unspokenwords
Bitesized
Warning: Spoilers for Season 5
Notes: Yes...I actually did this....and I'm making a whole series after this one...with Tabula Rasa.....stuff etc....
Summary: A rewrite of the Buffy Musical....but for Angel...and well....you'll see.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Open in Angel's bigass bedroom, he opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling as the camera zooms into his face.
Overture
The overture music is a medley of the musical themes from the rest of the episode. As it plays, we see the following action:
Begins with Gunn striding through the office, stopping by the front desk glaring and saying something to Harmony. He walks past towards Angel's office, pausing to smile and shake hands with another man in a suit.
Pan to the Lab, with Fred and Knox frowning over something, and then Fred walking away with a file in her hand the camera following her.
Pan back to Angel's bedroom as he gets out of bed and rubs his hands over his face.
Cut to Wolfram and Hart main entrance.... Overture music continues.
Pan to Opening elevator and Angel standing in it looking out for a moment then striding in, stopping by the Harmony's desk and receiving his mug of blood and a black file.
Pan to the Angel's office, and him sitting in his chair looking bored as Westley and some other suited folks are standing in front of him gesturing and speaking quickly....seems like an argument but you don't hear the argument.
Gunn comes into his line of sight, and points to something on his desk as Angel throws up his hands and walks out of his office, yelling something at Harmony and entering an Elevator.
End Overture.
Cut to nighttime LA, Angel is walking along with his hands in his pockets with broody expression on his face. Then all of a sudden he starts to sing.
Song: "Alive"
Angel: (verse one)
Every single day, the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight.
Still I always feel this strange estrangement
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.
A vampire pops out from around a corner and snarls at him in gameface, he side steps the vamp's advance.
Angel:
I've been making shows of [he blocks a swing and jams an elbow into the vamp's face] helping foes
Just hoping no one knows [ducks and low kicks the vamp's feet from under him slamming a stake into it's chest with a bored expression]
That I've been going through the motions
Walking through the part.
An ugly spikey demon attacks him from behind, and he blocks and in a quick movement throughs him against a wall watching him slide down the wall unconcious.
Angel: But nothing seems to touch my dried up walnut heart...
He keeps on walking, brooding and singing
Angel: (verse two)
I was always brave, the dark avenger
Now, CEO of Evil Inc.
We see 3 vampires attacking a a pretty young woman.
Angel:
Save the world, but still that Shanshu [punches 1st vamp and throws him head first into a wall]
Doesn't mean a thing [ducks a blow from 2nd vamp and side kicks him]
VAMP 1:
Please don't stake me? [Angel smirks and then there is a poof and the dusts settles as he pulls his hand back]
The 2nd vamp rushes Angel and knocks him down trying to get a punch to his face as Angel finally throws him off and lies there.
Angel: This should be embarrasing..
He continues laying there as the 2 vamps start to do a dance.
VAMPS :
He does pretty well, working for lawyers from hell
But lately we can tell [Angel gets up ]
That he's just going through the motions
Vamp2:
Going through the motions.
Angel pulls Vamp 2 off screen and there is sounds of a tussel then finally a whoosh sound of something being dusted.
VAMP 3: Faking it somehow. [The girl looking scared to death is suddenly jerked out of his grasp]
He's not even half the vamp he- [looks down at a stake protruding from his chest ] ow. [He fades to dust]
Angel dusts off his hands and re-pockets the stake starting to walk off.
Angel:
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?
The girl follows him, and we can see she is quite the babe.
Hot Chick:
How can I repay-
Angel:
[turns around in game face and snarls]
She runs away screaming.
Angel: That's better..
Angel:
I don't want to keeep...
[Jumps up on a stack of crates]
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive.
Failing the good fight
If this is really me
And I just want to be-
[He does one of those freaky flying jumps and scales the side of a building reaching the top and standing there looking down on LA]
Angel: Aliiiiiive.
End of song "Alive." Wide aerial shot of Angel looking down on LA with his coat billowing behind him dramatically.
Cut to Wolfram and Hart Day, Angel enters the Office
Gunn: (O.S.) Hey Sup Angel?
We see Wes and Fred standing near the counter. Gunn walking down the stairs.
Wes: Hello Angel, how did it go with Nina?
Angel: (distracted) What? Oh, great...uh fine.
Angel walks farther into his office, followed by the gang. Spike is sitting sprawled out in the chair facing the desk.
Spike: Took your bloody time getting in this morning.
Angel just glares.
Harmony:O.S. Here's your blood bossy!
Harmony enters the room handing Angel his mug of blood. Smiling at Spike as he rolls his eyes and turns to face Angel who is now sitting at his desk.
Angel: So uh, no...cases or um....big bads to take care of..Nothing strange your departments are working on...uh..
Wes and Fred shake their heads "no," While Gunn pauses to think for a moment then shakes his head quickly.
Angel: Good! That's what I like to hear. (awkwardly) Uh, so, did anybody ... uh ... last night, you know, did anybody, um suddenly just start singing?
Gunn drops the file in his hand. Everyone stares at Angel for a moment.
Spike: Bloody Hell!
Everybody except for Spike gets up and flocks to the desk.Everyone talks at once.
Wes: We thought it was just us!
Gunn: Well, I sang but I was just chillin in my office..
Fred: It was crazy. We were talking and then it was like-
Angel: Like you were in a Musical?
Fred: Yeah!
Gunn: That would explain the strobe lights and all the fly honeys dancing around...
Wes: My whole department did a number about finding books.
Harmony: Lorne and I were arguing..then all of a sudden it all rhymed and there was this whole broadway thing going on.
Wes: There was an entire verse about the dust.
Spike: I thought I was going mad.
[The above is everyone talking at once.]
Gunn: (to Angel) What did you sing about?
Angel: (pauses) I don't remember. But i-it seemed perfectly normal.
Spike: If he sang, then this had got to stop. It's not natural. It's not soddin' healthy...
Gunn: We should look into this.
Wes: Yes, I could start research..
Fred: I can get my department on it, see if its some kind of...singing virus?
Spike: Well then you better get cracking, fix it before it happens again. Because I for one-
[Wes begins to sing, interrupting Spike.]
Song: "I've Got A Theory"
Wes:
I've got a theory
That it's a demon
A dancing demon!
No, something isn't right there.
Gunn:
I've got a theory
Some funky mess went down
And we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare. [Fred doing "jazz hands"]
Fred:
I've got a theory we should work this out.
Harmony/Fred/Wes/Gunn:
It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?
Gunn: [jumps up]
It could be vampires!
Some evil vampires! [sees Spike and Angel's expressions]
Which is crazy, 'cause vampire they are demons,
They drink blood and are evil crackpots...unless they're souled
and I'll be over here. [sits]
Harmony: I've got a theory! It could be astronauts!
Silence. The others just stare at her. Sound of crickets chirping.
Fred: I've got a-
Suddenly the tune changes to a frantic hard-rock beat with electric guitar and a roving spotlight that waves crazily over Harmony.
Harmony: (shrieking a la Alanis Morissette)
Astronauts aren't just special like everybody supposes!
They lie to chicks in bars and get drained right under their noses!
And what's with the bulky spacesuits?
What do they need so much room for anyway?
[playing air guitar]
Astronauts!
Astronauts!
It must be Astronauts!
Fireworks go off all around her, then the smoke clears away. The others continue simply staring.
Harmony: (back to original melody)
Or maybe Unicorns.
Wes: (quickly sits down near Angel's desk and opens a book)
I've got a theory we should work this fast.
Wes/Gunn:
Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed.
Gunn gets up, starts to leave the room.
Angel: I've got a theory. It doesn't matter.
Gunn pauses, turns back. Everyone looks at Angel.
Angel:
What can't we face if we're together?
What's in this place that we can't weather?
Apocalypse?
We've all been there.
The same old trips
Why should we care?
ALL EXCEPT Spike and Wes:
What can't we do if we get in it?
We'll work it through within a minute.
Angel looks at Wes throughout this. He watches him too and finally joins in.
ALL(minus spike, who is watching with a cocked eyebrow):
We'll work this through
We'll solve the case
It's here or hell
Angel:
Hey, I've been there.. .
Gunn smiles, comes back into the room.
ALL( Exept for Spike): What can't we face if we're together?
Wes: (descant) What can't we face...
ALL( minus Spike): What's in this place that we can't weather?
Wes: ...if we're together...
ALL: There's nothing we can't face.
Harmony: (sits) Except for Astronauts.
End of song "I've Got A Theory."
Spike: (smirks) Well I'll be buggered..
Fred: (sits) I thought it was neat
Angel: So what is it? What's causing it?
Wes: I thought it didn't matter.
Angel: Well, I'm not exactly waiting for impending doom but something is going on here, and I think we should find out what..
Harmony: Well, is it just us? I mean, is it only happening to us? (Angel turns away) 'Cause that would probably mean a spell or-
Angel goes to the office door, opens it.
Cut to the Lobby. A man (A client) stands in the lobby holding a thick file.
Man: (sings) They got ... my evil ass ... out!
We see a whole crowd of people standing in dance formation holding files. They do a synchronized dance, waving the files around.
CROWD: (sings) They got our evil asses out!
Angel turns back into the office, closes the door.
Angel: It's not just us.
( TBC)
Notes: Yes...I actually did this....and I'm making a whole series after this one...with Tabula Rasa.....stuff etc....
Summary: A rewrite of the Buffy Musical....but for Angel...and well....you'll see.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Open in Angel's bigass bedroom, he opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling as the camera zooms into his face.
Overture
The overture music is a medley of the musical themes from the rest of the episode. As it plays, we see the following action:
Begins with Gunn striding through the office, stopping by the front desk glaring and saying something to Harmony. He walks past towards Angel's office, pausing to smile and shake hands with another man in a suit.
Pan to the Lab, with Fred and Knox frowning over something, and then Fred walking away with a file in her hand the camera following her.
Pan back to Angel's bedroom as he gets out of bed and rubs his hands over his face.
Cut to Wolfram and Hart main entrance.... Overture music continues.
Pan to Opening elevator and Angel standing in it looking out for a moment then striding in, stopping by the Harmony's desk and receiving his mug of blood and a black file.
Pan to the Angel's office, and him sitting in his chair looking bored as Westley and some other suited folks are standing in front of him gesturing and speaking quickly....seems like an argument but you don't hear the argument.
Gunn comes into his line of sight, and points to something on his desk as Angel throws up his hands and walks out of his office, yelling something at Harmony and entering an Elevator.
End Overture.
Cut to nighttime LA, Angel is walking along with his hands in his pockets with broody expression on his face. Then all of a sudden he starts to sing.
Song: "Alive"
Angel: (verse one)
Every single day, the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight.
Still I always feel this strange estrangement
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right.
A vampire pops out from around a corner and snarls at him in gameface, he side steps the vamp's advance.
Angel:
I've been making shows of [he blocks a swing and jams an elbow into the vamp's face] helping foes
Just hoping no one knows [ducks and low kicks the vamp's feet from under him slamming a stake into it's chest with a bored expression]
That I've been going through the motions
Walking through the part.
An ugly spikey demon attacks him from behind, and he blocks and in a quick movement throughs him against a wall watching him slide down the wall unconcious.
Angel: But nothing seems to touch my dried up walnut heart...
He keeps on walking, brooding and singing
Angel: (verse two)
I was always brave, the dark avenger
Now, CEO of Evil Inc.
We see 3 vampires attacking a a pretty young woman.
Angel:
Save the world, but still that Shanshu [punches 1st vamp and throws him head first into a wall]
Doesn't mean a thing [ducks a blow from 2nd vamp and side kicks him]
VAMP 1:
Please don't stake me? [Angel smirks and then there is a poof and the dusts settles as he pulls his hand back]
The 2nd vamp rushes Angel and knocks him down trying to get a punch to his face as Angel finally throws him off and lies there.
Angel: This should be embarrasing..
He continues laying there as the 2 vamps start to do a dance.
VAMPS :
He does pretty well, working for lawyers from hell
But lately we can tell [Angel gets up ]
That he's just going through the motions
Vamp2:
Going through the motions.
Angel pulls Vamp 2 off screen and there is sounds of a tussel then finally a whoosh sound of something being dusted.
VAMP 3: Faking it somehow. [The girl looking scared to death is suddenly jerked out of his grasp]
He's not even half the vamp he- [looks down at a stake protruding from his chest ] ow. [He fades to dust]
Angel dusts off his hands and re-pockets the stake starting to walk off.
Angel:
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?
The girl follows him, and we can see she is quite the babe.
Hot Chick:
How can I repay-
Angel:
[turns around in game face and snarls]
She runs away screaming.
Angel: That's better..
Angel:
I don't want to keeep...
[Jumps up on a stack of crates]
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive.
Failing the good fight
If this is really me
And I just want to be-
[He does one of those freaky flying jumps and scales the side of a building reaching the top and standing there looking down on LA]
Angel: Aliiiiiive.
End of song "Alive." Wide aerial shot of Angel looking down on LA with his coat billowing behind him dramatically.
Cut to Wolfram and Hart Day, Angel enters the Office
Gunn: (O.S.) Hey Sup Angel?
We see Wes and Fred standing near the counter. Gunn walking down the stairs.
Wes: Hello Angel, how did it go with Nina?
Angel: (distracted) What? Oh, great...uh fine.
Angel walks farther into his office, followed by the gang. Spike is sitting sprawled out in the chair facing the desk.
Spike: Took your bloody time getting in this morning.
Angel just glares.
Harmony:O.S. Here's your blood bossy!
Harmony enters the room handing Angel his mug of blood. Smiling at Spike as he rolls his eyes and turns to face Angel who is now sitting at his desk.
Angel: So uh, no...cases or um....big bads to take care of..Nothing strange your departments are working on...uh..
Wes and Fred shake their heads "no," While Gunn pauses to think for a moment then shakes his head quickly.
Angel: Good! That's what I like to hear. (awkwardly) Uh, so, did anybody ... uh ... last night, you know, did anybody, um suddenly just start singing?
Gunn drops the file in his hand. Everyone stares at Angel for a moment.
Spike: Bloody Hell!
Everybody except for Spike gets up and flocks to the desk.Everyone talks at once.
Wes: We thought it was just us!
Gunn: Well, I sang but I was just chillin in my office..
Fred: It was crazy. We were talking and then it was like-
Angel: Like you were in a Musical?
Fred: Yeah!
Gunn: That would explain the strobe lights and all the fly honeys dancing around...
Wes: My whole department did a number about finding books.
Harmony: Lorne and I were arguing..then all of a sudden it all rhymed and there was this whole broadway thing going on.
Wes: There was an entire verse about the dust.
Spike: I thought I was going mad.
[The above is everyone talking at once.]
Gunn: (to Angel) What did you sing about?
Angel: (pauses) I don't remember. But i-it seemed perfectly normal.
Spike: If he sang, then this had got to stop. It's not natural. It's not soddin' healthy...
Gunn: We should look into this.
Wes: Yes, I could start research..
Fred: I can get my department on it, see if its some kind of...singing virus?
Spike: Well then you better get cracking, fix it before it happens again. Because I for one-
[Wes begins to sing, interrupting Spike.]
Song: "I've Got A Theory"
Wes:
I've got a theory
That it's a demon
A dancing demon!
No, something isn't right there.
Gunn:
I've got a theory
Some funky mess went down
And we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmare. [Fred doing "jazz hands"]
Fred:
I've got a theory we should work this out.
Harmony/Fred/Wes/Gunn:
It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?
Gunn: [jumps up]
It could be vampires!
Some evil vampires! [sees Spike and Angel's expressions]
Which is crazy, 'cause vampire they are demons,
They drink blood and are evil crackpots...unless they're souled
and I'll be over here. [sits]
Harmony: I've got a theory! It could be astronauts!
Silence. The others just stare at her. Sound of crickets chirping.
Fred: I've got a-
Suddenly the tune changes to a frantic hard-rock beat with electric guitar and a roving spotlight that waves crazily over Harmony.
Harmony: (shrieking a la Alanis Morissette)
Astronauts aren't just special like everybody supposes!
They lie to chicks in bars and get drained right under their noses!
And what's with the bulky spacesuits?
What do they need so much room for anyway?
[playing air guitar]
Astronauts!
Astronauts!
It must be Astronauts!
Fireworks go off all around her, then the smoke clears away. The others continue simply staring.
Harmony: (back to original melody)
Or maybe Unicorns.
Wes: (quickly sits down near Angel's desk and opens a book)
I've got a theory we should work this fast.
Wes/Gunn:
Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed.
Gunn gets up, starts to leave the room.
Angel: I've got a theory. It doesn't matter.
Gunn pauses, turns back. Everyone looks at Angel.
Angel:
What can't we face if we're together?
What's in this place that we can't weather?
Apocalypse?
We've all been there.
The same old trips
Why should we care?
ALL EXCEPT Spike and Wes:
What can't we do if we get in it?
We'll work it through within a minute.
Angel looks at Wes throughout this. He watches him too and finally joins in.
ALL(minus spike, who is watching with a cocked eyebrow):
We'll work this through
We'll solve the case
It's here or hell
Angel:
Hey, I've been there.. .
Gunn smiles, comes back into the room.
ALL( Exept for Spike): What can't we face if we're together?
Wes: (descant) What can't we face...
ALL( minus Spike): What's in this place that we can't weather?
Wes: ...if we're together...
ALL: There's nothing we can't face.
Harmony: (sits) Except for Astronauts.
End of song "I've Got A Theory."
Spike: (smirks) Well I'll be buggered..
Fred: (sits) I thought it was neat
Angel: So what is it? What's causing it?
Wes: I thought it didn't matter.
Angel: Well, I'm not exactly waiting for impending doom but something is going on here, and I think we should find out what..
Harmony: Well, is it just us? I mean, is it only happening to us? (Angel turns away) 'Cause that would probably mean a spell or-
Angel goes to the office door, opens it.
Cut to the Lobby. A man (A client) stands in the lobby holding a thick file.
Man: (sings) They got ... my evil ass ... out!
We see a whole crowd of people standing in dance formation holding files. They do a synchronized dance, waving the files around.
CROWD: (sings) They got our evil asses out!
Angel turns back into the office, closes the door.
Angel: It's not just us.
( TBC)