Need a Laugh?

What do you call a sheep without legs?
A: A cloud.

Q: What happened to the clock that fell into the sheepdip?
A: It lost all its ticks.

Q: "What did one sheep say to the other sheep?
A: "After ewe"

Q: What would you get if you crossed a goat and a sheep?
A: An animal that eats tin cans and gives back steel wool

Q:What is a sheep's favorite newspaper?
A: "The Wool Street Journal"

Q: What would you get if you crossed a sheep and a kangaroo?
A: A woolly jumper!

Q: Why did the lamb call the police?
A: He had been fleeced

Q: What do you get if you cross a boa and a sheep?
A: A wrap-around sweater
 
Alright, alright!
I've got one.

A man goes into an ice cream store.
The lady in front of him orders a chocolate ice cream.

*laughter and applause go here*
 
A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a Whisky.
The barman says,
"Sorry, we don't serve spirits."

What happens if you cross a psychiatrist, Shakespeare and Buffy?
A good fanfic writer who analyses the fanfic.
 
A man walks into a bar... ouch!

Q:Why did the little boy fall off his bike?
A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Why does ET have such big eyes?
Because he saw his phone bill.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.

What do you call a frenchman in sandals?
Phillipe Phillope

A priest, rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says 'is this some kind of joke?'

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
 
X
xgirlanachronism245x
I can't stop laughing at the last three.
S
Spirit_Of_Fred
love those last four! hahaha! :P
I hope this doesn't upset anyone, but my boyfriend told me one today that I thought was funny (and a little mean).. please don't kick me off the boards if you don't like it, I'm very sorry! :S

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
 
If this doesn't make you all laugh...I dunno what will.
vespa2.jpg


Just incase you missed the funny:
vespa2s.jpg
 
ILLYRIAN
ILLYRIAN
Now if you'd put a Wesley instead of Spike.
S
Spirit_Of_Fred
hehehe! love it! :P
R
randiann
Where's his pink helmet??? That is too cute!
There was a brunette on the railroad tracks jumping up and down saying 22,22,22,22,22. So then a blonde walks by and thinks to herself that looks like fun. So she gets on the track and starts jumping. After 5 minutes the brunette jumps of but the blonde is still umpig and saying 22,22,22,22. Then a train comes and kills the blonde. So the brunette looks around and gets on the tracks and say 23,23,23,23

________________________________________________________________________

The Texas Salesman

A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.

"Have you ever been a salesman before?" the boss asked during his
interview.

"Yes, I was a salesman in Texas," the lad answered.

The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day. "I'll come and see how you made out after we close up," the boss said.

The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o'clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting, slumped and exhausted, in a chair. "How many sales did you make today?" the boss asked.

"One," said the lad.

"One?" said the boss, obviously displeased. "Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"

"Exactly $101,334.53," said the young man.

"How did you manage that?" asked the boss, flabbergasted.

"Well," said the lad, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and huge one. I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I said he'd probably need a boat, so I took him down to the
boat department and sold him that fancy 22-foot Chris Craft with twin engines. Then he said his Honda Civic probably wouldn't be able to handle the load, so I took him to the vehicle department and sold him a new GMC 1-ton pickup truck."

"You sold all that to guy who came in for a fish hook?" the boss
asked in astonishment.

"He didn't come in to buy a fish hook," the Texas boy explained. "He came in to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot. You might as well go fishing
__________________________________________________________________________
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever
_________________________________________________________________________
 
Back
Top Bottom