One Liners

Who do you think is the funniest?

  • Buffy

    Votes: 2 12.5%

  • Willow

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Xander

    Votes: 5 31.3%

  • Giles

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Oz

    Votes: 2 12.5%

  • Cordelia

    Votes: 1 6.3%

  • Angel

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Spike

    Votes: 4 25.0%

  • Anya

    Votes: 2 12.5%

  • Dawn

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Tara

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Wesley

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Riley

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Gunn

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Fred

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Other (if so, Who?)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    16
A

Anita Blake

The Executioner
Joined
Jun 12, 2002
Messages
1,765
Age
40
Location
Waco, TX
All right peoples. Here's the deal. We all have, at one time or another, heard someone say a line and it was just so funny that everytime you said it you burst out laughing. Well now is the time to share the laughter. Just submit your favorite one liner and at the end of each week I will read through them and tell you who is the funniest character (or character with most one line submitiions) and who is the King/Queen of one liners (or the member with the most submitions).

Ready? Let's begin.

Xander: For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me. ~The Witch
 
I like Oz's one liners best, they're simple and always make me smile. Like in 'Becoming Part II' 'Can someone please explain to me what's going on because this is making the kind of sense that's not."

And in 'Band Candy' when Buffy comment's that something's weird I adore his reply, 'Something's not?"

And I can't remember the episode but talking about ice 'Ice is cool, it's water but it's not."

'I may be a cold blooded jelly doughnut but my timing's impecable."

And it's kinda long but when he explains parties, "Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.
 
wesley's "i wasn't thinking about you while you were here" was about as sharp as you could get
 
I think spike is the funniest!!!! Theres just so many lines that are funny that i cant pick just one!! so i wont put any. lol..i know the writers are the funny ones who make it up but the way jm/spike says them there sooooooo funny and hilarious. My favourite though is probably :

(ha ha i know i wouldnt put one down but here it goes)

Buffy: What are you doing here 5 words or less.
Spike: Out.For.A.Walk.Bî±cµ [while saying it he counts on his fingers] very funny anyway!!!
 
Spike is pretty funny too. I like in Becoming pt. I when he first sees Acathala 'it's a big rock, Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big'. And I don't remember the episode but when Angelus says that riping out Buffy's lungs lacks poetry, Spike's reply 'it doens't have to, what rhymes with lungs.'
 
alot of my favs are from the ep Tabula Rasa. I just love that ep.


GILES: Spike?
ANYA: Holy moly.
SPIKE: You need to give me asylum.
XANDER: I'll say.
XANDER: No need to get cute. (takes off hat, throws it down) It's a disguise. Happens there's a bloke I'd rather not see just now.

XANDER: (scrambling to his feet) Okay, who are you freaks?

WILLOW: You don't know me?
XANDER: Not a clue.
WILLOW: But you were just all like, (imitating him) 'oh, hey.'
XANDER: Yeah, 'cause I thought you were a girl and I'd remember, but...
WILLOW: (grabs her breasts) Well, I am a girl! I'm ... not sure ... who I am exactly, but...
XANDER: (yelling) Okay, why was I on the ground? And why are you all staring at me? Is this some kind of psych test? Am I getting paid for this?

GILES: (smiling) Well, maybe we all got ... terribly drunk and this is some sort of, uh, blackout.
DAWN: (uncertain) I don't think I drink.
ANYA: I-I don't see any booze. I don't feel any head bumps. (looks around) I don't see Allen Funt.
GILES: Who?
XANDER: (panicky) Okay. I'm not panicking. I'm not. I'm not. (everyone looking at him) Stop looking at me like I'm panicking!
BUFFY: Hey, hey, take it easy, guy. Okay, no one's hurt, right? And, and none of us look all hatchety-murdery, so ... we're probably safe. Here. Wherever here is.

GILES: (scoffs) Magic! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. (everyone looking at him) Except I seem to be British, don't I? Uh, and a man. With ... glasses. (removes glasses) Well, that narrows it down considerably.

GILES: We'll all get our memory back, and it'll all be right as rain.
SPIKE: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. (everyone looking at him) You Englishmen are always so... (pauses) Bloody hell! (ticks off on his fingers) Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
GILES: (puts glasses on) Welcome to the nancy tribe.
SPIKE: You don't suppose you and I ... we're not related, are we?
ANYA: There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.

Giles smiles at Anya with pleasure.

GILES: (to Spike) And you do inspire a, um ... (Spike walking out from behind the counter) particular feeling of ... familiarity and ... disappointment.

Spike walks up to Giles, scowling. They look at each other.

GILES: Older brother?
SPIKE: (scoffs) Father. (Giles looks outraged) Oh, god, how I must hate you.
GILES: What did I do?
SPIKE: There's always something, and what's with the trollop? (indicates Anya)
ANYA: Hey!
GILES: Her?
SPIKE: I saw you! Sleeping together.
GILES: Resting together.
ANYA: Look! (holds up her hand with the engagement ring) It's okay. We're engaged.
GILES: (smiling) Oh.
ANYA: It's a lovely ring.
SPIKE: Oh, great, a tarty stepmom who's half old Daddy's age.
ANYA: Tarty?
GILES: Old? You little twerp, I'm young enough to still get carded.

GILES: I'm, uh, called Rupert Giles.
ANYA: (smiling fondly) Rupert.
SPIKE: Rupert! (giggles)
GILES: You're not too old to put across my knee, you know ... sonny. (Spike still laughing) Anyway, what did I call you?
SPIKE: Um...

Spike examines his clothing, finds a label on the inside of his suit jacket.

SPIKE: 'Made with care for Randy.' (looks at Giles angrily) Randy Giles? Why not just call me 'Horny Giles,' or 'Desperate for a Shag Giles'? I knew there was a reason I hated you!
GILES: Randy's ... a family name, undoubtedly.

DAWN: (to Buffy) So you don't have a name?
BUFFY: Of course I do. I just don't happen to know it.
DAWN: (smiling) You want me to name you?
BUFFY: Oh, that's sweet, but I think I can name myself. (thinks) I'll name me ... Joan. [transcriber's note: great choice!]
DAWN: (makes a face) Ugh!
BUFFY: What? Did you just 'ugh' my name?
DAWN: No! I just ... I mean, it's so blah. Joan?
BUFFY: I like it. I feel like a Joan.
DAWN: (chuckles) Fine, that's your purgative.
BUFFY: Prerogative.
DAWN: Whatever, Joan.
BUFFY: Whatever, Umad.
DAWN/BUFFY: (unison) Boy, you're a pain in the/Boy, you're bossy!

They look at each other in surprise.

DAWN: Do you think we're-
BUFFY: Sisters?

They smile and hug each other.

SPIKE: (to Giles) You never showed me affection like that!

Giles looks confused.

SPIKE: ...I'd wager.
BUFFY: Well, we need to figure out what's going on. We need to get help.
SPIKE: Looks like Joan fancies herself the boss.

BUFFY: Any suggestions on how we're gonna get there?
SPIKE: Dad can drive. He's bound to have some classic midlife-crisis transport. (puts arm around Giles's shoulder) Something red, shiny, shaped like a penis.
 
Lucky Anya got to kiss Giles /sigh Lucky lady. I want a turn lol.

Hey Angel! Hey all ya all I'm new here and I love Giles/ASH!
 
Oz beats all.

Oz (talking to Willow): I think you'd sweat cute blood.

Oz (thinking to himself in Earshot): I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. Huh.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom