Shipping and Relationships

Doppelgang

Doppelgang

Always Believe
Joined
Dec 4, 2010
Messages
510
Location
West Midlands, UK
What does your Buffy ship or ships say about your own views and experiences of relationships?

Shipping Spuffy said for me that I have a view that relationships should arise via a hard struggle against the tide, and not be a simple journey, for instance.

I'm sure there is a lot more to be said also, I will have to put some thought into it. What are other peoples thoughts of their own personal experience of any connections between their ships and their own relationships?
 
I started typing a long answer, and then I realize that my shipping doesn't really fallow any rules. Each ship that I like, I like for a different reason, whether it's personal, or because of the chemistry between actors or because I just like the characters. Some of the pairs that I ship on this show are Tara/Willow, Willow/Kennedy, Buffy/Spike, Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Faith, Cordy/Doyle, Wes/Fred etc. To be honest, my reasoning for liking each ship varies from ship to ship.

Usually though, my OTP will be a ship that relates to my life or has a specific significance. Usually those are the ships that I will be very passionate about but they are also rare. For Buffy my only real OTP is Tara/Willow. Other examples would be Katniss/Peeta, Gail/Holly (Rookie Blue), Naomi/Emily (Skins), Piper/Alex (OITNB), and Ron/Hermione. Those are ships that I care about in a deeper way than simply "Oh I like that ship".
 
I think if you have an OTP it will probably have a direct reflection of who you are as a person and values you hold. I see Bangel as relationship of equals. The love the share for each other is the same. No one is more invested than the other. They share a similar moral compass and have similar goals/attitudes to the work they do. Buffy and Angel come together as two full individuals with pasts and quirks and they meet each other in the middle. I love that. It also represents wanting the very best for yourself. If you are going to be in love and have a relationship, I think it should be the greatest love possible for you. To me anything else is a waste of time. I also love that they had an instant connection, I don't believe in True Love, but I believe in that click, that insta-chemistry. I'm a person who trusts their gut above anything, and my first instinct has rarely sent my down a wrong road.
 
Taake
Taake
couldn't have said it better. Hats off to you, miss K!
Blaze
Blaze
[No message]
Am I right in thinking OTP stands for one true partner?

Thanks for both sharing your thoughts, it can get quite personal to talk about this kind of thing, and can touch sensitive areas of who we are. So it is probably best to not go into too much detail.

I would just add on having a bit more time to think that although there is a connection usually between ships and relationships, the connection is not an unchangeable thing as we all develop and mature over time in our understanding of relationships. OTP stuff is difficult to judge because it is so much about how a person subjectively feels about something or someone, and its difficult from the outside looking in to ever be sure of this except in your own personal case maybe. It is more about a felt conviction than anything else, so there is nothing you can point to as explaining or justifying it. All you can do is feel it and live it.
 
Buffy Summers
Buffy Summers
One True Pairing I believe
I think shipping is (sometimes) about the kind relationship you want to have...but sometimes it's just two characters you like who have chemistry.

You could say Bangel & Spuffy are the romantics & the practicals, for instance. But that doesn't mean you're never going to be into a relationship that doesn't fit that mold.
 
Absolutely nothing?

Relationships are more complicated than this, there's sexual and intellectual, social and emotional, conscious and unconscious. And pairings? Different people enjoy them for completely different reasons. What about all those fans who do not care about shipping at all and are not emotionally invested in any pairing? What, are they all asexual?

This is nonsense.
 
People's likes and dislikes (or impassivity) say something about them. It might not say everything, but I don't think the OP is necessarily suggesting a direct correlation - such as that people who don't care about ships on shows also don't care about them in real life.
 
For me, there's no clear connection between what I like to see in fiction and what I want in my real life. Usually when I root for a particular pairing, it's because there's something in the story that convinces me that they should be together. But whatever that element is, it is not always something I want in my own relationship. In fact, very often it isn't.

But yeah, ultimately a well written story can win me over. And typically in fiction I go for a romance that isn't easily won; something that has to brew for a while and endure lots of ups and downs before it solidifies (if it ever even does). In real life? Doesn't apply at all!
 
brinkster130
brinkster130
[No message]
I'm a Spangel fan, and I enjoy the Fanged Four - and yes, this is partly because I love history, love the changing views of various times, and love the idea of a relationship so deep with years that humans couldn't quite comprehend it.

As for Buffy, personally I think she'd be smart to avoid dating vampires - just settle into a relationship with a Dean Winchester type. 🙂
 
Personally I like non-canon relationships best of all, ships/chemistry that's there but not acted upon. I can project to my hearts content. 🙂

Untold stories can be really interesting in this way- I like the 'what if' aspect of it all. 🙂

I mean, I like some of the canon ships from the show when I watch them, but I'm always thinking- 'how would these two people interact under different circumstances?', or 'what would happen if these two meet up?'

I think it comes from having lots of friends who are in and out of relationships a lot, both straight and gay couples, whereas I'm a fairly steady relationship kinda guy- I'm always curious about what people see in different partners/relationships.
 
bespangeled
bespangeled
[No message]
I, too, think Graham is highly underrated- 🙂

plus the tension between Buffy and him in 'Out Of My Mind' is something to see. 😛

See, the joys of non-canon! The fun is in the justification, or not! 🙂
 
Blaze
Blaze
Does non-canon relationships mean I can ship myself with fictional characters? Cause that just creates a whole bunch of new ships that I like :p baha
Buffy Summers
Buffy Summers
Yes! Finally someone sees it my way! :D
I hate "love at first sight" relationships. They offer no suspense, no thrill, no surprise, and no reason to actually almost feel like standing up and cheering when it finally dawns on one or both characters that they actually do love each other. That development, drawn out over months or even years, is what good writing and character development is all about.

If I want Romeo and Juliette knockoffs, I'll go buy a couple of Harlequin Romance novels.
 
Silverspike
Silverspike
[No message]
Ah, Buffy Summers' undying love for Graham...the stories some of us could tell, lol.

Anyway, ships. I tend to agree with @thetopher in that I don't generally ship the canon ships. But, then again, I don't ship a whole lot to begin with.

My canon ships would probably only come out at four or five - Bangel, Parker/Hardison (Leverage), Scott/Kira (Teen Wolf), Victor/Sierra, Pacey/Joey (Dawson's Creek). I don't have really hardcore ships outside of that.

But I have non-canon ships coming out the wazoo, lol. But I don't expect anything to happen with them. I'm not one of those people who's sitting behind her computer writing angry, threatening letters to producers and writers because her ships aren't being explored and accusing them of homophobia. (Yes, it happens)

I generally don't care about ships. Ships come second to me after the character. I'd much rather explore the character than worry about when and how they're going to get together with the other character. I couldn't care less about 'when are they going to KISS?!!' stuff and I think that probably reflects a lot on me as a person.

I don't want a relationship. I don't want to get married, I don't want a partner, I'm not looking for a partner and I'm completely at peace with that. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that it would be me and a hundred cats, lol. If I want a baby at some point in the future, I can go ahead and have one, I don't need to be in a relationship for that to happen.

Yeah, I think my view of shipping is a huge reflection on me as a person.

---------- Post added at 08:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:25 PM ----------

Buffy Summers agrees: No! Isaac + Allison!!
Click to expand...

I typed Allison by mistake - I meant Kira, lmao!! But, yes, I agree with that one, Isaac/Allison gets my vote, too. I have a weird, uncontrollable love for Isaac, I'm really going to miss him. *cries*
 
Buffy Summers
Buffy Summers
No! Isaac + Allison!!
EVIL UU
EVIL UU
You live your life the way you want to - I like that. It's badass.
thetopher
thetopher
Stance respected!
Thinking about it I like Graham a hell of more than Forrest, even though he's got, like, 20 lines of dialogue in the entire series.

Actually I think I like him more than Riley. 😛
 
Personally, there isn't a huge connection between the ships I like in fiction and my own relationships and experiences. There are a few exceptions of course, but over all I like pairings that make me believe in them and root for them. Sometimes those are the hopeless romantic couples, often the logical couples, sometimes the quirky odd ball pair and frequently even the destructive dark couples. It all depends on how drawn into their stories I become. Also, I typically like more than one pairing in a show or book. In BTVS I love Buffy w/ Angel but also really enjoyed Buffy w/ Riley and Satsu; and I wouldn't hate to see Buffy date someone else in the future. For me' my favorite characters say way more about my personal values and experiences.
 
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