Sharknado!!!!

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

Sharks have been here forever...and they're always hungry. Especially those Great Whites which are AWESOME (unless you're in the water with one) and terrifying (like Spuffy).

There's been an increase in shark attacks, here on the West Coast of California. Honestly, people! Why are you surprised? Stay out of the water if you don't want to be chomped on.

Any other ideas?

 

[DeadlyDuo]

Sending strong enough pulse waves through the water to confuse the sharks and deter them? I think I heard somewhere that sharks sense movement through water hence why it's unwise to splash about when a shark is around because they interpret it as something injured.

Imagine if they re-made Jaws, it would be one of those things that is even scarier because the same thing is happening in real life.

Other option is Trump could build his wall in the sea with grates to let the smaller wild life through but small enough to keep the Great White Sharks out.

 

[thetopher]

Apparently surfing is a bad idea; the board makes unappetizing gangley humans look like plump tasty seals from underneath; the poorly-sighted sharks can't tell the difference before they attack.
The fact is sharks like fatty animal meat and humans are usually too stringy. Unless they're fat of course.
Sharks will attack if they're really hungry and have no other food source (which is why shark attacks are on the increase) but usually they will steer clear.

So...stay thin and beautiful. Get a tan (pale flesh makes you look more like a seal) and randomly thrash about in the water a lot (this tends to put sharks off). Also don't bleed.

And if a shark comes close you can escape terrible danger by softly rubbing the sides of their head just behind their gill-flap things. It's the shark-equivalent of ticking a dog behind the ear or stroking a cat until they purr; the sharks love it and go completely docile/non-aggressive. Then you can safely swim away.

 

[DeadlyDuo]

randomly thrash about in the water a lot (this tends to put sharks off).

Thrashing about attracts shark as they think it is something injured so they go to investigate.

And if a shark comes close you can escape terrible danger by softly rubbing the sides of their head just behind their gill-flap things. It's the shark-equivalent of ticking a dog behind the ear or stroking a cat until they purr; the sharks love it and go completely docile/non-aggressive. Then you can safely swim away.

That's assuming the shark isn't attacking. They tell you now just to try and get the hell away because the whole punch it in the nose/poke it in the advice fails to mention the great big mouth of razor sharp teeth that are very close to said eyes and nose.

 

[thetopher]

Thrashing about attracts shark as they think it is something injured so they go to investigate.

If there's no blood then its much less likely. Sharks can be put off by lots of agitated movement, they'll go for the basking target (like the guy/gal on a surfboard)

That's assuming the shark isn't attacking.

My advice was kinda ironical and impractical. But also true. 🙂
A punch on the nose is an attack and the shark will respond accordingly (also you have to time the punch just right), but there is quite a bit of film showing many divers rubbing the sides of a sharks head and the shark going from 'aggressive' to 'docile/almost friendly' in a matter of seconds.
The only thing is I'm not sure it works on Great Whites, but it has been know to work on Tiger Sharks.
Of course if they're 'just about to attack' then you're screwed no matter what.

 

[DeadlyDuo]

A punch on the nose is an attack and the shark will respond accordingly

Lol. I just had the mental image of someone punching a Pixar shark on the nose and the shark deciding to punch them back in the face. 😛

 

[ChaseRules]

My advice myself is to stay close to the beach . If you do then the shark will stay away since i heard they don't like shallow water & will stay from it .Plus if a shark is coming at you most people will just try & get away from it & not do anything else.

 

[thetopher]

I just had the mental image of someone punching a Pixar shark on the nose and the shark deciding to punch them back in the face.

Of course in reality a shark would just do some sort of martial arts tail flick against the person who punched them. And then maybe chomp them a bit out of spite. 🙂

 

[ChaseRules]

Don't forgot picking it teeth with your spine 😛

 

[ILLYRIAN]

A lot of the 'eaten by mistake' belief is made by people who GUESS that is what is happening. Personally I don't believe them, I think the attacks are because humans go into the sharks domain.

 

[brinkster130]

It's true, hitting the shark on the nose or face area can save your life if you're being attacked by a shark. I lived across the street from Todd aka Shark Boy who was attacked in the Monterey Bay for a couple years....he luckily survived and talked a lot about how his reaction was to hit the shark.

A lot of attacks seem to happen in areas known to have great white sharks - so perhaps the fact that so many people continue to engage in activities in waters known to have sharks is why there seems to be so many.

 

[Anyanka Bunny Slayer]

My advice myself is to stay close to the beach . If you do then the shark will stay away...

Not necessarily.

 

[Ethan Reigns]

You can't expect the sharks to go away if you don't pay your debts:

 

[ChaseRules]

So do the right thing & pay you kittens to the nice " person " before they become cats 😀

 

[Taake]

So...stay thin and beautiful. Get a tan (pale flesh makes you look more like a seal) and randomly thrash about in the water a lot (this tends to put sharks off). Also don't bleed.

And if a shark comes close you can escape terrible danger by softly rubbing the sides of their head just behind their gill-flap things. It's the shark-equivalent of ticking a dog behind the ear or stroking a cat until they purr; the sharks love it and go completely docile/non-aggressive. Then you can safely swim away.

So my alternatives for a safe summer is thrashing around in the water or becoming the Shark whisperer? Can I be a pale fleshed seal on the beach and stay safe? Hm, guess Shark whisperer is the solid choice here.

Another suggestion is to always swim in company with someone who is a lot slower than you and whom you are willing to sacrifice. Have sharp nails and when you see a fin, scratch your friend to draw blood and then quickly swim the other way.

 

[ChaseRules]

Another suggestion is to always swim in company with someone who is a lot slower than you and whom you are willing to sacrifice. Have sharp nails and when you see a fin, scratch your friend to draw blood and then quickly swim the other way.

It things like that both show that you in Black Thorn & are very smart . Evil but smart 😀

 

[Taake]

It things like that both show that you in Black Thorn & are very smart . Evil but smart 😀

Life is brutal, best to go with the flow and be brutal as well 🙂

 

[Bluebird]

The only sharks I know of around here are basking sharks, and they're basically just nets for plankton.

I'd love to see a dangerous shark, from a safe distance of course.

 

[Last Watcher]

Yeah, you don't get too many 'Great Whites' in the Solent.
Neven been a fan of beaches, with my pale skin I tend to burn easily (No I'm not a Vampire!) so I tend to stick to forests for my downtime.
So not much chance of a Shark attack......but those squirrels can be nasty!

 

[thetopher]

A lot of the 'eaten by mistake' belief is made by people who GUESS that is what is happening.

Also marine biologists think this. They examine shark guts and find out what they like to eat; soft, fleshy things like seals and dolphins mostly. Humans have too many bones/not enough fat.

So my alternatives for a safe summer is thrashing around in the water or becoming the Shark whisperer? Can I be a pale fleshed seal on the beach and stay safe? Hm, guess Shark whisperer is the solid choice here.

'Shark-whisperer' is a pretty good way to look at it. I think on some level a lot of animals can be responsive to tender behavior.
A friend of mine told me that crocodiles- ancient prehistoric monsters that they are- like to have the soft underside of their jaw stroked and tickled...could be a tissue of lies though. A ruse to trick me into some fatal croc-related fatality at a critical juncture in my life.