OK, so you're as well saying that Spike hasn't accepted his role as a white knight and hopes that at some point in the future Buffy will become involved with him romantically and have sex with him again?
Nope. Instead of directing you back to what I first posted, I'll just quote myself:
"All this is to illustrate this point: he assumed he couldn't be with her romantically even while he was a soulless, arrogant vamp--certainly he can do it with his newfound humility and ability to self reflect. The difference obviously is that while soulless he thought he might try to do something about it, whereas now he doesn't presume to try."
"As he's dying, he still doesn't believe Buffy loves him. That's my take on it, anyway. And it isn't because of the way she'd treated him of late--if anything, that should certainly be evidence to the contrary. But it's because he doesn't love himself. He doesn't believe he's a thing worth loving, and certainly not from someone he regards so highly."
"But I'm not sure either one thinks he's worthy of her, especially now. "Waking up" after several centuries of being a murderer will probably do that to a guy. Directly hurting the woman you love and the fear of doing it again, guarantees it. It's (a reason) why Angel left Sunnydale. It's why Spike didn't go back to Sunnydale after saving the world in season 7. Are they glad to be "the friend?" No, but what else can they do? "
As you can (hopefully) see, I very much said something contrary to what you think I said. He has accepted that she won't want him in the future.
He isn't ok with it, but he's accepted it.
He then tries to coerce her to go away with him
I'm not a huge fan of the comics so I read each issue once and consequently don't remember the chronology,
but is this before or after Buffy tells Spike, while thinking she's pregnant, that she wanted him to go away with her and the baby?
And yes, the complicated season 9 relationship does lead him to question things, very occasionally, out loud. Does he have a little bit of hope? Yes. Who wouldn't when the woman you love tells you that she was considering asking you to run away and start a new life with her and her child? Remember: Spike had essentially dropped the issue until then. After getting his soul, he doesn't pursue or question their relationship until Buffy gives him reason to believe she might still have feelings for him.
And then, even so, Spike quickly sees that Buffy isn't able to consider him as more than a friend. After getting his soul back and filling up with self hatred, he can't attempt to redefine himself on the terms of the woman he's hurt. So he leaves. Again.
The other point that clearly needs to be addressed is whether Spike has the right to believe that they might be together again, or hold out hope, after the attempted rape. Assuming he (or any OTHER vampire for that matter) also has the right to do so based on attempting to kill her and her friends on numerous occasions. Yes, Spike made a lot of progress into the realm of humanity before he got his soul. But he was still a monster inside, and that's what lead to the attempted rape. The humanity he had within him told him that what he did was wrong, and that he needed a soul to ensure it wouldn't happen again. Once he got that soul, and changed his entire composition, he did--in my opinion--deserve to consider himself worthy of being in a sexual relationship with Buffy again. (
Yet he doesn't. He doesn't think he's worthy of her, and he doesn't expect her to feel differently. Read my older post in this thread for examples. Again, that glimmer of hope in season 9 is what gives him the audacity to ask--and he's off, again.)
We either believe that the things a demon did without a soul can be forgiven once said demon has a soul, or we don't. I, personally, don't think the list of offenses to be considered should stop at sexual assault. If Xander wants to have sex with and marry a woman who slaughtered people for 1,000 years, his choice. If Buffy wants to resume a romantic relationship with Angel after his soulless self killed Jenny Calender, tortured Giles, tried to kill her, and tried to end the world, that's her choice. If she wants to do so with Spike after his soulless self tried to kill her, her friends, and attempted to force herself on her, that--again--is her choice,
and remains to be seen.
But the point is, there are some people who believe--myself and quite a few characters in the show included--that a demon can be judged anew with a soul. Does that mean a character is somehow obligated to take pity on the newly ensouled demon and resume a romantic relationship with him/her?
Hell, no, but obviously some choose to do so. And if that is the case, I don't think it's far off base that said demon is allowed to hold out hope for that.
Have we ever seen Spike so loyal to anything or anyone who he wasn't blood related to and/or (obsessed) in love with?
In season 7, Spike is loyal to Buffy because he loves her, not merely because he wants something from her. That's the change that comes from having a soul. (See Touched monologue. )
🙂 It doesn't mean he thinks she's going to have sex with him. Though there might be a tiny bit of hope there, I see it as mostly acceptance that it won't happen.