Willow Rosenberg
I might be just like you!
Do you believe in Soulmates? That there is one person in this entire world who is your perfect match?
Soulmates
- Thread starter Willow Rosenberg
- Start date
killerdwarf
Scooby
Hmm. I'd love to say yes, but I'm not really sure if there is such a thing as a "perfect" match. The whole "soul mate" idea is pretty fuzzy to me. Does it mean you never disagree, never fight, don't have differing opinions, or what? I've known some people who have thrown away perfectly good marriages due to the "(s)he's not my soul mate, I can't stay with (him or her)." I think a good many people confuse the feelings they get at the beginning of a relationship (infatuation and all the good stuff that goes with it...lust, etc) with what they expect to feel all the time with a "soul mate". When the infatuation fades, the person feels that this one is not the "soul mate" they were looking for, because of the change in the way they feel, and move on. Am I saying you should settle for less? No, and anyone that's been in on some of the more controversial conversations in this forum will know that I would never council anyone to "settle". You must demand the best from any partner you choose, but bear in mind that no one is a perfect match. That's a wives' tale, IMO. So, I guess I vote "no". 🙂
SlayerThe
My
Nope.
I don't think that there are soulmates.
It is improbable to think out of everyone in the world, you would somehow be destined to love only one person. And even if there were, you might not even meet up, especially if you didn't live in the same time.
There are probably a million people in the world that each person could fall in love with.
It depends on the circumstances, timing, et cetera.
So many people that you could potentially love.
I don't think that there are soulmates.
It is improbable to think out of everyone in the world, you would somehow be destined to love only one person. And even if there were, you might not even meet up, especially if you didn't live in the same time.
There are probably a million people in the world that each person could fall in love with.
It depends on the circumstances, timing, et cetera.
So many people that you could potentially love.
K
killerdwarf
So many women...only one Comma...;)
Jacklyn
Now a Scapenerd too...
Call me a hopeless romantic, but I do believe in soul mates, but I guess not in the way most people see it. I think there are many people in the world that you can love, but there is only one who is the absolute ying to your yang, the perfect equal, the person who's disagreements with you are even intriguing. There's no such thing as the perfect match, but there is the match that's perfect for you.
I've learned this from experience! LOL...the only people that I've ever met that could put up with me ALL THE TIME is my husband...and vice versa. The way we bug each other some times, even those that know us best regularly ask us how we handle each other. We never look at it as handling. It's not a chore. We just act the way we act with each other and we're comfortable being ourselves-100%. If that's not a soul mate, I don't know what one is...
I've learned this from experience! LOL...the only people that I've ever met that could put up with me ALL THE TIME is my husband...and vice versa. The way we bug each other some times, even those that know us best regularly ask us how we handle each other. We never look at it as handling. It's not a chore. We just act the way we act with each other and we're comfortable being ourselves-100%. If that's not a soul mate, I don't know what one is...
(And if I may say, if you see these two together, you would believe it too! So cute lol)
And now that I'm done embarassing the staff...
Well I think if you believe in soulmates, then there's a destiny factor in there, which would say that you must at some point meet 🙂
I hear what you're saying here kd, but I think the feelings that you're talking about at the beginning of a relationship are not the same feelings you feel when you're with a soulmate.
I think when you meet the person who is your soulmate, you will feel completely different about them than anyone you've ever known in the past. Maybe you don't even have that "infatuation" stage - your relationship with each other is so much more than that. It's the person you can sit and talk with for hours and not even realize that time is passing. I think you end up having this amazing relationship and then one day it just becomes appallingly evident to you that there is no one else out there for you. That you can't imagine ever feeling this way about anyone again.
I think it's easy to not believe in soulmates, until you find it. When you can move from one relationship to another, that goes through the same stages of feeling, it's easy to say when one ends that another will come along. But when you find "the one" - even if you are seperated, you can't imagine being with anyone else.
Oh one more thing, lol. I don't think it's about finding someone that you never fight with or that's all lovey dovey all the time. It's someone that is exactly what you need, and you're exactly what they need. You can be completely yourself with them. And it's enough to just be with them.
And now that I'm done embarassing the staff...
Slayer said:
Well I think if you believe in soulmates, then there's a destiny factor in there, which would say that you must at some point meet 🙂
killerdwarf said:
I hear what you're saying here kd, but I think the feelings that you're talking about at the beginning of a relationship are not the same feelings you feel when you're with a soulmate.
I think when you meet the person who is your soulmate, you will feel completely different about them than anyone you've ever known in the past. Maybe you don't even have that "infatuation" stage - your relationship with each other is so much more than that. It's the person you can sit and talk with for hours and not even realize that time is passing. I think you end up having this amazing relationship and then one day it just becomes appallingly evident to you that there is no one else out there for you. That you can't imagine ever feeling this way about anyone again.
I think it's easy to not believe in soulmates, until you find it. When you can move from one relationship to another, that goes through the same stages of feeling, it's easy to say when one ends that another will come along. But when you find "the one" - even if you are seperated, you can't imagine being with anyone else.
Oh one more thing, lol. I don't think it's about finding someone that you never fight with or that's all lovey dovey all the time. It's someone that is exactly what you need, and you're exactly what they need. You can be completely yourself with them. And it's enough to just be with them.
killerdwarf
Scooby
Buffy Summers said:
When you put it that way, it does make more sense. The point I was making is that not everyone has the same ability as you, Jacks and most of us here to differentiate between "infatuation" and the feelings you'd have for a soul mate. I think the idea of a soul mate is nice, but it is contributing to a false sense that you must have that, and anything else is meaningless. You see, IMO, what you've described is just plain falling in love with someone. Maybe I'm splitting hares ( or is that hairs...Bugs Bunny messed me up that way 😉), but I think that people have the idea that a soul mate is more like what I said at first. Destructive, if that's the way you intend to find a mate!
Well I'll agree with you there - if people keep moving from relationship to relationship looking for something they think is out there then that's unhealthy lol.
As far as the "falling in love with someone" part, what I guess I'm meaning is - that (jmho) you can think you're in love many times, but if you really find your soulmate, that is the moment when you realize that you weren't really in love before. That if you find your soulmate, that is "plain falling in love with someone" as you said. That what you had before wasn't it - something you wouldn't realize until that actually happens. When it's the right person, you know it.
I was struck by what you said about the "infatuation" at the beginning of a relationship. That feeling when you just meet someone new and you like them (yes, I am 12 years old lol) and you think about them all the time. Yadda yadda. There was a time I would have called those kinds of relationships love, but I wouldn't say that now. No matter how strongly I felt at the time, they weren't love.
lol, rambling... 😀
As far as the "falling in love with someone" part, what I guess I'm meaning is - that (jmho) you can think you're in love many times, but if you really find your soulmate, that is the moment when you realize that you weren't really in love before. That if you find your soulmate, that is "plain falling in love with someone" as you said. That what you had before wasn't it - something you wouldn't realize until that actually happens. When it's the right person, you know it.
I was struck by what you said about the "infatuation" at the beginning of a relationship. That feeling when you just meet someone new and you like them (yes, I am 12 years old lol) and you think about them all the time. Yadda yadda. There was a time I would have called those kinds of relationships love, but I wouldn't say that now. No matter how strongly I felt at the time, they weren't love.
lol, rambling... 😀
killerdwarf
Scooby
If you had asked me six months ago if i believed in soulmates it would have been a big no!
What Buffy said previously is very true. Most relationships start with that obsessive infatuation stage and it can easily be mistaken for finding your soulmate, in the loosest sense of the term.
But when it really happens you know it. It goes way beyond attraction, or love, or lust, or any of the usual things that you get when you first meet a person that you fall for. The connection is totally different, almost like it always existed and you have just been waiting to meet back up again.
So yeah, i would say that since meeting a certain someone that posted not far above me, i've definatly changed my opinion on soulmates, cause i met mine! 😉
What Buffy said previously is very true. Most relationships start with that obsessive infatuation stage and it can easily be mistaken for finding your soulmate, in the loosest sense of the term.
But when it really happens you know it. It goes way beyond attraction, or love, or lust, or any of the usual things that you get when you first meet a person that you fall for. The connection is totally different, almost like it always existed and you have just been waiting to meet back up again.
So yeah, i would say that since meeting a certain someone that posted not far above me, i've definatly changed my opinion on soulmates, cause i met mine! 😉
elmo
Anyone here speak Whale?!
I'm not so sure really. I get what everyone has said and I totally understand the distinction between infatuation and "soulmates". I don't know if I've found mine or not but I'm willing to work at it because I know I love him. I think you have to work to keep a relationship going. God knows I've worked at mine and I know that he will always be special in my heart. Does that make him my soulmate?
F
Frenchy Faith
Yup you're right, when someone is willing to work at a relation that makes them soulmates in a way.
i don't know nearly enough about you two to say yes oor no, nor is it my place. but i believe that soulmate is something that you recognize instantly when it's there. that you meet this one special person and you know that everythingyou've been through your entire life has led you to him and you can't imagine a moment in your (future) life without him, you can't imagine a time when you stop loving him. truth is i can't even define that...
Buffy Summers
I know what you mean :)
elmo
Anyone here speak Whale?!
I get what you're saying - but the truth is I don't think anyone really can define it. And I suppose that I will know when I know. But is it something you know when you first meet them or is it something you work towards?
Hmm...good question. I think it's not always immediately apparent to you, but maybe once you realize it you'll see that it was always there - if that makes sense... 🙂
SlayersDestiny
Destiny
Yes, I do believe in soulmates. I have found mine and I couldnt imagine one day without him in my life. To me a soulmate is somone that accepts you for who you are, faults and all and has no intention of changing you and vice versa, its an unconditional love. My husband and I met 16 1/2 yrs ago and have been married for 15 1/2 yrs. It was a rocky road at first and most people said that we would never make it, so far we have proved them wrong. He and I accept that neither are perfect and will never be. There are days that we may not like one another too much and we have had our fair share of arguments. Deep down we know one another. If I have had a bad day he will have a bath ready for me when I get home, with candles and my coffee waiting. He will tell me to go relax. Many evenings we just sit and talk.. nothing specific, just talk to one another. When I know that he is stressed I will call one of his buddies and have him waiting here when my hubby gets home and then I send them out the door to go look at stereos and have a guys night out. To me the word soulmate is not about who cooks and cleans, but the little things that you do for one another to show appreciation and that you are in tune to one another. Maybe I am just corny or a hopeless romantic myself, but I know I have found my soulmate.
elmo
Anyone here speak Whale?!
LoL Buffy - I hope so. We'll just have to wait and see what happens. 😉 I guess if you believe in soulmates then you might have more chance of finding the "one"! Or perhaps at least of knowing who is the right person for you.
eponinethen
Majk
I voted no, I don't believe there is one person who is perfect for you. I believe you can find that "soul mate" thing in many people.. There might be one person in the world who is best for you, but even if it is that doesn't really matter since there are almost no chance at all you'll ever meet him/her.. That sounded like a bad thing, but I didn't mean that like something to be sad about, cause I believe there are lots of people who are almost as perfect for you. I mean, I might have one "soul mate" now and a different one in 20 years, cause both me and that person would probably change a lot. I'm not saying it's impossible to meet your perfect love when you're young and live together forever, but I think you gotta work a lot and have lots of luck. I believe that you could fall more or less in love with many people, and depending on the situation, the timing, and so on, different guys/girls could be your "soul mate".
SlayerThe
My
With billions and billions of people on the earth, it is very hard to picture that one person was destined for you. Or is your perfect match.
I think the notion of soul mates really deters love. Some people just sit around waiting for their soul mate to magically pop up in their arms, while instead they could go out, live a life and meet interesting people that they could potentially love.
It's most likely that no matter who you date, marry, fall in love with et cetera -- there is probably someone else out there who would be an even better match for you.
Boy and the statistical odds of you meeting this soul mate are really low. And somehow makes you question free will and puts predestination in perspective.
Then you have the timing and location (Don't get me started on Net Dating) and so many other possibilities that it just seems unbelievable to me.
But that's just my two cents.
I think the notion of soul mates really deters love. Some people just sit around waiting for their soul mate to magically pop up in their arms, while instead they could go out, live a life and meet interesting people that they could potentially love.
It's most likely that no matter who you date, marry, fall in love with et cetera -- there is probably someone else out there who would be an even better match for you.
Boy and the statistical odds of you meeting this soul mate are really low. And somehow makes you question free will and puts predestination in perspective.
Then you have the timing and location (Don't get me started on Net Dating) and so many other possibilities that it just seems unbelievable to me.
But that's just my two cents.