Should we get back together?...

[xtrustno1x]

I should *really* be doing my English paper right now, but I can't think until I get this off my chest. Me and my ex broke up back in February. The relationship was never serious, and we had both agreed on it not lasting past high school. However, he decided to end it early, citing that it was pointless, wanted to be single for awhile, etc. I never really got over him. Or I did, but then I'd just start thinking about it at the wierdest times. Anyways, we got to talking tonight, and he said that he was getting mixed signals from me about getting back together maybe. I finally told him that, yes, part of me missed it, but the other, more sensible part of me, was keeping me from saying anything since I knew once college came that it would be over. It's a little late now, lol. So, we talked some more, and he seemed interested in it. He was honest, and said "I'm going to be a really shallow guy right now...but if we did get back together, I would like something to happen...or at least try something". Which is what was lacking in our relationship before. I'm really shy/nervous when it comes to that stuff. He was initially, but I think he broke out of it sooner than I did. He said he didn't mean just sex. And there didn't have to be just sex. He just wanted something more, as far as sexual side of things go. (Which is resonable, because "more" now would be more like how a real relationship is. Before, we hardly even kissed...). So I was thinking on my way home about everything. And I had to know if he just wanted to get back together just because he thought that there would be sex, or if he was actually still interested in me. And, yeah, I know guys sometimes lie about this, but I just wanted to hear him say something so that maybe I could figure out from his tone, etc. I told him that, hypothetically, if we did go back out, I couldn't promise him anything. I don't want to waste having sex with him knowing it's going to end in a few months. I told him that, and he understands. I kind of gave him something to think about (the "no promises" thing). I guess it's in his court, now. I think...This stuff is so confusing. Kudos to anyone who understands what I mean by all this. So, now I'm still left trying to figure out if I want to try "us" again...or leave it where it's at. I really do miss him, and before the break-up, I was hoping we would move to something a bit more serious. I want to get back together because I genuinely miss him. I guess I just need to find out from him if he truly misses me, or is just like "sure, let's do this and see what happens". Grr. What do you guys think? Should I give it a shot, see where it leads? Or maybe just leave it where it's at. I'm pretty damn sure it's not going to lead to sex. I don't want that in this kind of relationship. I'm just wondering what he might possibly want out of this - me, or what he thinks he can get.

 

[Soulgasm]

by saying that college is going to falk it up...you already show that this isn't serious....you show that this is ultimately going anywhere...

he wants ass...before he grads...fast ass...so if you don't want to be the gurl giving it to him...know that he's trying to play you and manipulate you to give ass...

do not get back with him just cause of loneliness...cause he'll exploit it to his advantage...

trust...i gots the pimp juice...understand that i know how he thinks because i'm a purer version of male...i don't lie about the desire for ass....i can tell i got more game than him...its just that...i'm a pimp with a heart...lol...so when i say he wants ass...he wants it...cause that's what i would be doing...

 

[Angels baby101]

LOL i agree with Gasm dunno bout that whole pimp part but yeah.. seriously almost any guy who sits there toward the end of highschool saying he wants to get back together with you but wants "More" Tend to usually really only want the more part.. and if your not ready nor want to give him anything more then he should respect that and move on but like i said gasm is right the guy will probley play off of what you feel for him and turn it around and try his best to get what he wants out of you..

 

[ana8]

Also have to agree...If I were ou I'd not back togethjer with him..wait for someone who'll respect you and won't want to take things to 'higher level' reardless whether you're ready or not.I'm pretty sure this guy will try to make you change your mind..but if you think you can stand this and still want him,then ultimately it's your decision....But better think twice🙂

 

[xtrustno1x]

'Gasm...I love you dude. You're just too cool...

I've thought about it a lot...and we've talked about it a lot more since then. Our relationship in the past is hard to explain, because I don't really even understand it. IT sure wasn't all that normal. On an emotional level, I guess it was serious. But both of us were just to scared and...I hate to use the word "young"...to really move further. I've always seen relationships as something that tends to evolve or move further, and both of us had no clue what the hell we were doing since it was our first relationship of any kind. And he's always been honest with me...he's been brutally honest with me before, and I've been the same with him. I don't plan on having sex with him. Like I said, knowing it's going to end, he's not getting anything from me. And he's well aware of that, and he knows I'm not budging on that front. I think I made the situation sound a bit worse than it really is. I've known him for a long time, and for the whole year and a half we went out, he never brought up the topic of sex. He's not much of a "get some ass" kind of guy. I think we both were just stuck in a limbo when we broke up. We just needed to experience a bit of the single life for awhile. I really appreciate your guy's advice. I know this is going to seem really stupid, especially considering everyone's *very* valid points, but I think I'm going to give this a shot. If it gets to the point where things are coming up that I am not comfortable doing, I have faith in myself to recognize that and end the relationship. I've always been a big proponet of the "have fun with it" kind of relationship, and not in the sexual way. I think that if we hadn't broke up, there was a possibility of us moving further. I don't want to look back and regret not having this last bit of fun before college. And I'm not going to do anything that I *will* look back on and regret. That's for sure. Both of us have been best friends for a long time, even prior to our relationship, and we've never lied to each other. It's hard for me to trust anyone, and the fact that I do trust him...Hmm. I'm going to think about this some more, though. Don't want to jump into anything.

 

[Jenny]

I don't plan on having sex with him. Like I said, knowing it's going to end, he's not getting anything from me.

Hmm. Ask yourself this then. Do you really want to start something, knowing it's going to end? What would be the point?

It sounds like the breakup was his way to go out and sow his wild oats so to speak.

Personally, you've already gone through the pain of the breakup. Why bother setting yourself up to have to get over him again?

i'm a pimp with a heart...lol

LOL 'Gasm, you're so refreshing! 🙂

 

[Ninjalizer]

Any relationship that has a planned ending should not be started in the first place. It IS pointless and just messes with each others emotions. If you want more than just sex, it doesn't seem like you'll get it. Obviously neither of you are serious enough about each other to get there.

But if times have changed, and you know you can trust him now...then you might take a shot.

 

[xtrustno1x]

Any relationship that has a planned ending should not be started in the first place.

Very valid point, I just tend not to think that way. At least not in high school. College is different. Not to bash on anyone who's ever married their high school sweetheart, but I just don't have a lot of faith as far as long term relationships that start in high school go. I've never looked at a high school relationship in terms of "this could lead to marriage" or any other thing. I don't doubt that finding your "true love" in high school happens. It just didn't happen for me. I'm enjoying this for whatever time there is left. Kind of a "live in the present" type thing (except where sex is concerned, that's a huge "...future" deal). Who knows...maybe it will last into college. Just neither of us really plan on our first relationship being our last. This probably doesn't make a damn bit of sense, lol...

If you want more than just sex, it doesn't seem like you'll get it. Obviously neither of you are serious enough about each other to get there..

Honestly...we aren't that serious. At least not serious enough for sex. I guess you could describe our relationship as more friends than anything. And I don't want sex. Sex is something I'm saving until I think I *have* met someone worth it, a relationship that more than likely will last.