Well, that depends entirely on how you view her self-sacrifice. When she lays back, turns her head, and waits for Buffy to kill her...I view that in many ways. One way, yes, Anya was very unhappy with her life. But also, she didn't want to kill people. I think Anya was extremely lost. She didn't know what to do, what direction to take. She had found her niche with Xander, and that was shattered, so she went back to the only other thing she knew. The thing that had brought her comfort last time she had been betrayed by a man. Only this time, she received no comfort from it. Doing these awful things to people was killing her. But even then, she didn't see a way out. And I believe a good chunk of her sacrifice was because she did not want to be a vengeance demon anymore. She didn't want to hurt people anymore. And perhaps the only way out of that, she felt, was death. She knew D'Hoffryn, she knew his rage and mercilessness, I'm sure part of her expected to die if she tried to back out of her duties. And she was willing to die, not just because she felt unhappy and lost, but because dying was a way to right her wrongs. The episode is called Selfless, and I don't think there is a more selfish thing in the world than to kill yourself because you're sad. The title, in part, tells you about Anya's motives there.
Selfless = not Aud, not Anyanka, and not Anya. For the end of any rational debate, even after Halfrek is turned to toast in Anya's place and the Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue resurrected, it still is said by Anya to Xander:
"What if I'm really nobody..."
Selfless, as in, I'm nobody.
The act cannot be "selfless", since her "sacrifice" was only done to right
her own wrong, and not somebody else's wrong. There's no sacrifice when I steal a dollar from you, and then pay it back later. It's called restitution and returns things to status quo ante. That's all. So don't get all "noble" about it, since with the good we have the prior bad. For less reason to be all "noble" about it here, who gets "sacrificed"? So Halfrek's the sacrificial lamb here, offered up to save Anya from her sin. So what did Anya sacrifice? Nothing.
Her mental state was indeed, my life isn't worth living, so now time to end it. Again, killing the frats boys was her attempt to prove
to herself that she was somebody, Anyanka, and not nobody. She failed and was left with, in her own word, "nobody". And again, that's after it's all over, and she's "nobody". So much for the uplift that usually accompanies one's "sacrifice". Did something worthy, did you? Good, now you can feel good about yourself and your place in our world. Not her, she's nobody.
And I'm not a fan of suicide by cop. Once Anya failed her own test, that's what it was, with first Buffy and then D'Hoffryn playing executioner. Lucky for Anya, the strictly literal Aud was no more, or else she (Aud) would have caught the literal meaning of D'Hoffryn's words, here, life and soul of, a, one of many, vengence demon(s), and not, life and soul of the vengence demon who did the deed that need be undone, as the, a versus the, opened the door for Halfrek to be taken in Anya's place, and that's what Halfrek gets for calling Willow, "lemon drop".
And by the way, it was Willow's emotion in response to the "lemon drop" that prompted D'Hoffryn to say later in the episode.... didn't I sense a bit of the old you earlier today? Except D'Hoffryn misread her emotional state. Willow wasn't angry at Halfrek for the "lemon drop" so much, but instead for the fact that Halfrek was trying to poision her friend Anya by way of aiding Anya's return to the old Anyanka, and so it wasn't vengence but instead a loving protection that was the fundamental emotion of the moment, though the "lemon drop" no doubt caused the "rage" meter to rise a tad for just a bit there. As I said, Willow is the hero of Selfless. Refused to go on Buffy's mission and then went out and successfully prosecuted her own contrary mission. She saved her friend Anya. She new the choice that Anya would make. And so she allowed D'Hoffryn to think that Halfrek was vengence when it wasn't, and even though Anya isn't Anyanka any longer, she considers Halfrek a friend, on so some pain with Halfrek's death can be offered to D'Hoffryn as the price that Anya must pay for her own escape. Best deal ever made on the show. But the mental state that saved and won the day:
Don't you understand that I'm a vengence demon?
No.
She said it directly to Anya and later implied the same to Buffy when she refused to have anything to do with Buffy's mission [a mission that could end only in the death of Willow's friend Anya, and so time for Willow to refuse to go on Buffy's mission and instead come up with and execute an opposing mission]. Truly lastly, what did Buffy do here that merits any kudos to her? So she doesn't kill Anya rather quick so Willow can conceive and execute a mission that Buffy does not even know exists?
So what was Buffy's role in Selfless? She had one, yes? A good part of the show, comparatively speaking, is Xander trying to convince Buffy to let Anya live. He doesn't go on Buffy's mission. Neither does Willow. Why do you think that Buffy went on this mission alone? Because she had the right plan, or instead because Xander and Willow wanted no part of her mission? Do you not think that if "holding back" was in the works, that maybe Xander and Willow might have tagged along? And if you're looking to negotiate, why bring the sword?
Remember, Anya didn't become a vengence demon just prior to that moment. She'd been one again for a while, and no plan on her part to harm Buffy and no plan on Buffy's part to harm her. So why not go on over and talk, and leave the sword at home? Buffy couldn't. The murder(s) crossed the line, and in the Slayer versus anything and everything non-human motif, the murder(s) merited death by Slayer. That's why Buffy exists. As she tells some in season 6, we humans have a system to deal with humans like Warren, but not for vamps, demons, etc., and that's why I am here and why we can't kill Warren if we can reasonably take him alive [recall here, her convo with Xander and Dawn re why some need stop Willow before she too crosses the line and Buffy loses, in her own words, a friend]. So with murder, Anya had crossed the line, and so no more friend, and it was time to do what the Slayer does. What was needed here was not Buffy to be something that she never was, but a General, or Watcher, who can tell Buffy, stand down, as we will first try to conceive and execute an alternate mission, and then if that fails, you get perform mission and do your duty as Slayer.
Truly lastly, what did D'Hoffryn himself say? Isn't that just like a slayer, solving all her problems by sticking things with sharp objects? He was correct, as that is Buffy's mission as Slayer. And it helps to realize that even your "hero" is likely to make some egregious mistakes, and not just for tv but in real life as well. Lucky for Buffy, the only cost for the egregious mistake here was a v demon by the name of Halfrek. If only the rest of us could be so lucky.
---------- Post added at 05:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:10 PM ----------
flyonthewall:
Maybe this comparison will help re Buffy:
Anya: Don't you understand that I'm a vengence demon?
Willow: No.
Xander: Because you don't care about her the same way I do. Buffy, I still love her.
Buffy: I know. And that's why you can't see this for what it really is. Willow was different. She's a human. Anya's a demon.
Some saw her as human while the other saw her a demon. Explains why 2 didn't go on mission and why 1 came up with an opposing mission, and in contrast, why a third 1 went out on mission alone.
You and most of the rest miss the other element here, to wit, the Angel/Angelus element. It comes in this conversation, as Buffy remarks that she had to kill Angel, so she understands how Xander feels about not wanting to kill the one you love. And so Buffy claims to know what this is all about, matter of fact, she expressly says that emotion is clouding Xander's judgment [in so many words]. And that's why there is no mercy here. Remember, Buffy let Angeles go when she might have taken him out. Don't know if there were any others, assuming so, as vampires like to drink of the human blood, but we know for certain that Ms. Calendar died owing to Buffy's failure to eliminate Angeles as soon as the circumstance permitted. Buffy wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.
Her error here is not in mission, as she is Lady Hacksaway. Her error is instead in the "demon". In contrast, Willow did not "understand", meaning that she knew who Anya truly was, and not even Anya herself was going to convince her otherwise. And Xander brought up everything that had made Anya turn down the path towards Anyanka and begged Buffy to show mercy. No offer of mercy was extended.
Lastly, for you and rest, if she's holding back, then kindly explain:
Xander: ...You know, if there's a mass-murdering demon that you're, oh, say, boning, then it's all gray area.
Buffy: Spike was harmless. He was helping.
Xander: He had no choice.
Buffy: And Anya did! She chose to become a demon. Twice.
Xander: You have no idea what she's going through.
Buffy: I don't care what she's going through!
So, not just any demon, but one who has twice chosen to go that route. So even less reason for mercy here, and so I don't care what she's going through. Now again note the dichotomy between humans and others. Willow was different. She's a human. Anya's a demon. Twice. By her own choice [can't say that about Angel and Spike]. And she wasn't there to show mercy, but to kill, and in her own words to Xander: ...it's what I have to do. And so she left with the sword.
Lastly, as grandpa always said, never point the gun at anyone unless you intend to use it. Grandpa was a smart man, and he said what he always said because if you point the gun at some other human, that human might infer an intent to kill on your part and decide to kill you first. This last here is the problem with any holding back, since Anya doesn't know about the holding back, and she might get lucky and kill Buffy first. Grandpa would also know why I know that flyonethewall and most of the rest of you are wrong. You don't point unless your aim is to kill.
