Nightmares: The Retention of Identity

[Kana]

I was thinking about the episode "Nightmares" and I was thinking about the implication it had on the metaphysics of becoming a vampire.

As I'm sure you are aware, in that episode, Buffy becomes a vampire, which realizes one of her worst fears. Now what's curious is that she seems to retain a real sense of, not only her personal identity, but also her moral identity and this is somewhat unusual for a vampire.
While it's not entirely certain what the soul is in the Buffyverse (even Joss himself has never really given a straight answer to this question), it seems that when an individual is turned and then loses their soul, there appears to be a huge psychological shift that often affects the individual's sense of moral identity. So why is it that Buffy retains hers?
Well it's my understanding that if a nightmare is to be a nightmare then it must place the individual in a state of terror or at least unrest. If someone were to fear becoming a vampire but after they were sired, they, like many other vampires, revel in their immoral behaviour, then the nightmare ceases to become a nightmare. In Buffy's case she must retain her sense of identity to experience the nightmare as a nightmare. So I'd argue that she most likely retained her soul or at least a part of herself that served a similar function.

So what are your thoughts? Was Buffy simply a normal vampire in that episode, or is there more going on?

 

[Kean]

I think you are spot on in saying that Buffy retains her sense of self so she can experience the nightmare as a nightmare. However, I've always pondered if Angel and his soul factored into it at all. I think at this stage of the verse it is very hard for Buffy to imagine what a vampire was like before it was turned. She knows it as she encounters it and doesn't think of anything before that moment. In keeping with that, she cannot imagine Angel being any different without his soul and so in turn, she imagines herself as a vampire as herself, but dead.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

Nightmares and dreams are not necessarily true or even self-consistent. I have had dreams where I was at a company where I used to work, but everything was different - the street where it was located, the events going on, the feelings I had at the time etc. I would say if anything, "Nightmares" was a little more "on the nose" than most dreams - there are dream dictionaries on the net that can interpret various things, and the interpretations are not always obvious but do make some kind of sense. Of course, it would have to be more obvious than the typical dream to make any kind of dramatic sense to a viewer.

A dream is like an electrical schematic where a resistor is represented by a zigzag line regardless of whether it is small enough to be carried under a fingernail or large enough to require a forklift (and I have worked with both sizes and everything in between). The idea is of a concept, not a pictorial representation of what you see. It is one level of abstraction removed from what you see.

Being turned into a vampire with human sensibilities may reflect the introduction of Angel, a vampire with a human soul who does not revel in his power and bloodlust. It represents the worst possible outcome of a battle - to not only lose to an enemy, but to be turned into him, an unfortunate possibility for many espionage agents.

 

[Robb Stark]

Well, my interpretation on that scene was always that Billy's whole "Nightmare Sunnydale" scenario was an elaborate construction of reality, not actual reality. Experiencing the scene as a nightmare makes a lot of sense as well.

 

[RoxySilver]

I think too that Buffy must retain some of her personality in order to experience her being a vampire as a nightmare.

However, I always wondered how much of the person's personality remains after they were sired.
I believe that this is in "Lie to me" that Buffy tells Ford - the guy who wants to be turned so that he doesn't die from cancer - that once a person is turned, the demon takes over. So memories are still there, the body is still there, but it is not the person anymore.
However, whan Darla sires Angel, he is a little thief or something, and he tells her he wants to see the world. This is what he gets to do as a soulless vampire but he doesn't let go of his desire to destroy things around him. Hence, he goes on and provoke the apocalypse.
William had a passionate, some would say almost incestuous relationship with his mother. He loved Cecily too. As a human, he was well educated. As a vampire, he turns his mother to be with her. He will always be obsessed and passionate about specific, strong women that may recall his mother or Cecily who was more respected in high society.
Drusilla, who was a powerful seer has a human, keeps this crazy vibe as a vampire.

So I was wondering: is being turned lash out the most profound desires, amplify them?
I am not sure that I am clear, but does the demon draw a lot form the human's characteristics?
I feel that being turned allowed those few people, who wanted to do a lot, had desires of power as humans, to achieve in a certain manner what they dreamt of but couldn't because they were powerless back then.

 

[Kana]

However, I always wondered how much of the person's personality remains after they were sired.

I think that's a thread topic in itself. I'll have to search and see if there is an active thread on the subject.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

So what are your thoughts? Was Buffy simply a normal vampire in that episode, or is there more going on?

Like Spike, Vamp!Buffy could be an anomaly - retaining conscience and human traits even after being turned.

I like to think that the reason Buffy retained her soul after being turned was because she is so strong, but I think your theory is definitely plausible and more interesting.

 

[NY State of Mind]

Your explanation sounds spot on its what I assumed watching

 

[ILLYRIAN]

Them good nightmares when you become what your worst nightmare declares, but a fluffy bunny type of vampire.
Buffy declared she wouldn't be bad until she'd fed. Whatever happened to the vampire going after blood and getting it no matter the cost.
I think it would depend on the vampire who turned her for her ability to still care, otherwise all vampires would be the same, like an automated demon.
Given that when a vampire is turned the soul is kicked out in the process, Angel and Spike get theirs back so they are capable of being good. Yet Buffy has hers from the start (obviously read the working script for Twilight).
When she discovered she was a vampire, when she was in the coffin, wouldn't the slayer in her have killed herself?

As for Xander still fancying her as a vampire - kinky.

 

[Vorchan]

Buffy as a Vampire

This would be an unusual cross for her, but she decides to make the best of it, and to still fight back against monsters.

 

[white avenger]

In order for the nightmare to be a true nightmare, Buffy would HAVE to, at some level, retain her own personality, call that soul, sense of self, or whatever you wish. If she were truly a monster, she wouldn't be horrified by what was going on, hence, no nightmare. She simply wouldn't care that she had changed. The only alternative would be if she were a disembodied spirit, helplessly observing what "she" as a vampire was doing.

It's been awhile sinci I saw this particular episode, but I seem to recall Buffy saying at some point that she was getting hungry. That, I think, would have been the greatest fear for her, the slow but inescapable decline from caring person into uncaring, raging, murdering beast. In order to experience that, she would have to retain her own personality and sense of right and wrong. Without it, she would have just shrugged, enjoyed a few Happy Meals on legs, and felt no guilt whatsoever for it.