One Big Lie

A

Angels baby101

I hath Returned! MWhaha
Joined
Sep 22, 2002
Messages
7,736
Age
38
Location
Wilmington Delaware
Ok these problems all started well a year ago when i met the sweetest guy online well soon after i fell deeply in love with him and we talked about marrage and everything. Then he came down with Cancer and went through those problems being teased and everything then on january 1st he died well it was all a lie...he wasn't even real my mother made him up. then made me fall for him then killed him off and she didn't tell me its been 10 months and i just found out today due to some other stuff happening. about 8 months ago my step brother raped me and i told no one well an ex of mine had told my step mom i had sex with him to get me into trouble cuz i would not date him agian. because of this my dad wanted to know if i had had sex and i told him i was raped so not only do i have to deal with the fact of my ex being a lie and i have to give a rape report to the cops. I trust you of buffy boards your my family more of a family then my own obviously so any of you have any advice on how to get over all this?
 
I'm sorry to hear about that honey. How did your Mother manage to make your boyfriend up? Didn't you see him while you were going out? Or was it an internet love? I'm just not getting my head round that.

I'm sure you're not feeling up to explaining these things at all so if you don't want to then don't worry... I won't take offense or anything like that.

I know it's difficult going through a rape case, I've been there. But you're strong enough to do it. I know you are. If you're strong enough to have survived and kept it quiet, your strong enough to bring it out in the open. I know it's the hardest thing to do but you can do it. Just tell the policeman/woman that you're fragile and that you need to take your time. They'll understand. I'm glad that you will be getting it sorted out. I know it seems that there's a lot of hassle at the moment but once it's over it's over... don't worry.
 
I told the policeman everythng i dont think he believes me though and it was an internet thing. but i never thought my mom would do something i said
 
How did your mother make up a person and then kill them off? I'm confused.

I know how hard something like this. If you remember the same thing happened to me a year ago. So if you ever need to talk I'm here for you.

I hope your step brother gets put in jail because what he did to you wasn't right at all. I hope everything works out for you.
 
she made him up and talked to me and then i thought he was real i started an online relation ship with the person she made up and we talked about marrage and stuff and i guess she had all the fun she wanted to so decided to make her characters fate death. its just messin me up majorly thanks hero thats sweet and i'll IM you if i need to talk
 
Why would your mother do something like that? You seem like a very beautifully intellegent and sweet girl. Some people are just cruel I guess.
 
Like elmo said, once its over, its over. And I too am really sorry to hear about that. I've never been raped or anything, but I know that it's really hard to deal with. But it will get better, time seems to fix everything. But that's just it. It will take time. But in the meanwhile, like Hero said, if you ever need to talk then you can talk to me if you want.

What your stepbrother did was very wrong, and also what your mother did was wrong. If she wanted to know something, she should have just asked you about it. Not go so far as to make up a person to find something out. That's just my opinion though.

But right now, don't worry, it will get better. Be brave. I know you are, and you can overcome this, and show everyone that you are really strong to deal with something like this. If you ever feel like you need help, just remember that were all here for you 🙂

I wish you the best of luck with this, and I hope it all works out soon 🙂
 
Ok. You have a step-mom with a rapist son. A mother (I'm unclear of this part) who made up a guy, and a father who doesn't believe you were raped. 3 people. Dear, if the cop doesn't believe you, keep asking for one who will...tell them you'd feel more comfortable with a female officer...she's more likely to listen to what you are saying, not what others have said. Talk to someone at school, if you can...guidance coucillors can help. In the meantime, listen to elmo and Hero...they know what they're talking about, and can help loads. I (being the law and order type) want you to tell your story to as many authority figures as it takes to get these very disturbed people either straightened up or out of your life. Please listen to elmo and Hero...they know...I'm now turning it over to them, but PM me if you need a third opinion. I'll be posting here too if I come up with something useful.

Take care, ok?

kd
 
F
Frenchy Faith
[No message]
killerdwarf said:
Ok. You have a step-mom with a rapist son. A mother (I'm unclear of this part) who made up a guy, and a father who doesn't believe you were raped. 3 people. Dear, if the cop doesn't believe you, keep asking for one who will...tell them you'd feel more comfortable with a female officer...she's more likely to listen to what you are saying, not what others have said. Talk to someone at school, if you can...guidance coucillors can help. In the meantime, listen to elmo and Hero...they know what they're talking about, and can help loads. I (being the law and order type) want you to tell your story to as many authority figures as it takes to get these very disturbed people either straightened up or out of your life. Please listen to elmo and Hero...they know...I'm now turning it over to them, but PM me if you need a third opinion. I'll be posting here too if I come up with something useful.

Take care, ok?

kd
Click to expand...

KD has said some very useful things here. You should probably be talking to a female officer. I did, and she was amazing. Very helpful and empathetic. You need that. They have to believe you at first, it's not an option for them. They have to treat the case as being potentially true. So you just keep telling your story. Believe me, I know it hard, I really do but it will help you. The more you tell the story, the more they will believe you. I think I had to tell about 5 different people but they believed me because the story never changed. I'm here if you need a friend.

Your Mother sounds to me like she has a few problems of her own and I don't understand how someone could mess with your head like that. My Mother is a very manipulative woman who can spin any story she wants... she's out of my life now. Your Mother doesn't sound like she deserves to have you in her life either. But tell me if I'm wrong, by all means, I don't want to offend you. If she could have conversations with you over the internet as someone else she needs to seek professional help.

I'm gonna say that I'm here if you need to talk again... just to highlight it. 🙂

Good luck and don't be afraid... you're strong. 😉
 
Thanks to all of you you guys are the sweetest people i know i knew i could count on you guys. My mom has never done anything this bad before that i can remember everyone said she did it out of love and to a point i can see that she could have and to another i cant see how she took it that far, as of now i have nothing to do with her nor do i want to have anything to do with her, i love her to death but at this point in time hatred just consumes that and its an aweful thing to say that you hate the woman who gave you life but it was wrong. I am also highly pissed off at my family cause they all knew about it but never opened their mouths to tell me. It could have all been avoided i plan to talk to my school counsiler today and i have an appointment to go to therapy and talk to them. as for my step brother he's married and in california now they said they cant do anything about it and they are right.. its been a year and a half now pretty much and my dad should just drop it where it is. i've moved on for the most part about the rape you never forgive or forget but you move on, and worst part is i had moved to a point of understanding with "Mike" my bf or my makebelieve bf that he was gone and dead now i have this to deal with along with a spliting head ache from hitting the head board to hard (didn't know i did it till 3 hrs later after finding out he was fake)

Thank you all for the advice and if you have anymore i'd love to hear it it helps to talk about it with people you get along with and people you have things in common with its easier then some old man who probley picks his nose behind his desk then shakes your hand and asks "how do you feel about that" and "How was your child hood" sorry just trying to cheer myself up there 😉
 
E
elmo
You are very welcome. I'm here anytime you need me. :)
I don't understand the laws in the US! My Dad was charged 4 years later. He didn't get what he deserved by any account but he at least got something. But if you feel that you've moved on then perhaps it's not a good idea to keep fighting for it. I still think it may be a good idea to confront some memories or feelings. You don't want to end up with repressed memories that haunt you in the night like myself. A counsellor is a good idea and I'm glad that you're doing something about seeing one.

I hope that your Mother has learned her lesson. I can't see how doing such a thing was out of love but perhaps there's something I haven't thought about or something I don't really know about. I can't really help you on that. I think for a while you will feel resentment (not so much hatred) for your mother. She did a very bad thing that messed with your mind. You have a right to feel bad feelings towards her and I hope that she understands that.

I take it you live with your Dad? I think you should have a heart to heart with him and let him know that you want to move. Give him the reasons why and tell him gently that you want him to leave it now. It'll be hard for him because he didn't know about it and he feels that he owes you justice for what you have been through.

Take care.
 
Angels baby101 said:
as for my step brother he's married and in california now they said they cant do anything about it and they are right.. its been a year and a half now pretty much and my dad should just drop it where it is. i've moved on for the most part about the rape you never forgive or forget but you move on
Click to expand...

I think something should still be done because then it's like saying that what he did was ok. And it's definately not.
 
I'm so sorry for you hun. That's a horrible thing to go through and I'm sure I can speak for all of us at BB when I say I think it's great that you can come to us with that stuff and by the looks of it, we hope we haven't let you down with the support you've been given so far.

From what my sister tells me, there is no statute of limitations for Rape in the united states, meaning that even if it happened 20 years ago, it can still be tried as if it happened last week. Now while I can't put myself if your place, the only thing I can think to say is that if he's not punished for this, what's to stop him from doing it again?
 
I d dont know thats what the cop said that it was too late to do anything cuz theres no evidence that i'm telling the truth and all... the only thing they can do is file a report. and i've always blamed myself for what happened with me and my step bro cuz he always told me it was my fault because ilook older then i am. I was 15 and looked 21 or older.
 
It's never your fault you got raped. I don't care what you were wearing, what you look like, how old you look like...it's never the person who's raped fault.
 
It's normal for you to blame yourself. I did it and so do a lot of survivors but it's not your fault. I still do it sometimes but you have to believe that it's not your fault as it can get you down even more than you are.

I suggest you take a medical if you haven't already. There may be some evidence. I agree with what people have said, he should be punished for what he's done to you and not get away with it. However, if you don't want to do it, then don't. It's up to you. If you do, then I would tell the policeman that you want to speak to a woman and you want to have a medical. It's not hopeless because, after 4 years, they still found evidence on me.

Remember, it's not your fault. Anyone who goes through this kinda thing blames themselves... but it's not your fault.
 
elmo said:
Remember, it's not your fault. Anyone who goes through this kinda thing blames themselves... but it's not your fault.
Click to expand...

Elmo and Cordy are right on the money here. The hardest part of all this will be accepting that you were not in control, and that it wasn't your fault. I'm not gonna tell you it'll be quick, but you will eventually be able to forgive yourself for not being in control...But I can hope it happens as soon as it can. And I'm not American, but I knew that there was no statute of limitations on rape, especially of a minor, so why doesn't a cop get it? As elmo said, keep telling your story, as it really happened, and tell it to everyone who comes along until someone believes you. And come here for support (but not only here...face to face councilling is of primary importance here). That being said, these people here are truly awesome, caring people. They can help!
 
i'm so sorry AB! for everything! And i ahve nothing to had to the great advice you ahve already been given, but i will say that, it's such a typical rapist defence; the girls looks older, the girl dresses so and so... look at her... and they make it all baout what the girl looks like and in reality it's all them, it's not like every girl who looks older then she is or wears short skrits and so on is inviting to be abused or haveing sex... it's the rapist there is someting wrong with NOT the victim!! Well my point being, this is not your fault! he is the messed up one, the sicko NOT you!! i hope you get this sorted out, and that someone will hear your story and really listen and believe you! And (i mean no disrespect) your mom must have some problems, making up aguy and tricking her OWN dauther like that!!! And i'm sorta fglad your step bro is in cali and hopefully FAR FAAAAAR away from you! Good Luck sweety! Please feel free to Pm me if you ever need to talk!
 
I know to a point its not my fault and that it is his but its hard to really make yourself believe that I'm doing alittle better not much I've had a headache for 3 days straight from hitting the headboard to hard and i'm still crying at times when i dont even relize it and my ex bf who started all this keeps comming over to talk to my step mom because he still likes me and wants to be around me all the time and he keeps touching me on the arm or something trying to talk to me and all that and i know if he keepts it up i'm gonna loose my temper and jump on him trying to beat the hell out of him and i'm not a mean person by any account but i have a very bad temper and i can loose it easy i know it would be wrong to hit him...Wouldn't it?
 
I can see why that would be something that would set you off, being he's an ex and all, but please try not to lay a beating on his ass...I know you are hurting, and he's annoying, but you could get into trouble if you slug him. That won't help in the get-them-to-believe-me department. Just tell him to screw off and stay away from him...and when you tell the ex to screw off, make sure you are calm, and firm and there's no question what you mean...tell him it's over, that you won' t change your mind, and that nothing he'll do will change your mind. That should work, if he's not a crazed stalker idiot...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom