Oz/Veruca Vs Xander/Willow

Jules

Jules

Bite Me
Joined
Jun 18, 2003
Messages
4,057
Age
42
Location
England
Black Thorn
I didn't notice a thread for this, but apologies if I've missed it.

I've just watched Wild at Heart and I was struck by something Willow said. It's just after she's found Oz in the cage with Veruca. Oz says he knows how it feels to be hurt and Willow says that this can't compare to what she did with Xander:

Oz: I know how it feels. I remember.
Willow Oh. So what, this is payback? I had this coming?
Oz: No. It's not--
Willow : Because I thought that was behind us. And you know, what happened with Xander, it doesn't compare. Not with what you and I had. Not with whatever you've been doing with her.
Click to expand...

I was just wondering, why does it not compare? Willow and Xander went around for weeks before they were found out. Oz gave in to an animal attraction that you could argue he had no control over. Fair enough, you could argue that Oz went a little further than just kissing, but he was in wolf form and therefore doesn't have control of his actions.

Now, I'm not saying that if I'd been Willow I would have forgiven him on the spot, I just thought that she didn't have the right to say that what she did with Xander was different.

Anyone else agree?
 
All people a selfish to some degree, all think the truth is on their side. And maybe Willow hadn't considered kisses as cheating, unlike actual interaction. She was confident in her love, but went all lost and inconfident in Oz.
At such perspective she had all rights to say so.
 
I would also have to say that Willow may have forgiven him and they could have gotten back together if Oz had not left so suddenly. I think that he felt really guilty for what he did and that is why he went off to make himself a better man for Willow. And he needed to do it for himself. And then his return was just bad timing with Willow finding out that she was gay and now with Tara.
 
I've always thought Willow overreacted and by saying that was just wrong. Going around for weeks, in full control of your actions, and hurting the one you love is alot worse than one night where you have no control over yourself and only did it to save the other person. So I agree that Willow's situation can compare, if not was worse than what Oz did.
 
Maybe she thinks of it as how Xander had been her friend since Kindergarden so she had known him basically her whole life and was a loyal friend to her. She had always held some attraction to Xander and that led to other actions, coincidentally when they were both involved with other people. Oz, on the other hand, hadn't known Veruca for that long and I guess she perceived it as a real affair whereas she sees her fling with Xander as a best friends type of a deal.

I'm not saying Willow was right that it doesn't compare because it does of course. Both acted outside of their relationship, I'm just saying how Willow might have looked at is as different where Xander wasn't physically trying to steal Willow from Oz out of jealousy and lust whereas that's what Veruca was doing.
 
I agree.

Although, Oz shouldn't have brought up the past. That made it look like he was just biding his time until he could "get her back".

But, what Willow did WAS just as bad, if not worse, in my opinion. Because she really did care about Xander for SO LONG and still does in so many ways. Weird animal flings aren't NEARLY as bad as real life feelings and relationships that drag on and on while hiding them.

If I had to catch MY hubby cheating, I'd MUCH rather it be a drunken fling with someone he barely knows that a real relationship with someone he cared for that he hid for a long time.
 
Dlou444 said:
If I had to catch MY hubby cheating, I'd MUCH rather it be a drunken fling with someone he barely knows that a real relationship with someone he cared for that he hid for a long time.
Click to expand...

Ha! Having very recently gone through this sort of thing myself, I agree. It was wrong of Willow to say that, but I guess it was a reflex reaction to her emotions.
 
I have always thought that what Willow did with Xander was worse than what Oz did with Veruca. What he did with Veruca was just kamshukking, were kamshukking at that. It was totally void of emotion. Willow on the other hand had been in love with Xander for years before she found Oz. Her cheating was mostly based on emotion and I just can't help but feel that that is a bigger betrayal than heartless sex that Oz couldn't even remember having.
 
Keanoite said:
I have always thought that what Willow did with Xander was worse than what Oz did with Veruca. What he did with Veruca was just kamshukking, were kamshukking at that. It was totally void of emotion. Willow on the other hand had been in love with Xander for years before she found Oz. Her cheating was mostly based on emotion and I just can't help but feel that that is a bigger betrayal than heartless sex that Oz couldn't even remember having.
Click to expand...

Exactly. I can see how Willow would be pissed and upset, but couldn't she see Oz didn't 'love' Veruca, and that he loved Willow!! That he was only trying to help others not.. himself.
 
Maybe it wasn't about the sex. Maybe it was about the trust--Willow thought that even as a wolf, Oz was completely trustworthy--and that Oz had found someone who could share his wolf-ness and Willow couldn't. Which makes the whole thing with Tara even more interesting, because Willow found someone who could share the magic thing with her--since Oz didn't quite trust the magic thing and worried about Willow.

I'm not sure that was as coherent as I would have liked, but yeah.
 
No I get what you are saying BB...and I would be inclined to agree with you if Willow hadn't shown a total disregard for having someones trust as she did with Oz and later with Tara.
 
I think, with the Xander thing, Willow was confused. I read somewhere (probably one of the books for my thesis) that Willow has a self-destructive personality, that she doesn't believe that she's worth a happy relationship, so she subconsciously sabotaged her thing with Oz. And Xander was FINALLY interested in her (I have rants about that, but that's not for this thread). I'm not saying that lets her off the hook, but it might explain some things.

Oz hid his whole thing with Veruca, too. Like Willow said, he could have told somebody. But he, too, has a history of not asking for help when it comes to the werewolf thing.

I agree that Oz really shouldn't have brought up the thing with Xander, because it felt very much like he was throwing that back in Willow's face, which is a very un-Oz-like thing to do. I think what he was ACTUALLY trying to do was remind her that he's been through this, too, and he got through it and was fine. But that's not how it came across.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom