News Please Read: Change in Board Staff

[Professor Walsh]

Why would anyone on this forum have a reason to say that to you?

Erm, do people always look for reasons before typing?

 

[Jersh]

Erm, do people always look for reasons before typing?

The smarter ones do.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

I just want to express how bummed out I am by all the animosity that's going around this place lately. Not all of you, I know. Just from some people. I am really irritated and sad that Lyri and Kean are leaving forever because of this. I admit, I have said some things on here that were not the nicest comments I've ever made (mostly regarding Twilight) but I have never insulted or PMed hate mail to a mod. I have nothing but respect for the people that volunteer their time in places like these. I can't imagine how much work it entails.

I joined a few forums before I decided to permanently make this place my all-things-Buffy home. I joined the Buffy-Forums, *********, a few others...what what drew me to this one was the nice, friendly, and helpful people who made me feel like they really wanted me on here. I really, really, love this board. This place is like my little escape from reality; I can talk to people about all things Whedon, and about life. What also drew initally me to this forum was how well-organized, moderated, and nicely set up it was. All the sub-forums are really nice, and the different skins and icons are a lot of fun.

It really bothers me when intelligent, creative members stop coming around this place as often because they're not liking the newer members' behavior. I see that happening lately and I don't like it. A few people I talk too pretty often I haven't seen on here in weeks.

All I'm trying to say is; the Buffy fandom needs this place. It really does. The Buffy fandom must live on. You know how it does that? By people talking about it on places like this. By people making lasting friendships based on their love of the Buffyverse. It lives on in us. The cult of Buffy is a unique and beautiful thing. I honesty love Buffy and it's fans so much I really can't even express it adequately. Let's all keep it that way, alright?

Let's all just play fair and be nice, alright? I love you all. 🙂

 

[Buffy Summers]

I'd just like to (hopefully briefly lol) address what a lot of you have questioned, and that is why don't we just ban the members in question?

It wasn't just one incident that drove Lyri and Kean to leave. This is something that we have increasingly been dealing with - the staff as a whole - for at least a year. This isn't the situation of three people having a conversation and Lyri and Kean leave. Where we could ban three people and all would be well. It's much bigger than that.

There is a group on this board who take pleasure in causing a rift on the board. Who like to sit around and talk shit about the staff and other members. Who want to disturb the peace and harmony of the board - to what purpose, I don't know. Maybe they just like to wreak havoc, maybe they have a grudge, or maybe they make themselves feel good by trying to "take over" a board and show how "big" they are. This group is conspicuous in their absence from posting in this thread.

By your posting and support (which has done more to help the staff than you all can possibly know, so thank you!) the senior staff has been convinced that the time to take big action is now. So we are taking the time to discuss the best course to take. We all want to do what is right for the board, and it's not a decision that can be properly made in a day. We have to separate who the real destructive forces are here, and who have just been caught up in the influence of friends. Because a lot of these people a year ago I would have considered good members.

We want to get this right, so that we can all move on and not end up in this same place a few months from now. So, though we have not taken immediate action, know that we will be taking action shortly.

🙂

 

[Airam]

Kean is without a doubt one of the people on this board that I adore the very most so this straight up sucks in my book. I know how deeply Kean cares about BB so for her to have left it had to have taken a lot and I gotta say I resent those that were hateful enough that it led her to this decision. And even though I never got to know Lyri quite as well its always been clear that that girl is one super cool chick, talented and an invaluable contributor to this forum. Both these girl's dedication to BB has been exemplary, neither from what I've ever seen has been anything but polite and helpful to members on this board. So why would this unnamed group of people decide to make it their freaking job to talk shit and tear down these girls and any other moderator over a prolonged period of time? Its ridiculous. I see absolutely no merit or cause, in fact all i see is immaturity and ungratefulness to the people that keep together this place they like to spend so much time on. Lyri and Kean, it sucks you're stepping down, though I totally get your reasoning. Hopefully once action is taken, like Buffy says will happen soon, you two can come back and chill with those of us that appreciate and love ya'll 🙂 Cause I know a loss this big will for sure affect how excited I am to log in to BB everyday.

 

[Washburne]

At this point, I'm really tempted to just go ahead and leave myself, since at this point, there's really no reason why I should stick around here

I understand how you feel but I disagree. I would understand leaving. That's not my point at all. I know some people are considering it and I know some have thought of it in the past. And since some people have more or less stopped posting but not giving the reason. But if you love this place and don't think the mods are to blame for the trouble we've been having I say stay and fight if you have the energy. Don't let the "bad" ones win. If you do blame the mods however, leaving sounds like a good idea.

It's only words, you just have to ignore that kind of stuff.

Don't let an avatar talk crap to you, ignore it.
Someone has sent something mean to you through text, so what?
It doesn't matter if they meant it or not, you don't know the person and they don't know you.
Why would you want to let someone bother you like that?

Wouldn't it be great if it was like that? Just deciding that from now on I won't let anything that's being said about me bother me. Some people manages that but guess what? People are different. It just isn't that easy for everyone. Might not be easy to understand for those who doesn't get affected but it doesn't change how things are. You might think what you want of those people but it does hurt a lot of people. Showing respect is obviously too difficult/much hard work for some people. I don't want to have to change. I'll leave it to the others. They got to change, not me. So I'll just stick to my own philosofy, they shouldn't care. Much easier than me stopping to say those things...

I agree. If anyone should have to leave, it should be the troublemakers, not the victims. As it stands now, we've lost two very valuable, not to mention popular, members of the Board, but the troublemakers remain.

Very true. But even if they are very valuable/important and popular (which they are) I'd say that has little to do with it. Even if they weren't as important or popular the behaviour would still have been wrong. This time it just happened to cause two valuable and popular members to leave. I'm sure they aren't the first but probably the two that's the most noticable.

That's kinda like throwing the sailors overboard and keeping the rats. If that sort of logic persists, it won't be long before the rats are going to be running the ship.

Good comparison. Especially if you think of the importance of Kean and Lyri. All of this gets me thinking of something else though. Probably since I work in school. 😉 If there's some big problems with bullying most of the time it's the one/ones that are bullied that ends up moving away. Sometimes they are more or less forced/recommended to move since the trouble doesn't go away and sometimes their families get fed up with how things are going and makes the decision to leave for their own good. It always comes down to the same thing. The bullies win. Another similarity is that even if there's a small group that is the "big" problem a lot of the others can be part of the problem too even if they don't realise. Even small things (intentionally or not) can make a much bigger impact than people realise.

The point is that if you can get rid of the bullies/"big" trouble makers that must always be the preferred way to go. Now as Buffy have stated it isn't as easy as that. I'm hoping they find a miracle way to get things in order but no matter what I know they'll do what they think is best for the board. Having Kean and Lyri leave is absolutely not the best thing for the boards. You don't like what the decision end up to be you're always free to leave. And I second what Cait said. I don't care if it's me. If it's for the best of the boards get rid of them/us that are the big problem if it's possible.

 

[EWR]

I've only been here a couple of months now. Lyri helped me out with a problem I had. She had dignity and grace in the way she dealt with it. The way a mod should be. For people to activiely dig at her and Kean is disgusting, we are no longer in the school play-ground! We should not have to deal with people bad reppinng us just becuase they think they can! I hop you do take a moment and consider punishing the group! It happens sadly on all forums, but it is not acceptable!

People read and type words, some people are ignorant enough to not think that it will matter to the people it affects! Well it does! As you can see here, so if the morons who write that type of horrible stuff read this thread you should think twice before you continue on your little spree.

I can understand why both Lyri and Kean no longer can accept the crap they are getting, who would! They both have put a lot of time into the site and will be a sore lose, even I can tell you that!

 

[Jersh]

I don’t want to have to change. I’ll leave it to the others. They got to change, not me. So I'll just stick to my own philosofy, they shouldn't care. Much easier than me stopping to say those things...

What do you mean by this?

 

[Washburne]

What do you mean by this?

I didn't mean I as referring to me. But how some people seem to think/feel. Why bother thinking about what you say when it's much easier to say that others shouldn't care what you say instead. Instead of stop saying mean things (because saying mean things is fun...) it's better that people don't care what's being said.

Not sure that helps. I'm good at confusing people. 😛

 

[white avenger]

I would suggest that, once this trouble has been resolved if not sooner, we flood Kean and Lyri's e-mail addresses with "Please come back, it ain't the same here without you messages, but that would probably be the wrong thing to do.

Just forget that I ever mentioned it.

 

[Joan the Vampire Slayer]

So, what sort of action is going to be taken??? I'm kind of worried...you don't think Buffy will shut down the board, do you? 🙁

 

[Buffy Summers]

Honestly, Faith and I had a heart to heart and were considering it. But I think I can speak for the rest of the staff when I say that the response in this thread has given us heart.

🙂

 

[white avenger]

I would suggest that, once this trouble has been resolved if not sooner, we flood Kean and Lyri's e-mail addresses with "Please come back, it ain't the same here without you messages, but that would probably be the wrong thing to do.

Just forget that I ever mentioned it.

Comments on this post
InsaneMystic agrees: spam mail? nah... but a petition signed by a few dozen of us might be a nice idea. 😉


Let me clarify, or maybe just rephrase this statement. I didn't mean that we each foul up their e-mail with dozens or hundreds of individual requests. I was referring to something more in the line of petitions. If that didn't work, then we could take out full page ads in their local newspapers, post billboards all over town, hire the Goodyear blimp to circle over playing "Come Back To Me" from "On A Clear Day You Can See Forever," and stuff like that. No pressure, no spectacle, all dignified and restrained, with good taste always the first consideration.

But no spamming. That would just be wrong.

 

[Jersh]

You can get the both of them drunk, then go from there.
LOL.

 

[EWR]

If you shut the boards, they win. I thought from Buffy we learnt;

We always get back up. The mission is what matters

 

[Jersh]

If you shut the boards, they win. I thought from Buffy we learnt;

We always get back up. The mission is what matters

It's probably not going to happen.
Let's stay on a positive level.

 

[Hero]

Well, I don't post here that much anymore but i'm still very much a lurker. I need my Buffy Season 8 spoilers/news! I've been following the whole fighting, banning, cool off period, etc through whatever Buffy Summers posts in this forum. Since I only post rarely now adays, I haven't had any interaction with people who go out of their way to be hurtful. The reason I'm chosing to speak now is... because I want too. I think, not that I'm very important to the goings-on here, but I can speak from experience. I've been a member here for 6 years now if I'm not mistaken. When I first started posting here, there were very few people who started problems - there's really only 3 I can think of off the top of my head. And more importantly, I can only remember one person being banned. Now, being in high school and still a little immature, I had my issues and fights with people on this board, but I never chose to make it a board-wide problem. Buffy Summers was always very kind when dealing with private or delicate matters, but she still gave off the sense of a strong leader. I hope she doesn't take this personally because it comes from a place of love, but Buffy Summers is a tough bitch! She never really had to show that side of her, we only got the happy woman side of her. So, I'm surprised to see that her patience and maybe a little faith in the board has started to wane.

I made some really great friends here way back when. Mostly I still talk to only one of them on a regular basis, but the memories are still very much alive even if the friendships aren't. I was genuinely excited when I saw Angels Baby said she had a baby because I remember when she first found out she was pregnant. Boy does time fly! That brings me to Kean and Lyri. I was never personally close with Kean or considered us friend, but they were always very police and fun to post with. Kean, Lyri, Buffy Summers, the mods and other people who post here deserve respect. Because this is, after all, a message board. While some members have real life relationships outside of the internet, most do not. So, what do you get from ridiculing someone or making them feel less than fresh? Especially over the internet. This is why I started my lurking instead of posting. I figured that I'd rather read and keep the peace than post when I disagreed and let things get out of control. I lurked to regain some self control, because the way I acted sometimes on the board mirror'ed the way I acted in real life. You may think you're toug, but there is always someone tougher than you.

Lyri, on the other hand, while we haven't talked in months, if not years, I would consider her a friend from my time on this board. Quoting Xander, "I have seen her heart." I've lived a troubled life and she was one of the ones I could always, ALWAYS count on to talk to. She is a very caring individual, and anyone who picks on her needs a reality check.

One thing I have taken from this place is while some members are immature, or some are too strict, or some disagree with your every word - the main thing that keeps people here is love, for each other, for the show, etc. I'm a little disappointed by the fact that things have gotten a little out of control here, especially because I know the hard work the mods put into this place. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Take it from a veteran here, who's been in his fair share of board arguments too - there is a lot more that this place offers than Big Brother and Banners. You just have to be mature enough too see it.

 

[Faith]

If you shut the boards, they win. I thought from Buffy we learnt;

We always get back up. The mission is what matters

As Buffy said we discussed the matter in depth and both agreed that we would not close the boards.

 

[Buffy Summers]

Not right this second, anyway.

Thank you for your perspective, Hero 🙂

If anyone is feeling bullied here on the board, I'd like to welcome you to contact me about it, either via pm, or my Office forum where people can only see their own threads - we can treat it totally anonymously. Also feel free to email me, if you want an extra layer of privacy. I encourage you all to use this at any time, but especially now, so all of this can be dealt with at once and so we can all then move on together.

🙂

 

[Blondie Bear]

The thing I'm struggling to understand is, if someone is THAT unhappy with the boards, or anywhere for that matter, why keep coming back? Why not just leave? I can see if it's just another member who's getting you riled up (I've stayed through quite a few of THOSE, Lord knows), but if the owner & staff are pissing you off so bad, why stay?

I don't get it.