Sarcasm
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BillyidolwannaB
Scooby
Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered.
Xander: ''I have a plan, we use me as bait''
Buffy: ''You mean make Angel come after you?''
Xander: ''No, i mean chop me into little pieces and stick me on hooks for fish to nibble at cos it would be more fun than my life''
Xander the sarcasm king.
Xander: ''I have a plan, we use me as bait''
Buffy: ''You mean make Angel come after you?''
Xander: ''No, i mean chop me into little pieces and stick me on hooks for fish to nibble at cos it would be more fun than my life''
Xander the sarcasm king.
crazysoulless
Scooby
Buffy to Dawn: Are you planning on going down to the docks later to wait for the fleet to come in or just call it a night? Where do I start with the bad. First, you said you were going to the library. Second, you do not go on a date without informing me first. Third, Anna Nicole Smith thinks you look trashy.
Buffy to Dawn: First with the lapdance and now with the catfight. Want to get drunk and barf next?
Xander shows Buffy a heart pendant he plans on giving Cordy. Buffy, "Do you think she'll know what it is?"
Buffy to Giles: Yes, and then I'll marry Bob Dole and raise penguins in Guam.
Buffy to the FE: Ever consider a cool name since you're incorporeal and basically powerless? How about, The Taunter?
FE: You have no idea what you're dealing with.
Buffy: Let me guess. Is it...evil?
Cordelia: What does this one do?
Giles: It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.
Cordelia: Boy, here's a demon for everything!
Buffy to Dawn: First with the lapdance and now with the catfight. Want to get drunk and barf next?
Xander shows Buffy a heart pendant he plans on giving Cordy. Buffy, "Do you think she'll know what it is?"
Buffy to Giles: Yes, and then I'll marry Bob Dole and raise penguins in Guam.
Buffy to the FE: Ever consider a cool name since you're incorporeal and basically powerless? How about, The Taunter?
FE: You have no idea what you're dealing with.
Buffy: Let me guess. Is it...evil?
Cordelia: What does this one do?
Giles: It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.
Cordelia: Boy, here's a demon for everything!
MinwaraYana
Love that Giles line! :D
I
InsaneMystic
re: Min's karma... I love Cordy's clueless reaction more! :D
ToShanshuInLA
...
Oh jeez. I won't go overboard, I won't go overboard:
Giles: Demons after money. What ever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.
😀
OZ:
Larry: I would love to get me some of that Buffy and Willow action, if you know what I mean.
Oz: That's great, Larry, you've really mastered the single entendre.
One of my faves with Oz:
Devon: Man, we need a roadie. Other bands have roadies.
Oz: Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords.
Devon: That's just, like, fruity jazz bands.
Giles: Demons after money. What ever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.
😀
OZ:
Larry: I would love to get me some of that Buffy and Willow action, if you know what I mean.
Oz: That's great, Larry, you've really mastered the single entendre.
One of my faves with Oz:
Devon: Man, we need a roadie. Other bands have roadies.
Oz: Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords.
Devon: That's just, like, fruity jazz bands.
BuffyElevated
LOL@your status...
TheChosenTwo
A Vision of Hotliness
Oooh, sarcastic humor. My favourite kind of humor.
Willow: Well look who's cranky bear in the morning!
Giles (who slept on Xander's inflatable chair): Yes, I can't imagine why I didn't sleep well in my beach ball.
Anya: Every time you moved it made squeaky noises. It was irritating.
Giles: Really? I'm surprised you could hear it over your Wagnerian snoring.
Buffy: OK you guys, could we not, please? Everything's screwed up enough without you two doing scenes from my parents' marriage.
Willow: Well look who's cranky bear in the morning!
Giles (who slept on Xander's inflatable chair): Yes, I can't imagine why I didn't sleep well in my beach ball.
Anya: Every time you moved it made squeaky noises. It was irritating.
Giles: Really? I'm surprised you could hear it over your Wagnerian snoring.
Buffy: OK you guys, could we not, please? Everything's screwed up enough without you two doing scenes from my parents' marriage.
MinwaraYana
LOL, every lines here is priceless. :D
Some of my favorites..
Spike: It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, 'I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it!
Xander: Party in my eye socket and everyones invited!
Andrew: In my plan, we are beltless.
Willow: I'm a blood-sucking fiend! Just look at my outfit!
Xander: I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.
Giles: You have responsibilities that other girls do not.
Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah blah biddy blah, I'm so stuffy, give me a scone.
Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.
Xander: Excuse me, who made you the boss of the group?
Anya: You did.
Tara: You said 'Willow should be boss'.
Anya: And then you said, 'Let's vote' and it was unanimous.
Tara: You made her that little plaque that said, 'Boss of Us', you put on the sparkles-
Xander: Valid points, all.
Xander: For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.
Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Buffy: I didn't jump to conclusions. I took a small step, and conclusions there were.
Xander: We're right behind you, only further back..
Anya: I, Anya, promise to...love you, to cherish you, to honor you, uh, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?
Anya: What's she doing? Xander said he was going to dig. I want to see Xander dig.
Buffy: That's part's just ceremonial.
Anya: Well, it bites. She's not rippling at all. Oh. Look, there he goes. Look at him.
Willow: Very...diggy.
Anya: Soon he'll be sweating. I'm imagining having sex with him again.
Buffy: Imaginary Xander is quite the machine.
Xander: Like any of that's enough to fight the dark master...bator.
Buffy: You know we love you right.
Willow: We totally do!
Xander: Oh God, we're gonna die aren't we?
Spike: It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying, 'I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it!
Xander: Party in my eye socket and everyones invited!
Andrew: In my plan, we are beltless.
Willow: I'm a blood-sucking fiend! Just look at my outfit!
Xander: I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.
Giles: You have responsibilities that other girls do not.
Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah blah biddy blah, I'm so stuffy, give me a scone.
Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.
Xander: Excuse me, who made you the boss of the group?
Anya: You did.
Tara: You said 'Willow should be boss'.
Anya: And then you said, 'Let's vote' and it was unanimous.
Tara: You made her that little plaque that said, 'Boss of Us', you put on the sparkles-
Xander: Valid points, all.
Xander: For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.
Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.
Buffy: I didn't jump to conclusions. I took a small step, and conclusions there were.
Xander: We're right behind you, only further back..
Anya: I, Anya, promise to...love you, to cherish you, to honor you, uh, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?
Anya: What's she doing? Xander said he was going to dig. I want to see Xander dig.
Buffy: That's part's just ceremonial.
Anya: Well, it bites. She's not rippling at all. Oh. Look, there he goes. Look at him.
Willow: Very...diggy.
Anya: Soon he'll be sweating. I'm imagining having sex with him again.
Buffy: Imaginary Xander is quite the machine.
Xander: Like any of that's enough to fight the dark master...bator.
Buffy: You know we love you right.
Willow: We totally do!
Xander: Oh God, we're gonna die aren't we?
crazysoulless
Scooby
Buffy: Nice tat. Where they all out of Tweetie Bird?
Buffy: Faith told me to prey on his weakness.
Willow: Was that before or after you put her in a coma?
Buffy: After.
Spike: Xander, don't you care about me?
Xander: Shut up.
Spike: We never talk.
Xander. Shut. Up.
Spike: Xannnnnnder!
Xander: Shut up!!!
Xander: Do you need some fighting pants? I could get you some new fighting pants!
Buffy to Angel: Did you come by for some quality time with Mr. Gordo?
Buffy: I wish we could be like regular kids.
Angel: I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing creature of the night boyfriend.
Buffy: Faith told me to prey on his weakness.
Willow: Was that before or after you put her in a coma?
Buffy: After.
Spike: Xander, don't you care about me?
Xander: Shut up.
Spike: We never talk.
Xander. Shut. Up.
Spike: Xannnnnnder!
Xander: Shut up!!!
Xander: Do you need some fighting pants? I could get you some new fighting pants!
Buffy to Angel: Did you come by for some quality time with Mr. Gordo?
Buffy: I wish we could be like regular kids.
Angel: I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing creature of the night boyfriend.
E
Eleftheria
I love the scene with MrGordo!!! For some reason Angel is holding the little pig and almost crying!!!I love it!!!
Eleftheria
Scooby
Angel's: "I'm a funny guy". It seems sad and melancholic but really...Angel funny? he is in his own way!!!
Buffy's: "Cordelia your mouth is open...sound is coming out of it.That is never good"
And when Cordy is trying to advise her in When She was bad, she calls Cordy "defendant Champion of bitchy behaviour!" sth like that!
Buffy's: "Cordelia your mouth is open...sound is coming out of it.That is never good"
And when Cordy is trying to advise her in When She was bad, she calls Cordy "defendant Champion of bitchy behaviour!" sth like that!
Buffy to Cordy: Great! You don't tell anyone I'm the slayer and I won't tell anyone you're a moron!
Xander: What about me? What can I do?
Cordelia: Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice
running like a man.
Giles to Wesley: You have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone.
Giles: You never train with me anymore. He's gonna kick your ass.
Buffy: Giles!.
Giles: Sorry. Was it a bit honest? (drunken snigger) Terribly sorry.
This isn't exactly sarcastic but it's too funny to not post
Willow: Well, they certainly haven't been right, since Tara. We have to face it. You can't handle Tara being my girlfriend.
Xander: No! It was bad before that! Since you two went off to college and forgot about me! Just left me in the basement to-- (turns on Willow in shock) Tara's your girlfriend?
Giles: (from upstairs) Bloody hellll!
Xander: What about me? What can I do?
Cordelia: Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice
running like a man.
Giles to Wesley: You have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone.
Giles: You never train with me anymore. He's gonna kick your ass.
Buffy: Giles!.
Giles: Sorry. Was it a bit honest? (drunken snigger) Terribly sorry.
This isn't exactly sarcastic but it's too funny to not post
Willow: Well, they certainly haven't been right, since Tara. We have to face it. You can't handle Tara being my girlfriend.
Xander: No! It was bad before that! Since you two went off to college and forgot about me! Just left me in the basement to-- (turns on Willow in shock) Tara's your girlfriend?
Giles: (from upstairs) Bloody hellll!
E
Eleftheria
drunken Giles rules!!! "bloody hell" hahahaha!
TheChosenTwo
A Vision of Hotliness
Wesley: "Remember the three key words for any Slayer: Preparation... preparation... preparation."
Buffy: "That's one word three times."
Buffy: "Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please'. And afterwards I get a cookie."
Buffy: "That's one word three times."
Buffy: "Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please'. And afterwards I get a cookie."
E
Eleftheria
I love the way Sarah says "cookie" in that scene!!! She is so funny!
dan k
Bangel Is Eternal
i concur with Eleftheria. To many that scene may seen insignificant but its those type of moments which made Buffy so successful. I've said it before and i'll say it again, the world might be about to end yet suddenly out of nowhere something in the show will make me laugh. Whether its Spike, Buffy, Angel, Giles or Xander, all of those characters were able to make a serious scene laughable.
Perfect example of that is the season 6 finale when Giles just starts laughing when Buffy fills him on about what has been happening since he left. That scene just sees Buffy and Giles laughing but its great to watch and it just makes you love the characters in the show like you know them personally.
Perfect example of that is the season 6 finale when Giles just starts laughing when Buffy fills him on about what has been happening since he left. That scene just sees Buffy and Giles laughing but its great to watch and it just makes you love the characters in the show like you know them personally.
A
AirwaveRaid
I thought that was actually the funniest moment in any Whedon show. Giles laugh gets me every time
E
Eleftheria
I love that scene in s6...it is so tragic to hear everything that happened and you can\'t help laughing cause Buffy and Giles are laughing their asses off with their mess!!! LOL
ToShanshuInLA
...
I don't know why I didn't post any from Angel. 🙁
From "Provider"
WESLEY: The Internet article I'm currently writing posits a formula for the genome mapping of creatures who don't have genes. It's an exciting arena.
LORNE: One I'm sure we can all download at 'I'll never know the love of a woman dot com.'
From "Epiphany"
LORNE: I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say, if all you're gonna do is switch back to brood mode, we'd rather have you evil. Then, at least, leather pants.
Then there's the hammy scene in Smile Time where Puppet Angel is severely wounded and Lorne is carrying him through the hall yelling, "Medic! Doctor! Is there a Geppetto in the house?!"
I love Lorne. 🙂
From "Origin" (don't know if the line itself was sarcastic or Baldwin's delivery made it seem that way.)
Marcus: Let's be clear about this. Things run differently now. I'm not a little girl. You and I won't be making love on this couch any time soon. Now, with that in mind, how can I help you?
From Fredless:
Fred: So, now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?
Wesley: Well, Fred, that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say... , no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also... nuh-uh.
Fred: But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, 'cause he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sorta thing, why wouldn't it work?
Cordelia: Let me break it down for you, Fred. [as Buffy] Oh, Angel! I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but...
Wesley: [as Angel] But... my gypsy curse, sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...
Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
Wesley: Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!
Cordelia: And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.
Wesley: Or possibly more?
Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't!
Wesley: Kiss me!
Cordelia: Bite me!
Angel: How about you both bite me?
From "Provider"
WESLEY: The Internet article I'm currently writing posits a formula for the genome mapping of creatures who don't have genes. It's an exciting arena.
LORNE: One I'm sure we can all download at 'I'll never know the love of a woman dot com.'
From "Epiphany"
LORNE: I think I'm speaking for everyone when I say, if all you're gonna do is switch back to brood mode, we'd rather have you evil. Then, at least, leather pants.
Then there's the hammy scene in Smile Time where Puppet Angel is severely wounded and Lorne is carrying him through the hall yelling, "Medic! Doctor! Is there a Geppetto in the house?!"
I love Lorne. 🙂
From "Origin" (don't know if the line itself was sarcastic or Baldwin's delivery made it seem that way.)
Marcus: Let's be clear about this. Things run differently now. I'm not a little girl. You and I won't be making love on this couch any time soon. Now, with that in mind, how can I help you?
From Fredless:
Fred: So, now that she's alive again, are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?
Wesley: Well, Fred, that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say... , no. Not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also... nuh-uh.
Fred: But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, 'cause he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sorta thing, why wouldn't it work?
Cordelia: Let me break it down for you, Fred. [as Buffy] Oh, Angel! I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but...
Wesley: [as Angel] But... my gypsy curse, sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...
Cordelia: Yes, Angel?
Wesley: Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!
Cordelia: And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.
Wesley: Or possibly more?
Cordelia: Gasp! No! We mustn't!
Wesley: Kiss me!
Cordelia: Bite me!
Angel: How about you both bite me?
E
Eleftheria
The "fredless" scene RULES!
crazysoulless
Scooby
This should be the "sarcasm" AND "witty zinger" thread!
Kathy: Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Buffy: And guess what? You were next to it.
Faith: Nicely diverted B.
Buffy: That was me fighting for my life, Ms. Attention Span.
Faith: These things are kind of hard to plan.
Buffy: The count of three isn't a plan. It's Sesame Street.
Faith: Why are you getting so bent out of shape for, B?
Buffy: Why are your lips still moving, F?
Faith: Did I just hear a threat?
Buffy: Would you like to?
Cordelia: Crazy freak!
Buffy: Vapid whore!
Amy: I know what Xander really wants.
Buffy: That's funny because I know what your face wants (punch!)
Amy: Who died and made you Queen? Well, you're old enough to be.
Buffy: Are you saying this is my fault. "Gee, Buffy's so mysterious. I think I'll go out and almost die."
Kathy: Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Buffy: And guess what? You were next to it.
Faith: Nicely diverted B.
Buffy: That was me fighting for my life, Ms. Attention Span.
Faith: These things are kind of hard to plan.
Buffy: The count of three isn't a plan. It's Sesame Street.
Faith: Why are you getting so bent out of shape for, B?
Buffy: Why are your lips still moving, F?
Faith: Did I just hear a threat?
Buffy: Would you like to?
Cordelia: Crazy freak!
Buffy: Vapid whore!
Amy: I know what Xander really wants.
Buffy: That's funny because I know what your face wants (punch!)
Amy: Who died and made you Queen? Well, you're old enough to be.
Buffy: Are you saying this is my fault. "Gee, Buffy's so mysterious. I think I'll go out and almost die."