Season Two Quotes

The best Spike season two line, in my opinion...

"It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."

Classic!
 
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eunsoma
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SoBlind
haha yes! i laugh every time he says that
Here's some more quotes I like besides already mentioned (by me 🙂 ) Bad Eggs:

Xander: Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? She's possessed.

Giles: What are you gonna do? Crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life?
Buffy: Would it have cable?

Xander: My dad tried to sell me to some Armenians once. Does that count?

Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke.
Xander: For twenty-one hours?
Willow: It's addictive, you know.

Xander: Private Harris reporting for... Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!

Buffy: Oh, Will, you're supposed to use your powers for good!
Willow: I just wanna learn stuff.
Cordelia: Like how to build your own serial killer?
Xander: Uh, it's so hard to rent one nowadays.

Giles: Quite. And it, uh, acts on-on pure instinct. No conscience, uh, uh, predatory and, and aggressive.
Buffy: In other words, your typical male.
Xander: On behalf of my gender, hey!
Giles: Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions.
Buffy: I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were.

Spike: Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?
Angelus: Well, he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It's tough sledding, but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle.
Spike: You don't give up, do you?
Angelus: As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking... well, rolling the streets... I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there.

Oz, to Willow: "The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity.' And, you know, the monkey's just (French accent) 'I mock you with my monkey pants.' And then there's a big coup at the zoo."
Willow: "The monkey is French?"
Oz: "All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?"

Edit:

Bangelxx agrees: "I mock you with my monkey pants" best quote EVER!

No doubts,
tough, I think there's a tie with "Joyce: Wait till it starts dating" (Bad Eggs) - I ended up with my stomach hurt from laughing too hard.
 
B
Bangelxx
"I mock you with my monkey pants" best quote EVER!
Just watched The Dark Age and have a couple quotes...

Willow: Do you think Giles ever played Anywhere But Here when he was in school?
Xander: Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there were only twelve grades.
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math. This could be mathier."

And, my personal favorite:

Willow: C'mon. You don't think he ever got restless as a kid?
Buffy: Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed. *sees Giles* Giles!
Giles: Oh, there you are.
Buffy: (re: Giles' outfit) Say, is that tweed?
Giles: What? Oh, ah, yes.
 
I always laugh in the scene where Xander and Cordy have the little classroom spat (can't remember the episode)
Xander: You wanna talk negative consequence? What about the heartbreak of hallitosis? I mean a girl may look spiffy but if she ignores her flossing the bloom is definitely off the rose.
Cordelia: Like that compares to kissing a guy who thinks the hoover technique is a big turn-on.
Xander: What about having to feign interest in her vapid little chitchat just so you could get some touch?

In The Dark Age:
Cordelia: Why does eveyone always yell my name? I'm not deaf and I can take a hint. What's the hint?
 
and once again, the brilliance of joss whedon's mind

*Some Assembly Required*
Buffy: Is it 'cause I danced with him?
Angel: 'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer.

*Lie To Me*
Angel: Do you love me?
Buffy: What?
Angel: Do you?
Buffy: I love you. I don't know if I trust you.
Angel: Maybe you shouldn't do either.
Buffy: Maybe I'm the one who should decide!

*Innocence*
Cordelia: This is great. There's an unkillable demon in town, Angel's joined his team, the Slayer is a basket case... I'd say we've hit bottom.
Xander: I have a plan.
Cordelia: Oh, no, here's a lower place.

*Passion*
Angelus: Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space.

Angelus: Passion, it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all...and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of hatred and the ecstacy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd truly be dead.

*Becoming Part 1*
Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.

*Becoming Part 2*
Joyce: Well, it stops now!
Buffy: No, it doesn't stop. It never stops. Do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is? How dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or, god, even studying! Instead I have to save the world. Again!

Buffy: The whole earth may be sucked into Hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to not care.

Buffy: Hello, lover.
Very nice opening of her cos thats how Angelus always used to greet her

Angelus: Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends...No hope. Take all that away... and what's left?
Buffy: Me.
 
Spike:
'So, this slayer. Is she tough?'
or
'So what, if you ask me i find myself preffering the old Buffy whipped Angelus 'cause this new improved one is not playing with the full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next man, but these little pranks you keep playing are only gonna leave us with one incredibly brassed off slayer.'

or
'Dru killed a slayer? good for her. although not for you i suppose'.

and one more

Willy the snitch: 'what are you gonna do with him?'
Spike 'Im thinking dinner and a movie'
 
"We like to talk big... vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got...dog racing, Manchester united. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square."
 
I like most of Drusilla's quotes

Drusilla: Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?
Spike: Eyeballs to entrails my sweet.

Drusilla: The boy doesn't trust you. They follow him. I think sometimes that all my hair will fall out and I'll be bald.

Drusilla: Do you like daises? I plant daises but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies.

I love this one:
Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.

Spike: Is anyone on watch here? It's called security, people! Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?

Spike: (On Ford's request to become a vampire) I've known you for two minutes and I already can't stand you. I really don't feature you living forever. (to Drusilla) Can I eat him now, love?

Willow: HEY! We don't have time for this! Our friends are in trouble! Now, we have to put our heads together and, and get them out of it! And if you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library!

Buffy: I wish we could be regular kids.
Angel: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.

Xander: So, why go to all the trouble of inventing something, and then giving it a weak name like that? I mean, I'da gone with "The Cross-o-matic", or, uh, "The Amazing Mr. Cross".

Kendra: Did I not see you kissing a vampire?
Willow: Buffy would never do that! [to Buffy] Oh. Except for... sometimes you do that. [to Kendra] But only with Angel! [to Buffy] Right?

Buffy: It's OK. Kendra killed the bad lamp.

Xander: Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.

Kendra: That's me favourite shirt! It's me only shirt!

Buffy: I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come, and they run around and they kill people, and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini-pizzas, and everyone's like, "I like your mini pizzas", but I'm telling you, I am"”
 
i know im VERY late but still i wanted to put my two cents in :]

Spike: If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move.

Jenny: Rupert, you have got to read something that was published after 1066.

Buffy: La vache... doit me... touche... de la... jeudi. [looks at Willow] Was it wrong? Should I use the plural?
Willow: No. But you said, 'The cow should touch me from Thursday.'
Buffy: Maybe that's what I was feeling.
Willow: And you said it wrong.
Buffy: Oh, je stink.

Angel: I taught you to always guard your perimeter. [tuts.] You should have someone out there.
Spike: I did. I'm surrounded by idiots. What's new with you?
Angel: Everything.
Spike: Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?
Angel: She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave her the puppy dog "I'm all tortured" act. Keeps her off my back when I feed.
Spike: People still fall for that Anne Rice routine? What a world!
Xander: I knew you were lying. Undead liar guy.

Xander: So, when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?
Angel: I told you. I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.
Xander: A-and if he bit me, what then?
Angel: We would've known he bought it.

Dalton: Yes, but ... The Order of Taraka. I mean, isn't that overkill?
Spike: No, I think it's just enough kill.
 
"Holy thread ressurection bat man"

I know its been dorment for a long time but i think this timeless classic line from Xander deserves to be mentioned...

(Along these lines)

Buffy: "so what are we doing tonight?"
Xander: "Well we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledge hammer but hey, we did that last night"

Cracks me up every time.
 
I have a lot of favourite quotes. Here are some of them

Spike: The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one.

Cordelia Chase: I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie-Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed...
Xander Harris: I think you mean *Oppressed*.
Cordelia Chase: Whatever. They were cranky. So they're like, 'Let's lose some heads.' Uh. That's fair. And Marie-Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake.

Spike: Can I eat him now, love?

Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it, this is never good.
 
My favourite season two quote...well i have two...they're completely different though.

Halloween, Buffy - "I want to go with the man with the musket...do you have a musket?" ...something like that

Passion, Angel - Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead
 
ahahahahaha

CORDELIA: I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?

XANDER: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.
 
Joyce🙁looks at spike) Have we met?
Spike: (faces her) Um... you hit me with an axe one time. Remember?
(makes an ax-holding gesture) Uh, 'get the hell away from my daughter.'
(lowers his arms)

Joyce: Oh.

**********************
That just makes me chuckle.... :lmao:
**********************
Principal Snyder: There are some things I can smell. It's like a sixth sense.
Giles: No thats one of the five.
Principal Snyder: With her, I smell detention, expulsion, and just the faintest whiff of jail.
Giles: You could give her a second chance. She could surprise you.
Principal Snyder: You really have faith in these kids, don't you?
Giles: Yes, I do.
Principal Snyder: Weird.
**********************
I love Principal Snyder quotes
**********************
Cordelia: Oh, look, it's the Three Musketeers.
[The others look at each other.]
Buffy: (to Xander) Was that an insult?
Xander: Kinda lacked punch.
Willow: The Three Musketeers were cool.
Cordelia: I see your point.
Xander: I woulda gone with Stooges.
Cordelia: Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So, did you guys fight any demons this summer?
Willow: Uh, yes! Our own personal demons.
Xander: Uh, such as, as, as lust and, uh, thrift!
Buffy: I would have to go with Stooges also.
**********************
Drew xxx
 
Willow: "Do they really stick out?"
Xander: "What?"
Willow: "Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? Have you ever seen one and gone, 'Wow, that baby is sore!"

🙂
 
Most of mine have already been mentioned, but I thought I chuck in these from Becoming

Buffy: The theme is Angel's too much of a coward to take me on face-to-face.
Xander: And the other theme was 'Buy American', but it, uh, got kind of buried.

Buffy: I have had a really bad day, okay? If you have information worth hearing, then I am grateful for it. If you're gonna crack jokes, then I'm gonna pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat.
Whistler: Hello to the imagery! Very nice.

Xander: Cavalry's here. Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here.

Spike: (in a singsong voice) Someone wasn't worthy....

Giles: Xander?
Xander: Can you walk?
Giles: You're not real.
Xander: Sure, I'm real.
Giles: It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want.
Xander: Then why would they make you see me?
Giles: You're right. Let's go.
 
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