The friend of mine who got me into the Latin dance circuit was complaining that a lot of women simply regard a man as their personal ATM machine and have little interest in the man himself. My own girlfriend is the opposite and she didn't believe the situation was as bad as all that. I had been to a Monday night Miss Bachata dance and asked a girl to dance and she said, "How much money do you have?"
I said, "Plenty - but none of it is going to you."
She said, "Well, I won't dance with you then."
Damn right she won't dance with me. I won't allow it.
We were at the outdoor dance at Lakefront Promenade one night beside this guy when a girl approached the same friend and said "How much money do you have?" My girlfriend and I both burst out laughing. My friend had said that he knew some Polish, Ukrainian and Russian women who won't give you a second look until you buy them a house and a Mercedes. Sad to say, he is right. My girlfriend finally believed what we had been saying. She is most definitely not a moneygrubber and everyone regards us as the greatest success story on the Latin dance group.
Not entirely sure what relevance this has on the population crisis, but I can understand that some women do what to be sure that if she's going to give up her career to raise a family, she wants to be sure her partner can support them on his income alone.
Problem or not?
Does it worry you or will you be dead by the time it matters?
What's your theory on what caused it? The collapse of gender roles? Hormones in the water? Demons?
No, it doesn't worry me, and I won't make this political. Let's just say the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are definitely active. And you know what comes next...
So why worry? Party while you can! Grab a case of beer and wait for the inevitable blast wave. 🥳
Not entirely sure what relevance this has on the population crisis, but I can understand that some women do what to be sure that if she's going to give up her career to raise a family, she wants to be sure her partner can support them on his income alone.
Not that many women give up a career to raise children anymore as the proliferation of day care centres can prove. Day care started in WWII when women joined the work force and made ships and aircraft and some factories had day care centres because it was the only way to win the war.
Many women leave a bad taste in our mouths as being entirely mercenary and if the unfortunate man loses his job or she meets someone with more money, he gets cast aside. Not many men want the life of marriage then divorce followed by paying a salary to the wife in the form of alimony and additional wife support disguised as child support and you have to live a very sheltered life to have not seen this. And if he has the unfortunate circumstance of losing his job and not being able to pay child support, he goes to prison. A lot of men are just looking at that scenario and don't care about romance anymore. And children are not the old age support they were in earlier times - we now have old age pensions to take up the slack. So why have children?
Childcare these days costs almost as much as people earn per month. Plus maternity pay isn't great, so either parents have to start paying childcare earlier and miss out on many milestones. Or they live off one wage.
I wish men did go to prison here for abandoning their children, but no, parents have to fight to get child support usually. Obviously some men do willingly pay it, but I'd say the majority don't bother unless they have to.
NotASlayerIn a lot of couples I know, the woman works before work getting everyone ready, both man and woman head out to work, then the woman comes home to cook and clean.
Under American law, child support payments are made to the government, so if a man defaults, the government goes after him. Most don't abandon their children, they are forced out of their children's lives by the mother.
Perhaps this is off-topic, but as a childfree by choice person, I do have some thoughts on this.
For me personally, I've never had an interest in parenting. I enjoy spending time with my friends kids, but have never wanted my own. People - mostly men frankly - have told me my whole life that I'd change my mind, but I never did. I never had that "baby" fever.
And honestly with the way the economy is now, I'm more grateful everyday I don't have any. I can barely afford to support myself, I can't even imagine how hard it would be for me if I also had a child to support. Well, actually I can imagine because I have several friends with kids - both single parents and married or partnered, and it's really difficult for them. The cost of daycare alone is bonkers, and in this day and age, unfortunately, usually both parents have to work, so daycare is vital.
Under American law, child support payments are made to the government, so if a man defaults, the government goes after him. Most don't abandon their children, they are forced out of their children's lives by the mother.
Single fathers exist too, and no one ever talks about it. Women abandon their children too, or are unable to care for them for whatever reason, and unfortunately aren't expected to pay child support as men are. It's way more common than you think. I know several men in this situation, including my boyfriend, who is a single father with sole custody of his four kids. He doesn't get, and has never gotten any child support.
They just lowered the school age here, giving 4 year olds full time kindy access. And they have started things like free breakfast and lunch programs.
I used to work in before and after school care and it was heartbreaking to have kids at school 7am- 7pm 5 days a week, plus holiday programs. I cant imagine what that does to a childs nervous system being held under lights in classrooms all day. If you did that to a horse, you'd mess with hormones, telling them its spring all year. We treat animals better than we treat humans in this system. I couldnt do that to a child.
But in saying that, I'd get a lot more government money if I did pop out some kids. The breeder pages are full of men begging women to have their babies. Especially in their 40's. Its the women who have the choice to say no. Cant say Im not tempted for the pay check now days. I cant get a job as a disabled person but if I popped out some kids I'd get more money than I get now. And once they are 4 the school system will raise and feed them to 18 and then I'd nearly be old enough for the age pension. Yeah, I'd do it for the money, if I could forget my morals.
I doubt the effects of population collapse will be an issue in my lifetime but if I had children, then I would probably be worried for what the might become, like all the men on twitter are. I wouldnt want to leave my bloodline in a wrecked world.
Here in the USA, school aid is supplemental. Children are a hole to throw endless money into. Clothes, food (they eat a lot of it and school aid is minimal in this regard, though sometimes priced cheaper for a normal meal), school supplies (some of which are absurdly high with no excuse) at a bare minimum. In the US is also medical (and dental, etc).
'Course some do game the system, using their children as cash cows, exploiting them rather than raising them, often with criminal neglect and worse. I've even seen a woman buying beer by signing a child support check (year 2000, hopefully that would not be allowed today) as the bank was already closed and the mother really needed her beer. Both the mother and the woman at the register commiserated that men didn't pay more. It's why I think child support should be audited from time to time. (I expect the case of beer the woman got ate up a good portion of the child support check, especially as the cashier had no trouble making change for it.)
For me personally, I've never had an interest in parenting. I enjoy spending time with my friends kids, but have never wanted my own. People - mostly men frankly - have told me my whole life that I'd change my mind, but I never did. I never had that "baby" fever.
Exactly; it is possible to like children without wanting to have one yourself. Sure, you may change your mind once you have a child that is your own, but if you go into the matter with no desire for children there is no guarantee you are going to come out of it wanting to spend the next couple of decades looking after one, and paying for the privilege. And this is a "no backsies" situation.
Having children is a life-changing experience. And that is not necessarily a good one, as well as being an expensive one. Plus, if you are a woman, it is a health changing and potentially fatal experience, even in this day and age, too.
I had no idea til I tried the online dating and wow that opened my eyes. Haha. So many ads for men wanting kids RIGHT NOW. Standing themselves as studs, listing their previous successful offsprings ages and talents. Its a sperm bank with baggage, the men want to be adopted too. I was judging but then remembered I was trawling those pages too so I cant judge. Doing their bit to stop population collapse!
hoponlilmamaFrom the school of George Costanza: "My boys can swim!!"
I had no idea til I tried the online dating and wow that opened my eyes. Haha. So many ads for men wanting kids RIGHT NOW. Standing themselves as studs, listing their previous successful offsprings ages and talents. Its a sperm bank with baggage, the men want to be adopted too. I was judging but then remembered I was trawling those pages too so I cant judge. Doing their bit to stop population collapse!
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