Billy_Blood
Potential
Hello there. Long time lurker, first time poster. Anyway, besides Buffy I also love the Simpsons. If you are not interested in The Simpsons, this post might not be very interesting to you.
If you are a Simpson fan, you'll know that every Halloween they do a show where the parody a horror or sci-fi movie/tv show/book. So I wrote this funny little script of how a pardoy of Buffy would look.
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Lisa the Vampire and Other Such Nasty Demons Killer
We see a shot of a sign that says "Sunnydale High". The camera zooms out and we see the exterior of an elementary school. A man on a ladder is taking off the sign and replacing it with one that says "Springfield Elemantery School". Lisa Simpson is walking into school.
Lisa: I'm glad they're finally fixing that sign.
Lisa is walking in the halls to class when she sees her Principal Skinner.
Skinner: Ms. Simpson, could you please come with me to the library?
Lisa: Why?
Skinner: Uh...because...
Lisa: Ok.
Next scene, we see the both of them in the school library.
Skinner: I brought you here because it's it's very secretive since nobody ever comes here.
The school librarian overhears.
Librarian: Hey!
Skinner: Oh, you know it's true. Anyway, I need to tell you something very important. You see Lisa, you are not a regular girl. Not anymore anyway. You Lisa, are a vampire slayer.
Lisa: You mean like Buffy?
Skinner: No, not at all like Buffy. You see, you are destined to battle vampires.
Lisa: That's like Buffy.
Skinner: Stop talking about Buffy! Ok, you see the last slayer has died, and you have been called to be the slayer. You now have super-human strength.
Lisa: That's impossible! I'm just a litte girl.
Skinner: Oh yeah?
Skinner grabs a wooden board from his jacket pocket.
Skinner: Try breaking this in half.
Lisa: Ok, but I don't see the point... HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lisa's hand goes straight through the wood and goes on to hit SKinner's face.
Skinner: OW! Very...very good.
Lisa: Is your nose bleeding?
Skinner: Only a little.
Lisa: Wow, so I really am a slayer. But how do you know all this and why are you telling me?
Skinner: I am your watcher. It's my job to train you in all aspects of slayer life.
Lisa: And you just happen to be my principal? That's a lucky coincidence.
Skinner: Yes. Now, here is the most important thing. You can never tell anybody about this. This a grave secret and nobody may know. Not your friends, not your family, not...
At that moment Groundskeeper Willie passes by them washing the floor.
Skinner: Willie please. You're ruining the whole mood of the moment.
Willie: Arg. Don't mind me. Willie don't care about you being a slayer. Between you and me, I'm actually a vampire with a soul.
Skinner: No you're not. The sun is shining on you from the window.
Willie: Eye. I just wanted to see if I could get my own spin-off.
Skinner: Lisa, report here after school for further training. Oh and take this.
Skinner hands a stake to Lisa.
Skinner: Keep one of these with you at all times. You never know when you might need it.
Lisa: Well, I kind of an environmentalist. Could we instead of using a wooden stake you some sort of plastic alternative.
Skinner: No.
Lisa: Well I don't see why we have to kill mother nature along with evil.
Skinner: Just go to class.
Lisa is about to leave he library when she sees Milhouse at the door.
Lisa: Milhouse? Were you listening to our conversation.
Milhouse: Well I was stocking you as usually do, so when I saw you come to the library...
Lisa: Oh you didn't!
Milhouse: It's ok. I won't tell anyone that you're a slayer as long as you let me join you evil hunting gang.
Lisa: NO!
Skinner: I'm afraid he has to. If any civilian finds out about you they have to join the Pussycats.
Lisa: The what?
Skinner: It's short for Josie and the Pussycats, the hit Hanna-Babera cartoon. That's what we call the slayers allies.
Lisa: Why?
Skinner: Don't ask me, I don't make up these crazy rules. Oh, I'll come pick you up tonight to go to the cemetarie.
To Be Continued.
If you are a Simpson fan, you'll know that every Halloween they do a show where the parody a horror or sci-fi movie/tv show/book. So I wrote this funny little script of how a pardoy of Buffy would look.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lisa the Vampire and Other Such Nasty Demons Killer
We see a shot of a sign that says "Sunnydale High". The camera zooms out and we see the exterior of an elementary school. A man on a ladder is taking off the sign and replacing it with one that says "Springfield Elemantery School". Lisa Simpson is walking into school.
Lisa: I'm glad they're finally fixing that sign.
Lisa is walking in the halls to class when she sees her Principal Skinner.
Skinner: Ms. Simpson, could you please come with me to the library?
Lisa: Why?
Skinner: Uh...because...
Lisa: Ok.
Next scene, we see the both of them in the school library.
Skinner: I brought you here because it's it's very secretive since nobody ever comes here.
The school librarian overhears.
Librarian: Hey!
Skinner: Oh, you know it's true. Anyway, I need to tell you something very important. You see Lisa, you are not a regular girl. Not anymore anyway. You Lisa, are a vampire slayer.
Lisa: You mean like Buffy?
Skinner: No, not at all like Buffy. You see, you are destined to battle vampires.
Lisa: That's like Buffy.
Skinner: Stop talking about Buffy! Ok, you see the last slayer has died, and you have been called to be the slayer. You now have super-human strength.
Lisa: That's impossible! I'm just a litte girl.
Skinner: Oh yeah?
Skinner grabs a wooden board from his jacket pocket.
Skinner: Try breaking this in half.
Lisa: Ok, but I don't see the point... HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lisa's hand goes straight through the wood and goes on to hit SKinner's face.
Skinner: OW! Very...very good.
Lisa: Is your nose bleeding?
Skinner: Only a little.
Lisa: Wow, so I really am a slayer. But how do you know all this and why are you telling me?
Skinner: I am your watcher. It's my job to train you in all aspects of slayer life.
Lisa: And you just happen to be my principal? That's a lucky coincidence.
Skinner: Yes. Now, here is the most important thing. You can never tell anybody about this. This a grave secret and nobody may know. Not your friends, not your family, not...
At that moment Groundskeeper Willie passes by them washing the floor.
Skinner: Willie please. You're ruining the whole mood of the moment.
Willie: Arg. Don't mind me. Willie don't care about you being a slayer. Between you and me, I'm actually a vampire with a soul.
Skinner: No you're not. The sun is shining on you from the window.
Willie: Eye. I just wanted to see if I could get my own spin-off.
Skinner: Lisa, report here after school for further training. Oh and take this.
Skinner hands a stake to Lisa.
Skinner: Keep one of these with you at all times. You never know when you might need it.
Lisa: Well, I kind of an environmentalist. Could we instead of using a wooden stake you some sort of plastic alternative.
Skinner: No.
Lisa: Well I don't see why we have to kill mother nature along with evil.
Skinner: Just go to class.
Lisa is about to leave he library when she sees Milhouse at the door.
Lisa: Milhouse? Were you listening to our conversation.
Milhouse: Well I was stocking you as usually do, so when I saw you come to the library...
Lisa: Oh you didn't!
Milhouse: It's ok. I won't tell anyone that you're a slayer as long as you let me join you evil hunting gang.
Lisa: NO!
Skinner: I'm afraid he has to. If any civilian finds out about you they have to join the Pussycats.
Lisa: The what?
Skinner: It's short for Josie and the Pussycats, the hit Hanna-Babera cartoon. That's what we call the slayers allies.
Lisa: Why?
Skinner: Don't ask me, I don't make up these crazy rules. Oh, I'll come pick you up tonight to go to the cemetarie.
To Be Continued.
