Paternal Rights

[Lou]

Whoa. That was a lot.

LOL! You too!

No wires crossed, I understand what you're saying. I was just being EXTRA careful because I didn't want you to think I was saying your Grandfather was a dead-beat or that you were a big whiney butt.

I know the medical history stuff kind of stinks. And I had a rough time with my first OB when I was pregnant with my son. For some reason, he didn't "get" why I couldn't just call my Aunt. He was a poop.
But, if it helps my second doctor when I had my daughter was SO much cooler. And he probably thought I was a nut because when he first asked I started talking about my Mom and how HER health was and how she had my little brother just fine and then said, "Oops. I mean, my Mom died when I was born."
Apparently, I braced myself for another interrogation and he asked why. So, I told him about my last doctor who had given me so much crap about it. And he sat me down (the sweetheart) and basically SAID the other doctor was a big lazy poop.
He said that LOTS of people have partially missing medical histories and some have none at all. And that in all reality, a medical history doesn't help all that much. That my family could have always been healthy and I could still have a stroke or get cancer at 25. Or they could have been plagued with every disease known to man and I could end up perfectly healthy.
In fact, he said I was probably MUCH better off not knowing. Because when you tell a doctor that your family has always been healthy, they feel "comfortable". And that when you DON'T know your history, they are more prone to running more tests when things go wrong.
No history of breast cancer in your family? Doctor will make you wait until the "normal" age for your first mammogram. BUT, have a missing or partially missing history...you can get tested earlier!

Maybe, at the VERY least it can help you feel better too. Because he had ME on cloud 9!

Wanabee-slayer is the goddess of all that is pink and fluffy in the world

 

[Joyce Summers]

You have a point there. About the not knowing being better I mean. Maybe ignorance IS bliss. I agree with your second doctor though, your first was being a poop head.
And yeah, my pregnancy is pretty much what is making me mutter-worthy about lack of medical records. If I have to say 'I only know my Mother's side of the family' one more time and recieve that same questioning look again....someone may lose an eye. Or something else.

 

[Cordelia Chase*]

Why does your being currently in to men automatically negate the idea of having a family? Same sex couples have kids all the time, and I think that's a good thing. As someone above said, a kid needs more influence in their life that just one parent. Sure, they'll learn basic social skills from everyone they come in contact with; friends, teachers, extended family members....but the earliest education a child receives comes from the home. I know that the two-parent family is quickly becoming the exception, rather than the rule, but I still think that whenever it's possible, children should be provided the opportunity to have TWO parents.

It doesnt. Im all for the family thing but Im not ready to settle down with a family just yet. Im saying that I love kids and that men love kids too. I just prefer to be a single parent or invovled with another man when I do have kids.


And two parents dont necessarily mean anything. Just because you have a mother and a father or 2 mothers or 2 fathers doesnt mean your child will grow up to be all that they can be and become president some day. I grew up with only my mother for most of my life. My father and mother werent the cause of me succeeding. I was. I saw that I didnt want to become some statistic or be like people I know that didnt go for what they want. And also because I had other supportive people in my life. So two parents basically dont mean a thing. You can have two parents but they can be violent or abusive and not fit to have a child.

 

[Lou]

And two parents dont necessarily mean anything. Just because you have a mother and a father or 2 mothers or 2 fathers doesnt mean your child will grow up to be all that they can be and become president some day. I grew up with only my mother for most of my life. My father and mother werent the cause of me succeeding. I was. I saw that I didnt want to become some statistic or be like people I know that didnt go for what they want. And also because I had other supportive people in my life. So two parents basically dont mean a thing. You can have two parents but they can be violent or abusive and not fit to have a child.

I don't think it means anything as far as "success". I know PLENTY of people from two parent households that are slackers. I think it's more of a "Point Of View" thing. Think of it this way....
My side of the family: We're Catholic. We hang out once a week. We drink (not heavily, but the occasional beer is good.) We have a tendency to get loud and occasionally say "naughty" words. We believe in keeping our things nice and not piling the yard full of junk. We're BIG on seeing the circus twice a year and it's a HUGE deal. We ride bicycles and sometimes go on vacation to ride across Iowa and sleep in tents everynight. They have a tennis court in their backyard. That's just part of it.

My husband's Dad's side of the family: They're Baptist. More prone to having what I would call junk in the yard. They don't drink..ever. They don't get loud...ever. They go camping and fishing and to the beach on vacations. Sometimes they have cattle in their backyard. They live down the road but we DON'T see them all that much.

My husband's Mom's side of the family: She lives in Wisconsin and is Jewish. She's also a ga-zillionaire. (Okay, maybe not but QUITE well off.) She has this huge house where we get our own "wing" when we visit. Lake Michigan is in their back yard. And they go to Aruba on vacation.

And for MORE contrast, My Mom's family in Louisianna and Texas:They're ALL crazy, drunk, loud and insane on normal days and a party consists of putting a boat up on blocks and filling it with ice and beer with boxes of wine on top! And usually ends up with three of my 5 aunts or 15 cousins in a fist fight and at least 2 people dancing on the table!

When I think of all the things my family does, it makes me happy my kids are part of it. But, if they weren't a part of my husband's life or if they had never known them, they'd be exposed to a LOT less in life. Sure, sometimes I can look at my in-laws and say, "BOY they're nuts!" And sometimes they are. But, the fact that they AREN'T like my family is what's good. It means my kids get to see a lot more than I would normally expose them too.

That won't necessarily make them successful, but it WILL help them be more well rounded than if they just had ME and my influence.


Wanabee-slayer is the goddess of all that is pink and fluffy in the world

 

[teentitan]

Well if this girl can say with a straight face that she would terminate the pregnancy if the father did not forfeit parental rights then Webster's needs to recall all the dictionaries in the world and put a portrait of this girl in for the definition of narcassist!
With her attitude towards men she should do the male species a favour and just go make a withdrawl from the sperm bank because obviously she has no respect for anyone but herself. With her attitude towards men I just pray if she ever does have a child it is a girl because she sounds like the type of woman that would castrate a male child.

 

[StuckinTraffic]

And two parents dont necessarily mean anything. Just because you have a mother and a father or 2 mothers or 2 fathers doesnt mean your child will grow up to be all that they can be and become president some day. I grew up with only my mother for most of my life. My father and mother werent the cause of me succeeding. I was. I saw that I didnt want to become some statistic or be like people I know that didnt go for what they want. And also because I had other supportive people in my life. So two parents basically dont mean a thing. You can have two parents but they can be violent or abusive and not fit to have a child.

It's true that two-parent families aren't ALWAYS ideal. I come from a single-parent family, too. I'm just saying that I think every kid could benefit from having two sane, fit parents. Of course, insane, unfit, abusive people would be better off sterilized. Unfortunately, the kids don't get to choose......it's a shame. JMHO.