feels down time to time and I thought maybe a joke thread would be nice to give ya a laugh when feel like crap. Just somewhere to come and share your bad/lame jokes without having to think too much 😛

I tried to find a simular thread but couldnt so I am sorry mods if this has been done before

What is Red and looks like a bucket?
TC no cheating!


A red bucket.

Insert laughter here 😀

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

I have a similar one: What is brown an sticky?


A brown stick


And just a general question, what kind of jokes are we allowed to post? The really good ones I know are mostly pretty dirty

 

[anyatara]

If I posted any jokes my brother has told me, I'd have to be shot 😉

What about jokes about blondes? My friend Jack taught me loads, but they're kinda...evil 😛

 

[November]

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.

When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a driveway.

 

[definition of insane]

I think there was a jokes thread ages ago but it's probably in the cemetery by now.

But anyway....

3 men walked into a bar, you would have thought one of them would have seen it.

2 fish were in a tank and one says to the other "I can't drive this!"

 

[ILLYRIAN]

There was a blonde jogging in the park, suddenly she just fell down and died.
The police couldn't understand why, until the pretty Brunette lady detective put new batteries in the blondes 'walkman'.
She listened to the cd, it kept repeating breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.......

 

[Nabila]

Seen on Bumper stickers:

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

" Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

 

[Blondie Bear]

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef

What do you call a cow who just gave birth?
De-calf-inated

Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it

 

[Lyri]

And just a general question, what kind of jokes are we allowed to post? The really good ones I know are mostly pretty dirty

Please remember that this is an all ages forum, some of our members are only in their very early teens. Any jokes posted that are deemed inappropriate by any of the Mods will be deleted.

 

[Tueuse de Vampires]

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.


What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick.

 

[Blondie Bear]

What do you call a lawyer who's gone bad?
A senator

 

[November]

Haha these are great guys 🙂 keep 'em coming 😛


"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."


Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower?
That's because he hides well.

 

[Wiccaness]

What do you call a man with 1 eye and 1 leg?

IHOP




How do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter, it still won't come to you.




Why are blonde jokes so short?

So brunettes can remember them.

 

[Old Master 3.0]

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?"

:::rimshot:::

Thank you! Thank you! Be sure to try the veal! 😀


:::Gets hit with a brick....:::

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Did you know that an Australian found a way to make a chicken with four legs. He was trying to avert a shortage in KFC chicken drum sticks, now all he has to do is catch the soddin thing.

Two Irish men started to build a jetty in the middle of the Sahara desert. They went back four days later to finish it and found six Aussie blokes fishing from it.

 

[TabulaRasa]

How about a brain teaser?

a plane crashes between the border of Tennessee and Georgia.
Where do you burry the survivors?

A rooster lays an egg on a roof. Which side does it roll down?

 

[TabulaRasa]

Sorry to double post but...Roosters don't lay eggs!

 

[November]

How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb into a tree and act like a nut.


What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin' Catholic

 

[ILLYRIAN]

The good old Australian barometer is a piece of string nailed at the top of a wooden board.

If the string is wet................. it's raining
If the string is dry.................. it's not raining
If the string is swaying.............it's windy
If the string is horizontal...........it's very windy
If the string casts a shadow......it's sunny
If the string casts no shadow.....it's cloudy
If the string is smoking..............Bushfire !

 

[Nabila]

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!