Reminder: Family Friendly Rule

Buffy Summers

Yataro
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Sineya
Just a reminder that Buffy Boards is meant to be family-friendly. We've been noticing a lot of stuff skirting the line lately. All members should be able to enjoy the site - please remember that when posting.

Couple of more specific examples:

- If you feel the need to star out letters in your word, you should probably pick another one

- Asking people about their first sexual experiences is not really appropriate in this forum. Remember, even if you would be totally fine being asked something like that, not everybody would be.

Thanks for your attention to this so we can keep BB a nice place for everyone to visit.

🙂
 
I wholeheartedly support this:

All members should be able to enjoy the site

But have to say I object to this:

- If you feel the need to star out letters in your word, you should probably pick another one

I will abide by it, gladly, as I have done for 99% of my time here, but wish it to be known that while I am more than willing to abide by the rules, I exercise my right to protest them. Rest assured that that protest takes the form only of this post and will not be continued, repeated or reiterated anywhere else. Although I may get sarcastic about it from time to time.


As for this:
- Asking people about their first sexual experiences is not really appropriate in this forum. Remember, even if you would be totally fine being asked something like that, not everybody would be.

I'm sure that sounds worse than it was, being out of context, but still, it sounds like it's worthy of more than a friendly reminder post. Not that I would seek to tell the PTB how to run the board, especially as I don't know the context of the incident. That genuinely shocked me when I read it is all.

If both of these actions "skirt the line" it must be a fairly squiggly line: it seems restrictive in one area and almost lax in another (again, I accept I don't know the specifics).

Anyway, moving on...
 
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Duly noted. No more words that require stars. 😛

About the second part - i dont think i'd seen the thread you referred to, but
i have a question about what is allowed 'family friendy' content on BB - it's confusing me for some time.
In Buffy and Angel (and Dollhouse) sex (including first sexual experiences) are shown more or less in details, and are freely discussed by some characters, Faith and Anya being the best example.
Another example is Xander's first sexual encounter with Faith. Can we mention and discuss things like those and the problem is only not getting personal and ask if some members had similar experiences?

Those things we're allowed to discuss,
right? I mean the show itself is allowed along with the themes it brings - sex, bondage, casual sex, abuse and AR shown in details and worse mentioned by some characters for example the line:
"You wanna know what I've done to girls Dawn's age?"

Though the discussions - as usual in these cases - people respond and can mention personal experiences. Do they allowed to share those or give advice what one should do in case of sexual harassment at school/work? Is that ok, and the problem is only with asking other members about their personal experiences/opinions or we need to censor certain episodes or lines or words spoken by characters and not speak about certain issues? Attach gifs from the show?

In short, in which cases it's OK to mention sex, and in which cases isn't?

I am really confused about those rules 😕 what you can or cant say and when, because when i grew up i could ask and discuss absolutely anything at home, there was zero censure...😳😛
and also because my dad was of the opinion that the more i know I'd be better at avoiding potentially dangerous situations.
 
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Although I may get sarcastic about it from time to time.

I would suggest that you don't. If you don't like our rules, you are free to post elsewhere, but if you want to post here you will abide by them.

If both of these actions "skirt the line" it must be a fairly squiggly line: it seems restrictive in one area and almost lax in another (again, I accept I don't know the specifics).

As I said, the comment in question was not appropriate for the board, necessitating this thread. The skirting the line has been in other areas. I just gave two recent examples of things that had been occurring.

Remember, this isn't your Facebook, or text messaging, or twitter, or your living room - things that are okay in those formats are not appropriate to this one.

In Buffy and Angel (and Dollhouse) sex (including first sexual experiences) are shown more or less in details, and are freely discussed by some characters, Faith and Anya being the best example. Another example is Xander's first sexual encounter with Faith. Can we mention and discuss things like those and the problem is only not getting personal and ask if some members had similar experiences?

We have always allowed free discussion of the themes of the show. I'm not telling you we can't discuss sex on this board. The way in which you do it, however, needs to follow the board rules and, frankly, good sense. These issues can be discussed without being vulgar. And that is what we ask. This generally has not been too much of a problem. Asking other members out of the blue about their sexual experiences...that's a different animal altogether. This is not the place for that. It's inconsiderate to other members.

Though the discussions - as usual in these cases - people respond and can mention personal experiences. Do they allowed to share those or give advice what one should do in case of sexual harassment at school/work? Is that ok, and the problem is only with asking other members about their personal experiences/opinions or we need to censor certain episodes or lines or words spoken by characters and not speak about certain issues? Attach gifs from the show?

People do mention personal experiences, and again, this is okay as long as it's not done in a vulgar way, "I was banging this chick last night and..." etc. Though I would caution people about getting too personal, just for the sake of this being the internet and not really the place to share some types of experiences, especially those that would be triggering to others. If we see something we think will be triggering for someone else, we will edit it out.

You do not need to censor things said by characters. As long as the gifs are quotes from the show, that is fine. If it's a lewd gif someone's created, then you should use your judgement as to whether that's appropriate for the board.

As far as advice...people should not be giving advice on things like sexual or drug abuse. The people here are not therapists or counselors on the whole and this is not the place to get that sort of help. If anyone is being abused or having substance abuse problems, please seek help from a therapist, counselor, support helpline, or trusted adult. Many resources can be found here and are also linked in our FAQ: Resources - Christian Survivors Forums

In short, in which cases it's OK to mention sex, and in which cases isn't?

It's not a rule against mentioning sex. It's about not being lewd on the board and being respectful of other members. Discussing things in an adult manner. Not peppering your posts with curse words and obscene/offensive language. The same rules we have always had here.

I am really confused about those rules 😕 what you can or cant say and when, because when i grew up i could ask and discuss absolutely anything at home, there was zero censure...😳😛 and also because my dad was of the opinion that the more i know I'd be better at avoiding potentially dangerous situations.

That's great that you grew up that way, but this is a board about Buffy, not a therapy group or information session about sex, drug use and the like.


All we ask is that people post in a way that allows every member to enjoy the board and not be made to feel uncomfortable being here. Like I said, this isn't your twitter - bad language and obscene and lewd posting is not appropriate here. We try not to be too restrictive on people but before it gets out of hand we needed to remind everyone of the board's rules.
 
People do mention personal experiences, and again, this is okay as long as it's not done in a vulgar way, "I was banging this chick last night and..."

It's not a rule against mentioning sex. It's about not being lewd on the board and being respectful of other members. Discussing things in an adult manner. Not peppering your posts with curse words and obscene/offensive language. The same rules we have always had here.

Fair enough.

About giving advice - I didn't mean i was planning on giving counseling 🙂
Merely pointed out (what you probably already know 😛 ) that the more teenagers know and allowed to talk about the better for them.
Many teenage victims of rape (of both genders) were completely unprepared for situations when they were abused and raped by their teachers/couches and other adults whose duty was to protect those kids
they didn't even comprehend what's happening to them till it was too late. That's why i think the more issues like addiction, rape, abuse and stalking are discussed (in a respectful manner of course) the better, and i am relieved we can do that here.
 
I would suggest that you don't. If you don't like our rules, you are free to post elsewhere, but if you want to post here you will abide by them.

That was said light-heartedly, I accept it maybe didn't come across properly in plain text, but sorry if you felt I was crossing a line. As I said, I'm happy to abide by the rules, I just think that stifling debate about the rules isn't the way to go. I accept you won't be changing the rules no matter what anyone says but I simply wanted the chance to say my piece. I did so respectfully, I felt, and made it clear I was going to leave it there. Again, I am genuinely sorry if anyone felt wronged by the way I presented my point.

As to the edit made to my post in this thread by a moderator. Was that someone joining in my joke? The starred out word - pretty obviously "damn" - surely isn't considered too strong for this site?
 
That was said light-heartedly, I accept it maybe didn't come across properly in plain text, but sorry if you felt I was crossing a line.

I was just cautioning you before it became a problem.

As I said, I'm happy to abide by the rules, I just think that stifling debate about the rules isn't the way to go. I accept you won't be changing the rules no matter what anyone says but I simply wanted the chance to say my piece. I did so respectfully, I felt, and made it clear I was going to leave it there. Again, I am genuinely sorry if anyone felt wronged by the way I presented my point.

You are welcome to give your opinion. But that is something different than going around the board posting snarky comments about the rules.

As to the edit made to my post in this thread by a moderator. Was that someone joining in my joke? The starred out word - pretty obviously "damn" - surely isn't considered too strong for this site?

No, I was not joining in on your joke. In a thread where I asked people not to do that, doing it was not cool. Actually quite rude.
 
I was just cautioning you before it became a problem.
You are welcome to give your opinion. But that is something different than going around the board posting snarky comments about the rules.

That wasn't necessarily what I meant by getting sarcastic about it, and I certainly wasn't intending to go around making it a problem, but I accept it may have sounded like that. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

No, I was not joining in on your joke. In a thread where I asked people not to do that, doing it was not cool. Actually quite rude.

Ok, just checking. Again, sorry. I wasn't seeking to antagonise at all, I think I misjudged the tone of my post because I was a bit startled at being singled out and I thought that what I'd said would be received in the spirit it was meant. Cultural differences I guess, and an object lesson in why one should not post without taking a beat to consider the other possible interpretations of what is said.

I didn't want this to turn into a big issue and I can only apologise again for any offence caused.
 
Well, I'm glad you say that, I appreciate the hard work you do in running the boards and I'd hate to think you'd gotten the wrong impression about me based on some unintentional rudeness.
 
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